Join us today for the Saturday Night Special about why you need to know your roles to reduce stress...
In this episode I talk to you about what you can do to reduce the stress you feel behind living competing roles...
In tonight’s Saturday Night Special I talk with you about all the roles you have. I also talk about how we often have struggles around all those roles. I include a few tips on how you can help balance and prioritize across your roles.
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SNS 82 Why You Need to Know Your Roles
[00:00:00] Scott Maderer: [00:00:00] Welcome to tonight's. Saturday night, special episode 82
[00:00:04] Wayne Titus: [00:00:04] I'm Wayne Titus author of the entrepreneur's guide to financial wellbeing. I encourage you to be inspired, to become a better steward through financial wisdom. By listening to this, the inspired stewardship podcast with my friend Scott Maderer.
[00:00:26] Scott Maderer: [00:00:26] the guilt comes in. When you say, Hey, I'm going to drop everything for my family. And then you feel like you don't actually follow through on that, that dichotomy between what you say you're going to do and what you actually do creates more stress. So create a prioritization list of your roles, which role tops, all the others.
[00:00:47] What are the things that you would give up? Welcome. And thank you for joining us on the inspired stewardship podcast. If you truly desire to become the person who God wants you to be, then you must learn to [00:01:00] use your time, your talent and your treasures for your true calling. In the inspired stewardship podcast, we'll learn to invest in yourself, invest in others and develop your influence so that you can impact the world.
[00:01:22] And tonight Saturday night special. I talk with you about all of the different roles that you have. I also talk about how we often have struggles that come up around serving and living out those roles. And I include a few tips on how you can balance and prioritize across your roles. Now, one area that a lot of folks need.
[00:01:42] Some help with is around the area of productivity, getting not just more things done, but actually getting the right things done can be really tough. I've got a course called productivity for your passion. That's [00:02:00] designed to help you do this and then to hold you accountable and walk with you so that you can tailor productivity, not just to be getting more done.
[00:02:11] But actually getting the right things done. What's more, we take the approach of looking at your personality and how you actually look at things in the world and tailor the productivity system to your personality. Cause the truth is a lot of the systems that are out there are written really well for somebody with a particular personality type.
[00:02:31] But if you have a different approach to things, they just don't work, but there's tools and techniques and approaches that you can take that will work for anyone. And we help you do that in productivity for your passion. Check it out firstname.lastname@example.org slash launch. All of us serve dozens of roles at any time.
[00:02:56] These changed throughout our life, but they also ended up [00:03:00] being roles that change day to day, moment to moment, you may be a spouse. You may be a husband or a wife. You may be a brother. You may be a son or a daughter. You may be a student or a teacher, or you may have a certain career or profession or job role.
[00:03:21] You may actually be someone who at some point in time is serving as a partner, a friend, all of these things are roles that we serve a grandparent or a grandchild, an athlete an actor, a writer. A coach, a friend, all of these things are roles that we take on that change from time to time. They don't have to be things that were paid for.
[00:03:48] They don't have to be things that are just the job that we have, but they can be all of those areas that we play out in life. If you think about it for a minute, you can sit [00:04:00] down and you could begin to generate a list of all of the roles that you play in a given week or in a given month or in a given year.
[00:04:08] Like me, I'm a father, I'm also a son. I'm also a husband. I also serve as a godparent to my goddaughters and a substitute father to my adopted daughter. I serve out all of these different roles. I'm a brother to my sister. I'm also someone that takes on roles at my church. All of these are things above and beyond just my day-to-day job.
[00:04:35] And that list can get pretty long for me. When I've sat down and listed this, I easily get over 25 roles that I serve in a given year. If you think about the responsibilities that you have, your list is probably similar. It's a lot longer than we usually think about. And the truth is this is one of those areas where struggle comes up for us [00:05:00] because we want to do all of those roles.
[00:05:04]Yes, you have different levels of energy that you'll put into different roles in your life. You may spend a little bit more time and energy trying to be a good husband or wife or parent, or maybe at your day job. Then you would in some sort of extra thing that you're doing, that's just off on the side and you don't do it very often and that's fine.
[00:05:28] There's nothing wrong with that. But then there's roles where you have competing desires to do well. Like being a husband. Being a father and also being a coach and being there for my clients. There's a tension between my job and my role at work and my role in my family that creates a little bit of stress and strain at times.
[00:05:54] And you have similar roles where you want to Excel equally at both of them. So [00:06:00] there's of that list of 25 there's easily. 1518, maybe even 20 of them. That, honestly, it's not that I don't care about them and it's not that they're not important, but they would be easily let go of if one of these top five roles took precedence.
[00:06:17]If one of the things came up in this top five list, I'd easily let go of the 20. The problem becomes when two or three of the things in the top five list begin to have competing needs for my time when that happens, I'm stressed out. Think about it. Does that happen to you? Do you have perhaps a call on your time to be a good parent and also a call on your time that involves working?
[00:06:45] And do you feel the tension between those two. If that's happened to you before those struggles that happen around balancing our most important roles, I need to let you know that's normal, but there's some [00:07:00] interesting things you can do to help. Balance that a little bit. The first thing is recognizing that balance does not mean equal.
[00:07:08] It doesn't mean you're going to spend all equal amounts of time on these top five roles are so that you have it instead means you need to come up with two things. One is a time of day or prioritization chart based on time and energy. Where are you going to give time and energy to each of these top five roles that you've decided are the most important?
[00:07:34] Is it that maybe for instance, if you've got a side hustle that you're trying to pour some energy into, maybe you get up really early or you stay up late and you do that in the margins of your life. So you don't steal time from your wife or your kids or your day job. You have to think about the ebb and flow of these things.
[00:07:52] Maybe you communicate to your spouse for the next week or so. You're really going to be focused on a particular task. [00:08:00] It's going to take time away from them, but then after that week is over, you're going to go back and spend some extra time with them to balance it out. Part of that is communicating it.
[00:08:11] And part of that is actually doing it as part of this prioritization too. You literally need to stop and think which of these things is the most important to me. The five things are even the 25 roles that you have need to be rank ordered in some way. You need to know if my wife comes and demands time.
[00:08:35] Does that Trump your day job time or not? Does that mean that you would drop your day job to go take care of your family? This isn't a values question in terms of, if you do it one way or the other way, it makes you a good or bad person, but you need to know what you truly would do and make that decision ahead of time so that you don't have to feel guilty when you [00:09:00] actually execute on that decision.
[00:09:02] See the guilt comes in when you say, Hey, I'm going to drop everything for my family. And then you feel like you don't actually follow through on that, that dichotomy between what you say you're going to do and what you actually do creates more stress. So create a priority list of your roles, which role tops, all the others, the things that you would give up, everything else that you do to make sure that relationship or that role is fulfilled.
[00:09:32]And then what comes second? What comes third? What comes forth? What comes fifth? And as you begin to do this, it gets a lot easier to make decisions about where you will put your time and energy, because now all of a sudden, if you've said spending time with your family is number one, that role of being the father or being the spouse is number one.
[00:09:52] And number two. Then when work calls, whenever you've got a family event, you can without guilt say, I'm [00:10:00] sorry, I've already got a commitment for that time. There may be consequences to that, but it doesn't matter. You're doing what is authentic to you, and that will make you be more integrity, more having the life that you actually want.
[00:10:18] This allows you to balance that stress and the struggle and the strain around all of the roles that we have. Thanks for listening.
[00:10:33] thanks so much for listening to the inspired stewardship podcast as a subscriber and listener, we challenge you to not just sit back and passively. Listen. But act on what you've heard and find a way to live your calling. If you enjoyed this episode please do us a favor. Go over to inspired [00:11:00] stewardship.com/itunes rate.
[00:11:00] All one word. ITunes rate, it'll take you through how to leave a rating and review and how to make sure you're subscribed to the podcast so that you can get every episode as it comes out in your feed until next time, invest your time, your talent and your treasures. Develop your influence and impact the world.
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We are all actors playing different roles in different phases of life. But we must try to play each role to perfection! ― Avijeet Das