SNS 178: Saturday Night Special - Interview with the Awesome Life Coach for Women Tabatha Perry

[00:00:00] Scott Maderer: To tonight's Saturday night special episode 178,

[00:00:05] Tabatha Perry: I'm Tabba Perry, and I challenge you to invest in yourself, invest in others, develop your influence and impact the world by using your time, your talent, and your treasures to live out your calling. Having the ability to live your authentic and purposeful life.

[00:00:20] It's key. And one way to be inspired to do that is to listen to this The Inspired Stewardship Podcast with my friend Scott.

[00:00:36] Yeah. So it really had everything to do with my heart, which that's what it always comes down to, is that God wants our hearts to be softened and open. And so working in the justice system, I had a very hard heart. I was very good at boundaries. I was good at protecting. Like it was, that was also out of necessity.

[00:00:57] Scott Maderer: Welcome and thank you for joining us on the [00:01:00] Inspired Stewardship Podcast. If you truly desire to become the person who God wants you to be, then you must learn to use your time, your talent, and your treasures for your true calling In the Inspired Stewardship Podcast, who will learn to invest in yourself, invest in others, and develop your influence so that you can impact the world.

[00:01:30] In tonight's Saturday Night special, I interview Tabitha Perry. I asked Tabitha to share with you her faith journey and how it brought her to this point of being a life coach. Tabitha also shares with you how you are likely sabotaging your own success, and I also asked Tabitha to share how you can create order in your life when things are chaotic.

[00:01:51] One reason I like to bring you great interviews, like the one you're gonna hear today is because of the. In learning from others. [00:02:00] Another great way to learn from others is through reading books. But if you're like most people today, you find it hard to find the time to sit down and read. And that's why today's podcast is brought to you by Audible.

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[00:02:40] Tabitha Perry is the ultimate go-to for women that are the non nine to fivers. She encourages and equips women that are wanting less chaos and to get their daily life on track with over 15 years of experience in the criminal justice. 20 plus moves under her belt. She has a master's in social work.

[00:02:59] [00:03:00] She's a girl mom, a wifey, and a life coach. She's got advice that will make any day less stressful for the woman juggling mini balls in the air as a professional overthinker. She's learned how to simplify her day and loves helping women create simple and small edits in their daily life so that they step into their fullest.

[00:03:18] God-given potential. Welcome to the show, Tabitha.

[00:03:22] Tabatha Perry: Thank you so much, Scott.

[00:03:24] Scott Maderer: It's great to have you here today. So I talked a little bit in the intro about some of your journey and how you're now working as a coach and all of these sorts of things. But what kind of brought you through working in criminal justice and these things to now being a coach who helps others live out their

[00:03:46] Tabatha Perry: potential?

[00:03:47] Yeah. It definitely has been a journey. And really it was out of necessity, if I'm gonna be honest. Okay. So I started out my career in the criminal justice system cuz I, I love helping [00:04:00] people realize who they are and that does not mean that what they've done determines that. So the justice system is a great place to do that.

[00:04:09] And so as I developed in my. my career as well as my personal life. I decided that I wanted to stay home with my children, right? So that meant that I needed to give up going to prison , and be able to where you, okay Mom, I've going off to

[00:04:28] prison. . Yes. Yes. There was some interesting questions I had from teachers of your daughter said that you went to prison last week.

[00:04:36] I'm like, that is accurate. But I was released .

[00:04:41] Scott Maderer: Yes. And so read as a school teacher, I get used to I can attest to the fact that you get interesting things from kids that you're like okay. There's a story here. Let me go dig into it a little bit. ,

[00:04:52] Tabatha Perry: I can only imagine as a teacher the things that you hear, right?

[00:04:56] The unfiltered mouths of children is [00:05:00] incredible .

[00:05:01] Scott Maderer: So you wanted to. Change and pivot to spend more time with your kids and

[00:05:06] Tabatha Perry: Yes, I did. And so I I knew that I still wanted to work, but I didn't know in what capacity. So it was really several years and several moves. I was born and raised in Alaska.

[00:05:18] But moved to Texas and had just had my second daughter. I knew that I was done having children and so I was like, what am I gonna do? How am I going to still continue helping people but also be available for my husband who's has a very successful career. And we host a lot and we do a lot of things as well as my active children.

[00:05:38] And I had actually had an. interactions with coaches before, and I didn't like them. I at all, I had gotten my master's in social work, I'd been a counselor. I'd worked really hard to get to where I was. And then to think that there was these coaches who weren't certified right, and they could just go and help people.

[00:05:57] It turns out God definitely [00:06:00] softens our heart over time, and that was exactly the route I needed to go in order to be able. To work with women who were struggling with who they were and that were wanting to figure out how to step into their fullest potential by helping them through the story that I had as well.

[00:06:17] And so I, again, I didn't see myself going into an office at all. I wanted to create a business. My grandfather had been a business owner and I was always told don't ever go into business for yourself. It's the most stressful thing you'll do. So unfortunately, I took on that mentality and still fight that limiting belief.

[00:06:36] But it provides so much opportunity for me to be able to set my time of when I work and then my time for my family and create the life that I truly want.

[00:06:45] Scott Maderer: Yeah, the biggest problem with being in business for yourself is your boss is a real. .

[00:06:49] Tabatha Perry: She is hard. She is very

[00:06:51] Scott Maderer: hard. . That's why I tell everybody, I, I'm like, yeah I'm sorry I couldn't come.

[00:06:56] My boss wouldn't gimme the day off. And they're like, don't you work for yourself? [00:07:00] I'm like, yeah, . But exactly. It ha but it does it. Being in business for yourself can be really challenging to balance because to some extent it's the, yes, you have freedom. , you also, it, it all depends on you at the end of the day too.

[00:07:17] So you've got that kind of weird dichotomy going on all the time. So let's back up a little bit. What, as you went through this journey, how did your faith journey and your faith message adapt and evolve as you went through this entire transition from what you were doing before to what you're doing?

[00:07:39] Tabatha Perry: Yeah. So it really had everything to do with my heart, which that's what always comes down to is that God wants our hearts to be softened and open. And so working in the justice system, I had a very hard heart. I was very good at boundaries. I was good at protecting myself like it was.

[00:07:58] That was also out of [00:08:00] necess. But as I got out of that particular role, I had to learn to open myself up to people too, and trust people. And trust myself as well. And so just allowing God to soften my heart and be open to things I never would've been open to. So many times we set up these expectations of how our life's supposed to look, how our business is supposed to look, how relationships are supposed to look right, and we go hard.

[00:08:26] We strive, we force it, and then we're just exhausted. And I found myself exhausted a lot, and that was when I knew I was at a step that I was trying to do things in my own energy, my own agenda, instead of just being patient sitting still and waiting and being like, okay, am I supposed to take this pivot?

[00:08:44] Am I supposed to go down this road? Am I supposed to do this thing for my business? And so my faith has been so much like strengthened through this process as well as adapted my brain. To things that I never knew that I could even do. Business is [00:09:00] not even something I've been trained in, and I still have a lot to learn.

[00:09:04] And so I create a curious heart, a c curious mind, so that way I don't ever expect that I know everything about social worker, everything about counseling, but just show up wanting to learn and that allows myself so much more grace and to be able to take things more head on .

[00:09:19] Scott Maderer: A couple of things that you mentioned too you talked a little bit about.

[00:09:24] at first coaching, from your point of view, you were frustrated with it and looking at it from a, how can these people just hang up a shingle and say they're helping people? What h how do you think you've, you said your view of that has changed. What happened to make that change?

[00:09:43] Tabatha Perry: So I looked at it from the perspective of I went to school with a lot of great people who have an acronym at the end of their name now. And a lot of them aren't fantastic at what they do. And it really, a lot of the times, what makes you really good at what you do is your street smarts, your [00:10:00] curiosity, your empathy, and those are things you don't.

[00:10:04] through certification program through that. Now, granted, I love to learn. I love certifications. I think that they're great, but I don't think that is required to start a business, especially if you're a coach, because all of us have so much information and knowledge that we can share with each other, and we say it in different ways that tweak.

[00:10:23] And pique the interest of people that other people would just like gloss over. And so it's so important to know our voice and to use it. And as a coach, you just are able to filter out the people that are interested in self-development and learning and growing. Like when I got into that realm, I'm like, these are my people.

[00:10:44] This is awesome. This is so incredible. People are willing to do things outside of the. and it is very countercultural. It doesn't look like the normal way of living life. And so you really have to be confident in who you are because there's gonna be naysayers [00:11:00] and people that are like, oh, you should just do X, Y, Z.

[00:11:02] You should just go get a job. Maybe that's not your journey. Yeah. Yeah. Or you're someone like me who left a very high paying job to. Into business for myself doing the coaching that I'd been doing on the side. And everyone's like, why would you leave such a great job with all these benefits and all of this stuff?

[00:11:21] Scott Maderer: And it's because I'm never home and I'd never see my kids. And there's other things that I want out of life than just a big paycheck, if that makes sense. So you work with a lot of women on their potential and. Struggling with who they are is I think, how you put it a little earlier.

[00:11:42] What do you think you know who is your ideal client? Who is the person that you most love working with, and what are they after? .

[00:11:50] Tabatha Perry: So this has been a journey, and I'm sure for any business owner, right? You go in and you're like, I'm gonna help this person. And then you realize, oh wow. Like I need to [00:12:00] find people who can pay me number one, and that are willing to identify that they need help.

[00:12:05] So I started out wanting to work with stay-at-home moms because that was my heart. What I found with the whole business journey is that not only do you need. Like the woman, you need to help the man too. The husband, you have to get them to buy in to be able to provide because they're the ones making the money.

[00:12:23] And so it was actually very challenging. But honestly, my heart still is for those stay-at-home mamas or the hybrid. The ones that are wanting to work as well as still have that balance of being at home with their kids, helping their husband, doing a little bit of each. So many times we get stuck in this idea that you're a, like you work full-time or you're a stay-at-home parent, but we're, we live in a day and age that you can have whatever you want, you can create the life that you.

[00:12:53] So working with women who identify, yes, I need help, and that they're willing to really get uncomfortable, [00:13:00] and those are my gals, right? Those are the gals that are willing to look at their limiting beliefs, look at the life that they've created and be like, is this how I wanna continue a year from now?

[00:13:09] Will I be happy if I'm in this exact same place? And that really comes down to finding women who are strong in their faith too, relying that there's a hope, and that they they want the best for not only themselves, but for their family and for their community. .

[00:13:25] Scott Maderer: So what's the first thing you know?

[00:13:27] Let's say you've got somebody that's coming to you and they're wanting help in this. What is one thing that kind of everyone should do, or that you've seen most people need to start bringing that sense of order and development and change in a positive way to their

[00:13:44] Tabatha Perry: life? Yeah. So in order for us to like get back to who we are, we need to have that order in our life.

[00:13:50] We need to have that foundation, that consistency. So the one thing that I always encourage my clients to do and help them through is to identify a [00:14:00] morning time that they wake up and an evening time that they wake up. And it sounds so basic, right? Like I'm teaching my five. Five year old and seven year old how to do this.

[00:14:08] But there's so many adults, we miss this. And the reason why I call it book ending our day is so important is that as business owners, we have so many decisions to make. Or as a parent, as a spouse, all of the rules that we have thousands of decisions to make. What if. 20 of those decisions could be so ingrained in you that they've become a habit that you don't even have to make those decisions anymore.

[00:14:30] Therefore, you have an extra capacity of 20 extra decisions that you can use during the middle of your day. So the fact of, I don't know what time I should wake up, or your alarm goes off and you're like, I can just sleep for another 20 minutes, if every single day that you are gonna get out of bed at 5:00 AM and that you have your a couple things that you do at once you get up, you are gonna save yourself so much energy just from trying to make the decisions.

[00:14:55] Right? And the same thing for bed, if you have a certain time. Not even let you go to [00:15:00] bed. That lights out, books down, phones away, right? those lights out. Then you will find that you have more capacity and you're able to create more order cuz you have the energy to do it. Because if you're tired, you're not gonna be able to do anything.

[00:15:13] You have to start getting the sleep. Taking care of yourself is so important. So what do you think what do you see that most people are doing that's sabotaging this or derailing their.

[00:15:25] not being specific. And so as a woman I have a long nighttime routine. I'm gonna be real, right?

[00:15:31] So I'm not gonna say I'm gonna go to bed at 10 o'clock. That doesn't mean I start at 10 cuz then I wouldn't get to sleep till 11. I need to start at nine. So honestly, being like truly transparent with yourself on how long it takes you to wake up to go to bed. And so many times we just think that we should get up and go.

[00:15:51] Everything takes time. Just be aware of it and create that and put that into your margin and your routine.

[00:15:58] Scott Maderer: So [00:16:00] what are some of the things that you've seen that people put in their morning or evening routine that help set them up for. .

[00:16:04] Tabatha Perry: What sets you up for success is always starting with your evening routine because how you end your day is gonna be like, help you start your day off really well.

[00:16:14] So being able to put your phone somewhere that you're not on it late at night. As well as if that's your alarm clock, put it somewhere far away so you can't press the snooze button cuz the worst thing that you can do is press snooze. Cuz that is saying, I don't. , I'm not gonna follow through with the very first decision in my day.

[00:16:33] And when you start your day off, not having that, it really just. Derails you and how definitely weighs on your self trust. Every time that when my alarm goes off at 5:00 AM and I get up whether I want to or not, it is an amazing feeling to know that I did it. Every single day. I give myself bonus points for getting up exactly when my alarm goes off, as well as at night.

[00:16:57] Having that specific time that I'm like, I [00:17:00] know I'm turning off the lights, the phone, the book down, and I'm gonna go to sleep. That is like, .

[00:17:06] Scott Maderer: So what have you found that kind of disrupts or distracts people from getting out there and accomplishing their goals?

[00:17:12] Tabatha Perry: So the energy is very important, right?

[00:17:15] And a lot of times our energy is distracted by shiny squirrels, I like to call them. And these shiny squirrels can be internal and external. This idea. limiting beliefs like are the internal distractions. We don't really know what's holding us back and specifically this idea of, I don't have enough time.

[00:17:38] That is something that really holds people back from success in their life because they honestly believe it win. , every single person has the same amount of time. Like stewardship, stewarding our time, stewarding the energy that we put into that time is so important.

[00:17:58] Scott Maderer: What do you see within the faith [00:18:00] community, within the Christian community?

[00:18:02] What kind of specific things are keeping them from living out their potential?

[00:18:08] Tabatha Perry: Living out their potential is very vulner. because sometimes it means going against what other people think that you should do. It's inconvenient, it's hard, it's frustrating, and so many of us want comfort and being able to identify what it is that you truly want.

[00:18:30] It's really. Because it's scary cuz it's putting your heart out there and if you don't get it, then everyone sees it. And in the faith community understanding that. Who God made you is so unique and so important to really dive deep into, right? What are your beliefs? What are your values?

[00:18:49] What are your strengths? And when we don't know those, life feels a little off. , right? We've all probably been in those seasons of life [00:19:00] where things have felt really smooth and going really well, and that means that things were aligned, right? You had self-confidence. You knew what your strengths were, you knew what your values were.

[00:19:11] So many times in the faith community, we can put everything off trying to please like we put ourselves to the side as we should, and we focus on everybody else versus ourself. But God calls us to love. as we love ourselves, right? So that means we have to love ourselves and so we need to know who we are.

[00:19:31] And I, I know that I keep saying that a lot, but it's it's incredible how many people I'll talk to that they don't know what their values are. They don't know what their beliefs are. And I've been there, and even in different seasons, some of those kind of change. And so understanding the different seasons that you're in and how you evolve, how God evolves you is paramount to.

[00:19:51] To succeeding, to being able to know the gifts that you have and the strengths. So if somebody's hearing that and they're kinda like, yeah, [00:20:00] I really don't know my values or my priorities or who I am what's a tip that you would give or something that you would suggest that people think about, do start working on, to at least begin that road of identifying who they are and what their values.

[00:20:16] So in regards to the strengths, I suggest if someone isn't even sure, like one thing that they're good. Everyone can pick one thing that they're good at, right? So then go to someone that you trust and ask them, what are two things that you see? I'm really good at. , get some outside perspective.

[00:20:33] As for values, like what fires you up, what makes you so mad and like just makes you cringe and then flip it around because that's what is you're passionate about. That's something that drives you for me, justice. Obviously working in the justice system, like played very well with my values because I.

[00:20:56] I want things to be right. I want things to be balanced, and I want people to [00:21:00] be cared for. And when I see an injustice, I get fired up. And that's where I use my values to drive my business of seeing women not fully, like there's no justice in their life because they don't see who they are. They don't see what God can do in them.

[00:21:16] And so that drives me and gets me excited to be like, no, you do believe this. Like you do deserve a life that you. .

[00:21:23] Scott Maderer: So I've got a few questions that I like to ask all of my guests, but before I go there, is there anything else you'd like to share about your coaching or the work you do or anything that we've talked about so far?

[00:21:36] Tabatha Perry: Yeah, just this idea of understanding the belief system that you have. Is there anything holding you back? Is there, are there like these shiny squirrels? Are there. ideas that you need to work through that are preventing you from really living out the life that God [00:22:00] has for you. And stewarding them well.

[00:22:03] And so I just really want to press into those shiny squirrels, even though it's a silly name. We all have distractions in our life, and so we don't know. . If we don't know what distracts us, we're not gonna know how to prevent it and how to work through it. Otherwise, then we're just reacting to life.

[00:22:21] So I really encourage the listeners to identify those things in life that are distracting you from getting to where you wanna be. And then that way you can identify it and then figure out how to work through it and then move forward. And that's exactly what I do with my coaching program.

[00:22:37] Scott Maderer: Perfect. You mentioned stewardship a few times, and of course that's my brand and my name.

[00:22:42] So that's also one of those words that I've found means different things to different people. So I like to ask all of my guests, what does the word stewardship mean to you, and what has its impact been in your life?

[00:22:54] Tabatha Perry: Stewardship to me is this idea of respecting and appreciating [00:23:00] what I've been given and taking care of it in a way that it is better after I have.

[00:23:08] Used it, whatever the thing is, right? That it is better after I've used it. And so just steward God's gifts, right? Like my business, my kids, my husband the clients I have. , they are so precious to me. And so I have found that it has been so impactful because I take it very seriously and I'm all about responsibility.

[00:23:32] And so it, it aligns with my personality of wanting just to, to do what's right in God's eyes and to take care of things in a way that it deserves.

[00:23:45] Scott Maderer: So this is my favorite question. Though I've been told by a few of my guests that it's not their favorite. So we'll see how youth would like it if I invented this magic machine and I could pluck you from the chair where you are the today and transport you into the far future, maybe [00:24:00] 150, 200 years even.

[00:24:01] And through the power of this machine, you were able to look back and see all of the connections, all of the relationships, all of the impacts, all of the ripples that you've left behind in the. , what impact do you hope you've left on the world?

[00:24:16] Tabatha Perry: It's really basic. I have two girls. I want them to love Jesus, and I want them to live lives that are dependent on God and independent of the world, and that they have that I've raised them.

[00:24:34] To be the women that are even like better than I was. Like I worked so hard on myself that I help them as well as the clients, the women that I help now that their generations to come to their legacy has also improved because of me helping them figure out who they are, what they want, and how that they got it.

[00:24:55] So that is, that has been something that that legacy would be really power. .

[00:24:59] Scott Maderer: So [00:25:00] what's coming next on the roadmap as we close out 2022 and launch into 2023? What's what's on the agenda?

[00:25:06] Tabatha Perry: I love being able to help women figure out those inner desires and passions and how to get them.

[00:25:14] So I'm looking forward to, of course, those New Year's resolutions, figuring out how to actually make them stick so that way those ladies can get what they want in 2023.

[00:25:30] Scott Maderer: You can find out more about Tabitha over on Facebook, LinkedIn, or YouTube as Tabitha Perry, or you can find out all about her and her coaching and her or other services over@tabithaperry.coach. Of course, I'll have links to all of those over in the show notes. Tabitha, is there anything else you'd like to share

[00:25:48] Tabatha Perry: with the listener?

[00:25:49] Be intentional with today. Steward it well and that your time is valuable and you get to decide how you wanna spend your time.[00:26:00]

[00:26:07] Scott Maderer: Thanks so much for listening to the Inspired Stewardship Podcast. As a subscriber and listener, we challenge you to not just sit back and passively. But act on what you've heard and find a way to live your calling. If you enjoyed this episode please do us a favor. Go over to inspired stewardship.com/itunes.

[00:26:34] Rate all one word. iTunes rate. It'll take you through how to leave a rating and review, and how to make sure you're subscribed to the podcast so that you can get every episode as it comes out in your feed. Until next time, invest your time, your talent, and your treasures. Develop your influence and impact the world.[00:27:00]