SNS 134: Saturday Night Special – Interview with Lyn Barrett author of Crazy: Reclaiming Life from the Shadow of Traumatic Memory

[00:00:00] Scott Maderer: Welcome to tonight's Saturday night, special episode 134.

[00:00:06] Lyn Barrett: I'm Lynn Barrett. I challenge you to invest yourself, invest in others, develop your influence and impact the world by using your time, your talent and your treasures to live out your calling. Having the ability to live an integrated life is the key.

[00:00:27] And one way to be inspired to do that is to listen to this, the inspired stewardship podcast with my friend, Scott Mader.

[00:00:36] Reason to understand what had been going on. And I like to say it gave me something to hang my hat on. So the next 10 years of my life was going through appropriate therapy. Meeting my alters, hearing their stories. Welcome. And thank you for joining us on the [00:01:00] inspired stewardship podcast.

[00:01:02] Scott Maderer: If you truly desire to become the person who God wants you to be, then you must learn to use your time, your talent and your treasures

[00:01:10] for

[00:01:10] Scott Maderer: your true. And the inspired stewardship podcast who will learn to invest in yourself, invest in others and develop your influence so that you can impact the world.

[00:01:22] And tonight Saturday night special. I interviewed Lynn Barrett about dissociative identity disorder. I talk with her about her journey from trauma to healing. And I also talk with her about how her faith journey paralleled her healing. Now, one area that a lot of folks need some help with is around the area of productivity.

[00:01:46] Getting not just more things done, but actually getting the right things done can be really. I've got a course called productivity for your passion. That's designed [00:02:00] to help you do this and then to hold you accountable and walk with you so that you can tailor productivity, not just to be getting more done, but actually getting the right things done.

[00:02:13] What's more, we take the approach of looking at your personality and how you actually look at things in the world and tailor the productivity system to your personnel. Because the truth is a lot of the systems that are out there are written really well for somebody with a particular personality type.

[00:02:31] But if you have a different approach to things, they just don't work, but there's tools and techniques and approaches that you can take that will work for anyone. And we help you do that in productivity for your passion. Check it out over@inspiredstewardship.com slash law. Lynn is an Arthur and a facilitator of the writer's workshop in memoir classes for people with dissociative disorder.

[00:02:57] Her memoir crazy reclaiming life from [00:03:00] the shadow of traumatic memory follows her discovery of and recovery from multiple personality disorder. Now called dissociative identity disordered her free ebook did unpacked. A parable is available over on our website. She has been interviewed by public radio stations around the country and by safe communities, survivors voices series.

[00:03:22] She's a retired teacher school principal. And. Lynn was diagnosed with, did in 1992, while climbing up the career ladder after considerable therapeutic

[00:03:33] work,

[00:03:33] she now lives a happily integrated life with her husband in the Adirondacks. Welcome to the show Lynn.

[00:03:41] Lyn Barrett: Hi, Scott. Thank you for having me. I'm really glad to be here.

[00:03:45] Scott Maderer: Absolutely. So let's start here. We talked a little bit in the intro about disassociative disorder, and this is an area that you work around. Let's start there because I think [00:04:00] a lot of thoughts come into people's heads when they hear that term talk a little bit about what what is did, what is it not you know what's true and what's not true about the pictures that pop into our head.

[00:04:11] When we hear that.

[00:04:11] Lyn Barrett: That's a great question. And I'm going to start by giving a gentle correction that it's actually dissociative identity disorder, not disassociative. But that's fine because lots of people will yeah, that's right. That's right. But let's say let's start with dissociation and what is it?

[00:04:34] It is actually a very. Normal bodily psychic function that everyone uses sometimes when they are bored or maybe involved in a repetitive activity. So imagine. That you're sitting in a big lecture hall and there's a boring professor droning on and on, and you're near the [00:05:00] window and you're looking out and you see the birds flying in the trees and you see these children playing soccer on the lawn and your mind is not in the.

[00:05:09] Lecture hall, your mind is outside with the birds and the boys. And that's a form of dissociation where our our mind splits off from our body and go somewhere else. And it's normal. We also can use it when we're involved in repetitive activities. So sometimes people who do factory work and do the same thing over and over again.

[00:05:34] So somewhere else, because they're there. Because they need to keep their minds busy while they're doing some work that is fairly usual to them over and over again, dissociation can also happen in order to protect people. So it helps us separate our minds from our bodies.

[00:05:59] When [00:06:00] something bad is happening to our bodies, you will find that veterans who are coming back from war and have PTSD dissociation is one of their symptoms. And rape victims will also experience dissociation because your mind separates from your body. So you don't take the full impact of the brutality that you might be experiencing.

[00:06:27] It's a protective mechanism as well. And in in small children, a dissociation will happen when they are experiencing trauma or abuse or fear of any kind. Now what ha there are a whole variety of dissociative disorders and the associative identity disorder is at the far end of the spectrum.

[00:06:52] And. The way that happens in a small town. Is if they are experiencing chronic [00:07:00] abuse or trauma their mind separates from their body as always happens with dissociation, but eventually those separations become solidified into parts because it's happening over and over again.

[00:07:17] And so we, we have separately. Parts that carry different emotions or that carry different gifts or different weaknesses. But they get cordoned off into different parts of our brain in order to protect the child. So the child can go back out into the world. And act like everything's normal because as far as they know, everything is normal and the abuse or the emotions and other aspects are in different parts of them.

[00:07:51] It's a very functional coping strategy for the young child when they are young and when they are in the midst [00:08:00] of abuse, because you can imagine that if your caregiver or your parents. Before the person who is abusing you as someone who is significant in your life. And you're very little, you have to rely on them.

[00:08:14] You can't take care of yourself. So it is functional not to really know what they're doing so that you can go back on and rely on them. For other things, it becomes dysfunctional as we grow up. And particularly as the abuse ends and as we move into other aspects of our life, we still have minds that are in parts, but we don't know it.

[00:08:41] And so those parts of us can cause some great angsty and difficulty in maneuvering the world. But. Pretty much what dissociative identity disorder is. Here are a few things that it's not rare. Most people think that it is [00:09:00] a very rare for anyone to have did, but in fact, research has shown that between one and 5% of the world population has, did.

[00:09:11] Places it right next to bipolar disorder and schizophrenia in terms of it's prevalent. The second thing I want to say is that did people are rarely violent on television or the movies you might see very inaccurate portrayals. In fact, the only people that did. Tend to be violent against our themselves because they often carry suicidal ideation with another thing that it's not is a disorder where you can often see overt switches where a person is moving from one personality to the other and you can tell, and everybody knows although that does happen [00:10:00] Really the as a minority of folks who switch overtly about 95% of us are covert manifestations.

[00:10:11] Because you have to remember the disorder was created in order to hide. The abuse from everyone, from the world and from the person who's carrying it. And so our insiders, as we might call them or our altars just don't share not only with the world, but also with ourselves, we don't even know they're there in the beginning.

[00:10:35] So you're not, unless it, unless you are in an intimate relationship with someone. You're not likely to see them overtly switch. And then finally, what I want to say is that alters are a part of the person. They're not some alien force outside of the person. When we have voices inside, they are our own voices.

[00:10:57] It's not voices outside, as you might [00:11:00] find in schizophrenia alters are a part of us and the other thing. We, I like to throw in as a plug and I remind my fellow. Folks who have been diagnosed with the ID, that our altars are a part of us who saved our lives. So even when they are kicking up a little trouble for us that we we try to remember that, that they saved our lives and they're really just hurt children.

[00:11:27] So I hope that answers your question.

[00:11:30] Scott Maderer: And I think a couple of things that I want to call out the first office that this is not schizophrenia. Those are. Two different illnesses to different syndromes, to different things that show up in people's lives. They're not they're not the same.

[00:11:45] They're not treated the same. Cause I've heard that a lot where people will say. There are schizophrenia. They have more than one personality and it's wait, those are actually equivalent statements. There are different things. And then the other, I think that [00:12:00] again, that despite what movies may present, it's not usually as overt as people would see in the films where it makes it, the person acts looks sounds Completely different because there's a new personality taking over kind of thing.

[00:12:20] It's this almost alien personality taking over. It's much more subtle than that. I think that's important to realize.

[00:12:28] Lyn Barrett: Ah, thank you. Yeah. I think most people with did suffer in silence. And they To anyone of your listeners who may have, did I want to say that in, in saying what I've said does not in any way, take away the reality of your different parts because they are real within ourselves.

[00:12:51] But we're very careful about sharing it. I'm 74 years old and I am just coming out now. [00:13:00] Most people with the ID. Are really afraid to let the world know because there are so many misconceptions about it and a lot of stigma.

[00:13:10] Scott Maderer: Yeah. And again psychological concerns are always, at least in our culture here and I think fairly universally not treated with the same.

[00:13:22] Kindness for lack of a better word. I was trying to think of a different way of saying it, but it is kindness as a physical manifestation would be if somebody has a broken leg or is in a wheelchair. Yes. There's. I'm not saying that they're not there's not bias or mistreatment or any of that.

[00:13:40] There is, but in a way it's different. Then it is whenever it's whether it's depression, whether it's schizophrenia, whether it's did when it's a mental manifestation somehow or another people almost take the approach of if it's mental it's your fault. When. You are in a wheelchair, they don't look at it.

[00:13:59] It's [00:14:00] your fault.

[00:14:00] So that you mentioned you're 74 and you're just now reaching a point of being able to talk about it. And of course you've got the book and those things as well, but tell us a little bit more about your story. I wanted to start first with laying the groundwork, because I think again, that mental picture pops in our head and I'd wanted to make sure folks weren't there, but.

[00:14:22] When did you learn that did was something that you were dealing with? Where did you, how did this actually affect you? Thanks for asking that. Yeah. I I want to say that I did not know I had did. I was a very extremely shy little girl and afraid of other people. And I, in adolescence, I thought I was totally defective.

[00:14:46] Lyn Barrett: Of course, many adolescents feel that way that's related to the. Normal adolescents. I don't know. But anyway I did, I was terrified of boys and really had almost no [00:15:00] relationship with boys or dating, but somehow I did manage to find myself a husband and we created a good life, or at least we thought we did.

[00:15:11] And and we had four wonderful children. So I liked. Divide this 20 year period of my life into two parts. The first part was my decompensation where I where all of this happiness that I had created in my family disappeared. And this was in my mid forties. And I can only say my, my, my alters were there.

[00:15:43] And when I look back, I can realize that in different situations that they were taking charge of this issue or that issue. But I didn't know that I just thought that was who I was. I, and I thought [00:16:00] eventually that I was going crazy. And I want to step in there now and clarify the name of my book, which is crazy.

[00:16:08] I was not crazy. I felt crazy. And I believe that people with tid are not crazy, but often we feel crazy because we don't know what's going on in that first 10 years of my life. When I was decompensating, I had no idea what was going on. So some of my symptoms were that I didn't feel like I was me. My surroundings and my circumstances seemed unreal.

[00:16:36] I often felt like I was walking around in a fog and I couldn't touch anything real my emotions and my thinking didn't match. I had. Multiple strands of thought going on in my head at one time. I couldn't remember my childhood. I had body pain everywhere, and sometimes it was so bad. I would just crawl up into a [00:17:00] fetal position in bed.

[00:17:01] I had suicidal ideation almost all the time and here's. All this was happening. I was also going off to work and teaching and doing a great job. I was I was a great teacher. I helped to start a Quaker school. And I eventually became the first full-time head of that school. Later I went into public school teaching and taught at two different schools.

[00:17:27] I became a principal to school. My professional life was working really well. My personal life was falling apart. I would say there was, this was happening gradually over that 10-year period, but then there was a crisis in the family that, that ended in divorce and that accelerated the decompensation process.

[00:17:52] So then it became. Faster and harder to cope with. I actually attempted suicide once. And then [00:18:00] two years later I went into, I checked myself into a psychiatric hospital. And so this was all very devastating and it would take a long time to tell you all the impacts of that. So when I came out of the hospital I was not diagnosed.

[00:18:19] I did not know I had did but I was stabilized. And so I changed jobs that I thought would be less stressful. And I found a new therapist in the new community that I was living in. She turned out to be a trauma informed therapist and a year later she affirmed. My multiplicity at that time, it was called multiple personality disorder, but I didn't believe her.

[00:18:49] And so I went to a psychiatrist who then evaluated me and confirmed her diagnosis. So that. Solve any [00:19:00] problems, but it did at least give me a reason to understand what had been going on. And I like to say it gave me something to hang my hat on. So the next 10 years of my life was going through appropriate therapy meeting my alters, hearing their stories.

[00:19:23] Introducing them to each other. So they got to know each other so that all of me who was conscious of all the rest of me we call that lowering the amnesia barriers. And then working on the St. The trust relationship. Th the trust issues relationship issues and triggers that people who have been abused have to deal with, even if they don't have did those are main issues that we have to address.

[00:19:57] And so then at [00:20:00] the end of that period of time, although. Necessarily a stated goal. My goal was to become whole again and to not feel crazy anymore and to feel sane and to have relation intimate relationships with people, that's really what my goal was. And so towards the end of that period my altars spontaneously integrated and they trusted me To handle life.

[00:20:29] They didn't trust me before because I was in such a a dire state, but they did trust me then. And they, according to the theory of structural dissociation my brain is still wired the same way it was when I was a small child, so much. My altars are still there and every now and then one of them will come out and sh and express a deep emotion or an opinion that I wasn't taking into [00:21:00] consideration.

[00:21:00] But then they go back into the folds and neurons of my brain and let me handle it. And I, so I I want to make the comment that, that when we have, did we always have it, even if we're integrated some of our some folks with did heal all of the symptoms of abuse and have all their altars.

[00:21:30] Communicating collaboratively with one another and choose to remain multiple. And that's a valid choice. In my case, my ulcers really wanted to give it back to me and let me be the front person. So I don't know if I've, if I applied maybe given too much information there, but I wanted to explain that how.

[00:21:53] So it was two years, 10 years, two, two segments, one was falling apart and the other was putting myself back together

[00:21:59] Scott Maderer: together. [00:22:00] Yeah. Yeah. It's something came into my head that as you were talking and not at all, trying to make light of the situation but two, two thoughts came into my head and I want to get your insight into them.

[00:22:15] One is. Again, trauma was a source and a trigger of this. And I think it's important to recognize that we all have different reactions to trauma. It's not a good or bad, not a right or wrong not a one person is stronger, weak. It's just, it's different because we're all different, so our responses are going to be different, not just by age. What what kind of trauma, but also just the way we respond. So what what makes this different? If you can speak to that from other kinds of trauma responses is what I'm getting at.

[00:22:57] Lyn Barrett: That's a really interesting question, [00:23:00] Scott, and I'm not a trained therapist, nor am I a traumatic memory researcher.

[00:23:06] So I

[00:23:07] Scott Maderer: know what a punch you on the spot. Feel free to go. I don't know. I don't know. It's a good answer just somebody who's dealt with

[00:23:13] Lyn Barrett: it. Yeah, I really don't. I don't know that I can actually answer why. Do some people develop did. And some people not. I can say that did is a response to chronic trauma.

[00:23:28] And so it may have to do with the frequency of the trauma or abuse. And it may simply be the way that particular person's mind responded the reality is I think that we. Have parts that you don't have to experience trauma to have a part of you that really loves to socialize in another part of you that can't wait to get away and just spend a little time [00:24:00] alone, and I, and there are bodies of knowledge out there that I'm not fully familiar with that address, that kind of multiplicity in people that is not related to to trauma. But there's lots of I would guess that everyone who experienced trauma as a child experiences, some level of dissociation because that is the body's natural response.

[00:24:25] However for whatever reasons their body did not go to that point where they actually solidified their trauma into different parts and maybe it had to do with their body. It also may have had to do with the environment. Maybe there was some. Someone or something in the environment where they could get comfort from.

[00:24:49] And that, that enabled them to not go that far. So I honestly can't answer your question as well as you'd probably like me [00:25:00] to, but that's my stab at.

[00:25:01] Scott Maderer: Probably as good an answer as I actually expected. Cause I don't think it's clear. I don't think there's a, I have a feeling, even if I had a specialist on that they would not be able to give you a real definitive.

[00:25:15] We know this is what happens cause trauma is still an area that in general is not fully understood. And I, you touched on something that was the second thought that I wanted to see what your insights were, which is I think. Yeah, there's a degree to which we all do this at some level in terms of, I think we all have those conversations in our own.

[00:25:37] At some level between different parts of ourselves that respond differently are even just were put in. I think at work we have one that we put on and then you come home and there's a different face that you put on and even just different roles within the household how so is it really more of a [00:26:00] continuum where at some point as it gets solidified and becomes more.

[00:26:05] From, for lack of a better word, that's where it's DIY did, and then we maybe do you know, what's your insight into that?

[00:26:14] Lyn Barrett: I think that the DSM the diagnostic and statistical manual for psychiatric conditions requires that with to have a diagnosis of did that, there has to be.

[00:26:30] Some amnesia components. And so we think if we remember how we're behaving throughout all of this and remember all of our life and our childhood and all of that, it's probably.

[00:26:43] That's right. It's probably not. And remember all of those other symptoms that come with it is had, there is the dissociation, which let me get more specific with that.

[00:26:57] We call it [00:27:00] depersonalization and derealization where we experience. Surroundings as unreal and we experience ourselves or the people we're relating to as unreal. Or for instance, I ha I loved my children more than life itself. And one of the most heartbreaking. Symptoms that I had was they would be in front of me and I knew in my brain how much I loved them, but I couldn't feel that love.

[00:27:28] And sometimes I'd even look at them and think, are these my children? How did I get here? What happened? In, in it later, I discovered that the part of me who mothered them. Had disappeared because of the danger she was experiencing in the household. So you have other there, there are other symptoms that go along with having parts in your mind.

[00:27:52] And so you have to remember those kinds of things too. When you're thinking about diagnosis, Okay.

[00:27:59] Scott Maderer: So of [00:28:00] course the memoir is focused on this did journey, but you also shared that there was a faith component to this journey as well. Can you expand on that a little bit as, and talk about that?

[00:28:16] Sure.

[00:28:18] Lyn Barrett: So I was raised to be an atheist and I was a good little girl. So I did what I was supposed to do. My, my father said that people who believe in God are either stupid or weak and of course, Didn't want to be stupid or weekend when we're little, our parents are like God to us. I just believed what my parents believed, which was that there was no God.

[00:28:45] And but I, but at the same time, I want to say from a very young age, I want to say from this earliest, I can remember anything which may be as kindergarten. I just had this yearning for Scott [00:29:00] yearning for something. But I did believe in God because we did believe in it and I wasn't stupid or weak if it was a long story, Scott, and I don't think you want me to tell the whole story, but I can share some parts that my healing journey Which in my mind is full and complete was concurrent with my movement towards faith.

[00:29:26] And I, I did I little things like attending the central Moravian church, Christmas light vigil, I would go to it and there would, and I didn't believe in God, but I discovered I believed in the light because the light. That we held in the candles that we lifted up. It was so powerful for me and it just cut through me in, into a very deep place, in a wonderful way.

[00:29:57] So I didn't believe in God, but I believed [00:30:00] in the light. I didn't believe in God, but I believed in life. I was hired by. Parents distort a Quaker school. And I told them before they hired me, I confess that I didn't believe in God, because I could tell they were going to offer me the job. And they said, that's okay.

[00:30:18] We know that you have the spirit that we need for our children. And so every day I would tell the children there's that of God. And every one of you, which is the only Quaker tenant. And I could say it without I thought I'm not flying when I say. Saying the truth I, early on I started praying God, give me strength and wisdom.

[00:30:40] God gave me strength and wisdom over and over again on, I didn't believe in God and I didn't expect any answer. I was just praying because the prayer itself helped keep me alive. And a year later I looked back and I. Oh, I'm getting a little stronger and I feel a little [00:31:00] smarter about everything. Maybe somebody is answering my question so little things like this happened throughout my decompensation and my reconstruction.

[00:31:14] And it was right about the time. It was not long after I had what most people would call, Hey, conversion experience. I don't consider it that I, I consider it receiving the faith. I always had that I always had this faith that I had a wall that was built up around receiving it. But anyway, I had this experience and then it was not long after that, that I went into the hospital and then I came out and started to get the appropriate therapy and was diagnosed and started moving upwards.

[00:31:45] So my acceptance of of God was I think pivotal in my ability to move forward. My, my belief in [00:32:00] Jesus came a little more slowly. Because he was a man and because I didn't trust men a real well at that point, but he was very accepting of that and very patient and kind. I did eventually Go on to, I left my position as the principal in a 550 student public school to go to seminary and had no idea what I do with that.

[00:32:29] I just knew, I knew. To know more about this faith thing that I was that was leading me forward. And I became ordained and have prior to retirement have fled to different churches, one in Pennsylvania and one in in Connecticut. And I. It became a spiritual, a certified spiritual director.

[00:32:52] And today I feel like God has led me into this ministry with people with this set of [00:33:00] disorders. I don't, maybe I can talk about that later or if Yeah. That's got, God has led me every step of the way and I can look back when I was an atheist and I know that God was leading me then too.

[00:33:13] So God doesn't give up on us and God never gave up on me.

[00:33:18] Scott Maderer: You mentioned. You're the ministry work that you're doing now. And yes, we will talk about a little bit about that, but talk a little bit about what life is like now, as you've moved through the faith journey and moved through the process of therapy and getting appropriate treatment and healing and all of these things what is it like?

[00:33:39] And you talked a little bit about it earlier, when you said still occasionally the. You'll get the alter that will pop up and speak to something or bring up a, an emotional concern. What is it like to be. To be where you are today. Wow.

[00:33:54] Lyn Barrett: If I divide my adult life into threes, instead of twos, there was the [00:34:00] decompensation.

[00:34:00] Then there was the reconstruction and then there's the life post-integration and life post integration wasn't immediately perfect too, because you still have to learn how to maneuver life. What I had. The skills to be able to do that. And I am happier than I ever imagined I could be. I didn't even know what happiness was during those 20 years.

[00:34:24] But it's been 20 years since integration. I've actually married twice. My first husband was a wonderful man and he died four days before our first anniversary, which was tragic. But I was at a point. Then where I could say that grief is great, but the gratitude is greater. And he gave me so much in, I know I gave him so much and so I feel like we were meant to be together.

[00:34:49] So I kept going on and it was another five years before I met my current husband. And we we have a wonderfully intimate life [00:35:00] together and we have wonderful friends and I have children across the country, grandchildren and one great grandchild. I am so grateful. I, at one point I didn't even know what gratitude was today.

[00:35:14] That's what my life is. It's gratitude. And that doesn't mean there aren't some problems here and there, but I am just so grateful. Every day is a gift. Every breath is a gift. And I'm so grateful that I was not successful at ending my life. And I say to anyone who in your audience who might occasionally consider that that You are worth it and that please keep going because you can find your way and God will lead you.

[00:35:48] And you can come to a wonderful life just like I have come to.

[00:35:53] Scott Maderer: So there are a few questions that I like to ask all of my guests, but before I go there would you like to talk a little bit about the ministry [00:36:00] work you're doing or anything else that you'd like to share with the.

[00:36:02] Lyn Barrett: Sure. The first thing I would like to say is.

[00:36:06] When I get together with other people who have, did we fear amazing commonalities? It just blows my mind. Some of the experiences that we share at the same time, our stories are very different. So when I share my story, it doesn't mean it's going to be the same story that someone else with did has. And I just think that's really important.

[00:36:33] Since I'm publishing a memoir, that people be aware that this is my story and other people's stories will be different. Yeah, I would love to talk just a minute about what I've been doing for the last year that has been awesome. And that has been to meet with people who have dissociative disorders online once every other week.

[00:36:58] In writer's workshop [00:37:00] this is free and it is a an opportunity to get together and share your writing with others who understand at least a little bit of what your experience has been who won't be shocked and who you, where you can write honestly, and receive support and feedback on your writing.

[00:37:20] I, And I'm really excited about this. First of all, these folks I thought I was doing them a favor they're doing me a favor, they're they? They, and that's the way ministry always is. Isn't it it's ministry, if you come away feeling that way, because it is so awesome to watch how they have grown in trust.

[00:37:39] Trusting me trusting the other people in the groups and trusting themselves to be able to share this and some of them are writing their memoirs. Some of them write poetry some of our shared journal writing. And so it's just it's an amazing experience for them and for me and if in, in their [00:38:00] open although you have to register for them.

[00:38:02] People are always welcomed to to join. I have two running right at the moment and I don't know how many more I'm able to juggle, but if we get bigger, we may end up having more than

[00:38:16] Scott Maderer: that. Awesome. Yeah. So the question I like to ask all of my guests my, my brand is inspired stewardship and I talk a lot and running things through that lens of stewardship.

[00:38:27] But it's one of those words, like a lot of words that over the years I've discovered that it means different things to different people. So thinking about the word stewardship, what does that mean to you and what is that the impact of that bit on your.

[00:38:39] Lyn Barrett: I believe that stewardship means taking care of God's gifts and the first gift that God has given you is life.

[00:38:51] And so the most important. Gift that we need to take care of is ourselves. Because if [00:39:00] we don't take care of ourselves, how can we take care of the other gifts of creation that God has given to us and other people. So I just lift people up in taking care of themselves first because it always starts at home.

[00:39:21] And I also want, I also, I said earlier in the podcast you're worth it. You're worth it. So take care of yourself.

[00:39:29] Scott Maderer: So if I had this magic machine and I could grab you out of the seat where you sit today and make, bring you into the future a hundred to 150 years and magically, you were able to look back on your entire life and see all of the impact and the ripples that you've left behind.

[00:39:46] What impact do you hope you've left on the world?

[00:39:48] Lyn Barrett: I guess the core impact is low. I hope that I have left love in the world that has rippled out. I hope I've also left truth [00:40:00] and honesty that has rippled out. And I hope that there will be a More that people who have dissociative disorders no longer feel stigmatized, no longer feel afraid to share their stories.

[00:40:20] And that we have a groundswell of stories from people who. Have dissociative disorders so that my story or someone else's story is not the only story, but we begin to see the whole spectrum of stories of people who have used what is actually a brain coping strategy. To cope with horrible abuse. And then finally, and I don't think that what I'm doing will necessarily impact this at all, but I hope that maybe we will have begun to and the cycle [00:41:00] of abuse in families around the room.

[00:41:01] Scott Maderer: So what's coming next for you as you continue on this journey of living out your call and doing what you're doing to impact the world.

[00:41:11] Lyn Barrett: Ah I am of course promoting my memoir, which is available from amazon.com Barnes and noble.com and any, a good bookstore. It's crazy reclaiming life from the shadow of traumatic memory.

[00:41:29] And if anyone has an interest in this, I really encourage you to order it and read it and share it. If you know of anyone who would like to learn more about this as well. And I, I do write weekly blogs and newsletters and I will continue to do that. I will continue to that lead the writers workshops.

[00:41:56] I do have ideas for two new books. [00:42:00] Once, once I get past this one I will. Be working on a book on meditations for people for dissociative disorders. And another book that's called forgiveness. Is that the goal? And I'm actually leading a workshop on that at a conference this coming year.

[00:42:19] So I've been working on it and realizing that I think I need to write a book on it, so that's another thing that'll be coming. Thank you for asking.

[00:42:27] Scott Maderer: You can follow Lynn on Facebook as Lynn Barrett books. That's L Y N B a R E T books. She's also on LinkedIn and Instagram on LinkedIn is Lynn Barrett.

[00:42:41] And on Instagram is Lynn Barrett. Arthur, of course I'll have links to all of that over in the show notes, the best place to probably find it. More about her and what she does of course, is on our website, Lynn barrett.com land. Is there anything else that you'd like to share with the,

[00:42:57] Lyn Barrett: I think Scott, that you have asked me all the [00:43:00] right questions and you've shared all the right things.

[00:43:03] So I just send out greetings and blessings to all your listeners as they move forward with inspired stewardship as well.

[00:43:10] Scott Maderer: Thanks so much for listening to the inspired stewardship podcast as a subscriber and listener, we challenge you to not just sit back and passively listen, but act on what you've heard and find a way to live your calling. If you enjoy this episode please do us a favor. Go over to inspired stewardship.com/.

[00:43:36] ITunes rate all one word iTunes rate. It'll take you through how to leave a rating and review and how to make sure you're subscribed to the podcast so that you can get every episode as it comes out in your. Until next time, invest your time, your talent and your treasures. Develop your [00:44:00] influence and impact the world.