00:00:02 Thanks for joining me on Episode 5 26 of the Inspired Stewardship Podcast. A special rebroadcast of Episode 11 Part three of the Interview with Matt Ham. Hey, I'm at him, author of Redefined Rich and I challenge You to live richly by listening to the inspired stewardship podcast with my friend Scott Made Her humility has a way of finding you, so you better find it first. And that's an active pursuit of humility. And I think one of the things that this key here Scott, is Humility is not a position of weakness,
00:00:47 its power under restraint. Welcome and thank you for joining us on the inspired stewardship podcast. If you truly desire to become the person who God wants you to be, then you must learn to use your time, your talent and your treasures for your true calling in. The inspired storage of podcast will learn to invest in yourself, invest in others and develop your influence so that you can impact the world. Join us today is we talk with Matt Ham about humility with confidence and how humility has a way of finding you.
00:01:33 We'll talk about ways to develop reminders of humility and affecting the people around you in a positive way, through humility and more. So the fourth principal Matt talks about is humble yourself with confidence and, you know, kind of like the one before. This is another favorite of mine, So met when you think about it. I mean, the first thing that I thought of when I read it is that sounds like a contradiction, humble, confident. So how can you be both? It's It's funny because I probably historically,
00:02:09 for me, humility has been my my vice, per se and I say my advice. I mean, you know, I grew up playing sports, and so I was always, you know, on the field, in the spotlight and all that kind of stuff and just I mean, you know, being and say I just I have Humility was always the thing that felt like a weak thing to me, you know? It was like I had to be confident, right? I'm it. I'm at bat,
00:02:32 right? My team's counting on me. I gotta be confident, you know, And and so what? I'm what I'm getting at us for me in my life, kind of the confidence piece was something that I knew was important because I saw that confidence was what led to Ah lot of my success is this belief in my abilities, this belief in my skill set and this belief and in those things. But the problem is, is that confidence without humility is arrogance. And that's something that probably I struggled with for ah,
00:03:00 lot of my life. I mean, I think a lot of people who knew me and high score college has guys area. Um and the reason is because that humility piece has to be there. And so for me, learning humility and confidence was key because humility is understanding. Like, Listen, knucklehead, who gave you those gifts and talents and skills, right? And And this this this, this understanding that God has given each of us great abilities and talents. And he's given us a story, and our story matters incredibly.
00:03:30 But at the same time, everybody else has a story that matters as well. And for me in this journey, that's where this kind of took a little bit of Ah ah, the path changed. I had written this part about humble yourself with confidence, and I'd written all these other pieces. And and I was like, I've got a book, you know, I've got a book. Oh, my gosh. I've got a book and get ready to publish his book. And I didn't really have an ending.
00:03:52 I kind of had an ending, but it didn't have didn't really fit and didn't really feel right. And so I kind of sat on the book for a while and, um, you know, was really wrestling with these principles and trying to live him out my own life. And and then something happened. That really changed my whole perspective. And in the summer of 2014 in the midst of finishing this whole project, I was diagnosed with level three spreading malignant melanoma, a very aggressive form of skin cancer.
00:04:22 And it's ah, tumor that was on the skin. And it was kind of going after my lymph nodes. And, um, in my story, which is, you know, blessing because not many I mean again, that's a very ugly form, a very aggressive form of cancer. And many other people just don't find it in time. And by the grace of God, we did and called it within a couple of millimetres fractional millimeters of having to get, you know, chemo and radiation holds things.
00:04:52 And it was an eye opening thing, because when you realize that cancer is is kind of actively in your body and it's going in, its primary objective is to shut you down. It for me, it was You know, Matt, it's easy to write about these principles. Are you gonna live him even in the midst of a cancer diagnosis, right. Are you gonna choose gratitude? Are you gonna be generous with your story? You clearly recognize your broken right. How are you gonna heal? You know,
00:05:23 And you know that confidence. You talk about it, Here's the humility piece. And so the way I the way I phrase in the book, is that humility, humility has a way of finding you. So you better find it first. And and that's an active pursuit of humility. And I think one of the things that's its key here, Scott, is that humility is not a position of weakness, its power under strength. It's understanding where your your strength comes from, and it's and it's really and truly emulating Jesus.
00:05:52 I mean, that is the most humble human being has ever walked the face of the earth. And he gives us countless examples of how to be humble. And that's our example that we need to live by. Yeah, I know that you're all recovered now, though. From the Yeah, Yeah, yeah, we are me. And where I don't wanna leave that there with,
00:06:13 You know, man, I I'm sorry. I always tell that story and forget the beautiful blessing that,
00:06:19 um, it Yeah, we're cancer free. Um, you know, and a same time, You know,
00:06:26 there's always this this temptation or this this struggle that says, What if it comes back, it comes back.
00:06:30 What if it comes back? It comes back, and it's always there. And and I think you know where where I've come to the point.
00:06:36 Why forget so often? To say I'm cancer free is because I have to be reminded right now that makes sense.
00:06:42 That makes sense. Because it's still there in one way, It's still there in your mind. Absolutely.
00:06:49 So when you think about this, are are there ways that ah, you know, uh, other than having something like that happened?
00:06:57 Yeah. I mean, are there ways that we can develop a reminders of humility in our own lives.
00:07:02 Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I think that, um you know, humility for me is putting myself in a position to see something bigger than myself.
00:07:13 Um, putting myself in a position to see something bigger than myself. What I mean by that is go watch the sunrise on the ocean.
00:07:24 Yeah, um, go lay out underneath the stars of the dark of night, you know, because I last weird.
00:07:31 You don't go out there and stare this guy, but that's honestly, I mean, lay on your back and look at the stars and understand that they are thousands and hundreds of thousands and millions of miles away.
00:07:44 And you're seeing them with your eyes. Light reflects from I mean, it's just it is. It's all inspiring in.
00:07:51 It's in. It's humbling that you are a part of this big, beautiful creation, right? Your tiny you're a speck.
00:07:59 But at the same time, you could have incredible impact on the people around you. And that's where that humility and confidence begins to dance.
00:08:06 And you're like, Oh, man, this is this is beautiful. And so for me, you know,
00:08:13 humbling myself is an active process of pursuing the Lord. Um, it's a daily process of journaling, of scripture reading,
00:08:22 praying of putting myself in a position to kind of just revel in this Majesty. Um, it's being present in the moment each and every day with my Children learning toe have that kind of child,
00:08:35 like, you know, all and wonder at life. Sometime around 25 or 35 We get jaded. And we like that,
00:08:42 you know, we've seen it, you know, and your kids like dad. And do you see that bird?
00:08:50 The bird is, you know, whatever. And you just go by, you know, just business is buzzing by and you don't take time to pause.
00:08:57 And so I think living in the present, um, seeing something is bigger than yourself. Um, and and and then lastly,
00:09:07 ISS is serving others. Um, I think serving others is a position of humility. I think Jesus gives us the greatest picture of this the night before.
00:09:14 He's crucified, he washes their feet. And I think that we have to embrace that in our lives.
00:09:25 Absolutely. Absolutely. So, Matt, putting all these ideas together recognize your broken vest in others choose gratitude.
00:09:37 Humble yourself with confidence. I mean, if you live these out, these have to affect not only you,
00:09:43 but the other people around you. And I think everyone struggles with learning to influence others without, you know,
00:09:52 manipulating them without you use your powers for good, not evil, so to speak. Sure. You know,
00:09:57 how can these principles be used to influence the people around you In a good way? Yeah. I mean,
00:10:06 at the end of the day, I believe that a leader goes ahead and and blaze is a path.
00:10:17 You know, I think too often were like looking behind us and saying, Hey, is he might follow me yet?
00:10:21 Hey, is anybody there? Is anybody following me yet? When somebody gets here, we'll go right.
00:10:27 And I think that the true leader just goes. He just has a conviction deep in his heart and says,
00:10:34 This is what God called me to do. I'm going. I'm going, you know. And then he goes,
00:10:40 and it's like it's like David and Goliath, right? And being taunted by, you know, Goliath in these these Ah,
00:10:50 this is supposing Army and and David walks up and this A d gotta put on this armor, you know.
00:10:59 And David tries a home, The king's armor, and it's clunky. Right means it solves this tall,
00:11:05 you know, grown king. And here's a 15 year old gal. This clunky armor on David throws an arm or office starts running.
00:11:13 So it says he started running for the front line. He started running for Goliath. God, it's a beautiful picture.
00:11:22 He throws off the armor he trusts in the father, and he started running to the front line. Thinker has a stone,
00:11:28 and he said, He says to go as he says, You know Oh my God, no, you're not gonna talk.
00:11:34 My God, my guy will fight for me and boom, he lays the giant down and and that is our lives,
00:11:41 Scott, that's our lives. You know. We need to run to the front line to do God's work,
00:11:46 to make his name great, to quit worrying about the armor, to quit worrying about who's following to quit worrying about that kind of stuff.
00:11:52 We got to do the things that he said to do, and we got to go doom in confidence,
00:11:57 understanding. He's right there with us. And that is, uh, that's that's to me. What?
00:12:03 What? This what influence is about? It's about having the conviction to follow God and not worrying about his phone.
00:12:10 Yeah, well, now I I I've read the book and I've seen your vlog. And and I know you've got an awesome story about being a Nen fluency or in your community.
00:12:22 Can can you tell us a little bit about bowtie Fridays? He have boats at Friday's. Both have Fridays is funny,
00:12:29 Scott. It started out as a dare there being an insurance business. I came into office on Friday and I was in a suit.
00:12:35 Everybody else was in golf shirts, and I was kind of like, What did I miss the memo here?
00:12:40 You know, they say, Yeah, we do casual Friday and I was like, Man, everybody does casual Friday.
00:12:44 We need to do something different. That was different. I said, formal Friday and there, Once formal Friday,
00:12:49 I was like, Let's wear bow ties and they get you will not wear a bow tie. Well,
00:12:54 that was seven years ago, and every Friday I've worn a bow tie. Since then, eso I wear a bow tie on Fridays as a way to kind of fight the system initially.
00:13:03 Um, but But then what happened was one of the first fries. A war bow tie guy came up to me.
00:13:08 He was like, You're not a bow tie guy, are you? What's a bowtie guy? You know,
00:13:12 and he was like, you know, bow tie guy. I still don't know what he meant, but I think what he meant was that,
00:13:18 you know, people wear bow ties Might be arrogant, pretentious or pompous or whatever and untrustworthy. And I was like,
00:13:24 Okay, you know what? Can I shift this paradigm? Can I wear a bow tie and be humble?
00:13:29 Can I wear a bow tie and serve other people? Can I wear a bow time? Be generous,
00:13:33 gonna wear a bow tie, be trustworthy. So that really was The goal is to kind of have a bow ties my calling card,
00:13:38 and I have a business that that served people well and that, you know, really put others first.
00:13:43 And I mean, it kind of became a being Scott. I mean, you know, people were like a where the bow tie,
00:13:48 you know, and people see me that where's the boat time? And so when I was writing the book boat that Friday was a natural part of it.
00:13:55 And so if you look at the cover of the book, it's me with an untied bow tie and it was kind of like,
00:14:00 Hey, here's what's beneath the surface of all this, right? You see a bowtie, you see,
00:14:04 you know, guys, you know, whatever people would say, it's a successful business and a great family stuff.
00:14:10 It hears. Here's what that looks like untied. Here's what's beneath the hood, and it's these principles that I'm really understanding to live by and and live my life by So you know,
00:14:19 Bo Top Variety has become kind of a thing now with redefined rich. And there's people who do these little bow tie for our videos,
00:14:25 and it's just it's cool, man. It's just cool to see other people kind of carrying that torch to do these things in their own life.
00:14:32 And that's just a tangible way to remind ourselves to embrace these principles. Yeah, I know, and that's I think that's part of what's important about this is,
00:14:40 you know, that's your way of making them rial to yourself. But, you know, we all have to kind of find away toe make make these principles riel in our own lives.
00:14:51 Yeah. So, you know, you talked about it earlier. You've had the opportunity to do some public speaking now.
00:14:57 Yeah. And can you give us any tips on how we can develop our own influence through speaking? You know,
00:15:05 I think speaking is really it can be learned. Um, you know, and and and certainly can be cultivated.
00:15:12 Um, there's a part of it that if it's not authentic, then it'll never work. People can see in authenticity.
00:15:24 And so the thing about speaking is, is that people? I can't be My biggest pet peeve in the entire world is SEF self deprecating speakers.
00:15:34 Yeah, and, well, I I'm I'm probably gonna be a good is this guy, You know,
00:15:39 I really hate doing this. I don't know why I'm up here, and I kind of stopped. I'm like,
00:15:45 don't even go there. So for me, just BB, and that might be the moment with me being authentic.
00:15:51 I'm scared to death, but there's a way to do it that says, you know, I'm a worse speaker you've ever heard.
00:15:57 You know, um, there's a way to do it. That that would would be more often takes the guys.
00:16:03 I'll be honest. I am absolutely terrified. And And and and come out with this kind of sincerity that says,
00:16:10 You know, I'm terrified, But one of the things that I am going to do today is be honest with you and and people they'd appreciate that,
00:16:18 you know, And and so you know, don't don't take the route of self deprecation. And don't take the route of this humble position of light.
00:16:26 I'm the worst ever. There's that humility with confidence where you carry yourself confident you say, Listen, I think I've got something to share that it could be really helpful for you if you're willing to spend a few moments listening.
00:16:37 But then your humble to say, you know, at the same time I just don't have the words,
00:16:43 you know, um and and God, you have to give him to me so that that, to me,
00:16:48 is a huge thing. And then, you know, repetition. I mean, do it, do it,
00:16:52 do it, do it, do it, go do it! And do it again and do it again.
00:16:55 Do it again and get to the point where you're speaking. It is very conversational, and I think that that is what?
00:17:03 What? A lot of people really They failed to put in the work toe where it looks and feels natural,
00:17:09 because it is because they've done it so much. And that's the part. I mean, I'd do something crazy.
00:17:15 I don't write my speeches. I don't I don't know. You know everything. I don't use notes.
00:17:20 Um, I actually give the speech to myself standing up in my writing room, and I draw a picture of the speech on a big post it card,
00:17:34 and it helps me frame it in my mind. And so, you know, again, I it's very organic.
00:17:39 And so that's why you know, I think for me a lot of my speech is very different because they're all very organic.
00:17:45 But they come from a place of repetition of where I've I've worked through these thoughts in these things, you know,
00:17:51 for for many hours. No. Yeah. No, that makes sense. That makes sense. And I think everybody,
00:17:57 you know, has slightly different ways of preparing for a speech, but but that idea of finding that way that works for you and makes it makes it authentic and conversational,
00:18:06 I think, is important. Sure, so you can connect with Matt and learn more about these rich,
00:18:12 rich principles by following Matt on Twitter, He's at Matt Ham, S R Matt Ham, senior subscribe and Rita's Blawg over at matt ham dot com or join his whole life matters community on Facebook.
00:18:26 Matt, is there anything else you'd like to add? No. Scott, Man, this has been enjoyed.
00:18:33 It really talk just with you to dive into this stuff. It's always a great kind of refresher to me toe look back and see what God's done.
00:18:41 And so I hope that folks here today would just see. This is a journey that they can embrace and that they can live richly,
00:18:47 that their lives can radiate these principles. They just have to kind of the understand them first and redefine them.
00:18:55 And that's really what this is about. So thanks, man, for letting me share. I'm happy to walk with anybody,
00:18:59 has any questions, and I think he gave my my sight in information out there so look for to connecting with those who choose to Thanks so much for joining us and listening to the inspired stewardship.
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