00:00:00 Welcome to episode 684 of the inspired stewardship podcast. I'm Scott Brookens from Scott brookins.com. I encourage you to find the way to be inspired, to start your dream business and find freedom. And one way to do that is to be inspired by this the inspired stewardship podcast with my friend, Scott, But are less only on feelings. Don't get me wrong.
00:00:33 There's nothing wrong with making decisions based on feelings, and there's nothing wrong with making decisions based on logic. Both of these should play a role in decision making and understanding where other people are coming from means not making assumptions, but actually asking questions. It means having a dialogue, it means finding out welcome. And thank you for joining us on the inspired stewardship podcast.
00:00:58 If you truly desire to become the person who God wants you to be, then you must learn to use your time, your talent and your treasures for your true calling and the inspired stewardship podcast who learn to invest in yourself, invest in others and develop your influence so that you can impact the world. And today's episode about investing in others through stewarding your talent.
00:01:29 I talk with you about why feelings come before, action, how this changes the way you view yourself and how this can change the way you view others. You've heard me talk about developing your talent and what are the best ways to do that is through books. But if you're like most people today, it's hard to find the time to read. And that's why today's podcast is brought to you by audible.
00:01:55 Go to inspired stewardship.com/audible to sign up and you can get a 30 day free trial. There's over 180,000 titles to choose from. And you can pick one and listen your way to developing your talents via audible. That's inspired stewardship.com/audible to get your free trial and listen to great books the same way you're listening to this podcast, which comes first, the way we feel or the way we act.
00:02:28 And of course like a lot of things, the answer to this question is actually, yes, it's, it's both. They're connected to each other. There's a feedback dynamic between them as an example of this. Let's talk about when you wait until you feel motivated to do something well, the truth is you'll wait forever, but if you can get started,
00:02:49 even with a small action that moves you in that direction, then you'll begin to feel more motivated. But the truth is also that when it comes to decision making, often our feelings are there before our action is as an example, we tend to make decisions. Let's take a purchasing decision as an example, whether or not we want to buy that new car,
00:03:15 we tend to make a lot of those decisions based on the emotionality of the decision. And then we justify it with logic. We first think about how we feel even unconsciously. We don't necessarily bring that up to the conscious mind. And then we turn around and plug that feeling in and justify what we do based on logic. Well, I bought the car because it was safer than my existing car got better gas mileage or something else.
00:03:44 So there is a direction by which feelings come before. Decision-making an action. Just as surely as the actions you take can lead to changing your underlying feelings. What's more, one of the fundamental things that often happens is the way we feel about a situation we project out into the world. We just assume that everyone feels the same way. Everyone views the situation,
00:04:14 the same. Everyone else has. The internal state that I have, how I feel about it is the way everyone else feels about it. That's one of the reasons that if you get up on stage and begin to do public speaking, and you're a little bit nervous, you assume everyone can see how nervous you are because that internal state you project outward onto others.
00:04:36 And by the same token, we have a tendency to take the way we feel about something. And we ascribe that as the reason why someone did something. So that person did that to me because they wanted to make me feel hurt, or they wanted to make me feel upset, or they wanted to make me feel concerned, whatever emotion we feel that action that they took was purposefully done.
00:05:00 To make me feel that way, by the way, there's actually neuroscience and science to back this up there, there are people that have damaged to the areas of the brain that actually create emotional connections. And it turns out they actually have a lot of difficulty making even the most basic of decisions because that emotional connection is part of our decision making process. So when it comes to dealing with other people,
00:05:30 to making it a negotiation, to getting the things that you want, we often look at trying to do this through a logical process. You'll we'll line up our facts. We'll convince people that we're right and they're wrong based on our facts. But the truth is we should also worry about how they feel about things. Not trying to convince people with reason,
00:05:53 but trying to discuss things with people based on the emotion. You know, when we think about who we want to work with, how do we feel and how do they feel is almost more important than, you know, what they look like or their demographics or any of the sort of empirical facts that you can garner from it. When you begin to think about this,
00:06:17 you recognize the fact that other people are looking at the world the same way. In other words, they're viewing things based on how they feel and how you make them feel. And so whenever you take an action and someone's upset in part it's because they ascribed to that action, a purpose, they subscribed to that action that you've done this to make them feel that way,
00:06:39 even if that's not true. It's one of the reasons that we tend to, we tend to give ourselves some grace because we know our own internal States, but we tend to not give grace to others because we don't know their internal state. And therefore we ascribed to them purpose based on how we felt when we make decisions. Even if we think we're making it with logic,
00:07:03 there is a degree to which it is made based off of emotional decision making. I mean, you're raised in an environment you're brought up with certain beliefs and certain things around you, and you, you don't have time to constantly catalog all of the experiences that are coming towards you and judge them in this sort of logical way and weigh the pros and cons.
00:07:30 It's a survival tactic. It's something that we have to be able to very quickly make decisions and move forward. And this was very beneficial for a long period of time. So that's how we've kind of evolved and how our brain has adapted to face the world. But the truth is nowadays a lot of decisions that we make when we make them just off of emotion,
00:07:53 it creates conflict. It creates problems. It often even creates the ability to make very poor decisions and then struggle with those consequences. So again, there are ways that you can begin to recognize this and slow down and create decision making processes that feel better, but are less, only on feelings. Don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong with making decisions based on feelings.
00:08:20 And there's nothing wrong with making decisions based on logic. Both of these should play a role in decision making and understanding where other people are coming from means not making assumptions, but actually asking questions. It means having a dialogue, it means finding out what it is. That's the empathy that we were talking about on Monday's episode. It's not assuming that you know how others feel,
00:08:45 but actually having the conversation and developing the relationships so that you really know how other people feel. It's, it's understanding what they really want, not just what you think they want. It's understanding why they really made the choice that they made, not just why you think they did and recognize that sometimes people don't even know why they made the choice they made.
00:09:09 So it involves some work to help them even uncover the reason behind the decision. This is one of the values of working with others and beginning to understand how people communicate and look at the world so that you can build better connections and actually understand each other in a much better way. Thanks for listening. Thanks so much for listening to the inspired stewardship podcast,
00:09:42 as a subscriber and listener, we challenge you to not just sit back and passively, listen, but act on what you've heard and find a way to live your calling. If you liked this episode on the stewardship of talent, you can go over to inspired stewardship.com/talent and sign up for our five week series on the stewardship of talent. Or if you're in the U S you can text four,
00:10:11 four, two, two, two talent tips, that's talent tips to four four, two, two, two, and get those tips until next time, invest your time, your talent and your treasures, develop your influence and impact the world.