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Thanks for joining me on episode five hundred of the inspired stewardship podcast.

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I'm shaving miles from i challenge you to discover your calling and find your third option see you can be empowered to live everyday to the fullest one way to be inspired to do that so listen to this the inspired stewardship podcast with my friend,

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and scott made.

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Music.

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What are the reasons that working with the coach can help because part of what i can do is ask the hard questions and make sure that,

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everyone needs are being taking care of me because see in that situation if you can't afford to cover both of those can you need to cover both the banana lesser,

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i need to find a way to maybe do their hair every other month and a golf game every other month instead of every month.

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Welcome and thank you for joining us in the inspired stewardship.

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If you truly desire to become the person who god wants you to be working you must learn to use your time your talent and your treasures for your call.

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Any inspired stewardship podcast learn to invest in yourself invest in others and develop your employees so the viewer.

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Music.

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Please episode about investing in yourself to your treasurer i talk with you about why are vs mine is so important.

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The difference it makes when you really believe this and the key to moving your mind in this direction.

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Talk about stuart and your treasures would be great if you can support this podcast and do it without costing yourself and extra dime,

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you enjoy the show when you're ready to buy from amazon just use inspired stewardship dot com slash amazon.

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Mine versus ours and i work with a lot of couples when it comes to money.

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And the interesting thing is there is a really cite all.

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Raise that i hear what people were talking about money it's really shes simple as are you thinking of money is ours,

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where is mine.

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You know when you get married and you joined together your living together and you combined your finances and interesting thing happens,

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often one person earns a little bit more money than the other folks are working one person make two hundred fifty thousand four hundred thousand

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are seventy thousand and the other with martin makes much less than that.

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Or sometimes one parent is a stay at home parent and the other one is her name and income.

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Whatever it is there's often this feeling of i earning that money this is my money that i bring into the relationship and we decide what to do with that.

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That freezing is really interesting because if you truly joined together into a relationship truly partner's,

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ben even if you are the one out there running the money you are earning our money not my money.

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When will my wife is a stay at home mom for a few years and i was out burning n coming the corporate world,

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set what was interesting is that was still our money,

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sure i got the paycheck what was our money we set down together and planned what we're going to do with our money.

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How we were to use it to do the things we agree most important for us.

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R us vs mine is on fire lol distinction,

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when it comes to coming together and communicating well and joining together and finding your priorities in your values that you can't win with money it's about getting your mind right with money.

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You know we always have a little bit more budget that just kind of fun money that's are walking around money she has some on her that i carry my wallet and that money is the money that we use to kinda

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basically be just whatever we want,

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it's a very small percentage of the overall budget but everything else that we put into the budget,

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is our money and even that money to his and her fun money is our money because weve decided to do that.

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For a long time my wife actually carrying a little bit more fun money than i did,

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because she was often the one holly and the kids around and had to stop and grab a bite to eat she was also grabbing something for the for the side.

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And so just made sense for her to have more money my son even ask a question one time you said mom why is it that you carry more fun money than dad does but he's the one out earning the money,

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no answer is because,

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that's what made sense as well we agreed that was how we're dealing with our money together because i was the one earning the money but the money i was earning was our money together.

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It makes a huge difference when u really begin to believe this when you bring this into your heart solo you really believe it,

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send a lot of the fighting goes away because you begin to have discussions about what our shared values what our priorities what is it we want to do.

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There is a this immediate feeling of i have to protect myself from you have to protect my needs and make sure i get taken care of,

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because you're going to take care of yourself it immediately begins to difuser the competition some of the fighting some of the worry some of the fear.

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What it for a long time you haven't been living that way and it takes a while to reprogram your thinking it takes a while for the other partner to trust that you re programmed you thinking.

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But the truth is the only way to begin to make that shift in your mind set is too big into that way.

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Action is what creates belief

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it's me the rules that you have to follow first off you have to know longer use the phrase this is my money you have to begin to say,

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our money you have to be getting use the language that describes

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the money is are you have to sit down together and have a regular pattern of communication about money will you post look at it and you both get a vote and you both get a discussion,

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you have to spend some time together and unpack

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what are your priorities what are your share values and how are you gonna prioritize these together so that

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everyone's needs get taken care of you have to make sure that you put things in the family budget that at first glance maybe your just for one partner,

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would you still put them in there because you want to make sure everyone's needs are taken care of.

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If one of you wants to get their hair done is that in the budget of one of you want to play golf is that in the budget and if you can't afford to put both of those things and the budget didn't what are we gonna give you up what's more important.

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Are we gonna leave things in that are truly an alignment with our values.

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Because both of those maybe there's something you can do to reduce them.

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What is the discussion and sometimes it may even turn into a fight.

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This is one of the reasons that working with the coach can help because part of what i can do is ask the hard questions and make sure that,

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everyone's needs are being taken care of because see in that situation if you can't afford to cover both of those that you need to cover both of a banana lesser,

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level u need to find a way to maybe do,

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i hear every other month and a golf game every other month instead of every month.

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The difference is you got to be given to work together

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that's how you begin to make your mind move in that direction you begin to take the time to communicate you begin to take the time to look at the money together

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and the posts go out and execute that playing in the theater if either of you from that plant you gotta come back together and talk about it again.

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Regular communication and using the language.

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Have ours begins to change your beliefs thanks for listening.

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Yo are thanks so much for listening to the inspired stewardship.

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Yes as a subscriber lists here we challenge you to not just sit back and possibly listen.

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Asked on what you've heard and find a way to live your calling if you like this episode it on the stewardship of treasures.

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You can sign up for treasures tips by going to.

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Inspired stewardship dot com slash treasures or text us for two to two,

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treasures tips will send you five,

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best tips on stuart and your treasures.

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Until next time invest your time your talent and your treasures develop your influence and impact the world.