Episode 1583: Interview with Mitchell Osmond About Overcoming the Obstacles to Being a Successful Dad and Business Owner

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Scott Maderer: [00:00:00] Thanks for joining us on episode 1,583 of the Inspired Stewardship Podcast.

Mitchell Osmond: I'm Mitchell Osmond, and I challenge you to invest in yourself, invest in others, develop your influence and impact the world by using your time, your talent, and your treasures to live out your calling. Having the ability to find your legacy is key, and one way to be inspired to do that is to listen to this The Inspired Stewardship Podcast with my friend Scott Maderer.

The word masculinity is under attack. We heard the phrase toxic masculinity, which by the way, I would like to just call immature masculinity. Masculinity in its essence is not toxic, but we need wise, compassionate, loving, caring man. In the home example, we know that one in four kids today are gonna grow up without a father in the home.

Scott Maderer: Welcome and thank you for [00:01:00] joining us on the Inspired Stewardship Podcast. If you truly desire to become the person who God wants you to be, then you must learn to use your time, your talent, and your treasures for your true calling. In the inspired Stewardship podcast, you will learn to invest in yourself.

Invest in others and develop your influence so that you can impact the world.

In today's podcast episode, I interview Mitchell Osmond. I asked Mitchell about how he's driven to help men succeed in business and in marriage. I also asked Mitchell about how men can be leaders without being toxic. And Mitchell also shares with you how important it is to break free from self-sabotaging beliefs.

I have a great book that's been out for a while now called Inspired Living. Assemble the puzzle of your calling by mastering your time, your talent, and your treasures. [00:02:00] You can find out more about that book over an inspired living book.com. It'll take you to a page where there's information and you can sign up to get some mailings about it, as well as purchase a copy there.

I'd love to see you get a copy and share with me how it impacted your world. Mitchell Osmond is an advisor, a leadership consultant, an online influencer, and a podcaster. He is dedicated to helping high performing men achieve success where it matters most at home in their health and in their mindset.

Mitchell guides, executives, entrepreneurs, and professionals to bridge the gap between career success and personal fulfillment, ensuring they thrive in both their business and their marriages. Through his coaching courses, speaking engagements and podcasts, the dad nation, he teaches high performers how to reclaim their home health and happiness while enhancing their career success.

His mission is simple. Help high performing [00:03:00] leaders win in every area of life. And create a lasting legacy. Welcome to the show, Mitchell.

Mitchell Osmond: Thank you my friend. It's good to be here.

Scott Maderer: Absolutely. So I came on your show a while back too and I really enjoyed my time there. I learned a little bit about you from just talking to you and spending some time with you.

I shared some things in the intro about Dad Nation and the work that you're doing, but I also know. That the intro is never the whole story. So talk a little bit more about your journey and what's brought you to the point where this is the work you're doing. This is the message you're putting out in the world.

Mitchell Osmond: Yeah I love that question and I get it often some people often a lot of people ask, what was your turning point? For me, I would say there was a couple catalytic moments in my journey. The first the two, and there, there's one, which was the fight, and the second one was the funeral.

Okay. So the first one [00:04:00] was a fight and I was. In the kit or I was in the living room with my wife. We're sitting on the couch and man, it all hit the fan and we had a big fight. And it, the, a fight started out, it was over money. We were really struggling at the time. That more morphed into a fight about me not being present and checking out.

And it kept on spiraling. And if you're listeners are married, you know what exactly what I'm talking about it just 13

Scott Maderer: weeks ago on Thursday at 2:22 PM You not that ever happens.

Mitchell Osmond: Yeah. Yeah. And but at that time we had been married for just about three years, and it was three years of struggling and this fight was our rock bottom.

We fought all the time, but this one was different. For the first time in my life I felt like I, I couldn't fix it. Deep down I knew that if something didn't change, then this marriage would probably be over. Now. To give you some context is I was in a leadership position, a senior leadership position and I always had [00:05:00] been but I was let go from that position and it cost me to go into a spiral of depression.

I gained 60 pounds. We were in debt over a hundred grand. I was medicating with drugs and alcohol, just trying to cope and obviously dangers dangerously close divorce. And as I say, I was checked out, stressed out, and burned out just and I couldn't make any sense of it because I had seen success professionally in growing organizations and leadership team and building leadership teams.

But I couldn't seem to figure out my life personally why was it that I was so powerful at work, but powerless at home? And maybe your listeners have been there in some way or another, but and to give you more context I, I came from a dysfunctional upbringing and I had a non-existent relationship with my father.

Alcoholism, drugs, crime were litter throughout my family and I was caught in the middle of it all. And I thought. I thought that I had that figured out, but then when I got married the wounds [00:06:00] from my childhood began to bleed into my marriage and I could hear my word, I could hear my father's voice in mine.

I could hear his words in mine. And I kept getting pulled back into it. And I kept losing my mind and I kept drinking and I kept whatever. I knew I could be a better man, but I just didn't know how. So the second point of this journey was a week later I was at a funeral. And I was a lead pastor at the time, and I was a, I was actually singing at this funeral.

The minister in the at the funeral, it, the funeral was of this wealthy philanthropic man, and he had helped tons of people. It was like 2000 people at this funeral. And the minister asked this question as he was wrapping up. He said, are you living a life worthy of imitation? If you were to die tomorrow, would you be proud of the legacy that you left?

And Scott, by the time I strapped on my guitar and tried to choke out the last lyrics of the song, I could barely do it because I thought [00:07:00] at that time, man, if this was my funeral. No one would be saying, man, he inspired me to have an amazing marriage. Nobody would say he inspired me to get into shape, or, he inspired me how to love my wife well, or to be a model of self-control.

They would probably say he struggled. And then it was over. You see this funeral? At this funeral, people still told stories about this man. And that story was filled with incredible chapters, right? And that's what funerals, that's what people do at funerals. They tell stories 'cause that's all they have left.

And I was determined at the end of that funeral that I would begin to write my story to rewrite my story, right? To write new chapters. Because at that point, my childhood. It was a sad story. My marriage was a really struggle. It was a struggling story. So I committed that. I said when I go home, this is it ends with me and I'm gonna end this generational curse in my family with me.

And yeah, [00:08:00] basically I knew that if I wanted different results, I needed to do something differently. We know that, right? That's the old adage. The definition of insanity. Doing the same thing and expecting something different, so I surrounded myself with men who were living where I wanted to go.

Men who. My ceiling was their floor, and they taught me everything I needed to know. I hired coaches and a therapist and a fitness trainer and all those different things. But really these men surrounded me and believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. And then within a year and a half, we paid off a hundred grand in debt, completely restored our marriage.

I lost the 60 pounds and restored my health, and I was clean of substances and distractions. I was calm, content and confident. And so that was eight years ago, nine years ago. And because of the fact that I'd been in leadership positions, everyone kind of knew that what they saw, what was going on, they're like, what's going on?

How are you losing this weight? You and Sam seem so happy. How'd [00:09:00] you guys get outta debt? This is incredible. And so I started helping my friends, my brothers around me. And helping them get outta debt, helping them grow closer to their wives, help them lose weight and all those things.

And after a while, one of my buddies said, Hey man, if you really wanna have an impact, you should start a podcast and start sharing your knowledge with the world. And 18 months ago, a year and a half ago, I launched the Dad Nation podcast and essentially just started teaching the principles that I've learned over the last 10 years.

And then within eight or nine months, I had people from around North America. Messaging me, asking me, Hey could you coach me or could you sell me something? Could you teach me to do what you did? And then over the last 10 months or so I've created a six figure online coaching practice where I help high performing men reclaim their home and their health and their happiness.

And that's my three pillars are marriage, fitness, and mindset. And that's really what I'm doing at the end of the day, Scott is taking my trash and turning it into something into treasure. 'cause I believe the Lord redeems all things. And for [00:10:00] me, this is his redemption plan through me. So that's how I got here man.

Scott Maderer: Couple of things came to mind. Fir, first off, I think for a lot of men we can relate to that big fight like you're talking about or that blowout fight. However, I wanted to ask you too with some of the men you work with and with some of the situations you find, could you, have you also found where, what's really going on in the marriage?

Is not the fight, but the lack of the fight. You understand what I mean? It's the silences, the not communication, the not actually having the knockdown blowout.

Mitchell Osmond: And

Scott Maderer: how does that show up?

Mitchell Osmond: Yeah. So I think what you're talking about is a lack of communication. And and yeah, that's huge.

We know that in the United States, 70% of all divorces are initiated by women. And in [00:11:00] scenarios where the wife is, has an education or is a high earner, that number jumps to 90% of divorces are initiated by women. And the vast majority of those reasons are because of a lack of connection, and most of them are about an emotional connection.

Because men and if you have men who are listening, they, if you're anything like me you have four emotions, right? You, maybe you're mad, you're sad, you're happy or stressed, you're whatever, right? Pick your four. But it really doesn't get more than that. And the challenge is women need to be connected to emotionally, right?

Before they can become physical and then men are the opposite, right? We need to feel connected physically before we can connect emotionally. And that's part of the reason, right? So I spent a lot of my time teaching men. How to connect with their wives on a deeper level, on an emotional level.

How to engage them in conversation. How to show up be fully present because we think that our wives are looking for [00:12:00] perfection, but what they're actually looking for is presence. You know what I mean? Are you here, man, Scott? Sometimes, one of the most common phrases I say to my clients are, be where your feet are.

That's it. Wherever your feet are, show up there not on your phone, put your phone away, turn the TV off you name it. And so we have a lot of different different frameworks and teachings around how exactly to connect with your wife in a way that she feels seen and heard and safe.

Does that make sense?

Scott Maderer: Yeah, absolutely. And one of the other things that I think I wanted to call out from your story is. The fact that there was a period where you didn't believe in yourself. But you found a way to do what I call borrowing belief. If I coaches in this case or other people been in your life, mastermind groups a mentor shows up in different ways for different people, but it's the idea of.[00:13:00]

Sometimes when we can't believe in ourselves, one of the ways forward is to find a source of borrowed belief. Somebody else who believes in you that you can borrow from it until you begin to believe in yourself. Do you think how did that show up for you and how does that show up now in the work that you do?

Mitchell Osmond: But yeah, that's, it's huge, right? Community is massive and that's I created call some something called the Dad Nation Coalition, which is essentially my clients come together for this community of like-minded brotherhood. It's a like-minded group of men who are on the same mission. And the reason why is because.

You can have motivation, you can have a lot of motivation. You can have grit, you can have all that stuff, but at the end of the day, you're gonna get tired, right? And you're gonna lose sight. And you need men to hold you up sometimes so having that, those men around you. Not only give you the, like you said, not only encourage you they show you what's possible because they're living it.

[00:14:00] They give you the tools that you need to have to get to that point, right? And then they encourage you when you need to get to that point, because it's, it can be exhausting. What we're talking about is deep, mental and emotional work, especially in the context of marriage. And usually we, I do a lot of mindset coaching as well.

And let's be real. At the end of the day, marriage coaching is really just mind mindset. Coaching is practicing mindfulness, being aware of your emotions, what you're saying or what you're not saying. Healthy boundaries, attachment styles origin stories all those different things, right?

So community is massive and that's why I did that in the very beginning and that's, I think a large reason why I was able to accomplish. What I was able to, and also the speed in which I did it a year and a half, I felt like I had a cheat code because Scott, what I did is I reached out and I said, who's the most financially successful person I know?

Who's the most, who's in the best shape that I know, who has the best marriage that I [00:15:00] know? I took all the problems I had and I said, who within one degree of separation is the most inspiring person in that area? And I'm gonna reach out and say, Hey man, would you be willing to just grab a coffee like once a month?

And just. Give me any mentorship or tips or anything you want. And that those five relationships blossomed into something amazing and helped me speed up exponentially that process. So yeah. Community's huge.

Scott Maderer: You also mentioned as you were talking a little bit about your belief and your faith and how that intersected with this.

Talk a little bit about how. The journey you were on affected your faith and how your faith journey affected the journey you were on that kind of feedback loop between our faith and our life.

Mitchell Osmond: Yeah. It was interesting because I had spent so much of my life with a sort [00:16:00] of and the language is strong, but a bit of a victim mentality.

God, why did you let this happen to me? Why? Why me? I, why did you give me a dad? Who who didn't love me, right? Or why did you gimme a sister who I grand theft auto charges and stole from our family and almost burned her house down? Why did you give me this why was this abuse in my family?

Why was this trauma in my family, and, and I grew up with a lot of anger toward the Lord and then at one point he had said I'm doing this in you because I have a greater plan for you, a purpose that's beyond something that you can understand. But the problem was because I was so used to the environment that I was in.

I was always told you're not the smart one in the family. Your older sister is the smart one, so you're gonna be just like your dad. And so that was just spoken over my life most of my life. And so I got to a point where, you know, when the healing took place and the Lord would put people in my life, [00:17:00] like Scott, it was crazy, man.

I would be at like McDonald's or I would be at like the superstore or it could have been in church, it could have been anywhere mul like at least once a year for at least 10 years. Where somebody will come up and share a prophetic word with me and they would say, you're called to something great to impact thousands of men.

By your testimony and what the Lord has done through you. I'm like, what are you talking about? Let me eat my big Mac to get outta my face. Cause at the time I was so angry, right? And I didn't understand. And so I'd had these people sharing these random people, sharing these prophetic words in the vision.

It was always the same thing. And I did, I had no idea because I had no self-belief. And it wasn't until I really did that deep work to understand and really seek in the Lord, and what does this mean? How can you turn this around for me? And so unfortunately. None of that really made sense until they had that blow up with my wife, where it was all like, it got really rock bottom.

And then I [00:18:00] hit the funeral and then that question just unlocked something for me. It's, it is interesting in that moment when I was wrestling with that, am I living a life worthy of imitation? I was wrestling with that question and then the Lord began to stir something up in my heart because at that time I was.

At that time I was in ministry. I'm jumping all, all over the timeline of my life, but at that time I was in ministry and a large part of my ministry was just the people who knew God, right? Men who knew the Lord, which was great. And I think there's a time and a place for that. But the Holy Spirit began to say, I'm calling you to reach men who would otherwise also reach men who would otherwise never step into this building.

And so in order to do that, I need you to do some extra work. And yeah, that was the journey, the faith journey and how that intertwined. I went on this healing process. Healing journey. The Lord helped helped me see what he was preparing me for and then, and also having to prepare to step out of that vocational ministry and into a [00:19:00] ministry that was totally foreign to me in the sense of most of my clients didn't know the Lord versus when I was a pastor, everyone did right.

And so cool to help me. To be able to share my faith along with the coaching and intertwine that. Now a lot of my clients obviously know the Lord as well but it is a cool ministry that's come out of that.

Scott Maderer: What do you see as some of the challenges that happen? 'cause you've been in the ministry environment, you've worked with men there, and now you're working in the coaching and like you just said some of the folks that come to you, it's not necessarily.

Because of their faith or because of a faith that it's other things that are bringing 'em to you. What do you see as some of the common obstacles or challenges that show up regardless of whether you were in the church setting or now in the secular setting, so to speak?

Mitchell Osmond: Yeah it's a great question, Scott [00:20:00] and I think a lot of people just.

We have to go back to our wiring and a lot of people misunderstand. They misunderstand love. Really let's go back even more. They think that their spouse is supposed to make them make them happy. To complete them. We believe this lie that Hollywood tells us that love is supposed to feel good and so we're set up for this with this lie.

So we have all these un uncommunicated expectations. But then when we talk about our wiring in the context of a man and a wife when they get married, let's break down masculine like a masculine essence versus a, a feminine essence, like a masculine essence in its true essence is driven by mission.

Right accomplishments. It's driven by excellence, it's driven by goals all those different things. It's assertive, it's decision making. The feminine essence is much more emotional and it's [00:21:00] intuitive values, nurturing, relationships all those things. So entirely different drivers.

Right? And so a lot of my clients are high performing men VPs, CEOs, whatever positions of leadership, and they are. Their job. Their job is to create systems and strategies and produce more profit income whatever. And they have tactical, tangible results and they're rewarded for it. And they're rewarded for their masculinity.

A lot of senses in those 'cause they have a strong mission. Hey, by Q4 this is what we need to see. But that's not the way a woman works. That's not the way your wife works. So a lot of, when I say men feel powerful at work and power powerless at home, the problem is they come home. And they continue to treat their wife like the employee, and their date nights end up feeling like board meetings with wine, right? And so it's understanding that like the same rules at work [00:22:00] don't necessarily apply at home. And so maybe your wife doesn't care about your strategies or the system or the whatever, and she just wants to talk. And not even with any kind of goal, like not even a subject just to talk for the sake of talking.

When I learned that, it blew my mind. I'm like, you mean tell me? There's literally no point to this conversation. You just wanna for the sake of talking or a, I coach a lot of men in, in a woman's three basic needs. And that's to feel seen, to feel heard, and to feel safe.

And we could break those down if you want. But at the end of the day, a lot of men realize that their wife hasn't felt heard. They haven't felt seen, they haven't felt heard, and they haven't felt safe in many ways for many years. And so at the end of the day we must understand that our masculine essence, the things that make us a man, so to speak, and the things that make our wives a [00:23:00] woman, are very different.

And we have different motivations and there's a lot more to it. Like we could talk about. Our origin stories, like where we came from, or love languages or attachment styles and all those different things. But at the end of the day, the big disconnect is you're speaking red and she's speaking blue.

And it's or you're totally just bumping, bumping heads, right? And so if we could understand how and I'll often ask my clients, I'm like, I want you to talk to your wife. And after I teach them about seeing heard and safe. I have a series of questions and having you ask what does it look like for me to make you feel seen today?

Or what, how can I make you feel more heard in this family? Or, how can I make you feel safe in the four ways, which is relationally physically. Emotionally and financially safe, what, are there any ways that you're feeling unsafe in this relationship and how can I restore that? And dude, when they ask the [00:24:00] that question, like the wives, it just blows their mind.

And then the waterworks come and then they and then I say, Hey. Take what she says and start implementing it. I don't care, man. Create a strategic plan, create a metric around it if you need to. Turn it into a mission. We can turn

Scott Maderer: it into a task or a mission. And all of a sudden it's yay, this is fun now.

Mitchell Osmond: Exactly. And then she's gonna feel seen, heard, and saved. Does that make sense?

Scott Maderer: Absolutely. Yeah. My wife and I have gone through a very challenging time ourselves and some of the things that I've learned like for instance, my wife literally has learned this, and it's something I tell her it's to train me is how it is so she could come to me and say, I just need you to listen.

And that just means I just shut up and listen. I'm not just supposed to solve the problem. I'm not supposed to give advice. I'm just supposed to shut up and listen. It is oh, okay, I could do that. 'cause I know [00:25:00] the rules now. It's I know what my expectation is and and the other one you know is, Hey, I just need a hug right now.

Okay. I just, she just needs a hug, it's, and it is some of that, she understands how to communicate to me, and I understand how to communicate to her. And it's and works both ways. Yeah. Because sometimes too the wife has to learn and the man has to learn, and then there's that.

That it's a positive feedback loop as opposed to a negative one or a destructive one.

Mitchell Osmond: Yeah. And Scott, a great question that can really help that specific scenario for a man is cause I know for me, like a lot of times I would come home from work and I'm literally, I spent the last eight, 10 hours fixing things.

And that's what leaders do

Scott Maderer: I in that mode.

Mitchell Osmond: Yeah, a hundred percent. So you come home and the kids are screaming and your wife is like stressed and she [00:26:00] starts talking and you're like, okay, fix it. I gotta fix this, obviously, right? So when she, and when she would start talking, I'd say just one second.

One quick question for you. Is this a conversation where you want me to fix something? Or is this a conversation that you just want me to listen? Like how can I best serve you right now? And honestly, man, like she'll give you the answer. She'll like, actually, I just want you to listen.

And bro, the weight just comes. I'd be like, oh, all right. Game on. But if she's actually, I really need you to help me with this. You're like, okay, game on. Let's go. I can help with that. I can do that. It just brings so much clarity and she appreciates it as well because it says, Hey, I'm listening and I wanna serve you.

I wanna love you. That's a simple question.

Scott Maderer: Yeah. And I, it's by asking that question that now my wife just prompts she prew that question. You know what I, she'll tell me, okay, this is not a solvent conversation. Okay, got it. Love it. I'm just supposed to listen. [00:27:00] And it's and other times it's like, Nope, nope I'm supposed to help and provide solution or help out or do something more active, quote unquote. Not that listening's not active but it can to, to me listening, just listening feels. There's gotta be more to this. There's gotta be a point to it.

Mitchell Osmond: Exactly. Exactly. And you know what it feels like when you're, when you hear your wife and this is not meant to disrespect at all, it's just meant to highlight how crazy it feels for us men who are listening.

But when your wife is having a hard day and she's talk, talking about it, and she's like overwhelmed or frustrated or whatever, and she's not looking for a solution. It's literally like standing in front of a house that's on fire and you have a wa you have a hose from a fire hydrant and you could just turn it on anytime you want.

You're holding it. You're like, I can turn it on. I can put this fire. No. Okay. Just gotta, you just gotta keep that hose closed and watch it burn. It's [00:28:00] so it's normal to struggle with that.

Scott Maderer: Yeah. Yeah. So talk a little bit about, how for, especially for men the idea of we, we will have an area like business or corporate world or whatever it is that we're engaged in, and we find great success there.

Everyone looks at it and goes, dude, you're you're so successful. Maybe higher income, higher earning, whatever it is, right? These different external measures of success. And we'll find it in those areas of our life. And yet struggle so much on the personal side with the kids or with the wife or with the marriage.

You see a lot of successful men that it's yeah, I'm on my third wife. Okay. So you see success in one area and so much struggle in another. What? What are some of the. How can we not see that [00:29:00] situation? How would you, what advice do you have or strategies do you have to help men deal with that split?

Mitchell Osmond: Yeah. That's such a good question and, I'll tell you what, Scott, I think a lar, a large part of it. There's two reasons why this happens, is number one is we don't actually understand what success looks like for us. Like we don't have clarity like, what does success look like for Scott? What does success look like for Mitchell?

Because we look to so many other places. What does my neighbor, what are their, what are they successful in? Or my brother-in-law or whatever. The second, so we don't have clarity. The second reason is it's harder to define. Like I can tell when I'm being successful at work 'cause I get a performance bonus or I got a I got a raise or I got a whatever.

Very simple. I get a paycheck at the end of the week or whatever your context is. And it's very tactical okay, I did this thing, I get [00:30:00] this reward, but now I come home. And you're not, like, when you come into the door, your 6-year-old isn't Hey, daddy, here are seven reasons why I think you're an effective father.

You know what I mean? No one's telling you it's not, I've

Scott Maderer: got, I'm just picturing a performance review meeting with your 6-year-old in my head, all of a sudden it's like, how would that go?

Mitchell Osmond: Exactly right. Or like, how do you quantify if you're gaining or growing in your self-confidence? Or even losing weight, for example, is tough unless you're super diligent about tracking the metrics.

And so it's really it's really tangible, like seeing success at work. But when we come home, it's far it's way more intangible. And so we struggle in that environment. Gi remember given our masculine essence and how we're wired. And for me the biggest thing. That I think is important for men to [00:31:00] understand is that we have to begin with the end in mind, right?

And so Stephen Covey in his book, seven Habits of Highly Effective People, chapter two is called Begin With the End in Mind. Napoleon Hill is begin with the end in mind. It's always, we're always have to get clarity. At the end result, what does a successful life look like for me? Or for example, my situation was what does a life look like that's worthy of imitation?

That was my turning point. And a lot of times with some of my clients, I'll walk 'em through a eulogy writing exercise, right? Where I'll have them literally write out the eulogy that their wife would write for them or that their kids would write for them in an ideal situation and maybe what they would write today.

At the end of the day that, because those two points are really where the tension lies about the man or the person we are right now. The family life we have, the physical health, we have all those different things, and the person we know that we could be or the man we want to be. And in that gap is where we [00:32:00] carry that, that those questions and those anxieties like what if I could just figure it out?

And so some things like that we do to begin with the end of mind and just really craft a clear idea of what, what matters the most. And I'll often say to men you have to determine what gets your automatic yeses, right? Because when you know what gets your automatic yes, given everything else, your no gets a lot easier, right?

And understanding that the every moment you give something or someone a yes something or someone else is getting a no. The moment you say yes to that board meeting, your wife and your kids are getting a no. Understand that, right? Because there's no way to stretch time. And so let's get clear on what gets our yeses above everything else and let's get clear on what's okay with getting our nos, right?

So essentially we have a lot of conversation around what do you want? Because Scott, 90% of the guys I asked that question to, what do you want? [00:33:00] The answer is, I don't know. And I'm like, what do you mean you're running seven figure companies? You have a team of 80 people serving you. You don't know what you want.

I have no idea. So getting clarity on that. And so there's something that I've called something that I've built called the the Prime Success Filter. And essentially what it is it's a series of statements. That you as a man can ask yourself or to make, to help you define success for you?

So I'll know I'm being successful when do Right, and that could be, I'll know I'm being successful when I can stop scrolling on my phone and be fully present with my wife once we put the kids to bed I'll know I'm being successful when. I have this much money in the bank, or I have the home house paid off, or whatever.

But you have to understand what success looks like for you and not let other people define it. [00:34:00] And so the Prime the Prime acronym is essentially the system that, that you use to create these statements. So P stands for personal, right? It has to be your definition of success not your parents, your in-laws, your neighbors.

The second one is relevant. It has to align with what truly matters to you now, right? The third one is intentional. You have to use it to choose and to act on purpose. And the third or the fourth one is measured. So it must give you a clear test for every decision, right? Again, with going back with the yes and the no.

And the fifth one is evolving. It grow. This thing has to grow with you as you grow. And so then you ask that question, I know I'm being successful when, and you run it through that prime framework. And if it, it's a if it makes sense to throw all those, then you write that statement down and you have four or five guiding statements of and if I I'll stick these on the wall or put 'em on my background, whatever.

It keeps [00:35:00] me focused on what matters to me and no one else. And it keeps me focused on moving forward. Instead of being complacent and drifting, and it keeps me from only focusing on work. Because ideally in that situation, those statements involve your family, your faith some of those areas, not just your finances and your career.

And so it's just reading those once, even just once a month, is a great alignment tool and it stops you from getting caught in that trap. Does that make sense?

Scott Maderer: Absolutely. Absolutely. It it does and I think it helps too. It helps break free from. Limiting success to just those areas that, like you said, it takes the things that are less measurable or less coherent and helps you make them coherent and clear.

Exactly. Exactly. So Mitchell, I've got a few [00:36:00] questions that I like to ask all of my guests, but before I ask you those, is there anything else about the work you do or this message that you're sharing that you'd like to share?

Mitchell Osmond: Oh man. It would just honestly just be an encouragement to your listeners because so often in our world today, I feel like the word masculinity is under attack.

We heard the phrase toxic masculinity, which by the way, I would like to just call immature masculinity. Masculinity in its essence is not toxic, but we need. Wise, compassionate, loving, caring man in the home. We know. So for example, we know that one in four kids today are gonna grow up without a father in the home.

We know that 63% of youth suicides come from fatherless homes. 90% of homeless and runaway children come from fatherless homes. 85% of kids with behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes. 71% of high school dropouts come from [00:37:00] fatherless homes. And so the truth is that your family needs you. Your spouse needs you, your kids need you, right?

And so I just want to encourage the men who are listening and the wives who are listening that are married to men go all in. Go all in. And you'll hear me. If you listen to the Dad Nation podcast, you'll hear me saying at the beginning and the end of every single episode, when the dad gets better, the whole family wins.

Because at the end of the day you're responsible, right? And that's a part of taking leadership in the home is like understanding that you are the blueprint. And so your kids are gonna follow your steps. They're not always gonna do what you say, but you better believe they're gonna do what you do. So that would just be a little encouragement for you. You matter and and this world needs you and this fam and your family needs you.

Scott Maderer: So my brand is inspired stewardship, and I run things through that lens of stewardship, and yet I've discovered over the years that's one of those words that can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people.

So [00:38:00] when you hear the word stewardship, what does that word mean to you?

Mitchell Osmond: Man, I'm reminded of that scripture that says every good and perfect gift comes from above from our Heavenly Father who does not change like the shifting shadows. And for me, every gift is from the Lord. Everything we have is from the Lord.

And he's always asking us we know this. And parables, and teachings. What are you? How are you fostering? How are you stewarding this gift of giving you and your time and your talent and your treasure, right? And so it's not just for me, it's not just about money. I think a lot of people think about money, financial stewardship, but I think about man like.

For example, one of the times, one of another point, early on in our marriage, we had a big fight and with my wife and I was like, I was yelling at her and I saw fear in her eyes and she was backed up against the wall. And the Holy Spirit said to me in that moment, she is my daughter before, she's your wife and she's a gift I've given you and I can take her away at [00:39:00] any point.

How are you loving this daughter? I've trusted you with? And so when I think about stewardship, I think about man stewardship is like how I treat my wife, how I treat my son, how I treat my finances, how I grow my business, how I lead other men all those different things. Does that make sense?

Yeah.

Scott Maderer: So this is my favorite question that I like to ask everybody. Imagine for a moment that I invented this magic machine and with this machine I was able to take you from where you are today and transport you into the future, maybe 150, maybe 250 years. And through the power of this machine, you were able to look back and see your entire life.

See all of the connections. See all of the ripples. See all of the impacts you've left. What impact do you hope you've left in the world?

Mitchell Osmond: Man. I love that question. I would hope that there would be a few people that would [00:40:00] say he helped me in my marriage. That guy started that organization, that trained and taught men and their sons.

And their sons how to be better men, how to love their wives well. How to succeed and be faithful in what the Lord has given them in their time, talent, and treasure. That my life is better, that I've ended this generational curse in my life because of this organization. That he started in a couple a hundred years from now because at the end of the day that's the business that I work in is a lot, is these breaking these generational cycles, right?

And so for me, I think 150, 200 years, a couple generations have gone by. I'd love for people to be saying that.

Scott Maderer: So what's on the roadmap? What's coming next as you continue on your journey?

Mitchell Osmond: Yeah, so continuing to grow I have a community called the Dad Nation Coalition which is, like I said, a community of like-minded men who get together to to grow in their fitness, in their mindset, in their marriage.

And so what's in the [00:41:00] journey, man, or what's in the future, is just more of that I tell men or tell people all the time I do three things and I never get bored of these three things, and I don't wanna do any more than these three things, and that's content. Courses and coaching so the content is the Dad Nation podcast.

The courses is my online programs that help men. And then the coaching is of course connecting with men with coaching calls and stuff. And so just more and more of that man, I have a mission to help 500,000 men and these curses and their families and to help them become better men, father, men, husbands, and fathers.

So I'm, my goal is to reach that 500,000 mark.

Scott Maderer: Awesome. So you can find out more about Mitchell over@dadnationco.com. Of course. I'll have a link to that in the show notes as well. Mitchell, anything else you'd like to share with the listener?

Mitchell Osmond: Yeah thanks for asking Scott. I would say if you're listening to this and this [00:42:00] has resonated with you I have a free gift that I'd love to give your listeners today, Scott, and it's just called the Connection Code and it's 50 of my favorite questions that I use all the time with men to.

Spark more fun and create more intimacy in your marriage. And so if you feel more like roommates lately than soulmates, or like I said earlier your date nights feel like board meetings then you can download that gift. I'll give it to you, Scott to put it in the show notes below. It's real simple.

And then you can pull these questions out on date nights or after you put the kids down. And I promise you these questions are strategically designed to draw out your wife and to help her connect with you on a deeper level emotionally and spark more fun and intimacy in your marriage. So that's just for you for listening today.

Scott Maderer: Awesome. Thanks so much for that.

Thanks so much for listening to the Inspired Stewardship Podcast. As a subscriber and listener, we challenge you to [00:43:00] not just sit back and passively listen, but act on what you've heard and find a way to live your calling. If you enjoyed this episode please do us a favor. Go over to inspired stewardship.com/itunes.

Rate all one word iTunes rate. It'll take you through how to leave a rating and review, and how to make sure you're subscribed to the podcast so that you can get every episode as it comes out in your feed. Until next time, invest your time. Your talent and your treasures. Develop your influence and impact the world.