Episode 1372: Interview with Kyle Gillette About Blue Shirt Leadership

[00:00:00] Scott Maderer: Thanks for joining us on episode 1372 of the Inspired Stewardship Podcast.

[00:00:08] Kyle Gillette: Hi there, I'm Kyle Gillette, and I challenge you to invest in yourself, invest in others, develop your influence, and impact the world by using your time, your talent, and your treasures to live out your calling. Having the ability to give people the space they need to be real is key, and one way to be inspired to do that is to listen to this.

[00:00:24] The Inspired Stewardship Podcast with my friend, Scott Maderer.

[00:00:35] So first of all, really ultimately was about loving on them and helping them to know that, you know, I care about you. I genuinely and deeply care about your future and who you are right now and who you're going to be in the future. And that. It shifted their perspective on me. It shifted my perspective on them.

[00:00:53] And though we had very different backgrounds in almost every case, it created this, this synergy and this connection. [00:01:00]

[00:01:00] Scott Maderer: Welcome and thank you for joining us on the Inspired Stewardship Podcast. If you truly desire to become the person who God wants you to be, then you must learn to use your time. Your talent and your treasures for your true calling in the Inspired Stewardship podcast, you will learn to invest in yourself, invest in others and develop your influence so that you can impact the world.

[00:01:30] In today's podcast episode, I interview Kyle Gillette. I asked Kyle about why he now coaches leaders on his blue shirt leadership framework. I also asked Kyle about his faith and how this influences what he does, and Kyle also shares with you how learning to focus on others can make you a more influential and empowering leader.

[00:01:53] I've got a new book coming out called Inspired Living, assembling the puzzle of your call by mastering your time, [00:02:00] your talent, and your treasures. You can find out more about it and sign up. for getting more information over at

[00:02:11] InspiredStewardship. com Inspired Living. That's InspiredStewardship. com Inspired Living. Kyle Gillette is a business and leadership coach who helps business owners transform from feeling like they are on an island in a state of S. O. S., stressed out, overwhelmed, and stuck, to purpose driven business owners and community leaders enjoying new levels of freedom and growth.

[00:02:34] Kyle has diverse experience running four businesses and a nonprofit during his career. Kyle has multiple coaching and behavioral assessment certifications, including NLP. He's ICF certified, a John Maxwell coach, and he's the creator of the Blue Shirt Leadership Framework. He helps his clients be self aware leaders, lead with accountability.

[00:02:59] Use [00:03:00] a growth mindset and empower others. That's the blue in blue shirt. Ultimately, his goal is to help his clients be more, do more, have more, and give more. Kyle has authored two books. The most recent is Right Now Leadership, a four part framework for today's leader. Always an open book, he provides an honest look a dad.

[00:03:22] When not working, Kyle does CrossFit with friends, hiking, mountain biking, or cross country skiing with his family. Welcome to the show, Kyle!

[00:03:32] Kyle Gillette: Thanks Scott. I appreciate it. Thanks for having me on the show.

[00:03:35] Scott Maderer: Absolutely. So I talked about it a lot in the intro. I shared some of the things you've been doing, some of the work you have the work you're doing around the blue shirt, which I love the name by the way, blue shirt.

[00:03:48] And by the way, folks, he is wearing a blue shirt. So you know, on brand. Would you share a little bit more about the journey? You know that intros are always the Instagram. version of our life as [00:04:00] opposed to the real story. Can you share a little bit more and unpack what brought you to this point in your journey?

[00:04:06] Kyle Gillette: Yeah, I was real fortunate to experience a really good college and have a lot of fun in it and then discover about three quarters of the way through that I did not want to be the physical therapist that I signed up to go to college to be. I think that happens to a lot of us. I think so. But back then school did not cost billions of dollars like it does nowadays.

[00:04:28] So it wasn't near as big a deal to pivot. And decide not to choose that major to choose to go down that career path, but I was fortunate to be introduced to a men's mentoring program called Alpha Academy, and I'd been on a mission trip to India with a friend named John and several other people, and he called me up and said, Hey, Kyle, I think there's this mentoring program that you'd be a great fit for.

[00:04:50] You should check it out. And I'm going. Senior year of college. I'm 40 pounds overweight. I'm feeling like a loser because ultimately I [00:05:00] was afraid to be an adult is what was happening. I was going, Oh my gosh I'm going to be an adult now I have to step out and do this. And so I was behind in school, et cetera, et cetera.

[00:05:10] So I got this call. There was in a way out of nowhere and I decided I'm going to go for it. I'm going to go do this interview and see what happens. And the property's 20 acres, there's rolling green Hills behind it. There's some cattle on it. There's some fencing where the doggy daycare facility is and some other fencing on the other side of the property where the boarding facility is.

[00:05:31] And I drive up and I'm like, this is paradise. This is amazing. I love dogs. I like being out in the, in nature and out in on big land because I grew up on 40 acres and so it all fit. Walk up the steps to this farmhouse that was built in 1886, if I remember correctly, right? Wrap around porch. I'm like, this is amazing.

[00:05:50] Knock on the door. The president lets me in president of the nonprofit and we proceed to interview for an hour and a half after the interview's over. He stands up, shakes my [00:06:00] hand and says, do you want the job? And I'm like I don't know. And so what's crazy is to say yes to that job meant I'm going to be, I need to wrap up college, of course, but then I'm moving out of the apartment I was in and I'm moving into this.

[00:06:18] place where there's going to be guys that are 18 and 25 that are lost and off track in life and struggling. That was me. And so this guy wants me to lead a bunch of guys that I am. I'm like, Jack, I don't know if I can do this is what's running around in my head to a certain degree, but I shake his hand.

[00:06:35] I said, yes. And so months passed and then I ended up moving in. Fast forward 9 years and I'm still in the program doing, I played different roles in the program over the course of time, but I've stayed in that program for 9 years and mentored the whole time by the president, who was a multi multimillionaire with multiple successful businesses.

[00:06:54] And so he just dumped his masters of business. On to me, but [00:07:00] actual experience of it. And then I got to practice it in the organization because we ran a pet resort. And so I got to do that for three or four years. And then I got to run the whole program for three or four years with him overseeing the whole thing and mentoring me.

[00:07:12] So that was huge to get me started with what now is blue shirt coaching. There's more to the story, but that's the very beginning of. of how it happened. So let me

[00:07:23] Scott Maderer: ask you a little bit, just a little bit of follow up. So you mentioned you were in the very place as the people that you were now in charge of running a program to have them and mentor and grow.

[00:07:35] How was that kind of leading from a place of being in the same in the middle of the same journey, so to

[00:07:42] Kyle Gillette: speak? Yeah, it was scary. The guys, a lot of them came in with drug and alcohol struggles, and they had abuse in their lives. So some of these guys were pretty aggressive and somewhat violent.

[00:07:53] And so for me, I came from a very peaceful home that didn't have that type of history. And it [00:08:00] was a, Pretty abrupt shift from a really idyllic college experience, having a blast to this, Oh my gosh, these guys lives were really hard and some people would consider them unleadable. And I stepped into this place of being green and wet behind the ears, but it was this beautiful opportunity to, to 1st of all, really ultimately was about loving on them and helping them to know that I care about you.

[00:08:25] I genuinely and deeply care about your future and who you are right now and who you're going to be in the future. That shifted their perspective on me, it shifted my perspective on them, and though we had very different backgrounds in almost every case, it created this synergy and this connection that allowed them to open up to me and me to open up to them and then growth would follow regardless of what role I was in an organization because I was in three different roles over the years, three

[00:08:53] Scott Maderer: different roles.

[00:08:54] Yeah. So What did you learn? What was the biggest thing you learned from [00:09:00] spending that time with that organization over nine years? If you had to sum it down to one nugget or two nuggets what do you think the biggest things you took away from that?

[00:09:10] Kyle Gillette: Judgment. I learned that I judged back then I judged people a lot.

[00:09:15] And so living with guys that had a different experience than me, living with guys that had a much harder life, working with people that had a different experience, much different life, allowed me to realize how judgmental I was. And. quickly, I was able to pivot away from that quickly, meaning like several months into it.

[00:09:35] I was able to pivot away from that. And I still, obviously we all deal with the wrong kind of judgment. We need to make judgments, but like the wrong kind of judgment and which is ultimately really for me, it was pride. So like my pride faded significantly. I'm still prideful. Okay. Let's be real here, but it's faded significantly.

[00:09:52] And so So realizing that I'm not the main character, to use a phrase in today's culture, I'm not the main character and I never will [00:10:00] be. And when I try to be, that's a problem. So that was a big takeaway for me. And a lot of these guys, they thought they were the main character and it created an issue for them like it was for me.

[00:10:11] And so there was a commonality there ultimately that we were able to play through and figure out.

[00:10:17] Scott Maderer: So can you talk a little bit about your faith journey and how that intersected with. Both before that. And then those nine years that you spent with the organization and then where you are today.

[00:10:28] Kyle Gillette: Yeah. So I was in Mexico when I was 16 years old, I went on a missions trip there and that's where I first found the Lord. And the very short version of that story is I went there to go make out with my girlfriend in Mexico is what the reason I went on the trip because she was going to go and she didn't, which is good.

[00:10:47] And every night there was a, we were there for a week and every night there was a band that was up front. in this little building that for whatever reason had a wrestling mat on the floor and blue wrestling mat. I remember that really clearly. And there's a [00:11:00] small band up front that played only a few songs.

[00:11:02] And so I got to memorize those songs cause I was real new to Christianity, but I knew that I was sinful and I knew that I needed to be forgiven for those sins. And so I kept on saying, God, forgive me for the sins, forgive me for my sins, forgive me for my sins. And every night I would say that. And then finally on Friday, I'm like, God, this is your last chance to forgive me for my sins.

[00:11:20] We're leaving. Obviously that's not true, but I'm praying that and the band, the singer said, okay, I want everybody to be quiet and just listen to God. And so everybody being 75 people in this pretty tight room were real quiet. And I noticed a couple of people go on their knees. And so I did the same thing.

[00:11:39] And I remember looking down. at the wrestling mat and praying, God, forgive me for my sins. Forgive me for my sins. And then someone goes, Jesus, they screamed it out. And I felt this I would say the Holy spirit just came on me a little bit. And then I heard a voice that said, I do forgive me. I [00:12:00] do forgive you for your sins, except the forgiveness.

[00:12:03] And I went, Oh, that's what I need to do. Okay. And so I, in that moment, however, I accepted it. I'm not exactly sure how that works, but I did. And then I was a broken man for the next 30 minutes, just a weeping puddle of a mess. And that was the beginning of my journey to shifting. My life, because I was in I was in San and struggling significantly with other things in my life, but that, that began it.

[00:12:29] Then I started to go on missions trips and the India 1 was the 1 that got me introduced to John who introduced me to alpha that academy I was mentioning. And that program is a Christian based program. And so now I'm being mentored by this guy that has, that's been in faith for many years Jack and.

[00:12:47] He tremendously helped in my faith, helped me in development of my business acumen. And then of course, I'm then to mentor and disciple the guys that I'm leading, right? Or the people that I'm helping in the pet resort. [00:13:00] So that all helped me grow my faith big time. And so that's paid forward into my business in a lot of ways without that history and that background and really connecting business and faith together from the very beginning of my experience with it.

[00:13:14] I don't think I would. approach the businesses that I've run the way that I have.

[00:13:20] Scott Maderer: How do you tie business and faith together? And I ask that in all seriousness, because I think that's a thing that I know a lot of Christian business owners that struggle with that idea of how does my faith show up in either the business I run or the business I work in, or the, how does it show up in that secular world of business?

[00:13:41] Kyle Gillette: Yeah, there's two verses that I was looking at this morning. I tried to memorize scripture and one of them, let's see if I get it right, but one of them says hear my cry, Oh God, listen to my prayer. And it's a Psalm. I think it's Psalm 56, three, I think. But anyway, hear my cry, Oh God, listen to my prayer.

[00:13:59] And I think [00:14:00] we need to do that often. We need to say those short little, you can call them flare prayers. where you shoot up a flare and you're like, Hey God, Hey, I'm here. I need some help. That's one. And the other one is give all your words and worries and cares that God free cares about you. And that's another one that is one of those constant reminders in the middle of the day that it's not in my control and it never will be.

[00:14:22] And whenever I try to control it, it's not going to work out. especially not in the way that God wants it to work out. Even if it seems as though from your perspective, your business is working out because you're in control of it. It's probably not the plan that God had for it in the first place. And so for me, consistent short prayers are really helpful.

[00:14:41] On Monday morning to give a real. Real practical thing that I encourage a lot of my clients to do, whether they believe or not, I encourage them to do this. Every Monday at 8am, I do a 30 minute CEO meeting where I'm hanging out with God and I'm praying through what's going on in the business and going, God, help me.

[00:14:59] What's going on [00:15:00] here? What do I do? Help me to be strong in this. Give me wisdom, whatever prayers are needed. And that has been huge. I've been doing it for over two years now. And that, that has been phenomenal for me. And then the third thing I would say is journal. And it ties to the self awareness part of the Blue Shirt Framework, but journal people don't journal enough, especially men, for whatever reason, men are a little bit reticent to journal but I call it 3D dimensional thinking because we're in our heads all the time.

[00:15:28] And that's 2 dimensions, right? We're thinking about we hear that voice in our head which is our thoughts. And then we think about those thoughts that we just heard in our head. But when you put it down on paper, you put those thoughts that you have down on paper or into your computer, however you want to journal, and you look at it, you go.

[00:15:46] Oh, wow. There's this third angle now, this third dimension of the way you can look at it. And especially when you put it down, when I type down the thoughts that I have or write down the thoughts that I have, metaphorically, I'm [00:16:00] letting it go. I'm putting it down. I'm setting it down before God. And I'm saying, this is yours.

[00:16:05] It's not mine anymore. And that's really hard because I pick it up often. Anyway, I was gonna say,

[00:16:09] Scott Maderer: I tell people all the time. I'm like, I'm really good at giving things to God. I'm not so great at leaving them there.

[00:16:15] Kyle Gillette: Exactly. And I agree. And that's why I struggle. Yeah. And that's why it's a daily habit versus you do it one time and I wish I could let go of certain things one time and be over it.

[00:16:25] So those are a few things that I've done over the years to help you. integrate faith into my business personally. And there's things I do with others that I could share, but I'll stop there for now. Let's talk

[00:16:37] Scott Maderer: a little bit about the work you do. So you have the blue shirt coaching you talk about the, we mentioned it in the intro the blue is an acronym as well, and talks about a different areas unpack a little bit about This framework, how did you come up with it?

[00:16:55] Why is this kind of your approach to the work you do with business

[00:16:58] Kyle Gillette: owners? [00:17:00] Yeah. When I started my business about five and a half years ago, I realized about three, four months in that disk, which was the tool that I was using and still use to create workshops and interact with people. And I love the tool.

[00:17:13] I still use it, but it wasn't mine and I can't do whatever I want with it. I can't claim it to be mine because it's not. And so at that time, I didn't know what it was called, but I needed my own intellectual property. And so I needed to create some IP and somehow, probably with little guidance from God, I knew, Oh, I need to create something that fits me.

[00:17:33] That's my part of my personality, but also makes sense to a lot of people. So I started to come up with acronyms. I have about 25 to 30 acronyms in my business that I use to help me understand what I do and help people understand what they can do. And I knew acronyms helped me remember things. So I started to try to come up with them, and I had acronyms that were like two S's and a P and a D.

[00:17:55] So that's not memorable. SSPD whatever. Sounds like some sort of police department.[00:18:00] It's not gonna, it's not gonna fit. So I came up with some other letters and stuff, but it never came together. And one morning, 3 a. m. in the morning, I wake up. Often people wake up at 3 a. m. in the morning, but I woke up and I heard a voice say to me, self awareness.

[00:18:16] And I went, Oh, my gosh, that's it. And self awareness isn't some dramatic word or anything like that, but it was the word I needed. And so I got up, ran into the kitchen, sat in my shivering at the kitchen table from 3 to 7 in the morning, and I started writing out the beginnings of what became Blue Shirt Coaching.

[00:18:35] But that self awareness component was what. I needed to really create the foundation of the framework that I have. So that was a really cool experience. And that's why it's not mine. It's really not mine ultimately. And I can, it's really easy for me to see that because of that 3am wake up.

[00:18:56] Scott Maderer: When you think about the framework, [00:19:00] so how do you use it with the folks that you work with?

[00:19:04] You'll walk through or give a couple of examples of how does that show up in the coaching that you do?

[00:19:10] Kyle Gillette: Yeah, a lot of people come to me with a surface level struggle of some sort they're not productive. They're struggling to lead. There's something going on. And I call it, they're in a state of S.

[00:19:21] O. S. right? So there's, they're stressed out. They're overwhelmed and they're stuck. Most of the time that's tied to 2 things. And then later we see that it's tied to a 3rd thing. It's tied to a lack of accountability. So they have wonderful intentions and they're accomplishing probably 80 percent of what they want to accomplish.

[00:19:40] But that 20 percent they can't figure out how to create that accountability to pull it off. And so when you tie in accountability. and self awareness, which is what I'm doing with them, then inevitably growth happens. And when you start to grow, now you have the opportunity to empower other people.

[00:19:59] So for me, that [00:20:00] one of the first steps is I have them take an assessment. I walk through the results of what they mean. And it's fascinating. I did it yesterday with a new client. And as I'm walking through the results, he's just giggling and laughing the whole time because what I'm describing to him exactly describes him.

[00:20:16] And then some of the opposites are exactly describing his wife. And he's everything's starting to click in higher and higher degrees of why things aren't going exactly the way that he thought they could in work or in business, or excuse me, work or in the home life. And so these clicking. Things that are happening creates that new self awareness.

[00:20:37] And when you have that, then my clients can make those shifts. They can make those. They're all really subtle changes, but to stick with them, you need that accountability. So I teach people and I can walk through the way that I do it, but I teach people how to create that accountability in their life.

[00:20:53] So they can follow through and get to that next 20 percent that they need to get to. So that's really where I start [00:21:00] there. And of course you're setting goals associated with the new awareness and so on and so forth. So

[00:21:08] Scott Maderer: yeah, let's dive a little deeper. Give an example of where you would start with somebody.

[00:21:13] So a lot of folks that are listening are probably in that. Feeling stuck. That's a lot of the messaging that we do here. And a lot of them are business owners or would like to be a business owner. Maybe they have a side hustle or something else that they're working on.

[00:21:29] And they often feel I've gotten it to a certain point. But now I'm at the lid, I can't figure out how to. Move to the next level, whatever that might be bringing on employees that might be a higher revenue goal that might just be getting things done quicker and having more clients and whatnot.

[00:21:52] What, how would you start with somebody like that to, to begin as a practical example of do you have a tool or technique, somebody in that [00:22:00] situation or a tip that they would maybe begin and

[00:22:03] Kyle Gillette: be able to start with? Yeah, for sure. So often we get to a place where we lose motivation that's where people are when they hit that point.

[00:22:11] They're going, man, I'm stuck. They've lost motivation. They have the capability. It's that's not an issue. So what I teach people is something that I call an accountability pass. And that PASS is an acronym and that's what helps them overcome. Often overcome the motivation issue because really we're talking about a goal that they're trying to accomplish, right?

[00:22:30] The goal could be habitual or the goal could be off in the future. And it's a finite do in 2 years kind of goal. But either way, when you apply this. acronym, it makes that goal happen. It makes it possible. So P. A. S. stands for four things. It's passive accountability, active accountability, structures, and self accountability.

[00:22:51] So walking you through it, passive accountability would be like this. So Scott, what do you want to accomplish in the next 90 days to a [00:23:00] year? What's a goal you'd like to accomplish?

[00:23:04] Scott Maderer: Using that example let's say that they're wanting to begin. Now what do you want? Oh, you want me?

[00:23:12] Okay. Actually for me right now, that my big focus is I've got a book coming out soon. So it's finishing up the book and getting that out there in the world. Okay.

[00:23:25] Kyle Gillette: Awesome. So what is the reason behind wanting to publish that book and get it out to the world? There's two

[00:23:32] Scott Maderer: main ones. One is, it's a way of getting the thoughts that I've had, the work that I've been doing, things I've been putting out in the podcast, and putting it all together into one neat thing.

[00:23:44] package as opposed to spread out over 7, 000 different pieces and puzzles and whatnot. And then the other is just because I truly think that it's a message that can help others and serve others that are feeling [00:24:00] some of those stuck things that we were just talking about, quite frankly.

[00:24:04] Kyle Gillette: Awesome. And when they get it, what does it do for them?

[00:24:07] Scott Maderer: So it walks them through a kind of a three part activity that they can do to identify where, why they're feeling held back from reaching their calling and then begin to put that puzzle together so that they can take positive steps in that direction.

[00:24:24] Kyle Gillette: Awesome. Okay. So now for the listeners and for you, Scott, we've, what we've discovered is the why behind the book, right? Why do you want to accomplish this goal? Whatever the goal is that people are listening or thinking about. Then you go, what would it look like to have accomplished that goal?

[00:24:44] So now you create language around the goal as if it's already happened. You're holding your book in your hand, Scott, and you go, this book, the cover is beautiful. Over 2, 000 people have purchased this book, and you've received several emails, [00:25:00] and I'm, and you're enjoying. Flipping through the pages as you sit in your living room and it's raining outside.

[00:25:07] It's beautiful. It's a wonderful experience to know that there's over 2000 people that are already benefiting from this book, and it's only been a few months since it's been sold and it makes you feel so good. So you're creating. And if you were to do this with me, you'd create. an even clearer picture, right?

[00:25:22] So you're projecting a future out there as crystal clear as you possibly can. And what that's doing is it's telling your unconscious mind what to achieve. And you're creating a picture that your unconscious mind doesn't know the difference between the reality of what is going on and this imagined future, right?

[00:25:39] So I call them present, I call them future tense goals. So you're creating a goal that's out into the future and your mind has to go and achieve it. So that creates this passive accountability within yourself, but then you go and tell a ton of people about this goal that you want to accomplish.

[00:25:55] So you tell 50 people that you're trying to accomplish this goal. [00:26:00] And then every once in a while, some of them will follow up with you and say, Hey, what's going on with that book, Scott? How far along are you? What can I see a draft of it? And that also keeps you accountable, right? So that's passive accountability.

[00:26:12] The A in PASS is active accountability. And that would be one of those people that followed up with you. You reach out and say, Hey, John, thanks for following up with me. Would you be interested in meeting on a weekly or biweekly basis to talk about your goals? And I'll share what's going on with my goals and we can make sure to hold each other accountable to make them happen.

[00:26:30] That's active accountability and it's. Beautiful. That's the, that is the heart of what makes this work. When you're in that place of stuckness, when you're in a place of overwhelm, when you have that person that could be a coach, or it could be a friend, could be a mentor, whatever, when you have that person that shows up consistently that you're reporting to, that shifts a ton of things.

[00:26:50] Then you get to the first S, which is structures. And to keep it simple, I break it down into two categories. The first category is to do lists. which is the plan. You were going to write a book. [00:27:00] You're writing a book. There's a plan. You can't just willy nilly write a book. You can't just willy nilly lose weight.

[00:27:04] You can't just willy nilly start a business. You need to have a step by step plan, and a lot of business owners do not. And it might be that in some areas they do. But where they're stuck, they probably don't have a real clear step by step plan. So if you've lost that motivation, do the P, the passive, do the A, the active accountability and create a very clear step by step plan.

[00:27:25] I know it's basic, but we lose sight of that. And when you create that step by step plan, I urge people to do it digitally because there's something about doing it digitally that allows you to create. Recurring tasks to create the system because if you create systems, then they're repeatable and that helps you to continually to stay motivated to keep your habits going.

[00:27:46] The other structure is your calendar on your task list is things you need to do on your calendar is the people you need to help you accomplish what you want to accomplish. And the people, of course, that you're going to be serving to the last s is [00:28:00] self accountability. Scott, have you ever jumped out of an airplane?

[00:28:03] before? No, I have not. Have you ziplined before? I have ziplined. Okay. So when you got up on the platform to do the first, let's say the first tree to tree, were you scared? Were you intimidated? Was there anything going on in you that was like, I'm not sure if I'm going to do this?

[00:28:24] Not so

[00:28:25] Scott Maderer: much that in part because my son was going to do it too. And so there was a little bit of a, I need to do this so that he's not afraid. So I can't. Be nervous about it and need to just go for it. Awesome. So that's cool. You make another point there, which is that's accountability.

[00:28:45] Kyle Gillette: He was passively keeping you accountable because he was present. And then you kept him accountable actively by jumping off the platform, which is great. My point here is when you get up to the platform, you've decided that you're going to zip line. You've made that decision. You're [00:29:00] going, I'm going to do this.

[00:29:00] I'm going to, I'm going to go off this platform, but some people that have jumped out of airplanes or have done a zip line, they can climb back down that ladder or just be like, no, I'm going to throw up. I'm going to get sick. I'm going to pass out. I can't do this. And so they have it committed. So self accountability is about commitment.

[00:29:16] What is it that we need to do to truly and fully commit to this goal? So for me, for instance, when I, a year and a half ago now, my wife and I went Okay. She's going to be done working and I'm just going to run the business and that was a commitment to the business. I get it. There was no, there's no more turning back like this is it for the family and that's the type of commitment we need to make to keep us motivated because there is no, you can't.

[00:29:44] you can't put your hand to the plow and look back is in scripture. And it's the same idea here. If you're going to put your hand to the work, don't look back on what it was, because that never will help you. So you're going toward the goal instead of looking away, looking back at what you're going away from.

[00:29:59] So that's [00:30:00] the accountability pass. And when people deploy this into their business and into the way that they approach the things they want to achieve, the likelihood of success skyrockets into like the nineties.

[00:30:11] Scott Maderer: So let's shift a little bit. You work a lot with leaders and business owners and those folks.

[00:30:17] And often going back to earlier when you were talking about mentoring the guys we have people in our circle. That may be an employee. It may be like, you were just talking about your spouse, maybe like the example I used of my son behind me whatever it is, we have these people around us and we're showing up as a leader for other folks.

[00:30:39] What are some of the ways that. We as leaders can help and lift up those around us. So they begin to get. empowered and more driven themselves more moving forward the way they need to be.

[00:30:54] Kyle Gillette: Yeah. What was the last movie that, that you saw, Scott, that you were like, wow, this [00:31:00] movie is phenomenal or TV show even that you're like this is

[00:31:03] Scott Maderer: excellent.

[00:31:04] I don't watch much TV, so I can't go to a TV show, but last movie where I was really impressed with it and felt like it was an awesome movie. That's a different question than the last movie I've seen. Let me. I think probably was the. original Black Panther film. So the first one, not the second one, not the sequel, but the first one.

[00:31:33] Okay.

[00:31:34] Kyle Gillette: So when you watch that, were you in the theaters by any chance? Okay. Did you find yourself sitting up and at the edge of your seat, like quite literally, and just you're wrapped with attention to the movie screen and There's probably all kinds of other stuff going on, popcorn being eaten, noises happening, but you were locked in, right?

[00:31:54] Scott Maderer: For the most part, yeah. Yeah,

[00:31:56] Kyle Gillette: this is when we want to empower people and [00:32:00] to truly help people, we want to start with the assumption that they are amazing, that to give them our full undivided attention, like we do an excellent movie is the way to start. They're they're fascinating. To start with the thought that they are fascinating, even if you know nothing about them, start with the thought that they're fascinating.

[00:32:24] Assume that they are. Assume that their story is amazing. No matter what that story is, assume it's amazing. That creates a very different engagement in your mind with them. So now your unconscious mind is going, okay, this person is amazing. You've told your unconscious mind to go find why this person is amazing.

[00:32:40] And so the way that you interact with them shifts the way that you see them shifts. And so all the things that they're throwing at you, all these different bits of information that they're throwing at you changes. the way that you see them now. So you grab different bits of information that proves that they are fascinating.

[00:32:57] Great. Now that you're fascinated with [00:33:00] them, you can study them. That's the second step. Study them. If you're going to empower somebody, you need to know them deeply. And you can study them primarily by conversation, by asking questions, by observing them. I'd study my clients by doing the assessment with them.

[00:33:14] And then of course, I'm asking them questions all the time throughout the coaching. coaching relationship. When you do that, then now you've got this level of commitment to them where you're going, wow, this person's fascinating. Now I know them deeply or intimately because I've studied them. And now you can truly help them to think you can truly help them to think for themselves.

[00:33:35] And be listened to, right? Because you're fascinated by them. So you want to listen to them. It's not about you. And how do you do that? You ask open ended questions, right? They bring you a problem. You say what do you think you can do about this? Simple open ended questions and that allows them to think for themselves that.

[00:33:54] That's a whole, I do hours long workshops on that 3rd piece there. So I can't go into [00:34:00] it, but essentially you're giving them the space to feel safe and at ease to think for themselves. And that's what most people cannot do. They don't know how to do it because they're waiting for people to affirm them.

[00:34:12] They're waiting for people to move, help them move forward in the conversation instead of. just being present, that person that's listening, just being present and letting the other person think. And that's a whole nother topic. But so you do that. And then finally, there's two things, two more things you celebrate, right?

[00:34:29] You celebrate them and you really celebrate them along the way, whatever they've accomplished, whatever they fail at, whatever they get feedback from, you celebrate that. And you do it in a way that's about their character and effort, not about smarts or about result necessarily. It's more about effort.

[00:34:46] You celebrate the person versus the product. And when you do that, that shifts the way they see you, the way you see them. And then that is truly empowering. And finally, you've got to hold them accountable. If you want to empower somebody, you got to hold them accountable. [00:35:00] You got to make it clear what the assignment is and make sure it aligns with who they are and then hold them accountable to it.

[00:35:05] So that path is what really great parents do with their kids, if you think about it, and what greater leaders do with the employees and the people that they

[00:35:16] Scott Maderer: lead. Yeah, I always laugh because I say there's a lot of analogies between parenthood and good leadership, at least if it's done well, that doesn't mean you treat your employees or the people that you're leading like their children.

[00:35:28] That's not what you're saying by that, but the techniques are somewhat similar in some ways. Now, obviously. You also do things differently too because you don't lead a six year old the same way you lead a 16 year old or a 66 year old. But yeah there's

[00:35:45] Kyle Gillette: reality. So lemme give you example.

[00:35:46] Go ahead. From my client. So there's this lady that I work with that runs a nonprofit and she's wanting to take it nationally and increase the revenue. Or the donations significantly so can go [00:36:00] nationally. And so we were having conversations about that and she had a number of the number was $200,000 in her mind.

[00:36:07] And she's visionary. I've studied her because I've worked with her for a bit. So I know that she's visionary and I know that for her, when she catches a good vision that launches her and it gets. creates clarity of her thinking and it motivates her in really powerful ways. Not everybody's visionary.

[00:36:25] So this attempt, this approach doesn't work for everybody. It could be overwhelming. And so I said, I challenged her. I said, what if you 10 X that number? What would that do for you? That's all I said. And she just blew up. It was like her head popped off her neck. She was so excited about that prospect. And then I didn't have to really say anything the rest of the conversation because she knew what to do.

[00:36:46] That's all she needed. She knew exactly what to do, and that little pivot to the idea of going to 2 million instead of 200, 000 catalyzed so many other things, but I asked that question because I knew her, I'd studied her, and I'm [00:37:00] fascinated by what she's doing, and so that opened my thinking to what could be possible for her.

[00:37:05] So that's an example of true empowerment of someone. So I've got a

[00:37:12] Scott Maderer: few questions that I like to ask all of my guests, but before I go there, is there anything else about the work you do, the coaching that you do, that you'd like to make sure that the listener hears,

[00:37:23] Kyle Gillette: I would say with. With my clients, I've discovered people come in with, they want to be more productive or they want to grow their business and all those things are great.

[00:37:35] I want to help them do that. But ultimately what they need is that accountability. They need, they aren't alone. They feel alone. They feel on an island. And when they have someone that says, Hey, you said you're going to do this and you didn't what's happening. How come that happened that way? What do you want to do about it?

[00:37:51] We need that really badly, especially when we're at the top of the mountain and we're running our own organization, our own business. And so whether they know it or not, often that's [00:38:00] why people come to me. And that's probably why they come to you, Scott. And I need it too. I need someone to be up there with me as well.

[00:38:09] Scott Maderer: Yeah. Accountability is something that I think we often treat as a dirty word, but the truth is we all need it and actually crave it. We just. What we've mistaken for accountability is someone quote nagging us. And it's that's not what actual accountability is.

[00:38:27] That's a completely different kind of behavior. Yep. So one of the words I run things through this brand of stewardship, inspired stewardship, and stewardship is one of those words, like leadership. It means a lot of different things to a lot of different people when they hear it, they hear different things.

[00:38:44] So when you hear the word stewardship, what does that mean to you? And What is the impact of that understanding had on your life?

[00:38:51] Kyle Gillette: Yeah. Stewardship. Obviously a lot of people think of the money connotation and I think that's there. But the first thing that comes to mind is actually me [00:39:00] stewardship of the resources that are within me, that God has given me, the skills and talents that I have, the ability, the abilities that I have to learn the abilities that I have to improve in my ability to learn and to grow.

[00:39:11] We've, we're only given one life, one chance. And so to me, we need to steward that. opportunity as best as we can. And if you do that, everything else falls into place. So stewardship of your skills, your knowledge, your abilities, and also an improvement towards it would be one angle. And then whatever comes from that, right?

[00:39:31] So if it's a lot of interaction with people, stewarding those interactions, if it's a lot of income stewarding, what you've been given as a result of taking care of others and producing things and using that to serve other people. not to serve yourself. In the process, you might end up serving yourself, but ultimately the focus is what can I do with the gift, with the time, talent, and treasure that I have to serve other people, right?

[00:39:57] Build yourself, grow yourself, but then what can you do [00:40:00] with that to serve other people and ultimately God? So this is

[00:40:04] Scott Maderer: my favorite question that I like to ask for everyone. Imagine for a moment that I invented this magic machine and with the power of that machine, I could take you from where you sit today and transport you into the future, maybe 150, maybe 250 years.

[00:40:21] But through the power of this machine, you were able to look back and see your entire life and see all of the connections, all of the ripples and all of the impacts you've left behind. What impact do you hope you've

[00:40:31] Kyle Gillette: had in the world?

[00:40:36] I think there's a lot of people. I know there's a lot of people that don't really believe in themselves enough and they don't believe. in what they're capable of. They don't understand what they're capable of. And so I would hope that through my life and through the work that I'm doing, that those people would be able to make the shifts.[00:41:00]

[00:41:00] And realize what they're capable of. There's a, God gave me a vision one time when I was driving my car, I was asking him for it for months and months. And he said to me that my vision was to help thousands of business owners shift their mindsets and habits so that he can transform their hearts.

[00:41:16] So my job to steward that vision is to get really good at helping people to understand their mindsets and their habits. And when I do that, God will shift their lives and transform their hearts. So my. Hope would be that there would be a legacy of that happening, right? Of people's lives shifting because their mindset changed because their habits changed.

[00:41:38] And then that allowed them to get closer to God. And then their hearts were transformed, whether they believe or not at this point. So that's the path that I'm on. And how many people I'm going to impact? I don't know. I hope it's thousands.

[00:41:58] Kyle,

[00:41:59] Scott Maderer: as we [00:42:00] finish out this year and launch into next year, what's coming next for you and for Blue Shirt Coaching? I'm wrapping up 15 days. At N L P program. So 15 eight hour days, in Phoenix learning neurolinguistic programming, and I use that already. So for me, what next year is what I was just saying, but creating all the shortcuts to get there for people.

[00:42:26] Kyle Gillette: So N L P helps you to create the shortcuts to shift mindsets, to shift habits. So for 2024 the shift for me is gonna be speed for my clients. They're going to come to me with some sort of struggles in their business or their life, and I'm going to be able to help them transition out of those struggles really quickly because of the train I just received.

[00:42:45] And the training I'm in the midst of in the moment. And so I'm super excited about what that looks like. And additionally, 2024 looks like a lot more mastermind. approaches, a lot more group coaching, and a lot more [00:43:00] speaking. So all that comes together, especially with right now, leadership, having been out there in the world and people liking the book and getting a lot of benefit from it.

[00:43:12] Scott Maderer: You can find out more about Kyle Gillette over at his website, blueshirtcoaching. com. Of course, I'll have a link to that over the show notes as well. Kyle, is there anything else you'd like to share with the

[00:43:24] Kyle Gillette: listeners? Yeah, I think. To bring it to stewardship and to bring it back around to self awareness and accountability that all that together.

[00:43:35] I want to encourage people to take time to think about what the questions are that you ask. What types of questions are you asking yourself and asking others? Because when you create and ask great questions, you're creating. Powerful thinking. And thinking is what moves this world. If you have really good thinking, then really good things happen.

[00:43:58] If you ask bad questions of [00:44:00] yourself or other people, crappy thinking happens and not very good outcomes. So I want to challenge people just to consider what are the questions that you ask yourself? And what are the questions that you ask other people? And the more powerful those questions can be, the more impactful you'll get to be.

[00:44:14] And that. I believe is a great stewardship of who you are and those that you get to influence.

[00:44:25] Scott Maderer: Thanks so much for listening to the Inspired Stewardship Podcast. As a subscriber and listener, we challenge you to not just sit back and passively listen, but act on what you've heard and find a way to live your calling. If you enjoyed this episode please do us a favor, go over to inspired stewardship.

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