Episode 1246: Develop Your Influence - Interview with Treveal Lynch from I am The Possible – Part 3

[00:00:00] Scott Maderer: Thanks for joining us on episode 1,246 of the Inspired Stewardship Podcast.

[00:00:06] Treveal Lynch: I'm Treveal Lynch, and I challenge you to invest in yourself, invest in others, develop your influence and impact the world by using your time, your talents, and your treasures to live out your. Having the ability to see the possibilities in yourself is key, and one way to be inspired to do that is to listen to this The Inspired Stewardship Podcast with my friend Scott Maderer.

[00:00:40] So many people are saying, Hey man, do you understand me? Do you get where I'm coming from? Do you understand my pain? Do you know what I went through last night? Do you know the conditions that I'm in? Yes, we have SU success stories all over the place, but we have a lot more pain, suffering, depression, anxiety, fear, worry.

[00:00:59] Scott Maderer: [00:01:00] Welcome and thank you for joining us on the Inspired Stewardship Podcast. If you truly desire to become the person who God wants you to be, then you must learn to use your time, your talent, and your treasures for your true calling. In the Inspired Stewardship Podcast, you will learn to invest in your.

[00:01:19] Invest in others and develop your influence so that you can impact the world.

[00:01:26] In today's interview with Travel Lynch, I asked travel about what he sees as real leadership. Travel also shares how he thinks we can best influence others, and I also ask him to share with you how he's developed his own skills to influence others. One reason I like to bring you great interviews like the one you're gonna hear today is because of the power in learning from others.

[00:01:50] Another great way to learn from others is through reading books. But if you're like most people today, you find it hard to find the time to sit down and read. And [00:02:00] that's why today's podcast is brought to you by Audible. Go to inspired stewardship.com/audible to sign up and you can get a 30 day free trial.

[00:02:11] There's over 180,000 titles to choose from, and instead of reading, you can listen your way to learn from some of the greatest. Out there. That's inspired stewardship.com/audible to get your free trial and listen to great books the same way you're listening to this podcast. Travel Lynch is a self worth specialist podcast host Arthur and founder of I Am.

[00:02:35] The Possible Travel comes from a challenging past, including much trauma that led to homelessness, crime, and eventually in. Today Travel is a father of four and husband of one. He's become an ordained pastor, a men's mentor, self worth specialist, corporate trainer, Arthur speaker and podcast host. His journey in life exemplify that idea of self transformation and his [00:03:00] company's philosophy.

[00:03:01] I and my possibilities are one and the. Everything. I hope to be tomorrow. I already am today. Welcome to the show, Tve.

[00:03:09] Treveal Lynch: Hey, thanks so much, Scott. I really appreciate this opportunity and really excited about being on the show today. Thank you so much for having me.

[00:03:16] Scott Maderer: So one of those things that. I it's a word that you hear a lot and a lot of times people think about this as influence and this is something that we were talking about the criteria that we have this is one of those things that gets put on that criteria list. How. And yet I've discovered over the years that when I ask people this, a lot of people define this in different ways, in different shapes and different forms, and that's one of the reasons I ask.

[00:03:42] And that's the word, leader, leadership. how do you define being a leader or being in leadership?

[00:03:49] Treveal Lynch: Yeah. I actually use it in terms or in the context of the word lead ship. I define it as leading from [00:04:00] within. Taking the lead within the ship and I'm a very visual person and love to try to draw analogies and I always just say picture a.

[00:04:11] And you're on a ship. I'm sorry you're on a ship or a boat and you're in the water. You're in the ocean. And something arises, some crisis arises. Obviously, Jesus in the Bible that's a perfect example of leadership, but it's the person that says, We are in this thing together, and I'm going to, I'm gonna take the lead.

[00:04:35] I'm gonna, I'm gonna initiate. What is the best course of action? What decisions need to be made here? How are we gonna be successful in our journey? How are we gonna make it from this side to that side? And that's the person that steps up and says, I'm gonna consider the route. The path, I'm gonna consider the elements.

[00:04:55] I'm gonna consider how people are feeling. I'm gonna consider where I am [00:05:00] as a person. I'm gonna consider the necessary tools and what are the necessary conditions for us as a group to be successful. So it's just leading within the ship is not the guy that's on the shore.

[00:05:15] Saying, Hey, paddle your own boat. Hey, come on man. I'm over here already. Let's go. Let's go. I'm here. Let's go. What are you doing? It's the person that says, Oh you got room for me? Okay, let me get in with you, and how can I

[00:05:28] now

[00:05:28] Treveal Lynch: best serve you? How can I be of service to the overall goal and mission of the collective?

[00:05:37] And now you just put that in whatever context that you have for yourself personally, right? You could be in your church, it could be on your job, it could be within your family, but you just make it applicable to your personal context.

[00:05:49] Scott Maderer: And I will just point out that Jesus, before he stepped up and took leadership in that particular boat, was taking a nap.

[00:05:56] Naps are good too. . That's right. [00:06:00] I have a shirt that says, Do what Jesus did take a nap. Oh, I love it. Yes. Yeah. Yep. Yeah, you there's several instances of that. Elijah was getting real cranky and God's Here's some food. Go take a nap now. Do you feel better? So hangry. Hangry is in the Bible too. , but yeah, the, that I love that analogy or that picture of leader within the ship too, because I think that, Also leaves it open to the idea of it's not just a positional thing, it's not just a you're not necessarily just talking about the captain in that case.

[00:06:34] See,

[00:06:35] Treveal Lynch: That's right. No, yeah. No, and what's beautiful about leadership is that it's fluid. Because if there's five or six guys in a boat, excuse me, and the current need is, let's say navigation. We need to go north. One of the five or six guys has a compass. Okay, I'm gonna pull my compass outta my pocket and hold it up, or do whatever you need to do to make a compass [00:07:00] work.

[00:07:00] And it's Oh, guys, okay, now we need to paddle this way cuz this is north. Okay, we got direction now you're good. But for that moment, you led. Now the next thing is, Hey guys, we need, I know, I don't know. We need some food to sustain us. Oh, I, you know what I brought some in my backpack.

[00:07:19] Okay, here, let me serve you guys here. Let's divvy up the Oh, now they're leading in that moment. And so it's fluid and I think that's the best way to, to be a part of leadership is not the ego. It's not to look at me. It's not the, I'm gonna stand out front and make sure everyone knows that I'm in charge.

[00:07:37] It's, man how can I play my position? How can I serve when it's my time?

[00:07:43] Scott Maderer: So what are some of the things that if somebody is thinking about developing their influence, leading others, doing these sorts of things, what are some of the mindsets or resources or tips that you would have for what

[00:07:56] Treveal Lynch: When it comes to influence you, [00:08:00] Influence for me is more about transparency than it is I don't know, showing strength and showing boldness and in the proper context there, there's always a need to be courageous or to be daring or to be confident.

[00:08:19] But when it really comes to influencing other people, at least for my journey, I've influenced more people. in and through my brokenness or in and through my suffering and in and through my ability to share where I am and really pull people into, Hey, this is where I am, and I can identify with where you are.

[00:08:42] One of the things that my, my senior pastor which is my cousin as well and I think he got it from John Max. I don't know if John Maxwell got it from somewhere, someone else, but they say no one. No one. Oh, I'm sorry. People [00:09:00] don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.

[00:09:03] Scott Maderer: Yeah. And that does predate John, but John made that very famous Okay.

[00:09:08] Treveal Lynch: So you're right. Yeah. Because

[00:09:09] Scott Maderer: of his influence. Yeah. John Maxwell is one of my mentors, so I've actually, I've had the privilege of being in a room with about 200 people and actually speaking to John personally and those sorts of things.

[00:09:18] But anyway, Keep, Yeah, keep going.

[00:09:20] Treveal Lynch: Yeah, so see, there you go. Yeah. So it's the, So for him to have coined it, it means that he said it very often and it means that he doesn't he it all the time. . See? See, so it's ingrained. And so he's living by that that philosophy, right? And so it's this idea that, If people don't care how much So it's not about boasting and it's not about being braggadocious and showing how much knowledge you have and all that.

[00:09:46] I've been around people who are I mean they have vast knowledge, wealth understanding a grip on a concept, but they have no influence over me. What. And I've seen them have no influence over others. [00:10:00] People just roll their eyes and whatnot because you're not connecting. I think influence is connection, and connection starts at the point of our pain.

[00:10:10] It's at the point of our suffering. So many people are saying, Hey man, do you understand me? Do you get where I'm coming from? Do you understand my pain? Do you know what I went through last night? Do you know the conditions that I'm in? Yes, we have su success stories all over the place, but we have a lot more.

[00:10:26] Pain, suffering, depression, anxiety, fear, worry, doubt. I'm going through this horrible situations, and those people want to say or want you to say, I get it. By you expressing and you sharing and you being transparent through your suffering. Cuz I don't care how much success you have, you're suffering or you're, you've been through something.

[00:10:49] And so if you're looking to have more influence over people start with transparency. Start with te telling your story with as much detail as [00:11:00] you're comfortable. where you are. You don't have to tell every little detail cuz some of that stuff, Hey man, that's your personal business.

[00:11:07] But you can tell enough of it in a general way to say, Hey, I get it too. I've been there too. So here's my pain and then here's my progress. I've felt what you've felt, been where you are done, what you've done, and this is how I've. That's where the inspiration happens. They need to identify and then they need to be inspired.

[00:11:28] Scott Maderer: So as a, an Arthur yourself as a podcaster, as a speaker doing all of this work obviously you have a degree of influence with others as well. How do you make sure that you stay focused on positive influence and putting out a message that, that you think helps make people move?

[00:11:49] Treveal Lynch: Yes. That's a very simple formula. . Two Part number one, I have made a personal commitment with myself and with society that I [00:12:00] will never share anything that I have not gone through myself. I won't share it unless I practice it almost practice what you preach walk what you talk.

[00:12:09] I hold that near and dear to my heart. So before I create a piece of content, Podcast episode. Stand on a stage, preach a sermon. It's gonna come out of my own personal experience, otherwise I don't need to be saying it. I just, that's just a standard. I just don't need to be saying it. I don't dabble in Theoretics and Oh I heard over there.

[00:12:28] No. If I'm not doing it, I'm not saying it. So it so that way it comes from a real place and people can know when you're gen, people know when you're genuine. They know when you're real and they can feel phoniness as well. So I always say I gotta come from that real place. And then the other thing is that I always speak to myself.

[00:12:48] I'm my worst critic. I'm my worst judge, right? I'm the person that compares myself the most. I speak to the younger version of me, [00:13:00] and I like to say that I speak to myself in the presence of others. Like right now, I'm going through a season right now, literally where it is extremely difficult on a personal.

[00:13:14] And I'm I'm gonna be up to to pray and to cover our service on Sunday. And this is this is a real thing. And it is been very difficult for me to really in a sense lift my head and praise the Lord and whatnot. And God's dealing with me and he's working through some things with me.

[00:13:33] And one of the things that he's reminding me of is to not allow my joy to be robbed of. My praise to be stolen from me. And so when I get up and I pray on this upcoming Sunday I have to pray where I am now. I know a lot of people are very used to. Oh, he's so charismatic. He's so dynamic.

[00:13:57] He's so passionate. Oh man, we can't [00:14:00] people have complimented me on, Oh man, your prayer is so powerful. Oh, when you pray, I hear this, I feel this. And that stuff can get in your ear. And depending on that just the you can start trying to live up to something. It's no, thank you. But I'm gonna keep a level head. I'm not gonna. All wrapped up into your praise cuz that can be here today and gone tomorrow. I share all that to say I can't pretend. So when I grab that microphone, it's going to be this is where I am and this is how I can pray in this moment.

[00:14:36] And whatever God wants to do. And God's gonna do whatever he wants to do in that moment. And just my covering of the service and the various things that I'll need to do. But I give that example to say that's how it's always being of integrity and it's always me speaking to me in the presence of other people.

[00:14:55] And they're gonna get what they need. I just

[00:14:57] Scott Maderer: trust that. Yeah. That, that, yeah, [00:15:00] that's the beauty and I like you I get the opportunity to preach Not infrequently. And I always love it when you've delivered a message. First off I'm like you. I always tell people, it's by the way, I'm, I, this is my sermon to myself.

[00:15:13] Y'all just get to listen in I'm preaching cuz I need to hear it now. Y'all just y'all can hang out and listen to me while I talk to myself. I love it. Cause I do the same thing. But then I've had the experience and I'm sure you have too, of somebody coming up to you. And actually back a few weeks ago you were talking about your experience.

[00:15:31] In prison and listening to the message, and you didn't really hear it, but this is what you took away from it. Yes. The interesting thing I've had is people come up to me and say, Yeah, oh, when you said this in your sermon, it was so powerful and I've got the sermon recorded and I never said that. Those words never came out of my mouth, literally or figuratively.

[00:15:51] There wasn't a point in the sermon where I said, and they're quoting they're saying, you said in quotes this is [00:16:00] what this sentence came outta your mouth. And it's no, , I didn't And that you have to go that well, okay? That's the Holy Spirit showing up. They heard what they needed to hear.

[00:16:09] It wasn't what you know, and it's not us. Delivering the word, it's the Holy Spirit. Yes. And that can get us in trouble too, , cause that's, again, back to your big head thing of sometimes it's, we start hearing that as well. Then that means, what I say is somehow more important or more valuable, or more powerful or more special.

[00:16:31] It's no . That's not how that works

[00:16:33] Treveal Lynch: either. Yeah. That's not how that works. That is not how that works. .

[00:16:37] Scott Maderer: Yeah. But it's easy to fall into that trap if you're not paying attention to it. So I think that's powerful. And then the other thing that came to mind is you were talking is, that's one of the beauties of Psalms and Jeremiah of recognizing that our message isn't just supposed to be to.

[00:16:56] in the moments of our highest points. It's [00:17:00] also sometimes we're at our lowest la Absolutely. Lamentation, anger. I've had that prayer with God where I'm yelling at him. I'm sure you have to. Yes. Yes. And God's big enough to hear that too. We can pray. Out of our anger, we can pray out of our laments, we can pray. Yes. All of those things god's there then too. That's right.

[00:17:24] And big enough to hear it cuz I think sometimes we try to filter even our prayer message, especially if we're doing public prayer. Yes. And yeah. God's there anyway, so might as well go ahead and say it.

[00:17:39] So when you do speaking, whether it's getting up to preach, whether it's doing a podcast episode whatever it is, how do if somebody else has those opportunities to speak and they're trying to get better at it, they want to do it in a more authentic way, how do you, what advice do you have [00:18:00] for others that wanna get better at delivering the speaking message?

[00:18:05] Treveal Lynch: Yes. I always start with sharing. Over skill. And presence over performance. Those are my two, cuz I even created like a little masterclass that I was developing on public speaking because so many people have come to me and said oh, you're articulate. I would love to speak like you yada.

[00:18:24] And so I say, maybe I'll put together a little course on speaking. And I love telling my testimony as one who came from stuttering and just having difficulty speaking. It was like, Man God can take someone who didn't wanna speak. Or to anyone to standing on a stage and being extremely comfortable with it.

[00:18:42] And so how can I use that to really bless other people? So the first one is sharing over skills. Yes, there is a skill set to speaking, especially in public. There's all types of courses and classes you can take. I've taken 'em all, seen 'em all, done 'em all. . Now I believe [00:19:00] that God's given me a gift of teaching as a spiritual gift, but still there are some skill sets that you need to develop.

[00:19:06] But what I've, but what I've discovered is that you can have all the skills in the world, but if you don't share from a genuine place, no one's gonna listen to you. I have been in the room with some dynamic speakers. Man, they knew all the skills, man. The

[00:19:23] opening,

[00:19:24] Treveal Lynch: the punchline, the make 'em laugh.

[00:19:26] They bring them down to emotional levels and yada y It's man he was textbook, No connection whatsoever. Eyes rolling over people looking at their cell phones. Share, share from your. Your speech could be as we would consider jacked up, choppy. You could be fumbling, stumbling all over the place, but if you come from a genuine place, meaning sharing your story, that emotional.

[00:19:56] Influence is far more important than [00:20:00] the perfection of your skills. That is not to say don't develop your skills. If you wanna get into public speaking, take the courses, learn the skills that's gonna make you more well rounded and better prepared. However, don't ever put the skills over a genuine share.

[00:20:16] And then the second thing is presence. Presence over performance, because we live. A world, but really a western culture that is so charismatic, so dynamic, So rah. So the making of heroes. We want to put people up on pedestals and we wanna put them on the camera in front of the camera. And everyone's Hollywood.

[00:20:40] You can get into performing and forget why you're even on that stage. It is for the edification of other people. I don't care what you're standing up. Valedictorian at school. Preacher in the pool, pit, public speaker at a nonprofit organization. Anytime [00:21:00] you take a mic, it is for the edification of other people.

[00:21:04] Yeah. It's not

[00:21:05] Scott Maderer: for you, it's for the audience.

[00:21:06] Treveal Lynch: Always. Yep. Yeah. So be present for them and don't. Don't perform if you feel nervous and anxious, cuz you have to. Okay, now as soon as I get on stage I've gotta take three steps and then spin around, and then the lights are gonna flash. If you're caught up in that, you know that you're trying to perform and you're so concerned about how you look.

[00:21:30] That you have forgotten your purpose for even being there and people. What I've discovered, my last tidbit of advice, what I've discovered is people don't really take you as serious as you think they do , right? You really think people are looking at your shoes and looking at the way you dress and looking at your hair and looking at.

[00:21:48] They're not concerned with that. People are sitting in chairs or they're showing up two events and they're saying, Can you help me? And all that other stuff goes out the window. So don't perform, be present. [00:22:00] Acquire your skills, but never forget to just share.

[00:22:05] Scott Maderer: Yeah. We talked about John Maxwell earlier and One of the questions I've asked John, cuz there's somebody that you go watch him speak and you go to the rules of public speaking, the the way you're supposed to do it the way, right?

[00:22:19] Yeah. He doesn't do any of that. He he comes out, he says to Sharon and goes I'm John and I'm your friend. That's literally, almost always the first words out of his mouth. You, I'm John and I'm your friend. He. Several doctorates and all of the, He doesn't, I'm not Doctor John, I'm just John See , not John C.

[00:22:39] Maxwell. He's just John and I'm your friend. And I asked him one time, I actually put went up to him and said John, you break all of the rules of public speaking. How is that? And he put his arm around me and he said, Scott, you know what? You have to follow the rules for a really long time before you get the right to.

[00:22:58] Wow. And [00:23:00] what he meant as he went on and we talked about it, is he said I did take all of the courses, I did do all of the formulas. I practiced all of that so that I could know and develop what was my authentic way of delivering my message. That's, oh, he says, But I had to do all this other stuff to find mine

[00:23:21] That's right. See, I hadn't gone through that then. I never would've gotten to mine. It's and I loved that because it's okay, that's it. Do what you just said of do the skills. Don't ignore 'em. But that's not the point. The point is to get to the point where you can, And be, I'm John and I'm your friend and 50,000 people will pay to hear him say that absolutely not because it's about 50,000 people. But my point is no one would argue that John Maxwell is not a good speaker. . No

[00:23:53] Treveal Lynch: No. You know what just to really quickly piggyback on that. No, absolutely not. Because he came here [00:24:00] we moved to California in 2000 and. In 2000 and I wanna say 2003, this was before I made a decision to, to go into the public space and to do podcasting or coaching or speaking before I made any decision.

[00:24:14] With that, we went he spoke at Faith. I wanna say its Faith community, but it was Faith something church in West Covina. and we were here in, in Pasadena. So it's about, I don't know, 20, 30 minutes away. But he had a conference or something that he had. This was my first time ever seeing him.

[00:24:34] I had read some of his books before, so I was of familiar, but I'd never seen him in person, never really watched any of his videos. So we go in and we were blessed through a pastor that knows a pastor. So we were blessed to get like front row. So I'm in arms length away from the stage and so he comes out, like you said, he comes out, there's nothing but a chair.

[00:24:55] There's a stand. There's a half full glass of water. Yep. [00:25:00] This man, I listen. No PowerPoints, no microphones no. No PowerPoints, No. No cameras, lights, bells, whistles. No. Cell phone in his hand. No prompter. No. This man walked out on stage and sat in that chair, took a sip of that water, and spoke for about two hours straight.

[00:25:21] And when I, and when he was. . I said, That's what I'm gonna do with my life. That's what I'm gonna do with my life. I'm, I made a decision. He inspired me to such a D degree. I said, That's what I'm gonna do with my life. I said, This guy has something that I've never seen before and I want it. He had the ability to come on a Kate.

[00:25:41] In such a beautiful and organic, like you knew he knew his stuff, but he needed no exterior components. , it was so embedded within him that he could show up and sit on a stage and not hide behind, Oh [00:26:00] next PowerPoint slide, guys, next PowerPoint slide, or, Oh let me take my notes, sir. He needed nothing.

[00:26:06] And I said, Man, that's what I wanna do with my life. So yeah. I just share that story to save, man that, that brother is the real deal, man.

[00:26:15] Scott Maderer: Yeah. No I, the real deal and. A, again, I've been around him. Number of times and everything. I can tell at least he's that way on the stage, off the stage whatever.

[00:26:27] He just he's just John and yep. And that's who he is. And you can again, you heard me call him John, cuz he insists on being called John. He doesn't wanna be called Mr. He'll tell you, you call him Mr. Maxwell. He's that's my dad, , ah, okay. Yeah. Don't call me that. Call me John. You can follow Trave Lynch on Facebook or Instagram as I am the possible, or find him on his website at i am the possible.com. Of course, he's also active over on YouTube as Trave Lynch. I am [00:27:00] the possible, I'll have links to all of this over in the show notes as well, trave. Is there anything else you'd like to share with the listener?

[00:27:07] Treveal Lynch: Yeah, I just want to, as I'm always given an opportunity to, or whenever I'm given an opportunity to is that I just want to encourage you, no matter where you are, no matter what you've accomplished, no matter what you've not accomplished that I really want you to really consider the fact that your existence is the evidence that you matter.

[00:27:29] The only reason that you're. Is because you matter. Your existence is the evidence that you need to prove and to show yourself where it matters most, that you matter. And be encouraged to take that journey of self discovery that journey of the inward journey. And to really seek out, to really search and to really secure an identity for [00:28:00] yourself that comes from within and not come from, or doesn't come from those things that are without on the outside of you.

[00:28:08] So that would be my number one encouragement.

[00:28:11] Scott Maderer: Thanks so much for listening to the Inspired Stewardship Podcast. As a subscriber and listener, we challenge you to not just sit back and passively listen, but act on what you've heard and find a way to live your calling. If you enjoyed this, Please. Please do us a favor. Go over to inspired stewardship.com/itunes.

[00:28:38] Rate all one word iTunes rate. It'll take you through how to leave a rating and review, and how to make sure you're subscribed to the podcast so that you can get every episode as it comes out in your feed. Until next time, invest your. Your talent and your treasures. [00:29:00] Develop your influence and impact the world.