Episode 1167 {Rebroadcast} Episode 12: Influence using your powers for Good….

[00:00:00] Scott Maderer: Thanks for joining me on episode 1,167 of the inspired stewardship podcast, a rebroadcast of episode 12.

[00:00:09] Jenny Toh: I'm Jenny toe. I challenge you to invest in yourself, invest in others, develop your influence and impact the world by using your time, your talent and your treasures. To live out your calling, having the ability to find alignment between your true values and your life is key. And one way to be inspired to do that is to listen to this, the inspired stewardship podcast with my friend, Scott madder.

[00:00:38] The

[00:00:38] Scott Maderer: truth is I had allowed a lot of negative emotion and negative thoughts about the debt to dwell in my life and begin to influence my mindset, my emotion, my behavior. I thought the debt was insurmountable. We'd never get out of debt.

[00:00:57] Welcome and thank you for joining us on the [00:01:00] inspired stewardship podcast. If you truly desire to become the person who God wants you to be, then you must learn to use your time, your talent and your treasures for your true calling in the inspired stewardship podcast will learn to invest in yourself, invest in others and develop your influence so that you can impact the world.

[00:01:23] In this week's episode, join in the conversation. As we talk about developing your influence, who do you influence in your life and how do others influence you? And I give you 15 specific tips that you can take to be a positive influence in others' lives this week. We're focusing on developing your influence.

[00:01:49] And if you listened to yesterday's great episode with Matt ham, he talked a lot about some of the things that you could do that would [00:02:00] help you to develop your influence, including things like humility and confidence and public speaking and various things. He also shared a very personal story with you about his journey through cancer.

[00:02:16] I wanted to call something out. It's entirely possible for you to believe that you have no one in your life that you influence that there's no one around you, that you have a tendency to influence in the things that you do and the things that you. But I wanna promise you that unless you live alone in a cave, somewhere up in the mountains and the wilderness, and if that's the case, then it's really awesome that you've managed to find this podcast because I'm not sure how you did it.

[00:02:53] Then you do have people around you that you influence for good, or for [00:03:00] ill, you can't help it. Human beings are social animals. We relate to each other and we influence each other all the time for good or for ill. So if you've asked yourself, do you influence anyone? The answer is certainly yes. And by the same token, there are people around you who are influences into your life for good, or for, I.

[00:03:31] Sometimes those are actual people who, you know, and who you speak to your spouse or your dear friends or coworkers or your boss. someone who's physically in your life. And sometimes those people who influence you are virtual or are remote or are books and other things that you allow into your life to begin to influence you.

[00:03:56] Turning on the news is allowing influence into your [00:04:00] life. Just opening the newspaper or a magazine or reading a book. And what you choose to allow into your life begins to affect who you are and what you believe. Jim Rome is famous for saying that you are the sum of the five people closest to you, and there's a lot of truth to that.

[00:04:25] But it doesn't even have to just be people. You could actually replace that and say, you are the sum of the five books that you last read, or you are the sum of the five TV shows that you last watched, or you are the sum of anything that you allow into your mind, into your heart and into your soul. And you can't help it.

[00:04:44] When you open your mind to these things, they begin to influence you. People influence you and conversely, you influence other people. So here's the question. Are you a positive influence on people [00:05:00] or are you a negative influence on people? Be honest with yourself and think about that.

[00:05:07] Do you have a tendency to when something happens? You're a glass full kind of person. You tend to look on the bright side of life. Are you somebody who's more of a pessimist, a glass empty kind of person, and you tend to look on the glass being half empty and the downsides. Are you a realist? The way I put it and you're somebody who looks at the world and tries to see it the way it really is.

[00:05:34] And all of these things, you can turn that kind of attitude into something that speaks positive influence into people's life or negative it. Now I'll be honest. It's hard to be a pessimist and always be a downer and be a positive influence. But even then you can be because you may be an example to someone else of how they don't want to live their life.

[00:05:58] But that's not the kind of [00:06:00] influence I suggest you set out to have. It's not great to be the influence. Who's the example. That's always held up as somebody. You don't want to be like, it's better to be an influence by showing people and allowing people to see in you how they would want to be. So I wanna give you 15 positive, practical tips that you can use this week to begin to be a positive influence on other people around you.

[00:06:28] Some of these, I'm gonna talk a little bit more about today and some of these I'll talk about in future episodes, but I wanna lay 'em out here and they're, if you can't keep up, if you're driving or if you're busy and you can't write all these down, I'll list them out on the show notes. So please just go to inspired stewardship.com.

[00:06:46] Slash episode 12, no spaces, just episode one, two all together. And it'll take you to the show notes and we do that for all the episodes. So if you ever wanna go there, just type it straight in and you'll go straight [00:07:00] to the show notes. So if you wanna be practicing, being a positive influence, the first.

[00:07:07] Thing you can do is begin to practice. Having a positive attitude, begin to practice, looking at things that you do and things that other people do and trying to always give people and yourself the benefit of the doubt, realize out, realize that your intention was good and other people's intention is probably good as well.

[00:07:35] try to look at things as a positive, not a negative there's two ways to see the situation. And one of them's good. And one of them's bad. Try to look at it the good way that can be really hard to do sometimes, especially in our own self talk. When we're talking inside of our own heads and talking to ourselves, it's very easy to begin to say things like [00:08:00] I am a failure or begin to say things like.

[00:08:04] I can't do this, but there's light years of difference between thinking to yourself, I am a failure and thinking to yourself, I failed at something I tried to do. One of those is a permanent situation. I am a failure. You can't do anything about that. the other is I failed and therefore I might be able to try again and not fail.

[00:08:33] I might be able to learn something new and succeed next time. There's action that I can take to change this situation. It's hard sometimes to remember that, especially whenever you've had a really bad experience, but it's true. So the first thing you can do is begin to cultivate a positive attitude and that takes practice.

[00:08:56] The second thing you can do is lead by example, [00:09:00] do what you say and say what you do. Don't be a hypocrite. Don't be someone who says do, as I say, not as I do. If you're talking to your kid about eating well and doing all of this, and then they see you constantly sneaking off for the junk food, they're not gonna buy into your argument.

[00:09:21] That eating well is a good thing. It's a little hard to convince them to eat their vegetables. If you don't eat yours. And that goes for everyone around you, if you're telling people to live a certain way and you're not living that way, if you're not able to live that out, Then it's better to not tell other people to do it because they're not gonna do it anyway.

[00:09:42] And they're definitely not gonna have a POS be positively influenced by you. The third way you can do this. Be confident in yourself, in what you know, in what you can do, [00:10:00] be confident in your own competence. And the fourth thing, and this goes right along with it. And Matt put these two things together as well, be humble, but authentic.

[00:10:13] So be confident, humble, and authentic those three and four. Those all go together. Cuz it's very easy to let confidence spill over into arrogance. That's what humility keeps you from doing. And it's also very easy to stop being humble with a reverse sort of situation. Somebody says, Hey, you're really good at that.

[00:10:38] And you say no, that's no big deal. Anyone could do it. Short selling your own talents is actually not. A good way of showing humble confidence. Instead it comes across as inauthentic and fake. So accept compliments, [00:11:00] authentically accept your own skills and be confident in those. The fifth way that you can have a positive influence on people around you.

[00:11:09] This week is teach don't preach it's wall. And good to tell people, Hey, be a positive influence this week. . But if you just tell 'em that and you never actually try to tell 'em some of the ways they can do it or show them some of the ways they can do it. Now you're just preaching. You're not teaching, you're not showing you're telling.

[00:11:32] So one of the ways that you can be a positive influence in anything within your life is begin to reach out and find ways to teach people rather than preach at. Number six, be knowledgeable. This goes along with that confidence, know what you know, and be confident in that knowledge, be someone that other people can depend on to know certain things.

[00:11:56] Number seven, have resources, have tools, have [00:12:00] books and have videos and have just knowledge in your own head and other things that you can share with people. And. Generous in the way you share those resources, be someone that people can depend on to know and to provide guidance for others. Number eight, when change has to happen, focus on trying to make that change positive rather than negative focus on taking the energy in a good direction, not a direction that drags others down.

[00:12:36] number nine, be compassionate to people have some forgiveness for them. Give 'em some grace. Remember you don't deserve the grace that God has given you. So just because someone may have done something that harmed you does not mean that they don't deserve your grace and forgiveness as well. Number 10.

[00:12:59] [00:13:00] Plug into likeminded people find the people around you that are also trying to be positive influences and connect with them, birds of a feather flock together.

[00:13:16] But

[00:13:16] Scott Maderer: it's also true that if you begin to hang around with negative people or you're gonna get more negative. so try to balance it. It's one thing to seek out somebody and try to speak some good into their life.

[00:13:28] That's a good and compassionate and kind thing, but you still have to have somewhere and some group and some people that can speak positivity into your life so that you can recharge your batteries. Number 11. And this is a really easy one, but it's also really hard. Smile, more. I used to carry around a little piece of paper and occasionally I'd keep a tally of how many times I smile during the day.

[00:13:57] And there were days when the number was [00:14:00] really small people talk about, I have a resting face that isn't a smile and that's true. I do my resting face by thinking face. Isn't a smile, but especially when I was in a leadership position and especially when I was seeking. A chance to influence people in a positive way.

[00:14:18] I tried to make sure that I had a smile on my face a lot more, and I began to become conscious of how much I could smile. Number 12, stay away from news and gossip. Especially bad news and let's face it. Most of the news that you get today seems to be bad news, remember garbage in and garbage out. Meaning if all you ever do is listen to the nagging Nellys and the gossiping guys who talk about how everyone is doing this and this person's doing that.

[00:14:52] And this person did that with this person and that this and that blah, and all they ever do is complain. that gossip [00:15:00] is a negative thing that begins to tear down an organization or a family or a community stay away from the gossip.

[00:15:11] Get permission from people that are key to you. This is number 13, get permission to challenge people that are close to you in a positive way. Get permission first, ask them for permission to speak into their life. Don't say, can I give you some advice? Because everyone says yes to that. And the answer's really.

[00:15:32] but tell them you're someone I really care about. And you're someone who I think could do great things and I'd really like to speak some challenging things into your life, but I need your permission before I do that. Because if I speak into your life challenging things, I'm afraid it's gonna alienate us and hurt our relationship.

[00:15:54] And so I would like your permission. Is that something I can do for you? And if they [00:16:00] say no, don't do it. , but if they say yes, begin to speak into their life, some positive challenges, things that they could do to make their life a little better. Number 14. And number 15, we're gonna talk about in some later episodes, in fact tomorrow's episode, but let me go ahead and lay 'em out now.

[00:16:21] And then we'll talk a little bit more about them during the time episode. Number 14 is find someone who is a master at something that you'd like to be and ask them out for coffee, show up with a pad and a paper, but ask them out for coffee. And number 15 is find someone who is struggling in an area where you are gifted and take them out for coffee too.

[00:16:50] So one of the things, one of the stories that I wanted to share when we're talking about becoming a person of influence [00:17:00] is an influential period in my life. of Like Matt shared his story with the cancer journey. One of my challenges comes out of depression. See I suffer from depression and several of the people in my family do several people very close to me do.

[00:17:16] And it's something that I've fought all my life. I've gone through therapy and I've had medication at various times. And right now I'm not having to do either of those, but it's something that I've had to learn how to deal. . And there was a period in my life where, because of some financial situations, because of some debt that my wife and I were in, I went through a period that was very dark and I began to consider committing suicide.

[00:17:48] The story as I, at that time, I was driving home at night is usually quite late at night or sometimes even early the next morning. And we live out in the country and you have to drive up this [00:18:00] long windy road to get to our house. And it was in the wintertime. And I began to think to myself, if I just drove off the road here late at night, people would think that I'd fallen asleep and therefore the insurance would pay out and it would take care of the debts that my wife and I faced, and my wife could start over in a better financial situation.

[00:18:26] This was before my son had come along and I felt like somehow this would be taking care of her in a way that was better than I could take care of her right now, myself, that leaving would be better than staying in this case, leaving in a very permanent way. The truth is I had allowed a lot of negative emotion and negative thoughts about the debt to dwell in my life and begin to influence my mindset, my emotion, my behavior.

[00:18:58] I thought the debt [00:19:00] was insurmountable. We'd never get out of debt. I thought there was nothing I could do. I had no power in this situation, by the way. That was all not true. But I felt it. And that dark feeling is what led to these thoughts of suicide. now the whole story. I've put out a few different ways.

[00:19:24] And if you go to inspired stewardship.com, you can find a link to a video where I talk about this and a few other posts where I talk about my dealing with this suicide. And I'll give you the short version now. I didn't do it. Obviously. I'm here talking to you now, but instead in, in my case, An influence came into my life through the radio.

[00:19:49] This is what I was talking about. It doesn't necessarily have to be a person who's physically in your life to be an influence. In my case, it was listening to the Dave Ramsey show on the radio. [00:20:00] And I argued with Dave Ramsey about getting outta debt. Yeah, I know he couldn't hear me, but I'm one of those people.

[00:20:09] I talk out loud to the radio when I'm in the car by myself. And I began to argue and fight with him. And then I began to realize that for the first time in weeks, I wasn't thinking about taking my life. And eventually I began to listen and my wife and I came together and we fought through the debt. We fought through that financial situation.

[00:20:36] One regret that I have is we fought through it together with each other, but we didn't find a community of influencers who could speak into our life in a positive way. Sure. We listened to the Dave Ramsey show and we read books and we did some other things, but we didn't seek out a coach or we didn't seek out a [00:21:00] community of friends who were also trying to do this.

[00:21:03] And this is something I would recommend. For people that are facing that kind of financial situation. We'll talk more about accountability in a later episode this week, but basically this idea of finding someone who can influence you when you're struggling is something that can really turn things around quickly.

[00:21:32] You can do it on your own, but it's so much hard. And remember that works both ways. If you're struggling with something, something find someone who can influence you in a positive way and realize that no matter how much you're struggling, there's something that you're good at. Something that you're called to do something that you have a gifting in, and you can use that to speak positive influence [00:22:00] into someone else's.

[00:22:01] And so 14 and 15 are about finding opportunities to do both of those things. Thank you for listening.

[00:22:12] Thanks so much for joining us and listening to the inspired stewardship podcast. As a subscriber, we challenge you to be more than just a passive listener, but act on what you've heard and find a way to live your calling. If you've enjoyed this episode, I'd like to invite you to go over to inspired stewardship.com and sign up there for our stewardship tips, where we'll focus on helping you improve the use of your time, your talent and your treasures.

[00:22:45] If you're in the us text stewardship to 44, 2 22 to S. Until next time, invest your time, your talent and your treasures. Develop your influence and impact the [00:23:00] world.