Episode 1109: Why Don’t We Trust?

[00:00:00] Scott Maderer: Thanks for joining me on episode 1,109 of the inspired stewardship podcast.

[00:00:08] Matt and Jocelyn Woodrum: I'm Matt and I'm Jocelyn from the family life movement podcast. We challenge you to find a way to balance your work and your family. And one way to be inspired to do that is to listen to this, the inspired stewardship podcast by my friend,

[00:00:24] Scott Maderer: Scott Mader.

[00:00:26] Is that idea of choosing to make something important to you and letting it be vulnerable to others? Because true trust at the end of the day is built on vulnerability. It is taking risk, and if you're not willing to take risks, then you're never willing to. Welcome and thank you for joining us on the inspired stewardship podcasts.

[00:00:52] If you truly desire to become the person who God wants you to be, then you must learn to use your time, your talent and your [00:01:00] treasures for your true calling in the inspired stewardship podcast. We'll learn to invest in yourself, invest in others and develop your infant. So that you can impact the world

[00:01:13] and today's episode about developing your influence through stewarding your talent. I talk with you about why it's hard to trust others. Sometimes I share six reasons we don't trust. And I talk about why the sixth one is one. We often overlook. You've heard me talk about developing your talent and what are the best ways to do that is through books.

[00:01:35] But if you're like most people today, it's hard to find the time to read. And that's why today's podcast is brought to you by audible. Go to inspired stewardship.com/audible to sign. And you can get a 30 day free trial. There's over 180,000 titles to choose from, and you can pick one and listen your way to developing your talents [00:02:00] via audible.

[00:02:01] That's inspired stewardship.com/audible to get your free trial and listen to great books the same way you're listening to this podcast. I hear a lot from people about how. I'll never trust anyone again when something's gone wrong. How that means that it's time to just stop trusting others. And I wanted to talk a little bit about why it seems like it's so hard at times to track.

[00:02:29] People, like we talked about yesterday, trust is that idea of risking ourselves and depending upon what someone else does or says, or how they act, it's putting ourselves at risk for someone else. And if you think about it, trust is a, always about a relationship between people. And what, how we learn and know what to expect from our relationships comes often from our [00:03:00] history and our experiences.

[00:03:02] It comes from how our past relationships have been, what boundaries and limitations and actions. And in fact, whether or not we trust ourselves comes from that as well. We often look to ourselves and say, we know ourselves we'll label ourselves, we're worthy or worthless. We're shy or outgoing, we're lazy or dedicated or directed or driven or good or bad.

[00:03:30] We'll label ourselves with things that we say are true of ourselves. And that means when something goes wrong. We often look to ourselves as the reason why, when we break our own boundaries, when we do something out of alignment with what we think we are, then we have trust issues with ourselves. Say the truth is we often struggle with trust because we have this [00:04:00] belief that number one, what goes around, comes around this idea of karma and payback.

[00:04:07] And because of that, we often feel like we don't get the trust we deserve. And then we don't give that trust to others as well. We often don't worry about trust because we believe we do a good job. And people should trust us, but we then turn around and think that others aren't trustworthy. We act in a way that our words don't align with our actions.

[00:04:33] We say we believe something, but then we don't act as if we believe it. We say that family is important, but we don't spend time or energy or effort with our faith. With our family. We look and do things in a blanket way where we lump people together in groups. We treat everyone the way that group is.

[00:04:55] We stereotype people into certain actions and I [00:05:00] think we all misunderstand what trust really is. And oftentimes when we're talking about trust, we're actually talking about different things. Bernay brown talks about having boundaries. She actually uses the acronym braving, and she talks about having boundaries, having reliability, having accountability.

[00:05:24] What she calls a vault, integrity, non-judgment and generosity. As a way of trust. The idea of you have to be clear about what your boundaries are. You have to actually walk the walk, be reliable, say what you mean and mean what you say and do what actually you say you're going to be able to do.

[00:05:47] You have to be willing to hold yourself and others accountable. The vault was an interesting one. It's about basically making sure that we're not [00:06:00] sharing information about others, that they perhaps don't want shared having integrity. Is important as well, not just doing what's fun, faster, easy, but actually being willing to do the hard things, looking at others with non-judgment or generosity are the last two.

[00:06:19] The idea of doing that because the truth is, I think when we look at trust, At the end of the day, that overlooked six thing other than the five I talked about earlier is that idea of choosing to make something important to you and letting it be vulnerable to others. Because true trust at the end of the day is built on vulnerability.

[00:06:46] It is taking risk, and if you're not willing to take risk, then you're never willing to trust. Thanks for listening.

[00:06:55] Thanks so much for listening to the inspired stewardship [00:07:00] podcast as a subscriber and listener, we challenge you to not just sit back and passively listen, but act on what you've heard and find a way to live your call. If you liked this episode on the stewardship of talent, you can go over to inspired stewardship.com/talent and sign up for our five week series on the stewardship of talent.

[00:07:26] Or if you're in the us, you can text 4, 4, 2, 2, 2 talent tips. That's talent tips to 4 4 2, 2, 2, and get those tips until next time. Invest your time. Your talent and your treasures develop your influence and impact the world.