Episode 1060: Don’t Talk About Money

[00:00:00] Scott Maderer: Thanks for joining me on episode 1060 of the inspired stewardship podcast.

[00:00:07] Rich Lewis: I'm rich Lewis. I challenge you to invest in yourself and invest in others. Develop your influence and impact the world by using your time, your talent and your treasures to live out your calling. Having the ability to listen to the voice of God is.

[00:00:21] And one way to be inspired to do that is to listen to this, the inspired stewardship podcast with my friend Scott Mader.

[00:00:29] Scott Maderer: because the truth is every time we talk about money, we're talking about way more than dollars. It's why, when I think about the Keystone habits, how we handle our time, how we handle our money is so important. And what is really about is how we handle ourselves. Welcome. And thank you for joining us on the inspired stewardship.

[00:00:54] If you truly desire to become the person who God wants you to be, then you must learn to [00:01:00] use your time, your talent and your treasures for your true calling in the inspired stewardship podcast. We'll learn to invest in yourself, invest in others and develop your influence so that you can impact the world.

[00:01:16] And today's episode about investing in yourself through stewarding your treasures. I talk with you about why we often don't talk about money. I also talk about why we should, especially with those close to us. And I also share how, when you talk about money, it's important to realize you're really talking about more than money as we talk about stewarding your treasures.

[00:01:38] Wouldn't it be great. If you could support this podcast and do it without costing yourself an extra dime. It turns out you can. All you have to do is use inspired stewardship.com/amazon. When you're ready to make a purchase via Amazon and a small commission, we'll come back to support the show. If you enjoy the show, when you're [00:02:00] ready to buy from Amazon, just use inspired stewardship.com/amazon.

[00:02:05] Never talk to anyone about. That seems to be the advice that most of us got at some point in our life. And now granted, you've probably heard that if you're in mixed company or if you're in a group where you don't know everyone you should be cautious and stay away from topics like money, sex, politics, and religion, because they can be offensive and create arguing.

[00:02:30] And I'm not suggesting that you just walk into every group and talk about money. But at the same time, I've noticed that people are very reluctant to talk about their money. They're really worried about it. And oftentimes even if it's like a husband and wife, they don't talk to each other. Or if it's a parent with children, they don't talk to the kids.

[00:02:51] They don't talk to each other. If it's a single person and they've got some really close. Known friends. They don't talk with [00:03:00] them. We don't tend to talk to anyone about our money. And I think part of that is that when we worry about it, because we feel like we're going to be judged in some way. And I'll talk about some of the reasons why we don't.

[00:03:18] Talk about money. And then I'll talk about why we should be talking about money, that there was some surveys that have been out that say something like 80% of Americans have had a serious financial discussion with their partner and married folks. Think about that. Not a hundred percent 80. Now 80% is still good, but it's probably not as good as we would like it.

[00:03:43] And what's more, I think, included in that 80% is people who are constantly fighting about money. They're not really communicating. They are having some serious discussions about finances, but their fights and tearing each other down. And there are people that [00:04:00] share their money online. You can find blogs and books.

[00:04:04] Put out their monthly earnings statements and these sorts of things. But usually when you sit around with friends and family and people who are close to you, you just talk in generalities. You just talk about a little bit about how you're doing with money. You don't talk deeply about what's going on.

[00:04:23] You don't share advice. What are some of those reasons? I think a lot of times we're a little, self-conscious about it. We're a little worried that maybe we're better off or worse off than somebody else. And so we want to hold it back because we don't want. Be judged about it. We're self-conscious about it.

[00:04:41] That brings to the second reason not being judged on both sides. Sometimes if you're doing quite well, you feel like you're going to be judged by people who aren't doing as well. And then by the same token, if you're struggling, you feel like you'll be judged by people who aren't. I've had clients [00:05:00] that when we start talking about.

[00:05:01] They'll ask there's absolutely nothing in here that I can cut back on. And yet when you look at it, they're spending a thousand dollars a month on eating out. And if you ask, is this an area perhaps you might be able to strain back on a little bit, it's interesting to see the reaction.

[00:05:20] Sometimes it's a reaction of yes, absolutely. That's an area we could. What do you know? It turns out that there are some areas that we could cut back on. And other times it's almost a denial of, no, this is absolutely not something I could cut back on after all, if I don't go out to eat seven times a week, then why is life worth living?

[00:05:44] It's really about the decisions that we make there, but people feel judged and either way. People feel hopeless about their finances. There are times that people feel like they're stuck in a situation. They've got a log jam situation. They don't know how to get out of it. [00:06:00] And therefore they're stuck.

[00:06:01] They're just going to be doing the same thing for the rest of their life and making the same mistakes. Sometimes people don't want to come off as a jerk. Maybe they've got a really cushy job and a great salary and a great income. And they're afraid that other people will look at them as rubbing that in their face.

[00:06:18] And of course, I think a lot of us think that if we talk about money, everyone's going to assume that we're obsessed with money. In fact, I think a lot of times in Christian circles, this is one of the things that holds people back from talking about money. The truth is it's really important to talk about money, especially with those who are closest to us are our family, our spouse, our dear friends, our children.

[00:06:47] Because the truth is it's really not about money at all. When we talk about money, if you think about these examples, what we're really talking about is the [00:07:00] decisions that we make, the priorities that we have, the values that we have. Let's go back to that, eating out. If somebody wants to spend a thousand dollars a month on eating out, there's nothing wrong with that.

[00:07:13] They recognize that's an opportunity cost. That means that they can't do something else with that thousand dollars. And as long as they're okay with where that thousand dollars is going, and it's in alignment with their values and they've got the income to support. Then I shouldn't judge them for eating out for a thousand dollars a month and eating out, even though to me, that might be a ridiculous amount that might be just unseen and unheard of.

[00:07:41] And how could anyone do that for someone else? It might be okay. The fact is that why talking about our most. We realize that we're really talking about the decisions that we're making with our life. We're really talking about what is important to us. [00:08:00] What are we willing to put our money towards? And by not talking about it, then instead, we usually do those things by default.

[00:08:09] We don't really make good and informed decisions about what it is. That our values are and how we're aligning our money with those things we don't really think about is the place that my money's going. Really, the things that are important to me and important to those people who are close to me, it's only by talking about it, not fighting about it, but talking about it, that you can begin to align that more closely, not just for yourself, but for the people who are most important.

[00:08:46] Because the truth is every time we talk about money, we're talking about way more than dollars and cents. It's why, when I think about the Keystone habits, how we handle our time, how we [00:09:00] handle our money is so important. And what it's really about is how we handle ourselves. The truth is how we handle ourselves is what leads to success.

[00:09:13] And yet by not talking about it, you're leaving out one big component of your life. You're not talking about it. You're not focusing on it. You're not paying attention to it. And generally that means you end up struggling with it. That's what happens when we don't talk about money. Thanks for listening.

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