SNS 147: Saturday Night Special – Interview with the author of The Executor Help by David Edey

[00:00:00] Scott Maderer: Welcome to tonight's. Saturday night, special episode 147.

[00:00:05] David Edey: I'm David ed. I challenge you to invest in yourself, invest in others, develop your influence and impact the world by using your time, your talent and your treasures to live out your. Having the ability to plan for the end of your life and leave a legacy is a key.

[00:00:22] And one of the ways to be inspired to do that is to listen to this, the inspired stewardship pod cast with my friend, Scott Mader.

[00:00:29] exactly because a lot of people think you know what? I haven't got a lot, but actually you do. You've got those digital assets and you shouldn't think that you don't have a lot of. If you've got just a couple of bank accounts or a house, you've got some assets, you do need to have a, will you do need to have been a state plan.

[00:00:48] And then couple that with your digital assets, it doesn't take much for for it to add up pretty quickly.

[00:00:55] Scott Maderer: Welcome. And thank you for joining us on the inspired stewardship. [00:01:00] If you truly desire to become the person who God wants you to be, then you must learn to use your time, your talent and your treasures for your true calling and the inspired stewardship podcast.

[00:01:12] We'll learn to invest in yourself, invest in others and develop your influence so that you can impact the world.

[00:01:20] And tonight Saturday night special. I talked to David ed David shares, why he thinks it's so important to understand the executor process. David also shares the most common mistakes people make in preparing their inheritance before they pass. And David also shares what you may want to think about before you agreed to become an executor for.

[00:01:42] No one area that a lot of folks need some help with is around the area of productivity. Getting not just more things done, but actually getting the right things done can be really. I've got a course called [00:02:00] productivity for your passion. That's designed to help you do this and then to hold you accountable and walk with you so that you can tailor productivity, not just to be getting more done, but actually getting the right things done.

[00:02:16] What's more, we take the approach of looking at your personality and how you actually look at things in the world and tailor the productivity system to your personnel. Because the truth is a lot of the systems that are out there are written really well for somebody with a particular personality type.

[00:02:34] But if you have a different approach to things, they just don't work, but there's tools and techniques and approaches that you can take that will work for anyone. And we help you do that in productivity for your passion. Check it out over@inspiredstewardship.com slash law. David is a certified executor advisor who has worked in the financial planning industry in Montreal for more than 35 years.[00:03:00]

[00:03:00] David is the author of the executor help how to settle an estate. And he also hosts the podcast of the same name. Welcome

[00:03:08] David Edey: to the show. Scott. Thanks for having me pleasure

[00:03:12] Scott Maderer: to be here. Absolutely. It's great to have you here. So as we just talked a little bit about in the intro you've written this great book called the executor help.

[00:03:23] What brought you to the point of deciding that this book was something that you needed to put out into the world?

[00:03:29] David Edey: It basically came down to the seven years 10 court appearances and the $50,000 in lawyers fees that I had to spend and go through to settle my parents' estate and they had a well, and any time I would talk about what I was going through during that time with family or friends and clients, one other person would perk up right away and say That happened to me, or they would say, you know what?

[00:03:57] I know of a family that broke up. And [00:04:00] so every time I kept hearing this, I'm saying, you know what, I should do something. I should write a, I should write a book. So anytime I would hear that, I said, I don't want anybody else to go through what I went through. The pandemic came along and gave me a lot of time to think.

[00:04:15] And I wrote the.

[00:04:17] Scott Maderer: So let's talk a little bit more about that experience. If you have 50 K 10 court appearances, and that was with a will now, everyone always hears that what the will, everything simple. So what's what's the rest of the story, so to speak?

[00:04:33] David Edey: The rest of the story is even though you might have a will, where are my parents?

[00:04:38] I would say not failed us, but where they didn't complete the job is that they didn't have the conversation with us. There were three siblings and they never said, okay, fine, we have this well, but everything should be split three ways. When they did when, and within 18 months of each other, they both passed away or gone.

[00:04:57] So there's the three of us. And one of the [00:05:00] siblings never thought that splitting it three ways was. They always believed that two thirds should go to them. And my other sibling, we should split one-third. So that's where we ended up having to go to court. So you want to have the conversation with the family?

[00:05:18] Because there's going to be the misinterpretation. And if you lay out the ground groundwork in advance and let them know exactly what you expect of them, there shouldn't be. And even though a lot of times, it still happens, there shouldn't be any miscommunication. And then having lawyers involved

[00:05:36] Scott Maderer: the well B lowers the chances of bad things, some, but it doesn't prevent them.

[00:05:42] The conversation also lowers them. Some may not completely prevent them, but you're trying to pile up more and more.

[00:05:48] David Edey: Exactly. But the starting point is important that you do have a will.

[00:05:53] Scott Maderer: Sure. So what are some of the most common mistakes? That people come. People make, when it comes to [00:06:00] preparing for this kind of event.

[00:06:02] And I could probably give the most obvious one, which is not preparing.

[00:06:06] David Edey: Exactly. And the reason why they don't prepare is because people are uncomfortable talking about their own demise. And I get that. But, and because of that's why we've got over 68% of Americans don't have a will. And the most common reasons they don't have a will is because they're either reluctant, they're either procrastinating or they're apathetic.

[00:06:27] They're meaning excuse me.

[00:06:29] They're probably either reluctant, I'm going to procrastinate or they're being apathetic, meaning they are saying And I'm dead. So what's the problem at that point. Exactly. But taking that view leaves a lot of problems for your family behind you're leaving them basically in chaos and you're leaving them disorganized.

[00:06:52] You want to make sure that you have a will as the starting point. Next thing you want to do is have those conversations. [00:07:00] It's no place to find out that dad doesn't have a will when they're in the intensive care and you can't have a meaningful conversation with somebody who's on a respirator.

[00:07:09] So you need to know that wills in place to make things a lot easier on the family.

[00:07:15] Scott Maderer: You mentioned earlier the pandemic kind of gave you some time to sit down and actually write the book. And your experience do you think the pandemic has brought some more awareness to the need for having a whale and preparing, or has it not really changed?

[00:07:30] Anyone's anyone's mindset

[00:07:32] David Edey: around. I well, I've seen from statistics that there has been an uptick in terms of people having a will, but it's the more younger people to, I think I saw from 18 to 34 are being aware of it because of the pandemic it's the baby boomers and older who haven't done anything, or if they have done something.

[00:07:53] It's not up to date. The pandemic has brought it to light, but there hasn't [00:08:00] been a huge movement in terms of having a will in being concerned about an estate plan.

[00:08:05] Scott Maderer: And let's talk about the other half of it. If somebody comes to you. Family member, friend, whatever it is and says Hey, I'd like you to consider being the executor for my will.

[00:08:17] What are some of the things that the executor needs to think about needs to know? What questions should you ask?

[00:08:24] David Edey: W if you're asked you, you really got to think a bit. Actually a couple of years ago, a friend of mine, William was put in this situation, his uncle made him executor and he had no idea that he was going to be executor and told the lawyer called him up.

[00:08:38] And the uncle had two children and he wanted the estate to be split 50 50, but William knew that he had. His cousin didn't get along and you knew there was going to be a fight. So he told the lawyer he was declining because he didn't want to be part of the family drama. And so the first thing he had to do is decide, [00:09:00] the first thing you have to decide is, do you want the job?

[00:09:02] If there's going to be family dynamics, there's going to be a fight. You have the right to decline. If you don't feel that you're up to do the job and you're taking the job only out of a sense of family obligation or friendship, then think twice because you're going to have to be available for at least a hundred.

[00:09:23] The cell, the estate. And it's going to take you anywhere between 12 to 24 months to make sure that everything is taken care of and wound up and due to the pandemic. It might even take him even longer. Again, if you've got family dynamics and people don't get along, you've got a big problem in the book.

[00:09:41] I talk about the triangle of conflict. If you're an executor and you're left with the responsibility. And if you've got one of the three areas, which is going to be a problem, which. There's no will or there's a second marriage or the siblings don't get along or family members don't get along. The job just got a lot harder and you need [00:10:00] to figure out, do I want to be part of this mess?

[00:10:03] Yeah. One

[00:10:03] Scott Maderer: of my clients is the executor for her father's estate and has two siblings and they actually do all get along. And there's a will and it's still like she's in year three. I think of trying to get everything done just because there's yeah.

[00:10:18] David Edey: Complexity. It's that's the people don't a lot of people don't have no idea what's involved depending on how big the estate is.

[00:10:27] You could be dealing with up to 17 different professionals. So what do you want to stay away from and not be stressed is to make sure that you are up to do the job that you're willing to. For help and you need to then be organized. That's one of the big things as being an executor. Is, are you organized, are you going to be able to locate a review of the will notify the beneficiaries, keep them up to date of what's going on.

[00:10:54] Arrange for any care for any pets. There is, there's a myriad of tasks that you have to do [00:11:00] and. Again, that a hundred hours that you're probably involved to do that you might have to do that during your working hours. So are you going to be able to take time off from work to get the job done well, and,

[00:11:12] Scott Maderer: and like you just mentioned pets, which is a complicating factor that I'm sure most people don't think about, what complicate this, do they have.

[00:11:20] Do they have multiple pieces of property? All of these things add complexity to the

[00:11:24] David Edey: situation. Yeah. It's funny. You bring up the point about a business. Now that's a whole different kettle of fish because as a as a business owner, you have to, you have your estate plan, but you also have to be concerned about a succession plan, because if something was to happen to you, Yeah, you ha you may have may or may not have a will, but you have to have a succession plan because one of three things is going to happen.

[00:11:48] If you have a business, it's either going to, you want it to go to a family member, you either going to sell it or you want to shut it down, but nobody's going to know. You've got a succession plan in place to let the [00:12:00] executive know what your wishes are for. Plus if you, as a business owner, don't have a succession plan and you've done services for somebody and they've paid you money.

[00:12:12] You've got to receivables that have been paid. Now they're going to come back after the estate because you've been paid, but you're not there anymore, but the executives are no. So now they're met with problems with creditors. As a business owner, you want to have a, an estate plan, but you also have in hand a succession plan as well.

[00:12:30] So I

[00:12:31] Scott Maderer: I've got a few questions that I like to ask all my guests, but before I go there, If you think about this topic and your book, executor help. Is there anything else that you'd like to share with the listener that you think is really important that maybe we missed in, in what we've covered so far?

[00:12:47] David Edey: I think when we're talking about a state plan and the will, you also can be considered a concerned. Your digital assets. So that's anything you bought, you purchased or done online and everything you've done and that'll [00:13:00] include social media. Everything you've ever done is either stored in a cloud or on a computer.

[00:13:04] Now that alone is another set of problems for an executor, because if you haven't got passwords and logins and you open yourself up for identity fat. I've had a friend who his buddy passed away and yet he was telling me, even though his buddy has passed away the Facebook account is still posting and he knows it's not him, but you're opening up yourself for a whole lot of identity theft and a lot of problems.

[00:13:33] So not only do you have your issues of making sure you have the, will you also have to make sure that you have your digital assets part of your estate plan as well?

[00:13:41] Scott Maderer: Yeah. I like Facebook now has a setting that you can actually go in and give directions for what's supposed to happen. After you've passed now, of course, they still have to be told that you pass.

[00:13:51] They don't magically know there is actually a place you can put in do you want this person to manage it or whatever,

[00:13:58] David Edey: to each and each [00:14:00] social media has their own protocol, their own read, and actually on my website. Need.com. There is a checklist in the resource section of what the protocol is for all the different social media outlets.

[00:14:13] And then you also have to take in consideration you might be part of a rewards program, or you might have your Netflix, all of those things you have pre-authorized checking, going through Dino, pay your Netflix, and you've got Amazon. All of those things are going through monthly and you need to know, someone needs to know.

[00:14:31] Were those logins are and the password, so they can shut it down, take the appropriate steps to shut them down.

[00:14:37] Scott Maderer: Yeah. Yeah. That makes perfect sense. And I bet you that one is probably something that's really overlooked by a lot of people. Just

[00:14:45] David Edey: because you don't think about it. Exactly. Because a lot of people think I haven't got a lot, but actually you do.

[00:14:51] You've got those digital assets and you shouldn't think that you don't have a lot because if you've got just a couple of bank accounts or a house, you've [00:15:00] got some assets, you do need to have a, will you do need to have an estate plans. And then couple that with your digital assets, it doesn't take much for for it to add up pretty quickly.

[00:15:10] Yeah,

[00:15:11] Scott Maderer: absolutely. My brand is inspired stewardship and I run things through that lens of that word stewardship, but I've discovered over the years that a lot of people hear that word and they either have different meanings for it than what I do, or it applies to different people in different ways.

[00:15:29] So when you hear the word stewardship, what does that mean to you and what is its impact been

[00:15:34] David Edey: on you? I knew you were going to ask me this question and I thought about it. And I thought, you know what? Since the book and I've been an advisor for 35 years and the book has just shifted me into a different area because of where I've the journey that I've been through.

[00:15:49] So I think my. To me is that I want to educate families about leaving a legacy and it doesn't only just mean money. It means having conversations to pass on [00:16:00] normally the wealth, but also the values of what it means to be a family, prepare the family for when you no longer there. So I want it to be general.

[00:16:09] What's the word I'm looking for generally. Generate generations generational. That's the word? Generational. And bottom line, basically what I'm talking about is leaving a legacy. I want you to leave a legacy and not a mess. And so that's what to me is my stewardship and what I'm trying to do right now with the.

[00:16:30] Scott Maderer: And speaking of legacy, that brings us to the next question that I like to ask everybody. Let's say I could invent a machine, a magical machine, and I could pluck you from the seat where you are right now and travel into the future, maybe a hundred to 150 years. And you were able to magically look back on your whole life and all of the impact, all of the ripples that you've left behind in the world.

[00:16:52] What's the impact that you hope you've left behind in the world.

[00:16:54] David Edey: Most importantly, I hope I leave a legacy for my son. Let him know that he knows that I loved him so [00:17:00] much. My partner in life know let her know how much he has made a difference in my life and how much and I honored her.

[00:17:05] I'd also want my family to know how much I love them and those close, true friends that I have. I want them also to know how much I love them and appreciate them, appreciated them as well.

[00:17:17] Scott Maderer: Absolutely. So what's coming next for David, as you continue on this journey of with this new book out and other things what's on the roadmap.

[00:17:27] The,

[00:17:28] David Edey: during the part of those seven years I was doing going through this court case, I also took a little time out to have double bypass surgery. So I

[00:17:38] Scott Maderer: figured why not sign up for that too?

[00:17:41] David Edey: Actually it happened in, in November and I wasn't feeling well and we ended up having to go to the hospital and I had a court case I had to be back in court in January.

[00:17:52] So I figured, you know what, I'll have the double bypass surgery in November, and then you'll be back and forth in, in January what possibly could [00:18:00] happen. And For me what's next for me is good house because as I was lying there just before, it was about to have when you're lying there and you're about to be wheeled in for them to crack your chest open for double bypass surgery.

[00:18:13] I just said I prayed. And I said that if you give me Good health that I'll be more appreciative of everything that I have and I'll look to help others. And again, through my stewardship of what I want to do to help families leave a legacy just give me give me the gifts and make, let me make it through this surgery.

[00:18:35] We didn't go to court in January. And my sister and a girlfriend were happy about that, but I made it through. And here I'm here sitting, talking to you today. And for that, I know.

[00:18:44] Scott Maderer: David. Is there anything else you'd like to share with the listener?

[00:18:48] David Edey: Again, if it's the subject that we're talking about, people are uncomfortable. I get it. But you also have to figure out that you don't want to leave your family disorganize. You don't want to [00:19:00] leave them in chaos. You want to leave them a legacy and not a legacy with them.

[00:19:03] Scott Maderer: thanks so much for listening to the inspired stewardship podcast as a subscriber and listener, we challenge you to not just sit back and passively listen, but act on what you've heard and find a way to live your calling. If you enjoy this episode. Please do us a favor. Go over to inspired stewardship.com/itunes rate.

[00:19:32] All one word iTunes rate. It'll take you through how to leave a rating and review and how to make sure you're subscribed to the podcast so that you can get every episode as it comes out in your. Until next time, invest your time, your talent and your treasures. Develop your influence and impact the world. .