Join us today as I dive deep and recommend some ways you can find out if you have a broken money relationship....
This is part of our Friday Stewardship of Treasures series where we begin to unpack how we relate to money and what we can do to fix our broken money patterns.
In this episode, I point out some of the influences on your relationship with Money. I explain some of the half-truths that we often believe that influence how we use and misuse money. I also give you a practical tip and some questions you can use to evaluate if you may have a broken money relationship.
Join in on the Chat below.
00:00:00 This is the last rebroadcast episode of this week where we re broadcast Episode five using a money audit to discover how you have a relationship with money and what you can do about it. Hey, I'm at him, author of Redefined Rich and I Challenge You to live richly by listening to the inspired stewardship podcast with my friend Scott made her. In this episode, we talk about how if you just buy this, you'll be happy, successful, sexy, beautiful. Have a perfect family. Wonderful pets of the ideal life.
00:00:46 It's chocolate Welcome. Thank you for joining us on the inspired stewardship. Podcasts. If you truly desire to become the person that God wants you to be, then you must learn to use your time, your talent and your treasures for your true calling in the inspired Searchie podcast. Learn to invest in yourself best in others and develop your influence so that you can impact the world. In this episode, we'll be talking about the relationship that you already have with money, half truths that often surround us due to the religious and consumer mindset that we have about money and how this culture of consumerism that surrounds us contrive us away from using money for our real priorities and are really values.
00:01:44 And I'll give you one tip that you can use to start getting control of your money. If you remember from Episode one, when we were talking with Arthur, Matt Ham we were talking about, he said something that really hit me. Something about how money was more of a heart issue than a wallet issue on today's episode, when we're going to dive deep into money. I wanted to unpack that a bit further. As we go into talking about the stewardship of treasures, we're gonna be talking a little bit about money and mindset and heart set,
00:02:21 I guess, is a better name for it. And there's a few different ideas that I wanted to kind of dig into an unpack here. First off, you need to remember that you have a relationship with money. It already exists in your mind and in your heart and down in your soul. It's it's wired into you and odds air good. It was wired into you at a very young age. And don't get me wrong. I'm not talking about something genetic here where you're born with a certain approach to money,
00:02:56 but it comes into you and it soaks into your blood and your bones from how you're surrounded by things. I mean, if you think about it, some folks grow up in a household where money is never, ever talked about. And this isn't a rich or poor or middle class thing. This isn't about you know how much money your family had when they're growing up. It's just about the idea that sometimes money is just a taboo topic. Just something we don't talk about maybe is as parents. They felt like,
00:03:31 you know, they didn't want to burden the kids with it. They didn't want to talk to them about it. So money was just, you know, forbidden to talk about, and so you have no clue or no basis to really talk about and deal with money in your own mind. Other people may have grown up in a home where money was talked about, but it was always in a loud voice and yelling and screaming. Maybe money always included. Ah, fight and pain in some way was used as a source of arguments,
00:04:06 or maybe by one member of the family to control other members. There was a very negative relationship with money and again richer, poor, middle class or not, it doesn't matter. This could happen in kind of your family of origin could just be a long history of relating money with pain. And arguments are maybe maybe you're lucky enough to grow up in a home where there was a good relationship with money around you, where you saw your parents talk openly and honestly about money and where they raised you and taught you well in the use of money and how to relate to it.
00:04:46 What was good and what was bad about our relationships with money. If you think about it, not only were you wired and immersed in this sort of relationship is a family of origin.
00:05:00 As you've gotten older is you've lived through life. You've continued to be surrounded by a larger culture and community mindset on money that we're all immersed in as an example.
00:05:15 If you're part of a Christian or many religious communities, there's often kind of one of two mindsets promoted one.
00:05:24 Is this prosperity, gospel or this idea where if you if you want it enough. If you pray hard enough,
00:05:31 if you have enough faith, money will just come to you. That can even be put out in a ah secular environment,
00:05:39 like with the secret where you know, if you put these thoughts out into the universe, then it will come back to you,
00:05:46 and it will bless you with money. Course the unspoken message. They're the kind of subtext in the opposite way of looking at.
00:05:55 That is, Well, if you don't have any money, it's it's because you don't have enough faith or your godly or spiritual enough for,
00:06:02 you know you're not doing it right. There's there's something wrong about your basis that you're putting it out there.
00:06:09 It's It's your fault, and there's some truth to that. But there's also not in terms of you can visualize things,
00:06:16 and and there is a power toe visualize ing. But it's not enough to just visualize. One of the other kind of message is that gets put out a lot in Christian and religious communities is sort of the opposite of that where,
00:06:31 basically, if someone has money by definition, their evil in some way, they're bad in some way money equals evil,
00:06:41 money equals bad. The only way someone got rich is by stealing or by taking or by harming others.
00:06:52 There's this unspoken belief that kind of permeates in turns wealth by definition, into bad. The belief that money is the root of all evil.
00:07:07 And, you know, those of you that don't realize that that's actually a misquote. That's not what is said in the Bible and in first Timothy,
00:07:15 Chapter six, verse 10 it says, for the love of money is the root of all kinds of evils.
00:07:22 It's not about the money itself. It's about our relationship with money that can make money good or evil.
00:07:30 Money can be used to do great things. Money can be used to help others, to grow things,
00:07:36 to build things, to serve others and serve ourselves. Our money can be used in a selfish way where it's serving ourselves in ah,
00:07:46 harmful way. And it's hurting our hearts and our minds and our spirit because we have a bad relationship with money.
00:07:55 This this false belief that by definition wealth is evil and poor, is blessed or spiritual. This isn't really true.
00:08:04 It's kind of 1/2 truth It's kind of like the idea that you'll hear that people will put forward that the Bible says that God helps those who help themselves.
00:08:15 This is kind of tying into that concept of, you know, the someone who's poor. Well, it's just because they're not working hard enough,
00:08:24 you know, they could fix it if they just worked harder. And that's kind of half truth, too.
00:08:29 I mean, there are probably people that could work harder and pull themselves up by their bootstraps and get better.
00:08:35 But there's also people that can't help themselves. One of the great books that I've read is is called Half Truce by Reverend Adam Hamilton,
00:08:47 and it talks about this idea and how it's 1/2 truth to think that God helps those who help themselves.
00:08:55 There is a degree to which you can't just sit back and visualize, but you have to get up in work.
00:09:01 But there's also truth in the idea that sometimes God helps those who are helpless, and we think about it that it's not just in the religious community.
00:09:14 Either. There's there's a larger cultural context that we're immersed in, especially in this country. I mean,
00:09:21 turn on TV. Get in your car and drive around town. Walk into a shop or a mall,
00:09:30 and very quickly you're surrounded by this culture of consumerism. Consume, buy Now pay later. If you just buy this,
00:09:43 you'll be happy, successful, sexy, beautiful. Have a perfect family. Wonderful pets said the ideal life.
00:09:49 It's a chocolate bar. The idea is we're so surrounded that we start to believe that who we are comes from two things.
00:10:03 What we do and what we have. I mean, think about how you answer the question. Who are you?
00:10:09 More often than not, one of the first things people will say is what their job is, and we show people,
00:10:16 Yeah, we're don't usually go around saying that by the way, I own a BMW, but we drive the BMW and we show people what we have.
00:10:25 And a lot of times we tie up our identity with what we have think about the number of times in your life.
00:10:34 And be honest. I mean, really think about it. How many times have you bought something? Just tow quote.
00:10:41 Keep up with the Joneses. Personally, I'd kind of like to know who these Jones's people are and why do they have so much stuff?
00:10:49 But it's not a joke. We we do this, we buy things just because we think we're supposed to or because other people have it.
00:10:58 And therefore we should look around at the number of people drowned ing in debt and how that just continues to rise and rise and rise and our debt levels continue to go up as people are inundated and surrounded with this idea that I wanted.
00:11:21 Now I deserve it now. Then I'll get it now by putting it on this magic card and I'll pay for it with future money.
00:11:31 You think about it. This is you, of the present, setting up you of the future for pain.
00:11:38 You're sacrificing the future for today. Proverbs 20 to 7 says the rich rule over the poor and the borrower is slave to the lender.
00:11:54 If you're in debt, you've probably felt that in a very riel intangible way, the borrower is slave to the lender.
00:12:07 All of these things. All of these relationships in these histories that we have with money really begin to mess with your head.
00:12:17 But even more importantly, they can begin to mess with your heart. Remember where we started living rich leas more of a heart issue than a wallet issue.
00:12:30 And I believe that's true. If we allow ourselves to fall into this kind of mindset, we become takers,
00:12:38 not givers. We begin to focus on ourselves and our needs to the exclusion of everything else. We begin to ignore the larger community and the needs of others.
00:12:52 There's really paying out there. Maybe you're feeling it may be others around you are, But there are people in clear need,
00:13:03 and we're called to care for them who were called to care for them as individuals, as people, as families,
00:13:12 as a community. I'm in Leviticus. Chapter 23 Verse 22 says. When you reap the harvest of your land,
00:13:21 do not read to the very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest, but leave them for the poor and for the foreigner residing among you.
00:13:31 That idea of not taking everything, not using everything that you own, not using everything that you have access to,
00:13:40 but rather using some of it to help those around you shows an example of how we're meant to care for those around us by not consuming everything ourselves but providing for those who were weak or who were oppressed.
00:13:57 And we're unable to provide for themselves. We're called to do this with all things were not just supposed to do it with money,
00:14:05 but we're supposed to do with time with energy. We're not supposed to be using debt to take you on even Maur,
00:14:13 but rather were supposed to use what we have to provide for our own families and through abundance to provide for those who cannot provide and protect themselves.
00:14:25 The Bible does call for us tow work. But it also calls for us to care for others. You may have even heard someone used Second Thessalonians Chapter three versus 10 3 12 where it says for even when we were with you,
00:14:41 we would give you this command. If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. For we hear that some among you walk in idleness.
00:14:50 Not busy at work but busybodies now such persons we command and encouraging the Lord Jesus Christ to do their work quietly and to earn their own living.
00:14:59 And you may have heard this used as a defense for not caring for the poor. You know the idea that,
00:15:08 well, they should just work, you know, if they don't work, they don't eat. But that's also 1/2 truth covered by Adam Hamilton in his book.
00:15:17 Instead, there's this idea, this larger idea of grace and God providing for those who cannot probably provide for themselves.
00:15:27 But you know, God doesn't usually provide, but it's just, you know, having a roast duck flying through the window are having a job miraculously show up just because you prayed for a job or having money show up in your checking account just because you prayed for it?
00:15:43 No, God usually blesses others through people. It's people who are called to be the hands and feet and provide for others around us.
00:15:58 But to do that, to be able to help others, we have to be strong ourselves. And so when it comes to money,
00:16:09 we have to be good stewards of our wealth. Think about what that means. If you don't know the word Stuart,
00:16:18 it's an old word that it means caretaker or manager. In a way, we don't own our wealth.
00:16:27 We simply manage it. It's really owned by God, but we're supposed to manage it to both provide for ourselves and our family and to use it to bless others who cannot provide for themselves.
00:16:44 We are to be generous, but to be generous, we must be responsible and budget and take care to not buy into this culture of consumerism,
00:16:58 to not believe instead that money is our provider. That's loving money, believing that money is your security money is your provider instead,
00:17:13 where we're supposed to realize that money is a blessing one given to us by God but were asked to manage it well for the benefit of God's kingdom.
00:17:25 Now you're probably catching on that I loved to read, and I'm often gonna reference books. And the single best book I've ever read on this topic is called The Christian Wallet by Mike Slaughter.
00:17:38 He goes deep into this concept, and it's something that I've brought into my own practices. I coach people with money.
00:17:48 Let's take one really practical example again. Be honest. Nobody else has to know, but do you do a budget,
00:17:59 a monthly budget, a spending plan you heard earlier this week when we were talking about kind of budgeting and managing time.
00:18:12 Well, money is no different. In fact, any resource that we have needs to be budgeted and planned for,
00:18:22 and money can be managed in a way just like time. So earlier this week, I asked you to do a time audit.
00:18:31 I asked you to start tracking your time in 30 minute increments, and now it's time to ask you to do the first step in beginning to understand your money,
00:18:42 and that's to do a money on it. The nice thing about this is you can actually sit down and do this in an afternoon.
00:18:49 You don't have to wait for a week to go by. You can take some evening or afternoon. If you're a married couple,
00:18:57 you can do this as a couple. If you're an individual, you can do this by yourself. It doesn't take any special skill.
00:19:03 You simply take out your bank statements, your credit card statements, your online receipts, your checkbook anyway,
00:19:11 that you've been recording, how you spend money and you just start putting it down on paper and totaling it up.
00:19:21 Now there are online tools that can help you with this meant and personal capital and others. But you can do it with an old fashioned pen and paper to you don't need anything fancy.
00:19:32 And this is something that a lot of times we start with when I'm coaching somebody on money is figuring out where your money goes.
00:19:41 And I'd be honored to work with you getting your money in line with your heart if that's something that you feel is a challenge for you,
00:19:49 and you need someone to walk beside you and guide you and help you figure out the tools to use to really use your money well.
00:20:01 But when you look at this, when you track your money and you look at it and you do an audit,
00:20:07 trying to think does how you spend your money reflect your priorities and your values. Coaching can help you really think and dig deep into that,
00:20:21 but it's something you can do on your own. So do that audit. What did you spend last month?
00:20:30 See where your money went and then ask yourself these three questions? Did my spending reflect what I believe in my heart I'm called to do?
00:20:47 Did my spending was it used in a way that provides for the needs of the present without sacrificing the future.
00:21:00 Is my spending showing that I'm being a responsible steward of the blessings God has given me? Ask yourself these questions,
00:21:12 and if the answer is yes, wonderful. But if it's no, that's something that you've got to begin changing.
00:21:21 And we'll talk about that more in later episodes, or reach out to me on the contact us Paige and asked for us to sit down for a consult because that's something that I could help you figure out how to do.
00:21:33 Thanks so much for listening, and that's it for today. Thanks so much for joining us and listening to the inspired stewardship podcasts.
00:21:49 As a subscriber, we challenge you to be more than just a passive lister. But act on what you've heard and find a way toe live your calling.
00:21:58 We'd love it if you could subscribe to the podcast and get the latest episodes over in iTunes. And if you really like the podcast,
00:22:06 please feel free to live. Leave us a review and rating on iTunes. You didn't enjoy it. Email me feedback at Scott at inspired stewardship dot com join us for community and conversation there.
00:22:19 It inspired stewardship dot com and until next time, remember investor time, your talent and your treasures develop your influence and impact.
In today's episode, I talk with you about:
What you do and what you have doesn't define who and whose you are…unless you let it.
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