Episode 859 I HAD to Versus I Choose Too
[00:00:00] Scott Maderer: [00:00:00] Thanks for joining me on episode 859 of the inspired stewardship podcast.
[00:00:06] Darryl Lyons: [00:00:06] I'm Darryl Lyons author of 18 to 80. I challenge you to invest in yourself, invest in others, develop your influence and impact the world by using your time, your talent and your treasures to live out your calling, having the right behavior with your money is key to doing that.
[00:00:25] And one way to be inspired to do that is to listen to this. The inspired stewardship podcast with my friend, Scott Maderer.
[00:00:34]Scott Maderer: [00:00:34] because the truth is at the end of the day, choosing to do something, even something that's rough, even something that's difficult, even something that seems to be not a great choice, but it's the best one I can come up with this time is better than having. To do it because it does mean that when you see that it didn't work, when you see there's a problem, or when you see that there was a struggle.
[00:00:58] Welcome. And thank you for joining [00:01:00] us on the inspired stewardship podcast. If you truly desire to become the person who God wants you to be, then you must learn to use your time. Your talent and your treasures for your true calling and the inspired stewardship podcast. We'll learn to invest in yourself, invest in others and develop your influence so that you can impact the world.
[00:01:24]In today's episode about investing in yourself through stewarding your talent. I talk with you about why the language we use around our choices is so important. I talk about had to versus chose to language, and I also share why choosing to do something, even something that's rough on you is better than when you have to do it.
[00:01:45] You've heard me talk about developing your talent and what are the best ways to do that is through books. But if you're like most people today, it's hard to find the time to read. And that's why today's podcast is brought to you by audible. [00:02:00] Go to inspired stewardship.com/audible to sign up and you can get a 30 day free trial.
[00:02:07] There's over 180,000 titles to choose from. And you can pick one and listen your way to developing your talents via audible. That's inspired stewardship.com/audible to get your free trial and listen to great books the same way you're listening to this podcast. You've heard me talk before about how the language that we use and the language that we think around ideas is so important.
[00:02:36] It's not just what we think. It's actually the words that we use to describe it. And it's not just what we say out loud to people. It's the words that we use to describe it. That language has power because the words we use actually shows. Things about our underlying beliefs or underlying structure, what our conclusions we've [00:03:00] made, how we feel about things.
[00:03:02] And it's really important to think about the words you let yourself use. One of those words. And one of those things is around our choices and our power to choose all too often. I have clients that come in and talk about all of the things that they had to do. I had to do this. I didn't have a choice.
[00:03:26] That's really, what had to do is saying I had to do something is taking away your power of choice. It's abdicating, any ability you had to make a decision. And I ask you this. If somebody came up to you and they strapped you down and they held a gun to your head, And they said, if you don't do this, I'm going to take your life.
[00:03:51] I'm going to kill you. Now. Are there things that are so important and so valuable to you in terms of your [00:04:00] values, your priorities, your beliefs, people around you and relationships. Are there things that are so important that you would not compromise on them? You would not do what you were told. You would say.
[00:04:14] You're just gonna have to kill me. You're just going to have to take my life. Now that's an extreme example, but the truth is even in that situation, you have the power of choice. You could look at the person and say, no, you're gonna have to take my life. I'm not going to make that decision and do what you want me to do.
[00:04:33] I'm not going to take that action that you're asking me to do. I had to. Is saying that you had no choice while saying I chose to do that. And here's why is giving you some power of decision. And by the way, even when you do something, that's a bad choice. And I use the word bad lightly because I really don't [00:05:00] believe that there's good and bad choices.
[00:05:02] There's just the decisions that we make. But if you do something that later on you look back on and you go, Oh, that was really not what I should have done. The truth is you did it at the time that you did it with the information you had and made the best decision you could make at that time. And the truth is that means that you had the power of choice and you made the best choice you could.
[00:05:32] Why then do we beat ourselves up about it? But when you say I had to do it, what you're trying to do is distance yourself from that responsibility and somehow, or another, even a bad choice feels better because see, I didn't really have a choice. I had to do it. It's also a way of weakening our guilt. And I understand that's one of the reasons that people use that language because somehow or another, it feels less bad if I had to [00:06:00] do it.
[00:06:01] But you are also taking away the power. You have to make good choices in that language. You're also lessening your ability to learn from those decisions and make different choices the next time around, because see if you had to do it, then you have no power to change that decision ever again, you're trapped into just reacting.
[00:06:23] You're trapped into doing the same thing over and over again. And if that's working for you, wonderful. But if you're struggling and it's not working for you, then why not change the language that you use and recognize that you have the power of choice? Because the truth is at the end of the day, choosing to do something, even something that's rough, even something that's difficult, even something that seems to be not a great choice, but it's the best one I can come up with this time.
[00:06:55] Is better than having to do it because it does mean that when you [00:07:00] see that it didn't work or when you see there's a problem, or when you see that there was a struggle, you can make a different choice. The next time you're allowing yourself to learn. You're allowing yourself to get better. You're allowing yourself to make changes in your behavior each and every day.
[00:07:20] You're allowing yourself to get. A new choice and a new chance the next time had to do it takes that away, had to do it, makes it where no matter what, I just have to keep repeating the same behavior over and over again. And if it's not working for me, it's just not going to work for me next time either.
[00:07:41] It's the quote about the definition of insanity? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result. But the power of choice gives you the ability to try something new gives you the ability to tweak it and do it again. It gives you the ability to shift what you're doing and go a new [00:08:00] direction.
[00:08:01] It gives you power, the power of choice. Thanks for listening.
[00:08:07]Thanks so much for listening to the inspired stewardship podcast as a subscriber and listener, we challenge you to not just sit back and passively listen, but act on what you've heard and find a way to live your calling. If you liked this episode on the stewardship of talent, you can go over to inspired stewardship.com/talent and sign up for our five week series on the stewardship of talent.
[00:08:38] Or if you're in the us, you can text four, four, two, two, two talent tips. That's talent tips to four four two, two, two, and get those tips until next time. Invest your time. Your talent and your treasures develop your influence and impact the world. [00:09:00] .