Episode 1672: Interview with Lindsay Stadel About Her Journey to Mental Health

===

Scott Maderer: [00:00:00] Thanks for joining us on episode 1,672 of the Inspired Stewardship podcast.

Lindsay Stadel: I am Lindsay Stadel. I challenge you to invest in yourself, invest in others, develop your influence, and impact the world by using your time, your talent, and your treasures to live out your calling. Having the ability to find your resilience is key, and one way to be inspired to do that is to listen to this, the Inspired Stewardship podcast with my friend Scott Maderer.

Another challenge that I think is that many people don't recognize how much their internal dialogue it affects their mental health. I would talk so bad about [00:01:00] myself in my own head, and it just made me worse and worse.

Scott Maderer: Welcome and thank you for joining us on the Inspired Stewardship Podcast. If you truly desire to become the person who God wants you to be, then you must learn to use your time, your talent, and your treasures for your true calling.

In the Inspired Stewardship podcast, you will learn to invest in yourself, invest in others, and develop your influence so that you can impact the world

In today's podcast episode, I interview Lindsay Stadel. I ask Lindsay about her journey through the challenges she's had around mental health. Lindsay also shares with you why she wrote her books to share what you can do about your own mental health, and I also ask Lindsay about how she's discovering her calling through these struggles.

I have a [00:02:00] great book that's been out for a while now called Inspired Living: Assemble the Puzzle of Your Calling by Mastering Your Time, Your Talent, and Your Treasures. You can find out more about that book over at inspiredlivingbook.com. It'll take you to a page where there's information, and you can sign up to get some mailings about it as well as purchase a copy there.

I'd love to see you get a copy and share with me how it impacted your world. Lindsay Stadel is a devoted wife, mother, and grandmother and a highly successful entrepreneur. She manages four thriving businesses. But beyond her business accomplishments, Lindsay is deeply committed to mental health advocacy, driven by her personal experiences with suicide and overcoming mental health struggles.

Her mission is to support others battling mental health issues and suicidal tendencies. As an award-winning author, she uses her voice and writing to address these important topics, and [00:03:00] she is now speaking publicly to help fight the stigma around suicide. Lindsay's journey reflects resilience, compassion, and a dedication to making a positive impact on others.

She's had four books: Born to Risk, The Giving Book Volume Five, Focus, and Life's Checkmark

Welcome to the show, Lindsay.

Lindsay Stadel: Thank you.

Scott Maderer: Absolutely. I, I look forward to our conversation today. So I shared a little bit in the intro about some of the work you do, number of businesses that you have, books you've written and now you're speaking, and work that you're doing around working on the, the the stigma surrounding suicide.

And and as a suicide attempt survivor myself I've got some echoes to this. Folks on the podcast have heard some of my story before. [00:04:00] But I was looking forward to having you on. But before we go there, let's kinda go back in time and tell people the story of what has brought you to the point where this is the work that you're doing, that you feel called to do, the message you feel called to put out in the world?

Lindsay Stadel: Okay, sure. My journey, my life has not always been a straight line. It's been full of highs and lows, heartbreaks, healing. But ultimately, it's been full of a lot of purpose. I am today so much more than I ever thought I would be. I'm a wife, a mom, and a grandma of three, with a fourth on the way. I'm an entrepreneur and an author, which I never thought I would be, and a speaker.

But any of tho- But before any of those titles, [00:05:00] I was a woman who had hit my breaking point. After my divorce and a series, of course, of painful life experiences, I had reached a moment where the weight of everything felt unbearable, and that was when I attempted to take my own life.

That moment really became the turning point of my story, and because of that, I chose to commit myself to a mental health facility.

That decision there began the process of rebuilding my life and myself from the inside out. It really forced me to confront the things that I often avoided: my own thoughts, my own pain, my identity, and even my worth. I felt like I was worthless. And since then, my life has been about [00:06:00] transformation. You know, I I like to think of myself as a transformer, because I started as one thing, and now I'm another.

I've helped build- Two businesses from the ground up and continual- continuously build our two other businesses. All four of them are thriving. I've rebuilt relationships with my now husband and his older, his two boys that the relationship with them after my breakdown was nonexistent. And I've even discovered that the hardest chapter of my life it became the very message that someone else needs to survive.

Scott Maderer: Mm.

Lindsay Stadel: That message is that you are enough, and you don't have to please everybody. You [00:07:00] have to take care of yourself, mind, body, and spirit. So because of that, I speak and I write. I tell my story because I want people to know something that I had to learn the hard way, that you are enough. You don't have to prove anything to anybody.

You don't have to pretend. You just have to be you

Scott Maderer: So a lot of times I, and I've shared my story of at least some of, uh, the things I was going through that w- had me considering suicide and w- what kind of turned it around. And you, you used the word the weight of everything. And I think folks, that word probably resonates with folks, because there is a lot of weight that we feel to our emotions, to our situation.

Maybe it's [00:08:00] money problems, maybe it's relationship problems. Whatever it is, you know, it's different for different people, but we feel that weight. My question for you is, is it, is it today that your life, that the weight of it's different, or is it the way that you view the weight, if that makes sense, that's different?

What changed to get you to where you are now?

Lindsay Stadel: I really think the way that I view my, my, the weight. You know, the, my life was so out of control, and n- I was not me. I knew who I was supposed to be, and I was not that person. And so everything that I was dealing with back then, if it were to happen to me now, I would react completely different.

Everything in my life would prevent me from going down that deep dark hole. And [00:09:00] so the weight of all of the life experiences that I was faced with in 2017, definitely the, it's a different weight. And I can get through the stress, I can get through the heartache, I can get through the anxiety and depression now, where I couldn't back then because it was just too heavy, and I viewed it completely different

Scott Maderer: Talk a little bit, one of the things I like to highlight on the show is what I call the intersection between our faith journey and our life journey, and what that looks like for us.

How has what you've gone through and the way that your views have changed, you know, how has that part of it, uh, w- how has that part of it played out for you?

Lindsay Stadel: That part is completely different for me. I was raised in a very Catholic family. We went to [00:10:00] school, or the, to, to Sunday school every Sunday.

We went to church every Sunday. We had the Wednesday night, uh, CCD class, you know, religious ed class. And once I became old enough to make my decision on whether or not I was gonna go to church or not, I quit going, o- once I became a teenager, I was given that option and I quit going, and my entire adult life, I'm spiritual, but I've never really had a faith journey.

And for me, faith became real when my life stopped being easy, and that would've been in 2016 really when I got divorced. There were seasons in my life prior to that where I really felt completely broken and alone and those moments were when [00:11:00] my faith stopped being something theoretical and became something personal.

I had to learn how to live life without my father. I had to learn how to live life as a single mom. And when I was at my lowest point, I, of course I didn't have all the answers, and nobody would have all the answers for me. But I did have moments where I felt carried- and moments where hope actually did show up even when I didn't think that there was any hope to give.

So for me, faith isn't about perfection. It's about surrender. I had to trust that even the most painful parts of my story can be redeemed.[00:12:00]

Scott Maderer: Yeah, I think, uh, for a lot of folks it's interesting 'cause when we go through challenges, sometimes it turns us towards faith and sometimes it turns us away from it. The... We can be angry or we can surrender a- again, as you use that word. And surrender to a lot of people sounds negative, but it's not, you know?

Um- Right ... not in this case. So that was part of what turned you around. What do you see as some of the major challenges for folks around mental health? You know, we... Again, there's a listener out here right now that is, has thought about or is thinking about suicide. There are folks that are dealing with very real challenges.

What are some of the major things that prevent or block the healthy work that [00:13:00] we need to do around mental health and mental wellness?

Lindsay Stadel: I think the two biggest challenges are silence and stigma.

For so long people have been taught to hide their struggles, not to talk about them. We don't share.

Shh, just, you know, don't say a word. And we say things to people like, "Just be strong. Push through. Why can't you get over it?" And- Pull yourself up by

Scott Maderer: your bootstraps.

Lindsay Stadel: Exactly. Exactly. And those kind of phrases, honestly, I mean I was told those phrases when I was going through my, my difficult times, and it just made me feel more alone and made me wanna hide more.

And another challenge that I think is that many people don't recognize how much their internal [00:14:00] dialogue i- affects their mental health. I would talk so bad about myself in my own head, and it just made me worse and worse. And so our thoughts shape our behavior, at least that's what I think, and our behavior shapes our mood.

And that's why my... I have what's called a TBM framework. It stands for talk, behavior, mood. The way we talk to ourselves matter. The way we talk to ourselves affects the way we behave. Our behavior matters, and our behavior affects our mood. And of course, your mood matters. You know, mental health isn't just about crisis moments.

It's about daily conversations that we have with ourselves and support systems that we create around us. So that's why the TBM [00:15:00] framework that I talk about quite often is really big for me because they go hand-in-hand.

Scott Maderer: Yeah, I I've actually talked to people before about that inner voice, and my question first is, you know, do- does...

Do you have it? And everyone's hand goes up, of course. You know, we all talk to ourselves. And then I ask, "Okay, how many of... Keep your hand up if that voice is nice to you." And nearly every, you know, uh, very seldom in a group of people- Does any hand stay up? And if any do, it's only one or two. You know, it's, it's...

But the vast majority put their hand down. And the truth is, a lot of times we talk to ourselves in a way that if someone talked to someone we cared about and loved in that way th- them's fighting words. We're gonna have a we're gonna have a discussion. You're not talking to my son, daughter, wife, husband, mother, you know, whatever, people that you care about that way, and yet [00:16:00] we'll do that to ourselves.

Why do you think we get into that pattern? Yes, 100%. Yeah, where does that come from? I, I really think that you are your hardest critic, and when you hear other people saying similar things to you, it becomes very easy to believe it. So then it's hard for you to get those thoughts about yourself out of your head until you can prove to yourself that you're not worthless, or until someone can prove to you that you're not worthless to them, I think is why we get stuck in those situations of treating us...

Lindsay Stadel: You treat, you're gonna treat yourself worse. Nine times out of 10, you're gonna treat yourself worse than someone else will treat you, and you just need that one person to help you snap your brain back [00:17:00] into thinking good things about yourself for it to turn around

Scott Maderer: And again, that gets back to why having the support systems around and others who are brave enough to talk about the untalkable.

We don't talk about that. Why not? You know? Exactly. Again, shame, stigma, all those other things. Uh, i- it's interesting, 'cause every time I've told my story of, you know, the financial difficulties my wife and I were going through, how I was suicidal because of finances, it- people... A- and I tell it just, it, it's just part of my journey, and people are always like, "Wow, you, you, y- you tell that so...

You know, thank you so much. That's so brave. That's so vulnerable." And I'm going, "But why? It's just part of my s- journey." You know? What, what is... I, I mean, I get it, but at the same time, I don't get it, [00:18:00] you know? I

Lindsay Stadel: understand that- Is that, have you had a similar experience? ... 'cause I... Yes. Yes, all the time. "Oh, you're so brave.

Thank you for sharing your story." I don't think of myself as brave for sharing my sto- story, because it's my story, you know? I, yes, it took some bravery at the very beginning for me to start sharing it, but I don't share it now for sympathy, you know? I share it now to help others who are in the same space that I was in.

So yeah, I don't, I don't... For me, I don't find bravery or strength when I share my story. It's just a conversation between me and someone else, sharing with them my darkest moment and hoping that they're not ever there.

Scott Maderer: Yeah, absolutely. And, and it, and again, it's just... It, I think part of it is the culture we have now, [00:19:00] and I call it the Instagram culture.

And the reason why I call it that is because, you know when you want the Instagram selfie, you make sure you frame the shot just right, and immediately out of frame is a pile of dirty laundry six feet high, you know? Yes. But, but, but, but, but make sure that's not in the shot kind of thing.

Lindsay Stadel: Yes.

Scott Maderer: And, and it's like everyone wants to share only the good parts of their life, not the challenging parts. And then we go around believing, "Well, I'm the only one who has challenges. Everyone else, it must be easy." And which is completely not true, you know?

Lindsay Stadel: Right. Yeah.

Scott Maderer: But it's the belief that we have because of it.

So I know you've also written some books and, and working on a new one, and been featured in several books and things. I believe the first one was called Born to Risk. W- tell me a little bit about that experience. Why did you feel called to put things... You know, it's one thing to be a speaker about [00:20:00] it and to share your story, but why did you decide to write the book?

Lindsay Stadel: My Aunt Annie, which people may know her as Tish McDaniel, she is one of my biggest cheerleaders. We have had our ups and downs, of course, my entire adult life, but she's always been in my corner. And so after my suicide attempt and years went past, she got ahold of me one day and she says, "Lindsay, I need you to meet someone.

He published my story," 'cause she was in a near fatal vehicle accident- in 1993 or '94, and she said, "I think your story would fit well in his book." So the book is called Born to Risk. It's about stories of survival, and it asks you the [00:21:00] question of what is your biggest risk that turned into your greatest reward?

And so she introduced me to Emilio Roman and his beautiful wife Daniella, and Emilio and Daniella will always be part of my redemption story. Because if it wasn't for them believing that my story could change people, I wouldn't be talking to you today, Scott. I wouldn't have started to share it. So I told them basically my story in a nutshell.

They loved it. They wanted to have me part of their book, so I began the writing process, which I never had even considered putting pen to paper. And I was so very scared. There's a whole 24-hour time period right after I jumped to the time that I woke up in the hospital that I don't remember.

I know people, my husband remembers it, my [00:22:00] daughter remembers it, but I don't. And I don't ask them about it because for me, that's my brain's way of telling me that I don't need to remem- remember it. Something very traumatic happened during that time, and I know I, I died that night. I did, but I came back, and so my brain's blocking everything else out.

So when he asked me to be part of his book, I jumped at the opportunity, and I'm so very thankful that I did because my shame from that day has disappeared. Yes, I am I feel shame that I put my kids through what I, what I put them through. I'm regretful that I did that because I don't have a working left arm.

I live with constant pl- pain all day every day because of an injury that I received from [00:23:00] the attempt. But the life that I have now is so much more than I would have ever expected to have. And because of sharing my story and getting comfortable in my own skin am I able to N- uh, to quit hiding. Quit hiding from my past, and I own it, and that's why I decided to start writing it down and sharing it with people.

And now I've got three published anthologies, and I'm in another one that's coming up that'll be published in June. I've been on multiple podcasts and I'm absolutely... I'm gonna say I'm proud of myself. I don't give myself recognition very often. You know, w- as humans, we don't. [00:24:00] We don't give ourselves recognition.

But when my vulnerability was able to create connection with other people, that's when I decided that it was time for me to start being proud of myself and what I put myself through and what I lived through. So my story really isn't just about survival. It's about transpor- transformation, and if even just one person reads my story and decides to keep going, then sharing my story was 100% worth it.

Scott Maderer: Yeah. It, it... By the way, I'm just gonna call this out. First off, you mentioned you were s- nervous, you were scared about sharing your story that first time, but you shared it anyway.

That is actually the definition of bravery. 'Cause bravery is not [00:25:00] the absence of fear. It's feeling fear, but doing something anyway.

I- and I say that for you, but probably for me too, that, you know, we, we... I think sometimes because we make it part of our journey, we forget, yeah, there is some bravery involved in sharing it. And again, I think that even if it's not something like a suicide attempt, even if it's a different kind of vulnerability that people are called to share from their own journey, it's sharing the low points as well as the high points does require a certain amount of acceptance of the risk of that.

'Cause let's face it, not everybody's nice about receiving that you know?

Lindsay Stadel: Yeah, yeah. I was very worried about what people were gonna think about me, what people were gonna think about my family, and, you know, what kind of new stigma might be out there against my- myself or my husband's family because, you know, my husband was with me the night that I jumped.[00:26:00]

He wasn't my husband back then. Um, he was my best friend, but- I put them through a lot, and what are people gonna think about him and his family accepting me back into their lives? And but th- my husband and I decided when we got back together late 2017 that it was gonna be him and I against the world, and they were gonna either accept us for us or they weren't gonna be part of our lives.

And honestly, Scott, I'm the third oldest of nine kids, and I don't have a relationship with any of my siblings.

I only have a relationship with two... Let me take that back. One of my six parents. One of them a- is deceased, so I mean, I do have a relationship with him, but and I only have a relationship with two of my aunts, and [00:27:00] there's multiple.

So my entire family, I would say 95% of my entire family has been shut out of my life because they were toxic.

And they did not receive me well after I started sharing my journey. So they don't, they weren't there for me in my tough times, so now they don't get to be there for me in my great times.

Scott Maderer: Yeah. So I've got a few questions that I like to ask all of my guests. But before I, I ask you those, what else about the work you do or the message that you put out do you feel called to share?

Lindsay Stadel: One thing that's really important to me is that work is bigger than just a book. My mission really is to help people understand that their [00:28:00] worth and th- that they are worthy of love and of life, and help them realize that their story still has value even if it's unfinished, messy, or chaos.

Through my speaking and writing and sharing my experiences I hope to create spaces for people that it will help them feel safe to talk about things that we often keep hidden. Um, because the truth is, healing really begins the moment when we realize we're not alone, and so that's why I created my Facebook group, for people to be able to go out there and have a safe space to share their story, or to read about other people's story and know that they're not gonna be criticized for it or be made fun of or looked down upon, because we're all there for one, for the same reason.[00:29:00]

We're all there to help each other, and to live through and to share our experiences.

Scott Maderer: So my brand is Inspired Stewardship, and I run things through the lens of stewardship, and yet I've discovered over the years that that's one of those words that can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people.

So for you, what does the word stewardship mean to you?

Lindsay Stadel: To me, it means recognizing that gifts and experiences and opportunities that we've been given aren't just for us. They're also meant to serve others. For a long time, I felt like parts of my story were things that I should hide, especially the suicide attempt.

But stewardship challenged me to [00:30:00] see my experiences differently, and it asked me the question i- of what is the hardest thing you've been through that is actually something that you were meant to use to help someone else? And so the hardest thing that I've been through, my greatest risk, was jumping out of the truck that night.

But my greatest reward, and the thing that is meant to help others, is the fact that I decided to live. So that shift changed everything for me, and now I can see my story and my voice, and even the struggles that I've had and the struggles that I continue to have, as something that I've been entrusted with and something that I can use to hopefully encourage and uplift others

Scott Maderer: So this is my favorite question that I like to ask [00:31:00] everybody.

Imagine for a moment that I invented this magic machine. Okay. And with this machine, I was able to take you from where you are today and transport you into the future, maybe 150, maybe 250 years. But through the power of this machine, you are able to look back and see your entire life, see all of the connections, see all of the ripples, see all of the impacts you've left.

What impact do you hope you've left in the world?

Lindsay Stadel: I hope that when people think about my life, they don't rem- just remember my shortcomings that they remember my accomplishments, and if any impact that my accomplishments had, not just on them, but on my, all, all of my loved ones. I hope that people feel [00:32:00] seen and heard by sharing their story, and hope that they feel valued because of something that I shared.

If someone today chose to stay, chose to keep fighting, or chose to believe in themselves again because of my story, that would mean everything. So 100, 150 years from now, if there was even just two people, you know, that were here because of my story, that is success. And success to me is not measured by recognition.

I, like I said before, I don't tell my story to get sympathy. I don't share my story for the recognition. I share my story because I think success is measured by the lives we touch, and I want to touch as many lives as possible. [00:33:00] And so if my life helped someone realize that they are enough, then I know that I lived my life with purpose

Scott Maderer: So what's on the roadmap? What's coming next as you continue on the, this journey?

Lindsay Stadel: Right now, I'm kind of taking a little bit of a break because I did have a surgery at the end of December 25 that got rid of my intense, extreme, every day, all day long nerve pain that I have been suffering from ever since my attempt.

I had what's... I have what's called a brachial plexus injury. That means that my nerves from my left arm were violently torn from my spinal column. So when I had that surgery, it got rid of that intense pain, but it caused a few other health issues. So at the moment [00:34:00] I'm taking just a small break, but I'm still continuing to expand my mission, and that includes speaking.

You know, I can speak from home, so I don't have to worry about things like that. I do still continue to write because I want to continue to put my story in more books. I would like to eventually write my own book one day, and that's gonna mean I'm gonna have to face that 24 hours that I know, that I don't remember, and that's gonna be one of the hardest things that I've done since deciding to live.

But I know that I'm gonna have to face that 24 hours at some point. And so I also am creating resources or trying to cr- help create resources for people to understand their worth and to help navigate their [00:35:00] own journeys. But I'm also passionate about reaching younger generations and helping them build resilience, because both of my kids have had mental health struggles, and I want to be able to go to a school and talk to high school kids and help them realize that just because your boyfriend or girlfriend broke up with you, or you got a bad grade on a test or whatever, that doesn't mean that your life's over.

It just is another speed bump that you can get over. And I want to help them build resilience and healthy internal dialogue early in their lives. But at the heart of everything that I do, Scott, the s- the message is the same, that no matter where someone is in their story, it's not [00:36:00] over and there is still purpose ahead of them

Scott Maderer: You can find out more about Lindsay over at lindsaystadel.com.

I'll have a link to that over in the show notes a- as well, of course. Lindsay, is there anything else you'd like to share with the listener?

Lindsay Stadel: Just that h- on my shirt that I'm wearing today, I know you can't see it, it has my logo. It says, "You are enough." And on the back it has my quote, "You are enough. No more proving, no more pretending, just unapologetically you."

Scott Maderer: Thanks so much for listening to the Inspired Stewardship podcast. As a subscriber and listener, we challenge you to not just sit back and passively listen, but act on what you've heard and find a way to live your calling. If you [00:37:00] enjoyed this episode please do us a favor. Go over to inspiredstewardship.com/itunesrate, all one word, itunesrate.

It'll take you through how to leave a rating and review and how to make sure you're subscribed to the podcast so that you can get every episode as it comes out in your feed. Until next time, invest your time, your talent, and your treasures. Develop your influence and impact the world