Episode 1670: Interview with Dr. Brian Arnold About Helping You Become the Person You Are Meant to Be

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Scott Maderer: [00:00:00] Thanks for joining us on episode 1,670 of the Inspired Stewardship podcast.

Dr. B: Hi, I'm Brian Arnold and I challenge you to invest in yourself, invest in others, develop your influence, and impact the world by using your time, your talent, and your treasures to live out your calling. Having the ability to become the person you are meant to be is key, and one way to be inspired to do that is to listen to this, the Inspired Stewardship Podcast, with my friend, Scott Maderer.

But he looks good, so he must be successful, and he's eating Top Ramen at his house. You know? And so we just, we look at others and say, "This is success," instead of reading in our Bibles or reading and, and listening to what God says, and where can I be successful? And if I'm working in my giftedness, most- uh, where God sent me to be and what His purpose for my life- [00:01:00]

Scott Maderer: Welcome, and thank you for joining us on the Inspired Stewardship Podcast.

If you truly desire to become the person who God wants you to be, then you must learn to use your time, your talent, and your treasures for your true calling. In the Inspired Stewardship Podcast, you will learn to invest in yourself, invest in others, and develop your influence so that you can impact the world

In today's podcast episode, I interview Dr. Brian Arnold. I ask Dr. B about what it means to become the person you are meant to be. I also ask Dr. B about the key habits of success, and Dr. B also shares with you why he sees life as a series of interconnected pillars that we must address. I have a great book that's been out for a while now called Inspired Living: Assemble the [00:02:00] Puzzle of Your Calling by Mastering Your Time, Your Talent, and Your Treasures.

You can find out more about that book over at inspiredlivingbook.com. It'll take you to a page where there's information, and you can sign up to get some mailings about it, as well as purchase a copy there. I'd love to see you get a copy and share with me how it impacted your world. Dr. Brian Arnold, otherwise known as Dr.

B, is the host of two inspiring podcasts, the Journey to Freedom podcast and Living Boldly with Purpose. He is a dynamic keynote speaker, a professor, and an author who has dedicated over two decades to helping individuals unlock their true potential and achieve meaningful success. He is the creator of the transformative Journey to Freedom program, a life-changing experience designed for those feeling stuck and ready to move forward.

Dr. B specializes in guiding individuals through personal and professional breakthroughs, focusing on key areas [00:03:00] like faith, finances, trust, health, and identity. He is dedicated to sharing authentic stories, actionable insights, and inspiring messages that connect with individuals from all backgrounds.

Known for his blend of humor, wisdom, and practical strategies, Dr. B is a sought-after speaker and mentor who leaves a lasting impact on everyone he works with. I'm thrilled to have him here with us today to share some of the invaluable lessons he's learned and insights he's gained from living a life of freedom and fulfillment Welcome to the show, Dr.

B.

Dr. B: Well, I am so excited to be on your show. I mean, I guess I can't wait to be here. You're in Bryan, Texas. I'm in Denver, Colorado. It is going to be a great

Scott Maderer: day. Yeah, it always is. It always is. And I, I love, uh, talking to you, Dr. B. So you and I have met not too long ago and have had a ch- mo- I don't know, four, five, six chances now to interact [00:04:00] at different levels, and I really look forward to sharing a little bit about your journey and your message with the listener today.

So with that in mind, I, I talked a lot in the intro about some of the work you've done, the books you've written, different things that you're, you're doing right now, uh, with Living Boldly With Purpose and all of this work. But at the same time, I always tell people intros are like Instagram photos.

Mm-hmm. They never show the whole picture. They just show- Ah, so, so true. So true ... they just show what we wanna frame. Yeah. So take us back in time a little bit and share a little bit about your journey and, and what has brought you to the point where you feel this is what you're called to do?

Dr. B: Well, thank you for that because a- as I go through, and some folks want you to start at different chapters in your life- One of the big chapters for me is literally when I was a little kid.

I was five, six, I don't know whatever second grade and third grade age you are, seven I guess. And I was told [00:05:00] that I was a special ed student. Not that I was just special, but I was special in education because I couldn't learn. You know, I, a- and I felt like I was learning just fine. I felt like I could read what was on those pages.

It just wasn't the same thing everybody else was reading. I was reading, there was different words. And, and so, uh, that became a journey of, um, not only self-discovery, but how do I get along and not compare.

Scott Maderer: Hmm.

Dr. B: You know, a- a- as a child, you know, you wanna be like everybody else, or at least within the same, uh, and get to do what all the other kids do.

And I re- a- and I can remember going on field trips that were different than the other kids. I don't know why they took the special ed kids on a short bus and they took us to, like, a different museum than the other kids went to, and I got to go on both field trips, so I was excited, you know, that I got to do that.

But when we got to classrooms and we got to stuff, I kinda started feeling like I wasn't enough, that I couldn't do [00:06:00] what everybody else was doing. I eventually was diagnosed with dyslexia. Right. Back in 1970 they had no clue what to call it. Uh, it just that you had a processing issue, and you're in third grade and you can't read.

Uh, and so, uh, that began my journey of I do not want to do school. I don't want nothing to do with school. I get to high school, um, I g- I'm ready to graduate high school. I haven't picked a college. I haven't taken an ACT. I haven't taken an SAT. I am going, in my mind I'm going to stunt school. I wanna be a stunt man.

That's all I wanna do. And my mom says, "We keep getting letters that you can go to school, and they're gonna pay for it, 'cause you happen to be a good athlete, son." And I'm like, "But I don't wanna go to school, Mom. I, you know, I love track and it's fun in high school, and yeah, I'm a state champion and that's cool, but at the same time, no, I don't wanna go to school."

And she says, "Well, if you go to college..." So she said that she was going to buy me a Jeep, uh, and that was enough [00:07:00] for this 18-year-old to say, "I guess I like track enough that I'll go to college. I'll run track. However, I will only go to- Wait. Was it, like- ...

Scott Maderer: go to a sc- ... track enough or you like Jeeps enough?

Dr. B: Yeah, exa- So track. Yeah, exactly. Whi- which one was, I'll, I'll run track so I can get a Jeep. Yeah. However, I'm gonna go to college as close to Hollywood as I can so that as soon as I don't like track anymore, like, my thought was after my freshman year, I'm out. At least I'll be close. So I went to a school called Azusa Pacific University, uh, which is close to Pasadena, California, which is close to Burbank, which is close, uh, to Hollywood.

Uh, and that was my plan. Uh, I'm still waiting for my Jeep from my mom. Uh, I have gotten several degrees since then. And Mom, if you're watching this, I'm ready. Which I know my mom's 80 years old, there's no way she's buying me a Jeep, but-

Scott Maderer: She... Hot Wheels.

Dr. B: Hot Wheels. Yeah, exactly. Hot Wheels Jeep. Exactly. [00:08:00] Yeah.

So I go to school, but I get, I have some mentors in my life now. I have coaches that understand where I'm at. I have folks that are pl- uh, I guess, just pouring into, uh, Brian's life at the time. And I enjoyed the the experience. I enjoyed the athletic experience. I enjoyed the fact that I got to go to Europe a couple years while I was in college to run track and all around the world.

And I said, "This stuff isn't really too bad." Uh, then I get my degree, and I got a degree in communications and PE 'cause I did five years, 'cause I red-shirted one year. And, uh, you know, I was able to get to a double major, and so I'm gonna be a teacher. Oh, yeah, I get to be a teacher in my life, and I, I, I said I'm gonna be a PE teacher.

That's where I'm gonna start out with. That's what I got my degree in. And I come back to Colorado, and then I go take the, the exam here in Colorado in order to be a PE teacher, and they say, um, "You can't pass a spelling test. You can't be a teacher- Mm ... here in the state." I'm like, "What?" I wanna teach people how to run [00:09:00] laps and be physically fit and run around.

Why do I have to spell onomatopoeia or whatever the heck word you're trying to make me spell in order to be a teacher? That's just our rules. It's how we do. That's our system.

Scott Maderer: Mm-hmm.

Dr. B: Back to California, uh, and become a teacher, and then I, then I get my master's in technology, which is the evening f- the playing field that evened out everything.

Because now I could speak to the computer and it came out spelled right. You know, I think back, w- I would wish, would've loved to take my spelling Colorado test with my, my Google voice. I would've passed the test easy. But it allowed me, uh, to now where I wasn't feeling like I wasn't enough. I felt like I was right where everybody else is at, and huge.

Scott Maderer: Yeah, my... That's, uh, a, a lot of that mirrors some things in my wife's journey and my journey. Um, you know, my wife, w- by the way, my wife has dyslexia so bad that sometimes when she types it for the computer goes, "I have no idea what you're trying to spell." It's like- [00:10:00] Believe me,

Dr. B: mine does too.

Scott Maderer: Yeah. And I, and I have to jump in and kinda help, "Oh, okay, you're trying to say this." This at least gets you close enough." Um, but she and I both have dyslexia. Now, in, in my case, um, mine is mainly in the writing and numbers area, not, not reading. I read very well, but, um, my, my processing is in, in the graphics, so graphia.

They call it dysgraphia and dysnumria around numbers, which of course now I work with people on money all the time.

Dr. B: There you go.

Scott Maderer: Nothing but numbers. I love it.

Dr. B: I love it. Yes.

Scott Maderer: Uh, it is, it is funny. Sometimes we gravitate to those areas that, uh, were challenging for us, and then they, they become the very areas that we like to work in.

So one of the things I like to highlight for people is kind of what I call the intersection between our, our faith journey and our life journey. So for you, how has your faith journey played out kind of in parallel to that, that journey that you [00:11:00] were just talking about, about falling into comparison and, and those things?

Dr. B: Yeah, so I, I would say that was the other part of my life that made me feel like God had a special calling on my life. Um, when we were, we were smaller and, you know, I accepted Christ as y- young in, in, uh, I- probably early sixth grade, junior high, something like that. And, and I loved ministry, I I, we were able to go, uh, to churches that had field trips that, uh, we could do as young adult- or young teenagers.

You know, I can remember going to Mount Rushmore and being part of a choir and having a, a solo and we're going to these little bitty churches with nine people in it, but I'm s- I'm still singing, right? I've it don't matter to me how many people are there. Uh, I got to go spend a couple summers on a Navajo reservation.

Uh, and I, my, my mo- my grandma was Choctaw. She was born on a Choctaw reservation, so for me to go [00:12:00] and experience Native American culture for a whole summer, and help and serve and be part of ministry. Uh, it also, um, it, it formed my life. Like, I can remember, you know, my friends in school and I'm like, "No, this is what I..."

You know, at the time I'm dedicated to preserving my body and that kind of stuff. And I can remember when I was 18, I actually drank a whole, 'cause that's when you're allowed to drink beer, and I hadn't drank at all. The kids are at high school parties and drinking, and I drank a whole bunch of beers on my 18th birthday.

I threw up, I fell down in the snow. Um, and I, that's literally the last time I really drank at all in my lifetime. Not because I'm a Christian or because it's not okay for Christians to do that. It was just like, I don't know if God thinks this is a great thing for me to be able to do. I don't like it, and I'm not succumbing to my peer pressure of doing it because I wanna be an example.

Mm. And so, you know, Azusa Pacific University is a Christian school. Uh, you know, so I [00:13:00] have a, uh, like a minor in theology. Uh, I was ordained in the, in the early '80s, and so I'm a chaplain at a, at a rehab center right now for the last 10 years. Uh, and so there's nothing that I do I try to do that doesn't have a faith component as part of it.

Right now I have a, um, what do you call it? A, I've taken my devotional that I do with myself every morning, and I've gone live. It's called The Routine.Life. So every morning it has a devotional, it has a gratitude session, it has a prayer, it has a, your word of the day, all because, uh, you know, I never wanted to be like a pastor of a church, but I've always wanted to be in ministry, if that makes sense.

Mm-hmm. I've always wanted to help people out. And so whether I'm in corporate, in business and doing my real estate business, or I'm, you know, at a, uh, working for Young Life as a area developer and spending summers in camps, uh, ministry and faith and my walk [00:14:00] with the Lord has just been number one in my life and continues to even be more so today.

Scott Maderer: Mm-hmm. Yeah, I think, uh, a lot of times people hear ministry and they immediately think clergy and, and pastor, and it's like that, that's not even what that word means. But, but it's, you know, what we, what we attribute to it, it's like no no. Um it, just like being pastoral isn't meaning, doesn't mean you have to be a pastor.

Mm-hmm. Um, tho- those words mean different things. So talk a little bit about the work you're doing now with Living Boldly with Purpose. You know, I've, I've had the honor of, of speaking a few times over in your group and, um, I really a- appreciate the culture and the community you're pulling together there.

So share with folks what that is and, and why, why did you decide to, to bring together a community like that?

Dr. B: One of the things that, you know, as I, I, I don't know if I, if I said this, but I have [00:15:00] eight children and I have 16 grandkids. And one of the- You, you

Scott Maderer: did not, but wow.

Dr. B: And so, and I've been, like you said, I was a teacher, like you were, you know, a coach.

I've been around people so much, and what I realize as I get older and I get wiser, I hope I get wiser, and I feel like there's more legacy that's available in my life, I start thinking of like, you know, I had a, I had one of my athletes call me that when I first started coaching at the high school back when I was 24, I'm 60 now, so they're in their 50s, and they're calling me and they're saying, "You made an impact and you made a difference in my life, and you helped me figure this out."

And when I think about the word alignment, I'm like, "Well, how many people say this is who they are, but then you look at their life and you look at the things that they're doing, and there's no congruency at all?" somebody will say, "Well, I, I'm a great follow-upper. I, I follow up on everybody." And I'll go, "Okay.

Well, [00:16:00] let me see your calendar. Show me which one of these appointments is a follow-up appointment. 'Cause you just told me last week you spoke to, you know, 22 people, and you're a great follow-up person. There's like six people in here. How is that congruent?" Or people who will say, um, "I put God first in my life.

He's the number one thing in my life." Okay. Well, show me in your calendar where you're... I, I'm not saying you gotta go to church. I'm not saying... I'm just saying show me where you're putting God first. Show me where that's happening. And what I found out is there's a longing for people, especially in relationships, uh, to have an alignment and to be successful with the ability with alignment.

So the podcast came about because I'm going, "Okay, what does it take, uh, when I look at people who are doing well, who are being successful, who have stepped out, and then how do we bridge that gap from the people who may watch it?" Uh, I even think for me [00:17:00] when I do the podcast, I'm doing it even more for the people who are my guests on there because they get to start sharing their life out loud.

It's one thing to share your life and say, "This is who I am and I do all these things," and then somebody asks you a question like you just asked me, "What is that?" And you go- Uh, I don't know, but I want to. I wanna share with people. I have this desire. God's told me He wants me to be. Well, how do you do that?

How do you express that? How do you, you get out there? And so living boldly with purpose, and the community's called Becoming the Person, uh, the Be- Becoming the Person Universe, so becomingtheperson.com is where you go, and it's all about helping people be in alignment and become the very best that God has put them on this earth to be.

What does it mean to be in purpose? So many people who go, "Well, my dad told me I was supposed to be an attorney," or, "My dad told me I was supposed to be in construction," or, "My mom told me I was supposed to be a chef, and I'm a chef, and I hate it." [00:18:00] Okay. Well, why do you think God put you on here? "Well, He gave me this vision and this dream to do all these things."

Why aren't you doing it? "I don't know. I don't know how." All right. Well, let's put this together and so that you can be totally excited about life.

Scott Maderer: Yeah. Yeah. The, the thing, uh, a- and I've seen it too, is I, I think so often we don't do that step of actually even stopping to define what is success. You know, what-

Dr. B: Mm-hmm

Scott Maderer: what do we want? What should it look like? Those sorts of things. And, and I know you've seen and worked with folks as a coach, before as a teacher, you know, all of these things, so like me, where people have a lot of misconceptions around success.

Dr. B: Mm.

Scott Maderer: Right. What do you, what do you see as some of the biggest hurdles or misconceptions or what are, what are the traps that we have around success, so to speak?[00:19:00]

Dr. B: I would say the number one unequivocally issue with the trap of success is the trap of comparison.

Scott Maderer: Mm.

Dr. B: Because somehow when we start comparing our lives and our gifts and what God has gifted us to be able to do with somebody else who's doing something maybe totally different, now we think that we need to tr- you know, move our trajectory and do it like they did it because somehow they're successful.

It's even a greater comparison now because social media. So now I can pick up this device, I can scroll through it, and I see this person who it seems like they're successful because they popped up on my screen, so they have- We're back to the, we're back to the Instagram

Scott Maderer: photos, right?

Dr. B: Yeah. So somehow they must be successful, and I should do what they're doing so I can have the success that they have.

And they told me, so we we see people, we go to the barber shop and there's [00:20:00] Patrick Mahomes, uh, T-shirts, there's jerseys everywhere, and we say, "Well, that guy's successful." Yeah, he's a very successful football player 'cause he's won football championships, but that doesn't mean he's successful in his life.

That doesn't mean he's successful in his relationships. That doesn't mean but that's all we see. We compare and say, "Well, if I can't be that football champion- then somehow I'm not successful. Or if I can't be that, you know, $250,000 CEO of my company, somehow I'm, I'm not successful. And yet I have these amazing kids who are doing these amazing things, and a family unit that works so well.

Well, that, that's not showing up as successful in my comparison world or my comparison phase.

Scott Maderer: And the CEO's been divorced, or been, been divorced four times and hasn't seen- Yeah ... hasn't seen their kids for 10 years 'cause they hate him.

Dr. B: Yeah, exactly. Or, you know, you see a car or you see, you go, "Oh, that guy must be successful [00:21:00] 'cause he's driving around that Mercedes," but, you know, he spent $100,000 on the Mercedes, and it's, at what e- you know, and he's paying $1,200 a month, and he's sweating every month to be able to pay for this car, but he looks good, so he must be successful, and he's eating Top Ramen at his house, you know? Mm-hmm. And so we just, we look at others and say, "This is success," instead of reading in our Bibles or reading and, and listening to what God says, and where can I be successful?

And if I'm working in my giftedness, most l- where God sent me to be and what his purpose for my life, and I'm doing it diligently, most likely you're gonna be success- I remember you told me even a story of yourself and, you know, when you guys were saying, "I wanna get out of debt," you know? Oh, my gosh, and you guys came together and you did it, and you have this amazing relationship with your wife now, uh, because that's success.

But everybody doesn't hear that story, right? You know, they may look at you and [00:22:00] go, "Well he doesn't seem like he lives in this big house." And, but you chose not to live in that big house because you wanted to be successful in your marriage, right? And th- and the rest of the world might not, might see that and go, "Wait a minute.

No." And then you're like the happiest man on the planet 'cause you got this amazing wife, and the guy two doors down who has the the extra-big house is stressing all night long, gonna have a heart attack, gonna have a stroke, gonna have all these things. And we say, "Well, that guy's successful, and you're not."

I mean, it's just, it's so crazy.

Scott Maderer: Yeah. There's a lot of, um- wisdom in recognizing, too, that I think so much of what we end up seeing and and treating as these indicators are really just noise. You know, I, I think about- Yeah ... s- trying to figure out the signal from the noise, right? You know, what, what's, what's actually important to pay attention to versus what is, [00:23:00] what is noise.

You know, if you're a business owner, that's vitally important. If you're in communication, that's vitally important. If you're, you're in your relationships, that's vitally important. You know, what's signal, what's noise? What's, what's actually the stuff that matters? Yeah. And all too often, I think, especially as entrepreneurs, we just bounce around from thing to thing to thing to thing to thing, you know, like a, like a rabbit on, you know, on speed because we're, we're trying to figure out what, what the important things is, and we never stop to, to figure out the signal.

When you look at folks with their kind of routines, their habits their success patterns, what... How do you see kind of the fundamentals to kind of dial into that, what actually matters, what's the real signal out of the noise?

Dr. B: Yeah. And, and for everybody it's different, but habits aren't. We are going to create habits.

We're gonna create systems in our [00:24:00] life to be able to go through the systems. But sometimes we don't think that some of those systems we create are bad for us, that are not good for our relationships, are not good for our health, our n- Not good for anything. You know, when you were talking about success, sometimes we'll see folks that are, like, famous as people that are successful.

Sometimes the most dysfunctional people that you've ever seen or been around because they have to have somebody else validate them every step of the way. Like, if I'm an actor and I don't get people to go to the movies or I don't get people to go to the tele- watch it on television, they validate by me by showing up for it or not.

And I think some of us when we develop our habits and we develop our congruencies, that alignment is so important is I'm a person who creates these habits that will get to the end, and sometimes we don't know what that end is or we haven't envisioned what that end is, and we just kind of go through [00:25:00] life there.

And so where that turns around is, like, there are... Success leaves clues. Like, let- let's just use debt as, as an example, right? People that are successfully financially probably that we would should consider financially successful don't have a lot of debt, and yet we go and we go, "Okay, I'm gonna buy this, and this," and I have a habit of buying everything I see first.

I can't stop. I had a lady who told me that I'm working with now that told me the other day, "Every time I see something, I gotta buy it." And I'm like, "Why? W- w- what is it that it does for you, and how does it comfort you, you know, as a barrier?" And there's so many things in our lives and in our businesses and the signals that you're, we're looking for that somebody from the outside who's successful in that area can pick it out like that.

Mm-hmm. And yet the person who's in the middle of it says, "Well, I just gotta make..." You know, the other thing she told me, she says, "I have to make [00:26:00] two hours of phone calls all day long, you know, every day 'cause that's what's gonna make me successful. You know, I've been told that two hours from 10:00 to noon, I get on the phone and I call and call and call and call," right?

And I said, "Great. So you, you did that for a month three months ago." Did you get any responses from that? There must be something wrong with what you're saying or the people you're calling if you're not getting successful calls at it. All you're doing is formatting how to do it wrong.

Scott Maderer: Mm-hmm.

Dr. B: And you're getting a great habit of how to do it wrong.

How about we do less, but we dial it in to what works based on other... You know, maybe we'll try different things based on your personality and what you're doing and how you're saying it, and even how you show up to sit down to make phone calls, and your attitude, and your s- what's your head space to be able to do it.

Now we can make an impact on... And, and it might be, you know what? [00:27:00] There are other people in the world that you could pay $5, $6, $7 an hour to make that call for you. Let's just stop. Let's... You... We're, we're, we're... We don't have enough time. You can hold it. We don't have enough time to, to really, truly say, "We'll do some practicing with you."

But where did you hear that in order for you to be successful, you have to spend the next 700 hours of your day making these phone calls? Mm-hmm. You'll get good phone calls, but that's not maybe where we need to be. Yeah.

Scott Maderer: The the key word that you said she said that immediately made my ears perk up is, "I have to make two hours of phone calls a day."

Mm. Yeah. 'Cause the minute anyone tells me I have to do something, it's like, no, you don't have to do anything. Yeah. You chose to do it. Um, because have to takes away my power. You know? Have to means I have no choice. I, you know, I, I, I have to. I, I, I [00:28:00] have no choice in this. It's inevitable.

Where I chose to, okay, well, you can also choose not to. And again, I'm not even saying the choice is good or bad. It's not a value statement. It's just an observation that you have more power than you believe. Because I, I, yeah, I hate the, I hate the word have to. I use it, too, and I hate it. You know?

I've really tried to wash that word from my language- Yeah, I do too ... because it's, it's such a, it's such a powerless word. It's such a victim word to me. So what are some of the things that you've

Dr. B: seen- Yeah. I, I, I, I so agree with you.

Scott Maderer: Yeah. Go ahead.

Dr. B: No, I just said I agree with you. Yeah, I agree with you.

Scott Maderer: What are some of the things that you've seen as, as pillars? You know, you've mentioned y- your own faith. You've mentioned finances just then. What are some of the areas that you see as pillar keystones for folks to, to work and become the person that they're called to be?

Dr. B: I, I [00:29:00] have five key ones, and there are more, and they can be traded out and in- inserted, but if I can start there as a foundation, uh, I believe we can move to the other part. And they're trust, faith, identity, health, and finance. Because those things intersect our lives every single day, all day long, and they're things if we can get a handle on can change the trajectory of our life.

When I think about trust and how often that we need to trust, whether we're trusting a system or we're trusting people or we're trusting what's around us, the thing that stops us in a lot of cases is this inability to trust or this fear if I trust this, then somehow it's not gonna work out for me. Or the fear is I shouldn't trust that because I've seen a whole bunch of examples of this happening, and now I should verify.

I trust, but now I need to go verify because a, th- you know, there are things out there where I may not be good at it, or there, there, there are blind spots in my whole world even [00:30:00] today that I've never been there. So how can I trust the, that it's gonna work out for me? Uh, faith obviously is number one. Uh, you know, when you have God in the center of everything, it seems like everything works out.

Every one of my, uh, affirmations is everything works out for me because I serve an unlimited God, you know? You know, and there are so many things in, in my faith. When I think about my health, people that are not healthy or struggle with health or struggle, it's hard to get... If you've ever been sick, you know, even if it's a cold that's a pretty severe cold, and try to get up and do a whole lot, it is impossible or so hard to do.

And yet we, uh, you know, we don't take care of ourselves. We don't exercise. We don't take in en- enough oxygen. It's funny, in the mornings as I'm doing, now that I'm doing this routine live thing part of my first section is I, I do a breathing exercise, and then we drink water. And, uh, ul- ultimately, [00:31:00] 'cause you can see when people pop in and out of the podcast sometimes when it's live, and as soon as I s- like, I'm, I'm talking and I'm doing this great devotional and, you know, I'm hitting somebody emotionally, and people stay on for that.

Soon as I start breathing and, and, uh, and drinking water, folks are like, "I guess I don't have to stay for this. I, this isn't part of my life." And, like, to me, it's almost as important, if, if not more important, uh, than the devotional that I'm doing or the gratitude things that I'm talking about or the, you know?

Like, no, breathing, extra breathing and getting that oxygen in and the right nutritions in your body. If you've ever had your body work correctly, and I know you have as well, but y- there's nothing that can stop you that you can't do. Mm. It's when all these other things that we just don't take care of because, uh, we live in a society that processed foods and diets and sugar and all this other stuff stops us.

Uh, so, the identity You know, I, I don't know if you've read this Tony Robbins, and I'm, I'm not gonna say [00:32:00] Tony Robbins is the guru of the world or, you know, but he does say some good stuff every now and again. So he said, "The most con- um, uh, powerful force in the universe is being congruent with the identity that you hold for yourself."

It, it just goes along to saying that as you develop that identity of who you are and what you can do and what you can be, and you realize you're, you're God's greatest gift and you are enough, and you start holding that identity, the world opens up all these different opportunities for you. And it's those who th- have this identity of, uh, I just had...

You know, on the podcast I did before, we talked a lot about childhood trauma. And, and she said that she was abused, sexually abused by her grandfather when she was a kid. But she is like, she says, "I am... I, I have the best life I could possibly have right now." And then I'll meet somebody else from across the street that just their identity is, "I am a victim and this happened to me, and because this happened to [00:33:00] me, I can never have a fruitful life."

And that's, I mean, that's, that's not how God wired us. The God that wired me says that I can remember the pain of things that have happened, and I'm just saying, let's say a cut on my hand. I remember that it hurts, but I don't remember the pain. Our bodies can't remember the actual pain and how much it hurted.

We can remember and kinda rationalize about, "Yeah, I can remember that hurt, and I can kinda compare it to other pains," but we don't remember the actual pain. 'Cause He's, He's allowed people to forgive. He's allowed that to be taken away, and He's allowed us to move forward.

Scott Maderer: And so- Yeah that's why your wife has had eight children.

Dr. B: Yes. I love it.

Scott Maderer: Well, talk about- 'Cause trust me, if she remembered it, y'all would've stopped at one.

Dr. B: And that's why our, some of our, like, our, uh, kid number six and seven are adopted.

Scott Maderer: Well, there you go. My, uh, my aunt [00:34:00] says that to be fair, it ought to be like this. The woman has the first child. Oh. The man has the second child.

The woman has the third child. She says, "With, if we did it that way, I guarantee you nobody would have more than three kids."

Dr. B: Yep. Absolutely. Absolutely. Oh, I love that. That

Scott Maderer: is so- Anyway. No. So the identity, yeah.

Dr. B: So identity is so important, and we, and our identity and our lives shift. They move forward. They grow.

Uh, I am not the same person that I was when I was trying to be a stuntman at 20 years old and not go to school, you know. Otherwise, I wouldn't have a doctorate right now. I wouldn't have gone to school. I wouldn't have got more education. Uh, my identity of who I am and who I believe I am, and whose I am has changed over time.

So important. So trust, faith, identity, health, and then finances are the other thing. Because if we pretend that, that money doesn't intersect our lives every day, you know, there's not a second in the day that I'm not spending money or trying to make money. The, it do- there just isn't. And, you know, my electricity's on that's powering this computer [00:35:00] right now, which means the electric company is charging me money right now to just sit here.

So there's, there's no time it intersects, and if I don't understand it or I decide I don't need to understand it, uh, then I've just put myself behind- uh, the eight ball. I don't have to understand everything about it, and I put people in my life. You know, and I guess the other pillar would be just relationship.

Mm. You know, God created us to be in relationship. He didn't create us to be monolithic where we're by ourselves and we do everything on our own, and we don't need anybody. He programmed us so that not only, uh, are we helping to take care of ourselves, but we're able, He gives us enough in ex- in excess to be able to help and take care of other folks.

Scott Maderer: Yeah. And I think too and again, like you, you could slice these and name these different categories. You know, you, you see like the Zig Ziglar has the wheel of life with, you know- Mm-hmm ... relationship and all of that. And again, I, I think we're all kind of saying the same thing. We're just say- it's kind of like [00:36:00] DiSC versus- Yeah

Enneagram versus Myers-Briggs. It's like-

Dr. B: Yeah ...

Scott Maderer: we're all talking about the same stuff. We're just using different lenses. So-

Dr. B: Yeah ...

Scott Maderer: at, at the end of the day, the other thing that I've seen, and, and I'd like your take on it, is it, it seems like- No matter what you do, if one of these starts to get off balance, it, it begins to spiral downward, you know?

But if you can also begin to build in one of 'em, they'll spiral, spiral upward, you know? It, it's, there's always a feedback loop, and it's almost which direction are you gonna go, if that makes sense. Have you seen that in the work that you've done with folks?

Dr. B: I have. Um there, there's some foundational things that need to happen, and people are in different seasons in their life.

Scott Maderer: Absolutely. Yep.

Dr. B: And because they're in different seasons, they're gonna... You might spend more time in one area or another. Sure. You know, uh, relationships might be super important right now, and you're gonna... You know, when you have [00:37:00] kids that you gotta spend time and, you know, and you gotta be there for them, and you've gotta raise them and all those things.

Well, when they get older, you don't have to spend as much time with your kids, but it's still an important portion of what you do and the percentage that you do. But I do find people who are so far out of balance that they're missing some of the fina- the foundational pieces. The, the, they, they got the trust piece.

They're overweight at the same time, and not just overweight, but they're eating a whole bunch of stuff that makes them tired all the time or, you know, doing stuff where they can't get out of bed, and they're depressed. And, you know, that gets so far out that now we have to work on that s- on that portion just in order to get you to an even spot.

You know, your identity, the, your belief in yourself is, is at such a low point. Whatever's happened, and, and, you know, life is gonna happen to all of us, and there are gonna be some times when, man, I don't know how to deal with that. Yeah. I don't know. And then so much of, [00:38:00] I think, when you think of people who are kind of off-kilter or who are unbalanced, uh, and balance isn't 30/30/30/30/30 or 50/50, I mean, that the issue is, is they try to fix all issues themself.

Scott Maderer: Mm-hmm.

Dr. B: And if they could have done that, they probably would have done it before they'd gotten to the spot where they're at right now. If they were totally capable of fixing it themselves, they wouldn't have let themselves get to that point. And so, uh, the vulnerability of people to trust enough to ask somebody else for help, and then listen to the help that they're getting.

And even if you have to ask three or four people and you pick the best one, then once you pick the best one, then you need to go with whatever, whoever that is, and let them help you get out. It, it's, it's very hard to find mentors and coaches and people around that if you show up [00:39:00] and you're willing to do the work, that aren't gonna help you.

It's just it's just, yeah.

Scott Maderer: There, there's a lot of help out there, but a lot of times we don't... Well, it's pride. We, you

Dr. B: know-

Scott Maderer: Yeah, it's pride ... it it really comes down to pride. Um, and I've been guilty of that. Uh, I'm sure you have as well- Mm-hmm ... of, of, "No, I gotta figure this out and suck it up and, and do it myself," you know?

I'm, I'm, I'm... Yeah. It's so much quicker when you can lean on the community. Which again, I think brings back to, um the, the becoming the person- and, you know, the creating communities, whether it's the podcast community, whether it's becoming the person- The person ... community, whether it's the...

You know it, all of these things are about bringing people together to kind of lift each other up.

Dr. B: Yeah. And especially in, in an age right now where technology is trying to separate us apart. I don't need you because the AI can talk to me, and the AI's smarter than you. [00:40:00] Or, uh, I, I don't, you know, I can scroll every day and I don't have to actually have a relationship with you because I can get my entertainment and my enjoyment of what's going on on social media.

I mean, there's just... I, I can't imagine me being 22 years old right now, uh, and trying to deal with life. And I, you know, I'm sure I would've been able to figure out how to make it. All I just know is my old 22-year-old self and thinking, "Wow, could I have- Had healthy relationships. Like, where did we meet?

Like, you know, at church I think there was definitely some good church spaces for me, but my family was the track family that I had in college. Mm-hmm. You know, my buddies were my, you know, athletes that I spent time with, and we did life together and the community where I lived and knowing my neighbors.

We didn't just raise up the garage and pull in and shut it down, and we didn't know who each other is. [00:41:00] You know, my neighbors that I have right now, I know them. They're my age, and so we talk all the time, and we'll sit outside for a couple hours. We're not running inside trying to play. And then I see my kids talking to folks that are on a computer, you know, playing their games, and they're like, "Who's on the other end of that?"

And it used to be 10 years ago they would say, "I got my headphones on. I'm talking to somebody that's over the internet, and we're talking." Now I said, "Is that AI, or is that, uh, an actual person you're talking to?" Sometimes they say, "I don't know," and sometimes they'll tell me it's AI. So your communication on most of your day when it's free time is with an artificial intelligence that is telling you exactly what you wanna hear-

Scott Maderer: Mm-hmm

Dr. B: 'cause you asked them to?

Scott Maderer: Well, and, and by the way, I, I hate the name AI for what it is currently 'cause it's not intelligence.

Dr. B: No,

Scott Maderer: no. Um, I, I actually, I think we should call it what it is, which is a large language model, you know? An LLM. Yeah. It, that's what it really is. And, and [00:42:00] again, that's not a bad thing.

I'm not... That's not a value judgment. Yeah. It's... But it is, when we call it intelligent, we have a certain expectation that isn't really what it's capable of doing. So we're, you know, we're trivia. It's kind of if, if we call a screwdriver a hammer, it doesn't mean it works well as a hammer, you know? No,

Dr. B: especially at putting a screw in the wall.

Scott Maderer: Yeah. So if I hand you a screwdriver and I say, "Here, this is a hammer," and therefore you use it like a hammer, you're not using the best tool for the job. So it's not that's why I think the name is important. So I've got a few questions that I like to ask all of my guests, but before I go there and ask you those, is there anything else about the work you do or, uh, you know, the, the tools you're putting out, the podcast, the books, anything else that you'd like to share with the listener?

Dr. B: Yeah, I, I'd just like to say whatever I can do to help wherever you're at. You know, I'm working on a couple different projects where I'm trying to help people [00:43:00] truly become, uh, the person that God put them on this earth to be. And if, if folks are lost or they're not able to do it, then, you know, as we talk about those five pillars, those are foundations, uh, that, uh, resonated with me.

And like you said, they could be called different names, uh, but there's just some things that we have to do, uh, if we're working towards being successful, uh, that the clues are there, uh, the time is there to be able to do it, and the folks that just wait, oh, yeah, please don't wait. Because life is, life is gonna...

10 years is gonna happen whether you're doing something to improve yourself or not. So whether it's the books you read, the people you listen to, the people you hang out with, start investing in you right now

Scott Maderer: So my brand has inspired stewardship, and I kind of run things through that lens of stewardship.

Mm-hmm. And yet that's one of those words that I've discovered over the years can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. [00:44:00] So when you hear the word stewardship, what does that word mean to you?

Dr. B: It means that I'm responsible for what I've been given. That, stewardship means that, uh...

And I, and I think it comes from God, where it says, "I've given you this," whether it's a tool, whether it's money, whether it's a gift, whether it's, you know, whatever you've been given, uh, that you didn't have to work for. Now you're in, in charge of being, uh, responsible for making it even better Or responsible for helping out another person with.

To me, that I guess would be stewardship in my mind of, yeah, that's what's important.

Scott Maderer: So this is my favorite question that I like to ask everybody. Imagine for a moment that I can invent this magic machine, and with this machine, I was able to take you from where you are today, there in, in [00:45:00] Denver, and transport you into the future, maybe 150, maybe even 250 years.

But through the power of this machine, you were able to look back and see your entire life, see all of the connections, see all of the ripples, see all of the impacts you've left. What impact do you hope you've left in the world?

Dr. B: What a great question. The impact that I left would be, I hope I would leave, in his example of, of a child of God that did everything that he could and able to make the world a better place. And when I say the world a better place, I'm not talking about buildings or cars or material things. That the people that I've crossed or been with me that, that I've, whether I've impacted or have crossed my path, can say, "I am a better person because-" Brian told me or shared with me or influenced me in some way that helped me change [00:46:00] what I was doing if it was wrong or, or helped me enhance the things that I was doing or, that are right, so that they can go then help another generation of people doing stuff.

Scott Maderer: So what's on the roadmap? What's coming next as you continue on your journey?

Dr. B: Well, I think the, the big thing, I think for us in that, the big thing in my journey is increasing our, our community and having pe- being able to help people out, uh, to be that, become that person. Uh, you know, I, I'm, I'm super excited at some of the coaching things that I'm gonna be able to do, and some of the guarantees I'm gonna be able to help people, not only to increase their income, but increase their alignment.

Uh, and to me, i- if that's the, the greatest thing that I can do, uh, to my horizon to be more of a granddad and watch a whole bunch of my grandkids doing sports or plays or whatever just ex- excites them, and being part of their lives and, and making sure that, "Hey, Grandpa was here when he was [00:47:00] alive coming to our stuff."

And, uh, you know, I, I can't wait to experience, you know, even, uh, our older years, uh, with my wife and the things, and the traveling, and the things that we may be able to go out and do. Uh, and then, you know, I guess most importantly, you know, is just, uh, those relationships that I get to kindle. Uh, you know, there's a statis- a statistic that I heard the, not too long ago.

It says, "90% of the people that you interact with on a regular basis other than your family, uh, today you won't be interacting with in five years."

Hmm.

Dr. B: And I, and I pulled my phone up, and I looked through it. I'm going, "Yep, I haven't talked to him, I haven't talked to him, I haven't talked to..." You know? And so my prayer would be that I don't lose relationships unless, you know, some of them need to evolve.

Uh, but that at least when I was in that relationship with them, they will remember me as somebody that made a difference. [00:48:00]

Scott Maderer: So you can find out more about, uh, Dr. B over at his website, BrianArnold.com. Of course, I'll have a link to that over in the show notes as well. Dr. B, what else would you like to share with the listener?

Dr. B: No, the, I guess I'd love to say that I just want you to know you're God's greatest gift. He loves you if you allow Him to. Let Him wrap His arms around you today and, and be with you. You are also an answer to somebody else's prayer. And so that doesn't mean you go out and say, "Here's how I'm going to answer your prayer."

You go around and say, "God, I'm attentive and I'm aware that I might be able, uh, to help somebody out today. Please use me. Please put me in their, in your life." And finally, that you were born for greatness, and the greatness that's inside you is just waiting to come out. Uh, let us help you. Let other folks help you.

Don't try to do it all by yourself. And that's what I would wanna leave with people.

Scott Maderer: Amen.[00:49:00]

Thanks so much for listening to the Inspired Stewardship podcast. As a subscriber and listener, we challenge you to not just sit back and passively listen, but act on what you've heard and find a way to live your calling. If you enjoyed this episode please do us a favor. Go over to inspiredstewardship.com/itunesrate, all one word, itunesrate.

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Dr. B: Develop your influence and impact the [00:50:00] world