Episode 1644: Interview with Amberly Lago About Building Real Resilience

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Scott Maderer: [00:00:00] Thanks for joining us on episode 1,644 of the Inspired Stewardship Podcast.

Amberly Lago: I'm Amberly Lago. I challenge you to invest in yourself, invest in others, develop your influence and impact the world by using your time, your talent, and your treasures to live out your calling. Having the ability to find your joy strategy is key, and one way to be inspired to do that is to listen to this The Inspired Stewardship Podcast with my friend Scott Maderer.

And in that moment, I knew why. I knew why I was gonna get through this. And I think when you ask yourself why it activates your heart, it activates the. Spirit, it gets your adrenaline going, it gets your blood pumping, and it allows you to get [00:01:00] up again and again and again. So

Scott Maderer: welcome and thank you for joining us on the Inspired Stewardship Podcast.

If you truly desire to become the person who God wants you to be, then you must learn to use your time, your talent, and your treasures for your true calling. In the inspired Stewardship podcast, you will learn to invest in yourself. Invest in others and develop your influence so that you can impact the world.

In today's podcast episode, I interview Amberly Lago. I ask Amberly about what real resilience means. I also ask Amberly to share with you what she means by joy as a strategy. And Amberly also shares with you tips on how to keep moving forward even when feeling challenged. I have a great book that's been out for a while now called Inspired Living Assemble the Puzzle of your [00:02:00] Calling by mastering your Time, your talent, and your treasures.

You can find out more about that book over an inspired living book. Dot com. It'll take you to a page where there's information and you can sign up to get some mailings about it, as well as purchase a copy there. I'd love to see you get a copy and share with me how it impacted your world. Emily Lago is a USA today bestselling author of Joy Through the Journey, she is an internationally renowned speaker on grit, resilience, and human connection, inspiring others to find joy through life's challenges.

Amberly has captivated audiences at global corporations, including Lululemon, Google, Herbalife Plexus, and Athleta. Her TEDx talk has garnered hundreds of thousands of views motivating listeners around the world. As a highly sought after thought leader, coach, and bestselling author, Amberly's expertise has been featured in prominent media outlets such as People Health and Shape Magazine, [00:03:00] Forbes, and USA today, where she was named one of the nation's top influential speakers.

She has also appeared on the Doctor's Hallmark and The Today Show. Amberly hosts the Amberly Lago show, a podcast ranked in the top 1% by Apple, where she shares impactful insights with leading experts and influencers. Throughout her career, Amberly has empowered thousands of clients to overcome personal and professional challenges, guiding them towards achieving unstoppable success.

Amberly's own story of resilience is equally remarkable. After a devastating motorcycle accident and 34 surgeries to save her leg, she emerged stronger by developing her signature pacer method, a powerful framework that teaches how authentic connections foster resilience, joy, and lasting success.

Welcome to the show, Amberly.

Amberly Lago: Thank you for having me. It's so good to see you again.

Scott Maderer: Absolutely. I'm happy to talk to you today and visit a little bit. So I shared a little [00:04:00] in the intro about some of the things you do, some of the things you've done, a little bit about your books, your methods, the work you do.

But I also know that the work we do today doesn't come. You know, just out of nowhere. It comes from past. It comes from past experiences, it comes from our journey. So talk to us a little bit, take us back in time and talk to us a little bit about your journey and what brought you to the point where this is the message you feel called to put out into the world.

Amberly Lago: Thank you so much and thank you for that awesome introduction. And you know, I never imagined that I would be doing the work that I'm doing now. I never imagined I'd be standing on stages and sharing a message. I was never a speaker. I never imagined I would write books. I don't even have a college education, especially a fancy one like you from Texas a and m, where my daughter wants to go to school.

Scott Maderer: We were talking about that this morning. It's a good

Amberly Lago: story. Yeah. Um, you know, I was in the fitness industry for [00:05:00] 26 years and before that I was a professional dancer, so I lived my whole life on the dance floor and then the gym floor. I didn't even buy my first computer until about. Seven years ago. So for me to be using technology, a mic and zoom is quite impressive for myself.

'cause it's been, I, I'm, I'm trying to get more savvy with tech, but. You know, everything changed in the blink of an eye. When I had a, a near death accident. I was on my Harley coming home from work, and I got hit by an SUV. And I think sometimes when we go through something very, very challenging, we think, oh, well, I thought anyway that there's no way I am gonna get through this.

What am I gonna do? I mean I lost everything. I lost my career. I had $2.9 million worth of medical expenses. When I was hit by the SUV, my leg was [00:06:00] completely crushed into pieces. I didn't know it at the time, but my femoral artery was severed. Mm-hmm. And, um, I was rushed to the hospital and I was put in induced coma because they couldn't control my pain.

And, um, I was literally bleeding out. I'd lost so much blood with, and, and all my organs were shutting down. And so when I woke up out of a coma, the first thing I learned was I had a 1% chance of saving my leg from amputation. And I just remember waking up. And the the doctor saying, you know, we are so sorry.

Your leg is like a war wound. There's nothing we can do for you. We need to go ahead and amputate. And when they told me there was a 1% chance. I thought, well, so you're saying there's a chance, like that's all I focused on was that 1%, and that was my glimmer of hope that got me through surgery after surgery, 34 surgeries in total to save my leg months [00:07:00] in the hospital, and just thousands of hours of excruciating.

Physical therapy and, um, it was a, it wasn't like I got through that and then I was like, oh, all is good and now I think I'm gonna go be a keynote speaker and write books. It was years of in and out of the hospital and a diagnosis of complex regional pain syndrome, which is, um, a disease of the sympathetic nervous system where you're, there's.

There's supposedly no known cure, and for lack of a better term, it's where your nervous system needs to be rebooted. There's a constant loop of pain, so even though my accident was 15 years ago, I still live with constant chronic pain and I have. Everything to get out of pain from Eastern Western Medications.

At one point I was on 73 homeopathic pills and 11 prescription medications. I've flown out of the country for radical treatments and what I've learned and why I do the work that I do [00:08:00] today is that, you know, we can't always. Control what life throws our way. Things don't always go as planned. And you know, I've learned that pain and joy can coexist and I might not be able to get out of this pain, but I can get through it.

So, you know, you might be sitting here listening, going, well, I don't relate to you. I've never been hit by an SUV, or I don't have this incurable disease. But I feel like Scott, we've all been hit by something. Whether it's our finances, our relationships, our health, um, our business, we've all been hit by something.

And, and the reason I have written, you know, my first book, true Grit and Grace, is it takes grit to get through hard times. And by the grace of God, my leg was saved, my life was saved. And my second book, joy Through the Journey is because, entrepreneurialship man, it can be tough sometimes. And I had found myself kind of letting that joy slip and I thought, what we have joy within us and there [00:09:00] are ways to spark that joy and thrive in life.

And so I'm passionate about sharing different ways and different tools to get through challenges and hard times and show you that we are resilient, that we can get up. And being unstoppable is not about. Not falling down or not failing. 'cause I've definitely done that a lot. I was just in the hospital three weeks ago again, and it just, I just keep getting back up.

Uh, my husband makes a joke and he's like, you just won't die. And I'm like, that's right.

Scott Maderer: Why don't we have all these insurance policies for

Amberly Lago: Yeah

Scott Maderer: Hopefully you have that on, on. A recording, you know, in case anything ever does mysteriously happen to you, you know that he'll be a suspect right away. With that, with that comment,

you'll be on a True Crime podcast next.

Amberly Lago: Yeah. Yeah. Well he, [00:10:00] we've had to laugh. I love your laugh by the way. And there was one time I was having an ankle surgery and you know, we've, laughter has been part of our medicine. Sure. You know, and my husband is. Put up with me through all of these surgeries and all of this.

And I was having just an ankle surgery. It wasn't even one of my most complicated surgeries. And they go in and the doctor's mark in which leg to, to operate on and stuff. And, um, my husband goes, so, doc, is there any way that she can die from the surgery? And he looked at her like. What? He goes, well, because I just upped her life insurance and I just, you know, I'm just checking.

I wanna make sure. And, and we were laughing and the doctor did not think it was funny.

Scott Maderer: Did not think it was funny at all. Yeah. Yeah. When when I had surgery before I, I. I wrote a note for the doctor, like on all the other body parts that basically said not here, not here, not here. They thought that [00:11:00] was funny 'cause I came in, of course I'm in a robe so they could see my legs and there's like not here written all over my legs and they're like.

Like you, I'm like, well, hey, I've heard it happen. So, you know, I just wanted to be clear.

Amberly Lago: That is hilarious. I need to do that if I have to have another surgery, but if to look at my leg, you would think they wouldn't even have the market because. My right leg is completely it's deformed. My ankle's fused.

I've got a muscle flap that they took the back of half of my calf and put it in the front of my leg. I've got skin grafts from the top of my leg to the bottom of my leg. So to look at me, you're like, oh yeah, well that's the leg we need to work on. But they still had to write.

Scott Maderer: Oh know. Yeah. They still wanna market because there's, yeah.

Mistakes happen, so they don't, yeah. They do everything they can to prevent 'em. So I've got, I, I definitely have some more I want to ask you about your books and, and your message. But before I go there, one of the things I like to highlight on the show is what [00:12:00] I call the intersection between our faith journey and our life journey and our life journey and our faith journey.

And you know how there's a feedback loop And a lot of times when folks go through. An accident, like you're talking about, a, a, a near death experience, you know, it can affect their faith, sometimes positively, sometimes negatively.

All different reactions. So, for you, how, how has your faith journey kind of evolved as you've gone through these different phases of your life from dancer to accident to today?

Amberly Lago: Well, I've always growing up in Texas, the, in the Bible belt, I always went to church every Sunday. We did not Ms. Church if you better be on your deathbed, if you are gonna miss Sunday school, you know, and so, but the thing is, I always felt more connected to God in nature. And even running. I ran track and I'm telling you, I think I talked to God more running track and I don't know if it was because I was like, God, please get me through this or what, but [00:13:00] I would just always talk to God in nature.

So I've always had a close connection with God through surgery, after surgery prayer and faith. It did. That did. I mean, it, it got me through, but I will say that people think maybe that surgery after surgery was the hardest part of my journey when I cl connected more closely to God.

But it actually wasn't, it wasn't the point in which I really. Got more closely connected because after my accident when I was trying to get out of pain, and I mean I was doing all kinds of treatments and I could not get out of pain, I started drinking. And I was never a drinker. And I remember thinking, well this, you know, being in the fitness industry, this isn't the healthiest thing to do, but if this is what I [00:14:00] have to do to kind of numb out the pain and it helped me numb out, like emotionally and physically, and then that's what I'll have to do.

Well, one. Glass led to two glasses of wine led to vodka and I, and it didn't work anymore, and it was this constant cycle of I was promising myself I would not drink, but the pain got so bad that it was just like I wanted to scream uncle and I just wanted to knock one back to try to numb it out, and it was in my lowest point.

My, the darkest part of my journey. And I remember I was in, in the bedroom and I thought, you know, my daughters could find another mom, my husband could find another wife. I was really to the point where I was, I didn't wanna live anymore, but I was too afraid to die. And, um, I remember just getting on my knees and praying and like hearing.

Don't give [00:15:00] up. Don't give up. Keep going, and it gave me the courage to ask for help. And that boy, it took every ounce of courage to reach out and say, I got a problem. And by the grace of God, I got sober in 2016 and started getting my life back and I think a 12 step recovery meeting. The first step, the.

Is, do you believe in a higher power? Mm-hmm. And even though I'd grown up going to church, I think that my faith got, was strengthened through my sobriety journey. I'd kind of cut the connection off. When you're numbing out, you're numbing out everything, you're numbing out the connection to your higher power and everything.

Now that I've been sober, I fully rely on God, and I didn't realize how much I say fully rely on God until people start. And I always say, I talk about a frog, and my daughter even made me this cute little frog, a ceramic frog that's on my desk that reminds me to fully rely on God. And [00:16:00] now Scott, I'm getting people that send me frogs.

I got this cute little frog sitting in a chair and so my desk and and, and. I'll be out and I'll see a frog and I'm like, okay, God, I see there's your sign. But I think that my sobriety journey has helped strengthen my faith even more. And let me tell you, when I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is I pray.

I pray for my friends. I pray for God to keep me sober and lift. The obsession, even though I've been sober for years and the last thing I do when I get in bed sometimes, it's just like, thank you, God, thank you, God, for another day sober. Because when I stay sober, I get to be here with you. I get to do the things that I do, and I get to hopefully help someone else get through that struggle.

And I mean, I had a lot of shame about that at first. Oh yeah. But now. I talk about it because if I can help one person to know that they're not alone, because I think [00:17:00] when you're struggling, um, you feel like you're so alone, but you're never alone. You've always got God on your side.

Scott Maderer: Yeah. Yeah. I've been sober since 99 oh my goodness.

Yeah. So I grew up the, I'm the son of an alcoholic and I didn't actually go through a 12 step program. I, I actually quit cold Turkey in 99, be technically before I was. An alcoholic, but I recognized that I was on the road to becoming one, one morning when I realized that I was thinking about putting whiskey in my coffee before I went to work because I felt like I needed it to get through the day.

Amberly Lago: Yeah.

Scott Maderer: You know, and when I got to got to work, I called my wife and said, get rid of every drop in the house. I never wanna touch alcohol again. 'cause I

Amberly Lago: Wow.

Scott Maderer: I know where this road is. Um,

Amberly Lago: wow.

Scott Maderer: And I, I've been sober since 99, so, that's

Amberly Lago: amazing.

Scott Maderer: But it's just, yeah. So congratulations too on your sobriety.

'cause that is a bit, that, that is a big, people don't realize how, how hard that [00:18:00] really is. And like you said, it's an everyday thing. It's not like you. Yeah, it's not like that goes away. You know, it's kinda like grief. It's always there. It may be less, it may be more, but it's there. You know you get to deal with it.

Yeah. Yeah, I think my husband heard an interview a while, years ago, and he, it kind of, it was on the news. We were listening to the radio and it just happened to come on and he was like. I think it hit him. I mean, he's, he was a California highway. He was in the, he was a lieutenant commander and so he had a lot of shame about

Sure.

Amberly Lago: He, him being married to an alcoholic. What? And um, I don't think he understood it at all. And then he heard this interview and he looked at me and he goes, wow, I had no idea it was that hard. And I was like yeah, it is.

Scott Maderer: Yeah. You know, you talked a lot earlier and it it just even now came out in your story.

You know, we talk [00:19:00] about resilience, then you hear that word a lot. It's almost kind of, it's kinda like coaching and some of the other things. It's become a buzzword or leadership for, and yet I think it can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Uhhuh. So for you, what, what does resilience mean?

You know, when you talk about it, what are you talking about?

Amberly Lago: Oh, well, you know, if you look it up in the dictionary, it means to bounce back. And I learned the hard way. It does most definitely, I don't think means to bounce back. I think it's bouncing forward. I think it's choosing the courage to move forward no matter what, even when things don't go as planned so you can have a life of joy and happiness and thrive.

'cause that's what life is all about. And for me, I think that, uh, resilience starts with. One thing, and you've already said it, that you, you know, you were like, uh, I realized I wanted to put whiskey in my coffee. It's like, it's having that awareness and taking a good, [00:20:00] hard look at your life and being honest with yourself because how can you get up again?

How can you move forward? How can you go after the vision you've created? If you aren't radically honest with yourself and you don't know who you are, where you are, where you are on your journey. And so my transformation of resilience started with getting radically honest with myself and taking a good hard look at, okay and you know what a good way to do that is to ask yourself, how's that working for you?

Is it helping you or is it hurting you? And once you take a look, then you can start to move forward. But I also learned that I was asking all the wrong questions. Mm-hmm. When I was stuck in the hospital bed, I remember, uh, I got out of the hospital and we had a hospital bed in the living room. And being in so much pain, I was completely bedridden.

I had to use a bed pan, which was so humil [00:21:00] humbling, having to use a bed pan every day. And I remember just being in so much pain I would like get, I would throw up, it would make me sick. And I remember going, how am I gonna get through this? What am I gonna do? How am I gonna start training clients again?

And I was asking how and what. And I think when you ask how and what. It puts you in your head.

Scott Maderer: Mm-hmm.

Amberly Lago: And I was spiraling down, but then I heard this little voice. And it was my daughter, and she was two years old at the time, and all she said was Mama. And in that moment I knew why. I knew why I was gonna get through this.

And I think when you ask yourself why it activates your heart, it activates the human spirit. It gets your adrenaline going, it gets your blood pumping, and it allows you to get up again and again. And again, so I always think of, even if I'm struggling as an entrepreneur and want to throw in the [00:22:00] towel, I remember why I started and why I am doing the things that I'm doing.

And that gives me the I remember, okay, this is why I'm doing it. And then I can, I know how I'm gonna get through it because I will figure it out.

When you know your why.

Scott Maderer: Yeah I actually literally just did a talk, uh, last year about focus on the why not the what. So that was the title of the talk.

Um, so I started laughing when you said that, 'cause I'm like, that's exactly what I just got through telling people last year. Wow. Uh, talking to a group of entrepreneurs and leaders from around the world and, and a virtual conference and got to share that talk. And I think that's. People kind of hear that sometimes as a woowoo kind of, you know, mystical, it's really not.

It's psychology, it's neuroscience, it's how our brains work. When we focus on the what we tend to get bogged down in the, oh, I gotta know all the steps. I gotta know all the stuff. I gotta know, you know, I'm [00:23:00] gonna do it wrong. I'm blah, blah, blah, blah. But when you go. But I'm doing it for my, my daughter.

Yeah. I'm doing it so that she has a mama. You know, all of a sudden it's like, I'll figure this out. You know? Yeah. I, I'll get her done because you know, it I, I don't know how yet, but I don't care. I'll figure it out. It'll happen. Um, yeah. It's weird how that can change, so.

Amberly Lago: Yeah. And you know, I thought to myself, well, I knew why I was gonna do it.

I wanted to be an example of resilience to my both my daughters and show them that it is possible to get up and to go again and you can have setbacks. And it's been a journey. I mean, I had to learn to love myself again. I had to learn to accept all the scars. But again, when I thought of why I thought, well, I want my daughters if they have any.

Imperfections, which I think they're basically perfect just, you know, being their mama, but to accept themselves. But that

Scott Maderer: doesn't always mean they think they're perfect.

Amberly Lago: Exactly. [00:24:00] But, uh, you know, when it hit me, Scott is my daughter. My youngest daughter is a horseback rider, and she was pretending, she used to pretend to be a horse and she was running around and hit a bench and her legs split open.

It was. We had to rush her to the er. She's getting stitched up. And so we go to get the stitches out at her doctor, and the doctor looks at her and says, oh, well, well, I reckon with scars like this, your modeling days are over. And she goes, well, I don't care about these scars. I don't wanna be a model. I wanna be a horseback rider when I grow up.

And I was just like. I love that, but if I focused on hiding my scars and being self-conscious and being a victim of my circumstances, instead of choosing to be the victor, maybe she wouldn't have reacted that way. Maybe she would've been self-conscious about the scars. She doesn't care. She's like proud of ev.

[00:25:00] It's like her scars tell a story and she's proud of it. Mm-hmm.

Scott Maderer: Yeah. She's earned them.

Amberly Lago: She earned it. Yeah. And that's kind of how I look at mine is like, man, look at, I used to look down at my leg with disgust. I really did. I hated it. About a year after my accident, I even went to the doctor and said, you know what?

This isn't working out. I appreciate you doing all these surgeries, but we need to go ahead and amputate, and he's the one that really changed my life. Dr. Wis. Put my leg in his lap, and he looked down at it and was looking at it like it was a masterpiece. He said, well, we can't cut it off. It might make the CRPS spread.

It might make it worse, but the way he looked at my leg changed everything. It allowed me to start to look at the scars as, wow, look at how the body heals. Look at how strong the human spirit is, and look at what you can overcome. And that changed everything for me. And sometimes I think we need [00:26:00] someone to believe in us until we can believe in ourselves.

Mm-hmm. Or look at us and see the potential in us until we can see it in ourselves or love us. Before we can love ourselves. And so, um, Dr. Don Wis retired and he just wrote a book and I'm gonna have him on my podcast. He's a hero. He's like, amazing.

Scott Maderer: And I mean, think about it, the, the leg is a miracle.

I mean, 1% chance and those doctors doing their work. It that's not any less of a miracle than it's spontaneously healing. You know those doctor's gifts came from God just as surely as anything else. So,

Amberly Lago: yeah, and I have to, I haven't shared this story much, but so after my accident all of a sudden.

My leg was bending in where it's not supposed to, like you could grab my knee and my ankle and bend the middle of my leg and it hurt. Like [00:27:00] you wouldn't. I couldn't even walk on it anymore. I was trying, but I couldn't even walk on it. So I went in to Dr. Wis and I said, Hey, I think something's wrong.

And he goes, what? And I took my knee and my ankle and I bent my leg and he goes, oh. And he said, we gotta do an x-ray. So he does the x-ray. And he goes. I don't believe this. He goes, you've broken that titanium in your leg, because I had plates all along my leg, and my husband goes, how does somebody break titanium in their leg?

And he goes, well, she's done it. It's kind of like it's the hardest metal that they is.

Scott Maderer: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Amberly Lago: He said, imagine if you've got a big oak tree with a limb and day by day you're wiggling that limb every single day. Eventually the limb is gonna break. He goes, that's what happened. The metal was only as good as fast as the body can heal.

And I had a non-union in my bone for two inches that hadn't healed. It took two years for that to heal. Mm-hmm. I said, I thought maybe they could put a [00:28:00] cast on it, but he did, he couldn't. He said, we gotta do another surgery. It was a 12 hour surgery for him to take out the broken pieces and put the rod in, and I had to have a team of doctors.

I had to have the plastic surgeon to go in through the muscle flap. And Dr. Sherman, who was the plastic surgeon that helped Dr. Wis, he was laughing. He said, you wouldn't believe, I've never seen Dr. Wis like that before. He had beads of sweat dripping down his head, 12 hours. He was working on your leg. He didn't give up on me and didn't give up on it because he knew I wasn't giving up.

Scott Maderer: Mm-hmm.

Amberly Lago: And so, um, after that surgery, I kept calling pathology saying, Hey, I need that medal that's $62,000 worth of medal. I want that medal. All the broken pieces they took outta my leg. Finally, the third call, they said, okay, okay, we're gonna give you the medal. They come up, they give me a bag of all these broken pieces of titanium, and do you know what I did?

I made a wind [00:29:00] chime out of it. It's right outside my office. So now every time I hear that wind chime, it makes me, I remember. How far I've come, and I think that's important. Whenever you're discouraged or whenever you feel like giving up or whenever you're beating yourself up, or you don't feel like you're far enough along on your journey to think about the hardest thing you've ever overcome and remember how far you've come and when you can get through that hard challenge.

You can get through the next one and the next one.

Scott Maderer: Yeah. It, it, it, sometimes we forget. You know you've already survived every day. That was the hardest day. No matter what

Amberly Lago: exactly.

Mm-hmm.

Scott Maderer: No matter who you are, no matter what you've been through or haven't been through, you've already survived whatever your hardest days were.

That's the only way you're still walking around. Yeah. And therefore again, logically, not that our brains work on logic, but logically, well, you can survive the next one too. Yeah. You know, [00:30:00] which, but, but when you're in the dark spot of the soul, it's hard to remember that. You know, maybe we all need a titanium wind chime.

Amberly Lago: Yeah. Hey, maybe I should start making some wind chimes. I have a store with like hoodies and candles and tumblers and stuff and, and he just said, Hey, is there anything else that I'm going to market to figure out new things? I was like, maybe a gratitude journal. Maybe I should tell 'em No, I need to, I need to start selling wind chimes at my store.

Yeah.

Scott Maderer: Sometimes we need things to remind us, you know? Mm-hmm. It it's other people, other messages, you know, hearing, hearing your story on the podcast, whatever it is. Sometimes we need other things to remind us, so maybe you do need to sell some wind chime. Um,

Amberly Lago: no, I'm writing it down.

Scott Maderer: Might not be a bad idea actually, now that I think about it.

Right.

Amberly Lago: Thank you, Scott. Like I, yeah, I need to, yeah. Make sure we got some wind shot there. There is something to be said [00:31:00] for. When you can, that's why I love like music. Mm-hmm. Or even the smell of cookie. Like there's a smell. Like when I go to San Francisco, I lived there for a year. There's a certain smell when you're driving through Oakland and get into San Francisco, it brings back such good memories.

You can hear a song on the radio that will take you back 30 years and so yeah, maybe a wind chime will be that little cue to never give up.

Scott Maderer: So I wanna talk too a a little bit about your newer book, the joy Through the Journey. Talk a little bit about joy. I know you don't talk about it just as an emotion, but more of a a strategy or a process.

So what, what do you mean when you talk about joy? Joy, through the journey.

Amberly Lago: Well, I had that my friend, I don't know if you know who John Gordon is, but he actually wrote the forward to the book, but I asked [00:32:00] him to write the Forward because a couple year, a few years ago, he's like, Amberly, you talk about joy a lot.

I'm really good at book titles. Your next book it needs to be called Joy Through the Journey. So I had that on the sticky note for a long time and I've always been a pretty joyful. Person. I mean, I remember even when I could first walk again, it wasn't pretty, but I had the biggest smile on my face and I was just so filled with joy because I could walk and I did have my leg.

But I think that joy as a strategy is when you love something, when you are so filled with joy doing something, you're gonna keep going. You're gonna, and. Joy is contagious. I think that when people are around others that are just joy Sparkers is what I call them, joy Sparkers. Mm-hmm. It is contagious and it's good energy.

And energy is everything and everything is energy. And you want, I don't know about you, but I wanna be around those [00:33:00] people who are sparking joy. But joy is a strategy. 'cause there's been times when it's been hard or I've been stressed, or I've been filled with anxiety and or grief. And I remember even when, you know, we lost our, this time last year, we lost my dog, who was like my therapy dog.

Mm-hmm. This dog went with me through, EV, was with me through every surgery, and I remember thinking. Not that I didn't wanna feel the feelings or didn't want to recognize that I was filled with sadness, but I was like, I just need a little reprieve. I need to have some joy. What is gonna spark some joy?

And I thought, well, putting up the Christmas tree wheel. So I put up the Christmas tree earlier than we ever had before. Still felt I couldn't stop crying. Still was like, I need some joy. Sometimes I think that you need to change your environment, move your body, because movement moves your mood. Mm-hmm.

And so I got outside and I [00:34:00] realized this one thing, and this has to do with joy and also resilience that I used to try to just grit it out and push through and keep going. And what I've learned is that. You know, that grit that I, I'm not good at many things, but I was good at the grit and I was good at like sparking some joy.

But grit and joy without connection is just resistance, but grit and joy with connection, that's where we truly find resilience. And so I needed to get out and just connect and see somebody smile. And so if you're going through a hard time, go see how you can help somebody else. Make a phone call, see how you can serve.

Go For me, I went to HomeGoods. I love HomeGoods. And I was like, I need to spark some joy. I need to find joy. And do you know the first thing I saw when I walked in that store was a sign that said Joy. I was like, okay, there's [00:35:00] my sign, and I just needed to see people and say hello and smile at them and see them smile back and ask how they were doing, genuinely know how they were doing because that connection is what allows you to spark joy, to be resilient and to keep going mm-hmm.

Throughout the ups and downs of life.

Scott Maderer: Yeah. And, and I do think you're, I, I think there is a, a connection between. Resilience, joy, grit e each of those things is important, but each of them can only get you so far by themselves. You know, it's all of those things connected together.

Amberly Lago: Yeah.

Scott Maderer: You've, you've mentioned community, you've mentioned connection. You, me, you know, and I think that's important because I think a lot of times we try to make it just one thing and it isn't just one thing. Mm-hmm. It is a whole collections of things that let us get through it.

Amberly Lago: Yeah. And it's, it's, you know, the resilience is what is gonna allow [00:36:00] you to get up again.

But it's the joy that's gonna fuel you for your journey.

Scott Maderer: Yeah. It's like the, the, the, what is the destination? The why is the fuel. The grid is the get. Get through itness, but the joy is the fuel the thing that drives it. Yeah

Amberly Lago: Yeah.

Scott Maderer: And, and leads to resilience. Yeah. That makes perfect sense.

You know, one of the things too that I heard in your story and you talked earlier about, you know like to laugh about it and I want to be clear. It's not that you're making light of it. It's not that you're ignoring it, it's not that you're being Pollyanna about it. It's it's, but it is leaning into and finding the.

The moments of laughter, the moments of connection, the moments that, that lead you to something else that helps get through it too. Is that right?

Amberly Lago: Oh yeah. I mean, I remember, so when I was on my crutch, finally able to be on crutches and upright again [00:37:00] I fell down the stairs on my crutches and I ended up,

Scott Maderer: I wonder why that titanium.

May have begun to get under some stress, huh? Yeah, probably. Probably not connected at all.

Amberly Lago: Yeah. And I mean, I, I, when I was falling, oh, I put my hand out and of course broke my wrist.

Scott Maderer: Your wrist? Wrist. Yep.

Amberly Lago: And my oldest daughter was like. Mom, oh my gosh. Holy. And she said a cuss word and she never cusses. And I'm holding my wrist up and my whole arm is flopped over and she goes, I said, it's okay.

I just need to go get this fixed. You know, I'm trying to keep calm. And she's like, mom, it's not okay. It's broken. And I'm like, well, you know what? Why can you call your dad for me? We need to go to the hospital. And my husband comes in the door, he's uh, he was on duty at the time. He comes in, he is in uniform.

I [00:38:00] have my arm hidden behind my back and he is like, let me see it. And I'm like, no, no, you don't need to see it. Just take me to the er. And anyway, they, I was hoping they could just put a cast on it. No, they had to put, they had to do surgery and so. Taking me to surgery. It's a bit of a pattern

Scott Maderer: there too.

They could just put a cast, no,

Amberly Lago: we gotta do surgery. Nope. Gotta do surgery. So there I was, I could barely walk on my leg. And I remember, um, my husband dropped me off at Cedars and I'm walking through to go check in and I got my arm in a temporary cast all the way up to my shoulder and I'm hobbling, like barely walking.

And this guy walks. He goes, oh man, what happened to you? And I was like, ah, motorcycle accident. And he goes, yeah, I rode a motorcycle and broke my pinky. And that was it for me and my, I told my husband, we walked in, we were just laughing and I was like, oh my gosh, you a broken [00:39:00] pinky. That was it for you like.

I wish that was the the, you know, worst of mine, you know, but, so we've learned to laugh. And even my daughter, you know, when I've been hobbling along without trying, I'm not trying to limp. I'm trying to walk without a limp. She'll go, who am I? And she'll start walking funky like I walk and we just start laughing because.

Man, when you're going through some, sometimes that's all you can do is laugh, is like mm-hmm This, if I told people some of the things that happened this past year, they, it, they would never believe it. And so because it's just like, wow, what more can you, uh, a person can go through, but. Laughter has just been our medicine because, you know, life is short and my husband reminds me all the time not to take myself too seriously because I can.

And then he will make me laugh and it's like, yeah [00:40:00] let's laugh. Let's have some fun. Let's get through this because what's the alternative? You know, sitting in misery.

Scott Maderer: It doesn't change the situation either way. Yeah. You know you're, you're in the same situation. It's, it's recognizing that you have that power of choice too that I think is so important that it, it, it, again, it's not that it excuses it, it's not that it, it, it makes it go away.

It's not that it if, if this was something that someone else did, like you're in an abusive situation, it doesn't make it right, but. You can learn where do you have the power of choice? Where do you have the power to to move forward?

Amberly Lago: Yeah. And I think once you realize you have that power of choice, it really empowers you.

You're like, oh, I can make a decision. And I always ask myself. I don't say, why me? I say, what's next?

What can I do? And I focus [00:41:00] on what I can do instead of what I can't do.

Scott Maderer: So I've got a few questions that I like to ask all of my guests, but before I ask you those, is there anything about either of your books or the message or the work you do that you'd like to share with the listener?

Amberly Lago: Yeah, I just want. You to know that you have the power to change your life. It doesn't, you know, we can't control things that circumstances, but we can, you know, we can't control the cards we've been dealt, but we can choose to play the heck out of those cards. And so surround yourself with people who believe in you, who are encouragers.

Who see the potential in you? If you don't see the potential in yourself right now? I think community is powerful and just to know that you're not alone. Like for me, remembering to fully rely on God instead of trying to figure it all out all by myself and knowing that there's a [00:42:00] power greater than me that I don't have to have it all figured out that God is the director and so.

I just don't want pe. That's what really changed my life, is knowing that I wasn't alone. It took the most courage to ask for help, but if you're struggling, ask for help. Reach out. It could be to a stranger on Instagram and sending them a dm. Shoot, reach out to me. Shoot me a dm. I answer all my dms at Amberly Lago.

Motivation, but, but really don't do it alone. There is power with connection and community. So my brand has inspired stewardship and I kind of run things through that lens of, of stewardship, and yet I've discovered kinda like resilience. That's one of those words that can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people.

Scott Maderer: So for you, when you hear the word stewardship, what does that word mean to you?

Amberly Lago: Um, I, I really think that is, um, leadership and I [00:43:00] think of it as connection and teamwork. And setting a good example and walking the walk into the, and practicing what you preach. To me, I wanna learn from somebody who's actually done the things that I want to achieve, but also doing the things that I wanna do.

They're not just all talk, they're actually in the trenches with me.

Scott Maderer: So this is my favorite question that I like to ask everybody. Uh, imagine for a moment that I invented this magic machine, and with this machine, I was able to take you from where you are today and transport you into the future, maybe 150, maybe 250 years.

And through the power of this machine, you were able to look back and see your entire life, see all of the connections, all of the ripples, all of the impacts you've left. What impact do you hope you've had in the world?

Amberly Lago: I hope that the impact I've had is [00:44:00] showing that people that they can be unstoppable, they can be empowered, they can be resilient, and they can spark joy through the journey, through not just my books, um, but through my work, through, through my events where I support.

Like this year we're supporting Call to Freedom, which is to help support women who have been survi survivors of human trafficking. So I hope that maybe one thing I said on from stage, empower somebody to never give up. And so, and also that I've left a legacy with my daughters to teach their children to never give up.

Scott Maderer: So, what's on the roadmap? What's coming next as you continue on your journey?

Amberly Lago: Um, well, I'm excited. Lots of, uh, times of travel speaking across the country, which is my favorite thing to do. Never thought I'd be speaking from stage. And what I love about it [00:45:00] most is that I get to meet some amazing people, these connections that I've made from all over the world.

And so, just doing a lot of speaking, uh, my publisher is asking me do I have another book? And I'm like, I don't know. It's a lot writing a book, so I'm not sure, but they are asking me, you know, do you, are you ready to write your next book? I think my husband might kill me if I write another book. Uh, because it's not just the book writing.

That's the easy part. I think it's the book marketing and the launch. That is, that's a lot.

Scott Maderer: So you can find out more about Amberly and her book, uh, both of them joy Through the Journey and Truegrid and Grace over@amberleelago.com. Of course, I'll have a link to that in the show notes as well. Amberly, is there anything else you'd like to share with the listener?

Amberly Lago: I would just wanna say again, if you could take anything from our time together [00:46:00] today, just let it be this, that you're never alone, that change is possible and hope is available. So reach out today, you can reach out to me. And thank you again, Scott, for having me on.

Scott Maderer: Absolutely.

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