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{\b\fs48 Episode 1553: Interview with Yosi Kossowsky About Developing a Culture of Trust\b0}

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf1 Scott Maderer:\b0}

{ }

{\cf2 [00:00:00]}

{ Thanks for joining us on episode 1,553 of the Inspired Stewardship Podcast. }

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf3 Yosi Kossowsky:\b0}

{ I'm Yosi Kossowsky. I challenge you to invest in yourself, invest in others, develop your influence and impact the world by using your time, your talent, and your treasures to live out your calling. Having the ability to recognize that you always have the power of choice is key.}

{\pard \line \par}

{And one way to be inspired, honestly, is to do that by listening to this amazing podcast to the Inspired Stewardship podcast with my friend Scott Maderer.}

{\pard \line \par}

{I think you could talk about what it is, but this process of being able to look inside, it does not seem to be something that's transmitted by a book. And, and I and I, you know, when people tell me, oh, Avon is gonna take over all the coaching }

{\cf2 [00:01:00]}

{ jobs, I'm like, yeah, not yet. Not until it can get someone to do that.}

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf1 Scott Maderer:\b0}

{ Welcome and thank you for joining us on the Inspired Stewardship Podcast. If you truly desire to become the person who God wants you to be, then you must learn to use your time, your talent, and your treasures for your true calling. In the inspired Stewardship podcast, you will learn to invest in yourself.}

{\pard \line \par}

{Invest in others and develop your influence so that you can impact the world.}

{\pard \line \par}

{In today's podcast episode, I interview Yosi Yosiwalski. I ask Yosi about the connection between real leadership and self-awareness. I also ask Yosi about how leaders have to understand themselves to really understand their teams. And Yoi also talks about the process we use to achieve a mindset shift. I have a great book that's been out for a while now called }

{\cf2 [00:02:00]}

{ Inspired Living Assemble the Puzzle of Your Calling by Mastering Your Time, your Talent, and your Treasures.}

{\pard \line \par}

{You can find out more about that book over@inspiredlivingbook.com. It'll take you to a page where there's information and you can sign up to get some mailings about it as well as purchase a copy there. I'd love to see you. Get a copy and share with me how it impacted your world. Today's guest is Yosi Kossowsky, a seasoned executive coach with over 18 years of experience and a background as a chief technology officer and senior director of talent management.}

{\pard \line \par}

{Yosi specializes in leadership development, personal growth, and effective communication, leveraging neuroscience and organizational development. Principles. He's helped leaders across the globe navigate complex challenges, build high performing teams, and drive meaningful change. Get ready to learn actionable strategies to enhance your leadership skills and foster a culture of trust and }

{\cf2 [00:03:00]}

{ collaboration.}

{\pard \line \par}

{Welcome to the show. Thanks so much for being here. }

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf3 Yosi Kossowsky:\b0}

{ Thank you so much, Scott. I'm really excited. }

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf1 Scott Maderer:\b0}

{ So I mentioned a lot of things in the intro about some of the work you've done, some of your background a lot of the studies, you're man, after my own heart, I've also got science degrees and kinda look at things from a science point of view.}

{\pard \line \par}

{And yet at the same time, I always know that intros and bios and those sort of things, it's kinda like the Instagram photos of our life. It just shows the highlight reel. It never really shows the whole reality. So take us back a little bit and unpack. For everybody. What's a little bit more about your journey and why is this your focus and what you're working on now and the message that you're putting out in the world?}

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf3 Yosi Kossowsky:\b0}

{ Yeah, absolutely. So I started off my career in IT and then moved into engineering and I had an opportunity to, take more of a management role. I wasn't calling it leadership, but anything, and }

{\cf2 [00:04:00]}

{ what I discovered via feedback was. I wasn't doing a good job. And it was a real challenge for me because I thought I had, read the manual, how you do this and Okay.}

{\pard \line \par}

{The feedback indicated that knowing wasn't enough. And. Looking even deeper, I realized, okay, so as an engineer, this actually made sense. You can read the manual on how to build something, but until you get your hands dirty and you know in the weeds, that's a whole different experience. And so I just didn't have a frame of reference of where to go to do a root cause on humans.}

{\pard \line \par}

{And the, luckily I, when you go searching, life kind of provides hopefully, and it did for me. And that led me to study emotional wellness therapy and neuroscience therapy. And I was looking at that as the software and the hardware of what I was trying to solve for. }

{\cf2 [00:05:00]}

{ And it, it was just transformational as I learned about emotions and feeling and how.}

{\pard \line \par}

{I have this perception and my perception is different than everybody else's perception and that means that just because I say something doesn't mean everybody else understands it. And just 'cause I intend something or I'm thinking something people can't read my mind and it just starts to un unravel from there.}

{\pard \line \par}

{That I live in a world where I, if I don't question it, think we're all on the same page. Then I find out we're not, and then the question is, do I have the tools, the resources, the understanding to to process that in a healthy way? To allow me to remain effective as myself, as a spouse, as a father, as a worker, as a leader.}

{\pard \line \par}

{And so my journey was hitting a wall }

{\cf2 [00:06:00]}

{ and. Saying, okay, I gotta figure this out. And then letting go because everything that I started learning went against my Vulcan nature of, it's gotta make sense because I found out that emotions don't really make sense necessarily. And that was a pretty wild ride.}

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf1 Scott Maderer:\b0}

{ Yeah. So I work with a, I'm a coach myself and I work with a lot of, I actually do a lot of training of coaches and I actually was teaching class not too long ago, and the people we're all, they're financial coaches and so most people that are financially minded and, that's how they think about money and they're all about the numbers.}

{\pard \line \par}

{Just show me the numbers and it'll make sense. And I was telling 'em at one point, I'm like, you realize it's not about the numbers. It's like it's. If it was information, they'd already have changed. They wouldn't have, if it's missing information, Google would've given them the answer.}

{\pard \line \par}

{It's not information, it's how they feel, so yeah, you had that same experience, but in a different }

{\cf2 [00:07:00]}

{ setting. }

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf3 Yosi Kossowsky:\b0}

{ A hundred percent. And I'll tell you with reflection, what's always remained as a question is how is it that. In our society, we get trained on how to think. We get trained on logic, we get trained on math.}

{\pard \line \par}

{We don't get trained on how to process emotion. Like why? Where is that? And it doesn't seem to be one of those inbred things either. Like it's not like it's instinctive. And I do find that like bizarre on the other hand, where I'm sitting now as a coach. It gives me this opportunity to work with people and to support people that if everyone did know it, then I, of course I would've to find something else to do.}

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf1 Scott Maderer:\b0}

{ Yeah. But I don't think you're in danger of getting out of work anytime soon. If the world is any evidence of people learning to process emotion in a healthy way I don't think, I don't think you're gonna run outta work. When you think about processing emotion too, so }

{\cf2 [00:08:00]}

{ it's.}

{\pard \line \par}

{We will, we'll get more into it later, but just from the point of view of I'm trying to formulate the question as I'm talking in my own head. It's, there, there's us understanding our own emotions and then there's us kind of understanding other people's emotions, right? Yeah. How do you see that kind of.}

{\pard \line \par}

{Division or how do those two things work together when in the work that you do? }

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf3 Yosi Kossowsky:\b0}

{ So I think the answer that I have is I had a coaching session earlier with a leader and technical leader. And I tend to do very well with technical leaders, I guess because I came from that background and this leader is saying to me, how do I deal with an employee who, our personalities are just a conflict? And I say, okay, let me help me understand what do you mean by conflict? How's that play out? And so the leader says they are not, }

{\cf2 [00:09:00]}

{ they're not maintaining. The values and the mindset of the team and really the company.}

{\pard \line \par}

{And I said so what? Why is that a problem? And the leader says because then there's things are not gonna be, we're not gonna be going in the same direction. And I'm like, so what? What's the problem? And. The leader kinda what do you mean what's the problem? That's a problem.}

{\pard \line \par}

{And I'm like, no, but what's, why is it really bothering you? And it took some different angles of asking that question, but ultimately it's, I want other people to do what I feel is important and right. So I said to this person, are you illegal? Are you a, do you believe that it's important to follow, the laws of the land or and they said, yes, absolutely. I said, you speed. And they go, yes. I'm like, what's with that? How can you possibly speed if you think }

{\cf2 [00:10:00]}

{ that the laws are important? And they smile? I'm like, so are you just choosing which rules are the ones that are important to keep? And. They said, oh, I see what you're doing there.}

{\pard \line \par}

{And I said, what am I doing there? And they said, we're not we're not consistent. We're just choosing where we wanna play the game. And this leader said to me she said, oh, this is my ego, isn't it? So a long-winded way of saying that, dealing with other people's emotions. To me first requires us to understand ours a little bit better.}

{\pard \line \par}

{And why am I feeling what I'm feeling about this other person? Because if I can't reconcile that, I don't know how you reconcile the other side. }

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf1 Scott Maderer:\b0}

{ Yeah. It always starts with understanding ourselves if we really wanna understand other people, period. I don't care }

{\cf2 [00:11:00]}

{ what it is. It's, yeah.}

{\pard \line \par}

{That and of course I think too, it's, that's actually harder in some ways. It's hard enough to understand other people. It's even harder to understand yourself 'cause that's vulnerable that suddenly means admitting things that you don't want to admit about yourself.}

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf3 Yosi Kossowsky:\b0}

{ Yeah. And I, by the way, I don't know how somebody does that on their own. I, the emotional wellness therapy work, that's what we focused on, was not helping other people get better. It was helping ourselves. And it was all about, in the end of the day, ripping the layers off, not adding new things on.}

{\pard \line \par}

{It wasn't about additive work, it was really about the deconstruction work. I don't, I think I feel gifted or are blessed really as a coach to be able to say, I can bring that awareness into the coaching engagement so that when people are talking about conflict, }

{\cf2 [00:12:00]}

{ I know how to lead them into that self-awareness without going into a therapy session.}

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf1 Scott Maderer:\b0}

{ And that's, like you said, I think it does take it takes working in a way that isn't just. Sitting in your own stew, so to speak. It, it requires a therapy coaching. Even a, in some cases, even a good friend or a good spouse can ask those questions that make you get out of your own way and you go, or boss or a coworker or somebody else that you know, and trust.}

{\pard \line \par}

{But it is it's very hard to do it all by yourself sitting in your own stew, if not impossible,}

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf3 Yosi Kossowsky:\b0}

{ yeah. I'm with you a hundred percent. }

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf1 Scott Maderer:\b0}

{ I'm a firm believer in not saying anything's ever completely impossible. I'm sure there's someone out there that's managed to do it, but I don't think it's gonna be very many people.}

{\pard \line \par}

{So we're one of the things I like to highlight on the show is the intersection between our own journey or our kind of inward journey around faith and spirituality and belief and whatever that looks like for us, and then how that }

{\cf2 [00:13:00]}

{ intersects the work we do in the world and the life journey that we've been on.}

{\pard \line \par}

{How has that played out in this journey that you've been on?}

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf3 Yosi Kossowsky:\b0}

{ You, you prepared me for this question, and I love this question honestly. It and what's just a preempt I sometimes find that it's uncomfortable for me to share this, and I don't know yet why, still un digging, un digging that with you. But as we got, talked before and I got that sense of where you're.}

{\pard \line \par}

{At spiritually, I feel very comfortable to, to talk with you about it. I was raised in a family of religious people who}

{\pard \line \par}

{believe in God and in scripture, and so I didn't question that. However, as I got older I found }

{\cf2 [00:14:00]}

{ myself not. Without comprehend, like without conscious realization, dealing with a lot of guilt. And when I went through that again that, that whole training and started to understand the role of.}

{\pard \line \par}

{The belief systems we take on the, how that translates or the belief systems we take on, the value systems we take on and all of these constructs that we build around ourselves without recognizing what does that do to our behaviors? What does that do to the thoughts we have and. I realized as I went through this and it was a crushing experience initially, that my belief system was screwed up and it was self-destructive }

{\cf2 [00:15:00]}

{ and instead of bringing me up and lifting me up, it was crushing me and it wasn't the religion.}

{\pard \line \par}

{It wasn't. The scripture, it was the, what I had taken on in my understanding. And so learning how to see that and then start to pull it apart and gain not only a sense of freedom and lightness, but also a much deeper connection. To life, to the universe, to people in general. What has been crazy from forever since then, like I look back at the, like we say, pre COVID, post COVID so this was, pre the awareness and post the awareness.}

{\pard \line \par}

{So in recognizing that, again, when we come to these situations where leaders are like, I wanna have better executive presidents, I wanna I wanna be able to deal with conflict better. I wanna be able to not be afraid, or I wanna have more self-confidence in. }

{\cf2 [00:16:00]}

{ What are the beliefs you are holding onto that have shaped yourself so much that this is your response to these events, to these actions?}

{\pard \line \par}

{And so that's, for me, the intersection is in recognizing what belief did to me and it wasn't. Maybe we say that word is like it's a generic Oh, but it's, for me, it's not a generic thing. It's, we have beliefs that are supportive and we have beliefs that are not supportive. Learning which ones are supportive and saying, okay, I wanna reaffirm those, but these ones, no, they're not so good for me.}

{\pard \line \par}

{How do I go through this emotional, mental neurolinguistic process of I. Letting them go and bringing on ones that are healthy and supportive. }

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf1 Scott Maderer:\b0}

{ And I think that's the important message and kind of the tie to, at least to me, to the tie between what we were just talking about and, the journey you went on is it wasn't so much even quote the beliefs, it was the }

{\cf2 [00:17:00]}

{ fact that you hadn't examined them and unpacked them and looked at them and you had just accepted them.}

{\pard \line \par}

{And I think that's the same, that's the same behavior that we're talking about. The worker that you are, the boss that you're working with or the manager that you're working with. But they don't believe what I want them to believe. This is bad. It's but why, yeah. What's the actual cause, what's actually happening here? It's very much the same sort of behavior in a different realm. It's not the belief, it's the fact that it hadn't been examined and unpacked and thought about and process that was creating the burden.}

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf3 Yosi Kossowsky:\b0}

{ Yeah, I, what I really wonder, honestly, as you're talking right now and reflecting on that, is what are your listeners thinking? Because when I do bring this up initially with people, they're like. Deer in the headlights. What? What do you, what do you mean questioning my beliefs? What do you mean?}

{\pard \line \par}

{Like you }

{\cf2 [00:18:00]}

{ used a better word, not questioning what did you say? }

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf1 Scott Maderer:\b0}

{ Evaluating or evaluating? Examining.}

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf3 Yosi Kossowsky:\b0}

{ Examining. You used said the word examining and that's the word I love examining. Like people are like, what? What are you talking about? So even that idea often gets me like a stare to get.}

{\pard \line \par}

{Ready to do to even contemplate doing that. }

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf1 Scott Maderer:\b0}

{ Because think about it, it's not a belief that's just a fact. That's just the way the world is. Because. That's the way the world is. It's so deeply rooted that's just truth. That's not that's not anything to look at and evaluate.}

{\pard \line \par}

{It's just is, why would we look at the, why would we look at the sky and. Say it's green instead of blue. It, look, it's blue. I just know that it's blue. And yet, by the way, actually, technically, no, it's not. It's not, and if we get into the science and the whys of the wear force, we can explain that, but it's blue,}

{\pard \line \par}

{yeah. }

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf3 Yosi Kossowsky:\b0}

{ Yeah. }

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf1 Scott Maderer:\b0}

{ It but it is, I think again, we work a lot behavior, }

{\cf2 [00:19:00]}

{ habits, mindset, beliefs, all of these things. They become the water that, we're swimming in as fish and we don't even know that we're swimming in water because it's just, it's so obviously surrounds us that we become blind to it.}

{\pard \line \par}

{What are some of the ways that you've seen leaders, how has this kind of not doing this work and not looking at it as a leader, how does that actually affect. Their teams, their companies, their business, whatever environment that they're operating in that then has caused them to seek help.}

{\pard \line \par}

{What are they seeing and what's happening that then causes 'em to say, Hey, something needs to be different here.}

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf3 Yosi Kossowsky:\b0}

{ So in my mind, I think of it as humid bumper cars. That's, and it'll show image. Yeah, it'll show up in some way like that. But it's, we are bumping into something and we don't necessarily know how to name it }

{\cf2 [00:20:00]}

{ most of the time. When it's presented, it is. They are not doing, they are not following.}

{\pard \line \par}

{They I've been told that. So rather than it being, oh, I have come to an awareness that I am out of sync and I want to get into sync. So far hasn't happened to me. That's not ever been someone's introduction to, Hey, I, you know why I want coaching. It's always been. I need to get my team aligned.}

{\pard \line \par}

{I need to get things going. We, we've got a big deal that we've gotta do. We've gotta produce, certain things and I don't see how given the team's, so it's always they're almost, in a sense, again, I don't bring this up right away. And it, the way I experienced it is they are almost feeling they don't have agency.}

{\pard \line \par}

{And so it is bumper cars, but it's bumper cars where they're not even realizing they're driving. }

{\pard \line \par}

{And there there's your technical people }

{\cf2 [00:21:00]}

{ where there's a lot of, in their mind and maybe even in their language, people should be doing things like it's, this is obvious, this is the right thing to do.}

{\pard \line \par}

{Therefore it's a given. This is the process. Why wouldn't }

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf1 Scott Maderer:\b0}

{ you }

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf3 Yosi Kossowsky:\b0}

{ do it this way? Yeah. Why wouldn't you do it that way? And then there's other people, whether it's marketing people or HR people. And then it's a different language. Not that the sure word doesn't, does show up, but the mindset behind it is often about, don't we want to get along? Don't we wanna be successful? I it can even touch on the more emotional side, but the challenge still remains the same. That if we haven't learned to first look inward and as you say, examine, we will never be able to really. Address the external experiences of others if we haven't been able to address ourselves.}

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf1 Scott Maderer:\b0}

{ Why do you think it is so hard to address ourselves? We've talked about the fact that we }

{\cf2 [00:22:00]}

{ need help, but why do you think it's so hard }

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf3 Yosi Kossowsky:\b0}

{ there that for me, that's the billion dollar question, right? That's the billion dollar question. That really is the billion dollar, and I don't like I, so I believe in God and I believe in heaven, and I.}

{\pard \line \par}

{This is one of my big questions when I get there is what the heck, where was the manual in all of this? That's okay. We wouldn't read it. No that's undoubted, undoubtedly true. And it's really interesting as I have read books that do talk about, as you say, like bringing this awareness to people. The biggest challenge I find with every book I've ever read, and I don't think it's a failure of any author, is I don't, I think it's very hard to translate a how-to method in a book. I think you could talk about what it is, but this process of being able to, I. Look inside does not seem to be something that's transmitted by a book.}

{\pard \line \par}

{\cf2 [00:23:00]}

{ And I, when people tell me, oh, AV AI is gonna take over all the coaching jobs, I'm like, yeah, not yet. Not until I can get someone to do that. Build the trust, build the space where they are willing to take that step with you into their deeper selves. And I don't really know why it's so hard.}

{\pard \line \par}

{I think the one operating theory I have is. My current understanding is our prefrontal cortex, which is our executive thinking center, only matures they say around between 24 to 27, et cetera. So in my mind, and I've never asked a neuroscience scientist about this exactly, but in my mind, the way that I translate that to is if you moved into a house today and I asked you what did the house look like last week?}

{\pard \line \par}

{What would be your answer? Pretty much the way it looks right now. You're making that assumption, right? Because you did see it last week, but I would assume so. Yeah, }

{\cf2 [00:24:00]}

{ you assume so, right? So like in my mind our pre all frontal cortex, I know it doesn't just pop into awareness. I know that it's a gradual process, but in a certain sense, when we are 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 9, whatever years old, and we are just absorbing all of this information, we don't have.}

{\pard \line \par}

{The cognitive executive function, ability to question it, to query it to ask ourselves, does this make sense? Is this gonna be good for we just take it on because we don't yet have that capacity. So then we get into our twenties and our prefrontal cortex is getting better and more, active and we're starting to.}

{\pard \line \par}

{Utilize it to, to query and to question, but how does it know to question everything that it's already has, right? It's like moving into that house. So that's my one working theory about why it's so hard. But I'm sure that some, smarter people than me, which there are many have better answers than that.}

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf1 Scott Maderer:\b0}

{ That, }

{\cf2 [00:25:00]}

{ no, actually I think that makes a lot of sense. It's my, my background or one of my degrees is in genetics and, my background is on the that side and it's, I get. Frustrated sometimes with the conversations, because people very much wanna say, is it genetics or is it your environment?}

{\pard \line \par}

{As if that's the question. And it's geneticists stopped asking that question a long time ago. The answer to that question is yes. It's both, what we are trying to tease out is how much of which, that's the complex interplay between the two.}

{\pard \line \par}

{That's the work. It's not a, it's not a yes or no question. It's a yes. Everything, all of it. We're affected by all of it, all the time. From beginning till end. You, your brain, we used to think your brain got done and then it was done baking and it just kinda stayed the same.}

{\pard \line \par}

{And it's no, that does not happen that way. We know it's a lot more plastic than we ever believed and, constantly reforming itself. So I think you're, I think you're probably onto something in terms of if you can't think about what's happening, then how do you think about what's happening?}

{\pard \line \par}

{\cf2 [00:26:00]}

{ Then later, once you can think about it, why would it's the, eh, it's there. And from a, from a at least for an analogy, that works really well, even if it's not exactly a hundred percent right on the chemistry and the physics and the neurobiology of it.}

{\pard \line \par}

{So let's talk some more to that leader that's out there that's hearing some of this and maybe. Maybe they're having a moment of thinking about those human bumper cars that you're, talking about and they're going maybe there is something here. 'cause I've tried everything else.}

{\pard \line \par}

{What does the process look like? What are the, what would it look like for them to begin taking this journey of looking at themselves and unpacking and moving forward in a more productive way? }

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf3 Yosi Kossowsky:\b0}

{ So I like to call it digging into curiosity. }

{\pard \line \par}

{And what I mean by that word, 'cause it's a broad, it's one of those words that can be used in many ways is start to }

{\cf2 [00:27:00]}

{ ask myself, is it true?}

{\pard \line \par}

{Just because I think it isn't true. How do I know it to be true? And that the, these questions were very much informed for me by the work of this woman called Byron Katie, who has something called the work. And she has these four questions that we that she asks us to ask ourselves. And essentially those four questions, I think they're great.}

{\pard \line \par}

{Four questions is, do I, is it true? How do I know it to be true? Is it a hundred percent true all the time? And just start to, if we can go and say, okay, you're wrong. How do I know that to be true? What if I'm wrong that you're wrong? What might change? And so to me, that's the starting process. It's just being willing and I think it does take courage to be willing to try that.}

{\pard \line \par}

{And I always. Everybody I work with, I say, think of }

{\cf2 [00:28:00]}

{ everything as an experiment. It's not about getting it right, it's not about wrong. It's about trying something and seeing what you get, seeing what you learn. What would happen if all of these people that are wrong, that are stupid, that are idiots, that should be following that should be doing this?}

{\pard \line \par}

{What if I'm wrong? What changes for me?}

{\pard \line \par}

{That's my invitation to everybody is. Be willing to experiment with that and see what you get. }

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf1 Scott Maderer:\b0}

{ How have you seen this affect the leader's wellbeing? Leader burnout is something that we see a lot. Just employee in general but especially in leadership and management roles.}

{\pard \line \par}

{How has this work? Have you seen it affect leaders' abilities to. Keep, do, keep doing the hard work without burning out either professionally or personally? }

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf3 Yosi Kossowsky:\b0}

{ So it's it's so funny. I'm coaching a }

{\cf2 [00:29:00]}

{ whole group of leaders from a really big entertainment company right now. And they love their jobs.}

{\pard \line \par}

{They love where they're working. They really do. And they work their butts off because they love it. And one guy said to me, I don't exercise anymore and I know that I need to another one. Like I, I'm not able to balance being home for my kids and get, and really get all the work done.}

{\pard \line \par}

{And so my, my, again, my reflection with them is often they think they need to build a muscle to learn how to say no. To, make this decision. And I say, what if you looked at it as a different paradigm? What if it isn't a matter of, I gotta learn to say no? What does it matter? If you looked at your life as, am I aligned with myself? Am I aligned with my }

{\cf2 [00:30:00]}

{ values? Am I aligned with what I want? That's the first question because I find that burnout comes not from overwork or whatever, it comes from this space of, if we look at it, I look at it this way, am I aligned with what I want? }

{\pard \line \par}

{And often people will say, no, I'm not.}

{\pard \line \par}

{I'm like, okay. So the question isn't what you say yes or no to. The question is, what do you need to do to feel more aligned? Yourself, if there wasn't some global right and wrong way to do it, if there wasn't just you, for you, what would alignment look like? What would it feel like? How would that play out?}

{\pard \line \par}

{And that becomes the conversation rather than what I need to stop doing, start doing differently, is more of that emotional attunement to my alignment. }

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf1 Scott Maderer:\b0}

{ Again, when I'm thinking now about the }

{\cf2 [00:31:00]}

{ coaching I do with money and time and these sorts of things, it's the same question. It's not, there's a right way to spend your money and there's a wrong way to spend the money.}

{\pard \line \par}

{It's, but are you spending your money in a way that actually is getting you the things that you actually say are the values and the things that you want? And, if the answer is no. Did we need to do something different? And yet we'll do that. We'll spend the money in the way that we think we should as opposed to the way that we actually should because of Right.}

{\pard \line \par}

{Of, yeah. That's and again, we're back to, it's not the thing, it's the examining of the thing that is the right, that's the value. It's the so what, i've got a few questions that I like to ask all of my guests, but before I ask you those, what else about your work do you think is really important for the listener to hear?}

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf3 Yosi Kossowsky:\b0}

{ Something I keep on getting reflected back to me by people I'm supporting who have often had other coaches before me, }

{\cf2 [00:32:00]}

{ is that my approach is really practical and I, I. I think that's because of my engineering background, right? If you can't put it into practice right away, then what's the good, all the information in the world.}

{\pard \line \par}

{So every coaching session is spent mostly on practical things. What is going on today? What are your current challenges or priorities? How are you feeling about them? Let's talk about some techniques to deal with this right now. And yes, there's these bigger. Goals I wanna have, you know this, I wanna get a promotion, I wanna be able to be more balanced.}

{\pard \line \par}

{I want, yes. And that will all come about because the, everything I'm doing is informed as we essentially at the beginning by the neuroscience and the emotional wellness. So I look at the system that, that we operate under as human beings and as I help. People }

{\cf2 [00:33:00]}

{ practically understand that and what to do with that.}

{\pard \line \par}

{It becomes a very applicable way for them to put things into practice and make those shifts. And so what I'd like people to know is if you're looking for something, a coaching experience that is very practical, very grounded in frameworks that you can apply right away and they work, you can apply them not only in the certain situation that you're looking to grow in or achieve.}

{\pard \line \par}

{But beyond the coaching, you'll get it as you, those will be just as applicable. }

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf1 Scott Maderer:\b0}

{ I will add to that 'cause I've worked, in the corporate world and other things and a lot of, I've had a lot of leaders around me who say that, the emotional work, the soft skill work, all of that stuff.}

{\pard \line \par}

{It's all just woo. And. Not practical. What I will tell you is if you've got the right person working with you, it is incredibly effective and practical. And I've seen that myself, where, you it does not have to sound all woowoo. }

{\cf2 [00:34:00]}

{ Things, it can actually be something that at the end of the day you're like that worked, kind of thing.}

{\pard \line \par}

{So that I will second that. When you get the opportunity to work with somebody, that takes that approach. It does change. It does change things. I. }

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf3 Yosi Kossowsky:\b0}

{ Excellent. Yeah, I agree. }

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf1 Scott Maderer:\b0}

{ My brand is inspired stewardship, but I run things through that lens of stewardship, but yet like we were talking about earlier, that's one of those words that can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people.}

{\pard \line \par}

{So when you hear the word stewardship, what does that word mean to you?}

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf3 Yosi Kossowsky:\b0}

{ To me, stewardship means that I have the opportunity. And maybe as Uncle Ben said to Peter Parker, the responsibility to recognize that life is actually happening for us, for me, for you. And that what we have, what we bring to the table, our abilities are }

{\cf2 [00:35:00]}

{ gifts, are really the the means for us to bring that to the world.}

{\pard \line \par}

{And to share it with others, to help others, to elevate others and then to let go and let the ripples go on. I cannot control others. I still working on controlling myself, and so the more that I can stop questioning, why am I here, why do I do that? Recognize that we all have gifts, we all have abilities, and if we can learn to recognize them, then we can be more intentional about them and bring those into the world.}

{\pard \line \par}

{And I find for me, that's what stewardship is. }

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf1 Scott Maderer:\b0}

{ So this is my favorite question that I like to ask everybody. Imagine for a moment that I }

{\cf2 [00:36:00]}

{ invented this magic machine, and with this machine I was able to take you from where you are today and transport you into the future, maybe 150, maybe 250 years.}

{\pard \line \par}

{And through the power of this machine, you were able to look back and see your entire life, see all of the connections, all of the ripples, all of the impacts you've left. What impact do you hope you've left in the world? }

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf3 Yosi Kossowsky:\b0}

{ I hope. People would say about me that I helped them see themselves more clearly to allow them to access their courage, their kindness, and their awareness, and that they therefore felt that they had a sense of choice in how to respond and react to the world around them.}

{\pard \line \par}

{More intentionally, more of the time rather than feeling, oh my God, what's happening? Life is happening. }

{\cf2 [00:37:00]}

{ I have no control. I'm overwhelmed because when I, my, it's been my experience. When we feel and re and find our choice. Which, certainly in the US we call it agency also, but I find that's not necessarily translates globally.}

{\pard \line \par}

{Then all of a sudden a sense of energy and renewed self power comes back into play and then I can do something. And so I hope, I dream that's what I'll be remembered for. }

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf1 Scott Maderer:\b0}

{ So what's on the roadmap? What's coming next as you continue on your journey? }

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf3 Yosi Kossowsky:\b0}

{ So right now I am focused on expanding my network on reaching more people starting to gear up, getting ready to be, to do some keynote speaking to working with more coaches to, to share the, these ideas and these thoughts and to really reach more clients so }

{\cf2 [00:38:00]}

{ that.}

{\pard \line \par}

{I hope again, to help more people feel that they are not in bumper cars.}

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf1 Scott Maderer:\b0}

{ So you can find out more about Yosi on LinkedIn. It's at Y-K-O-S-S-O-W-S-K-Y. I'll have a link to that over in the show notes as well. Is there anything else you'd like to share with the listeners? }

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf3 Yosi Kossowsky:\b0}

{ If you feel that life is happening to you and you feel or find yourself using the should word a lot for others, and you would like to actually make a shift where you feel you are actually having an intentional influence and impact on yourself and on those around you, reach out.}

{\pard \line \par}

{When you get to my, when you get to the LinkedIn page, you can book time with me. There's a link }

{\cf2 [00:39:00]}

{ there just to schedule time. I am open to talking to anybody and seeing if there's something I can do to help you, support you. }

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf1 Scott Maderer:\b0}

{ That's wonderful and I encourage folks to take advantage of that. Again, this is sometimes the harder work, the scary work, but it's honestly the much more valuable work if you wanna make a real change in who you are and how you see the world and how you interact with others.}

{\pard \line \par}

{So thank you for that. }

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf3 Yosi Kossowsky:\b0}

{ Thank you, Scott.}

{\pard \line \par}

{\b\cf1 Scott Maderer:\b0}

{ Thanks so much for listening to the Inspired Stewardship Podcast. As a subscriber and listener, we challenge you to not just sit back and passively listen, but act on what you've heard and find a way to live your calling. If you enjoyed this episode. Please do us a favor. Go over to inspired stewardship.com/itunes.}

{\pard \line \par}

{Rate }

{\cf2 [00:40:00]}

{ all one word iTunes rate. It'll take you through how to leave a rating and review and how to make sure you're subscribed to the podcast so that you can get every episode as it comes out in your feed. Until next time, invest your time, your talent, and your treasures. Develop your influence and impact the world.}

}