Join us today for the Interview with Aaron Guyett, founder of Leaders of Leaders...

This is the interview I had with teacher, speaker, and coach Aaron Guyett.  

In today’s podcast I interview Aaron Guyett. I ask Aaron about why he focuses on developing a rite of passage for his kids, and how you can do the same. I also ask Aaron about how his faith helped him develop this outlook.

Join in on the Chat below.

Episode 1403: Interview with Aaron Guyett about Having a Rite of Passage for Your Kids

[00:00:00] Scott Maderer: Thanks for joining us on episode 1, 403 of the Inspired Stewardship Podcast.

[00:00:07] Aaron Guyett: I'm Aaron Guyett. I challenge you to invest in yourself, invest in others, develop your influence and impact the world by using your time, your talent, and your treasures to live out your calling, having the ability to establish your relationship with Christ and those you lead is key.

[00:00:26] And one way to be inspired to do that is to listen to this. The Inspired Stewardship Podcast with my friend, Scott Maderer

[00:00:43] to

[00:00:43] create this right. And a right is a ritual, right? R I T E is short for ritual. It's, it's, it's a, it's a ritualistic passage that you go through. And usually it's connected to sort of the phases of, of development, right? And so we can see this in scripture and we can see [00:01:00] this in, in essentially any tribe and any group of people throughout history.

[00:01:05] Scott Maderer: Welcome and thank you for joining us on the Inspired Stewardship Podcast. If you truly desire to become the person who God wants you to be, then you must learn to use your time, your talent, and your treasures for your true calling. In the Inspired Stewardship Podcast, you will learn to invest in yourself, invest in others, and develop your influence so that you,

[00:01:37] In today's podcast, I interview Aaron Guyette. I ask Aaron about why he focuses on developing a rite of passage for his kids and how you can do the same. I also ask Aaron about how his faith helped him develop this outlook. I've got a new book coming out. called Inspired Living. Assembling the puzzle of your call by mastering your time, your talent, and your [00:02:00] treasures.

[00:02:00] You can find out more about it and sign up for getting more information over at InspiredStewardship. com Inspired Living. That's InspiredStewardship. com Inspired Living. Aaron Gaillet is a disciple in Christ, husband, father, and teacher. He founded Leaders of Leaders unapologetically proclaiming that Jesus Christ is the leader of all leaders.

[00:02:26] and Discipleship in Christ will enable leaders to develop leaders in Christ, as opposed to just gaining more followers. Aaron Guyette will help you create a rite of passage for your children, and speak or teach at your church, your business, or your event, to edify Christians and discipleship, fatherhood, and manhood.

[00:02:45] Aaron has also founded two fitness businesses. Innovative results and battle ropes education, which he successfully sold. He successfully led Marines in combat and continues to lead and teach Marines stateside as an infantry instructor and [00:03:00] leader in the Marine Corps reserves. He enjoys the challenges and stunning beauty of living in the mountains of North Idaho with his loving wife and three incredible children.

[00:03:10] Welcome to the show, Aaron.

[00:03:12] Aaron Guyett: Oh yeah. Thanks for having me, Scott. Absolutely.

[00:03:15] Scott Maderer: It's great to have you on. I shared some in the intro a little bit about what you've been doing and some of how you've gotten to here today, but I always tell people, I feel like intros are like the Instagram version of our life.

[00:03:30] You take a picture, but you make sure that the frame is just perfect. There's always more to our story than what we share in a bio or an intro. Can you talk? a little bit more about your journey and what has brought you to focus on the teaching that you're doing now around leadership and around Christianity and around parenthood and these

[00:03:55] Aaron Guyett: things.

[00:03:57] Yeah. And so it's funny, I [00:04:00] can I could do a snapshot of. Things that I'm dissatisfied with it seems to me that there are a lot of Christians in Name Only, right? Where they are part of this social club where they meet once a week for an hour and then they basically live their lives the same way that everybody else lives their lives.

[00:04:25] Nothing really has changed, nothing has really transformed. And if. To me, if there is true belief in Jesus Christ if you really actually believe it, this is something that I've talked about with my kids is something we train. We understand what belief is. Belief is something you know to be true and show to be true.

[00:04:46] That, that piece is really important. And so if then I can go rewind all the way back. My parents showed me hard work, but they didn't necessarily show [00:05:00] me. The fruit of the spirit. They didn't necessarily show me the transformation that I have encountered in my discipleship in Christ. That I have encountered that is God is a logical God.

[00:05:13] If God indeed created us, he sustains us in being and he sent his son to die and redeem us. Why are there so many still Christians that just know it to be true, but don't actually show it to be true. And so If I am able to through, through my own discipleship and Hey here's a way to pursue your discipleship, pursue your obedience to Christ.

[00:05:45] Here's a way, not the way, but a way to encounter the way, the truth and the life that is Jesus Christ. And if I can raise my parents raise my parents if I can [00:06:00] raise, yes, that is true. I've actually had some really good conversations with my mom recently. Speaking of that, but I'm not raising her honor my parents, but raise my children in a way that is intentional, where I'm actually intentionally providing them with.

[00:06:19] a foundation and a structure that is solid. And if they have a structure that is solid, then they build their house. So I'm not trying to live vicariously through them by making them do sports that I never competed at the highest level in, or make them join the Marine Corps. Like I joined the Marine Corps, nothing like that.

[00:06:36] I want them to live the life that they were created to live. That is in devotion to the one that created them. And so that, that is that is where it all stems from. If you're, if you pull the thread there's this recent sort of dissatisfaction with Christians in name only which I'm sure if there's a non believer that, that listens to the podcast, they'll [00:07:00] agree just as much as the believer will agree and then also, Hey my parents, just like I'll fall short, my parents fell short, right? We all fall short of God's glory standard. But what can I do to help my children have a more solid foundation? And my parents gifted me with a solid foundation of hard work. So I've got productivity.

[00:07:25] I've got production that I can put I could put some handles on that. on that idea, on that belief and be able to move it forward. So that's the journey. And obviously there's a lot of other stuff that's in there with the Marine Corps and things like that. But that's the crux of it.

[00:07:45] You

[00:07:45] Scott Maderer: know, your parents when they were raising you didn't show you that model. Were, talk a little bit about your faith journey. Were you raised in a were they believers? Were they CEOs Christmas, Easter, only [00:08:00] Christians or were they non-believers? And then how did that transition?

[00:08:03] You mentioned the Marine Corps, yeah, there's the old joke. That's where people find God is in in, in when they're being shot at it's a pretty easy to find God down, right? That kind of thing.

[00:08:15] Aaron Guyett: Yeah. Yeah. So my parents, I started out, we started out in a charismatic church. So I'm talking speaking in tongues, interpreting in tongue tongues, dancing down the aisles, charismatic church.

[00:08:30] And I was dedicated in that charismatic church up on stage to serve the Lord and then it was prophesied over me that I was going to be a bringer of light. Interesting. Then we rolled to, we did a bunch of church shopping because that church ended up folding because the pastor moved to a different area.

[00:08:51] And it's interesting that the that was my first look at the possibility of Christian in name only [00:09:00] not that I had figured that out at that time, but it's if it was truly about Christ, then that church should have stayed together because it was in Christ, not in pastor.

[00:09:08] And then we did church shopping for two years. We ended up at a Roman Catholic church, which is the church that my mom was raised with. My dad was raised in no church, atheist agnostic, okay. And no, no church, no Christ, no nothing. And during that time I was also being influenced by whatever the public school curriculum had to offer.

[00:09:32] So I was looking at biology and evolution and all of these other ideas that it just happened to come into existence. Everything just popped out of nothing into this big bang that created all of the universe. And it just happened. Arbitrarily amazing. And and so I was mesmerized by that.

[00:09:56] I was and then I was not mesmerized by the [00:10:00] Roman Catholic church, but wanting to because I because I love to succeed, I love to do well wanting to climb the ladder of what is the Roman Catholic sacraments and all of that. So did that. But ultimately I joined the Marine Corps.

[00:10:14] All right. And all of that was only a thought in the back of my mind. I would attend mass or services at different church and different functions from time to time, really only to escape, whether it was the mundane. Or to escape the wrath of the drill instructor or to escape essentially right and find solace in this but not really adhere to anything that I stated that I believed in right again that know to be sure and show to be true pieces is rearing its ugly head.

[00:10:47] To the point, but the thing is, I wanted to know why we exist. I wanted to know those questions. Where do we go when we die? I want to know, does God actually exist? Is there a heaven? Is there a hell? I [00:11:00] wanted to know these things so bad that I found myself in Kuwait, attending a service, praying to God, if God existed, that he would kill me in combat.

[00:11:10] And I would know if there's a heaven or a hell. Kind of a dumb prayer, right? If I think back on it, I was like, man, that's my 20 stupid year old ness. But it's also, that was my thirst, right? That was how much I really did want to know. And of course I didn't die. I'm here speaking to you today, Scott and And so then I became a nihilist.

[00:11:34] I thought God doesn't exist. So I'm going to be intellectually honest with the lack of existence. But what that does is then that pulls any sort of meaning, right? Any sort of purpose, any sort of value. All of this stuff is just pitiless indifference. It just popped into existence for no reason at all.

[00:11:53] And there, there was something about that hole that I just fell deeply [00:12:00] into. And I realized I was just playing charades with everybody around me, pretending that there is value and purpose and things like that, following what the world measured as valuable, what the world measured as success, and chasing that.

[00:12:13] To its end, which there is no end to it. It just goes on and on a tick tock scroll or Instagram death's doom scroll or whatever. And and I, but the thing is I could not shake this objective morality. This. This thing where I saw somebody preying on somebody who was innocent, somebody who was strong, preying on somebody who was innocent, or I would hear about sexual abuse.

[00:12:40] And having that happen to me in my childhood, just getting really angry about the lack of justice being served there. But the thing is, if I were to be owning intellectually, owning my worldview, then. It doesn't really matter ultimately, right? We're all just gonna die. And this whole [00:13:00] thing, this whole universe is just gonna sprawl out in, into a great heat death.

[00:13:04] And so none of this really matters at the end of the day. And so I couldn't shake that. And so then I started to try to formulate some sort of worldview that held onto justice, but then still had this sort of naturalism this sort of naturalist point of view. And, and so I went through every, as many traditions as I could to try to find the answer, except for Christianity.

[00:13:30] I was like, God, the last thing I want to do that. I've already done that. I don't want to do it again. I'm not. And and ultimately every single one was like two questions away, three questions away from again, logical absurdity. And and so I was like, okay, I'll give this thing a shot again. And if I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it like I did all these other self realization fellowship or Buddhism or Hinduism.

[00:13:52] I'm going to get the book. I'm going to read it cover to cover. I'm going to get a spiritual mentor or some sort of mentor or father. I'm going [00:14:00] to join the whatever the club is like in this case, it's church, right? And I'll attend regularly. I'm going to join some sort of group where I can talk about the ridiculousness of it or the certainty of it, whatever it is, right?

[00:14:14] And and I have been. It was crazy. I've been finding answers ever since, and they have been incredible in that they're logical, they're scriptural they don't disagree with science, and I have been just incredibly amazed. But there was a point, May 21st, 2009, where I was still white knuckling, still trying to control my life and everybody else's life around me so that I could have what I wanted.

[00:14:46] And my spiritual mentor, I remember him saying, he's yeah, it sounds like you've done everything, but you're doing stuff isn't quite the Christian walk. Why don't you let go? And submit to [00:15:00] Christ, submit all of this to Christ. And that just seemed too far fetched for me at the time. I was like, I don't know, I was struggling like all of my life with, to all of Christ.

[00:15:12] And so I was like, okay, I'm going to do it. Boom. And I did it. And most people are like, and my whole life got better. I was blessed by wrong. Like I was, it was quite the opposite. I had a really stark widow's peak, which nobody can see that they're listening to this, but I start with those peak lost that I lost 40 pounds.

[00:15:30] I was like 220 pounds of muscle. Lost 40 pounds. What felt like overnight. It was obviously over the course of a month or two. At the time it was 2008 2009 so the bubble had popped and I had a fitness business that I owned. I lost 75 percent of my business in what felt like overnight. I lost every single one of my friends because none of them were, none of my quote unquote friends were Christian.

[00:15:54] And I lost every love interest, which was really lust interests. [00:16:00] Because that I that worldview couldn't go with, what it is that I was doing. And and I. And I couldn't have been more content. I Was more content than I had ever been in my entire life because I had, because God gave me what truly mattered, not all of this other stuff, all this other nonsense.

[00:16:19] And I've been, like I said, I've been finding answers ever since. And I've been wholly contented and not always satisfied with what I've been given, or graced with. And not, it hasn't always been easy and it hasn't always been happy, but I can choose joy knowing that God is truly in control.

[00:16:39] That's a long winded answer, but maybe that, I don't know. No,

[00:16:42] Scott Maderer: that Helps. So the, and one thing I want to touch on, you said there at the end that, I think a lot of times we confuse contentment with complacency. You even defended it. As soon as you said content, you said, but not completely satisfied by everything.

[00:16:59] It's [00:17:00] that's actually a different word. The word for stuck in a rut where you just don't care is complacency. It's not contentment. Contentment. I can be happy where I'm at. I can be content where I'm at and still want something different they're not mutually exclusive feelings. And it's that's the I've been content when I have a lot, I've been content when I have a little, because having a lot or having a little isn't what gives you security.

[00:17:28] It's your security and Christ that was giving you the security. you Talked a lot too about showing your faith and doing doing, putting things in action. And I that's one of those areas that there's a lot of different ways of trying to explain it.

[00:17:51] But if I'm hearing you correctly, what you're talking about. too, is that if you've really changed your [00:18:00] life, if you've really submitted, if you really, come to that place of belief out of that comes a natural behavior, that that is congruent with that, that belief as opposed to, I guess what I'm trying to get at is, there are people that at face value appear to be walking the walk.

[00:18:23] That's right. And then when you dig in deeper, it's not really there. Yeah. can you Unpack that a little bit when you're talking to parents or again, when we're the ones walking the walk, whether we're a leader, whether we're a parent and others are looking to us, how does that play

[00:18:39] Aaron Guyett: out?

[00:18:40] Yeah. The story of Abraham comes to mind, the story James, who's, who then refers to the Jesus's brother, who refers to the story of Abraham and his great book on this very topic, you show me, you you show me your faith and I'll show you my faith by my [00:19:00] works, right?

[00:19:01] Where what's happening is, Yeah. Yeah. if I have truly submitted my life to Christ, then there will be an intrinsic outpouring from my heart, right? From the emotional piece of me, from the intellectual pieces, a piece of me, and even to the physical. piece of me. There will be an intrinsic outpouring that is proclaiming that, right?

[00:19:29] That is walking in line with that. And that is the whole faith without works is dead piece, right? That James refers to. So if I have faith, how will I be able to know that if I'm to judge them by their fruit, right? Judge a tree by its fruit. if the Fruit is an apple, then that's an apple tree.

[00:19:50] if the Fruit is, the fruit of the spirit, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self control, then [00:20:00] that, those are going to be the things that are intrinsically outpouring from my existence in every moment. So it's all of Christ for all of life. Now, will a Christian do that perfectly?

[00:20:12] No, of course not. And so then there therein lies. The reason for Christians to forgive other Christians to forgive non Christians even, right? We're going to be quick to forgive because we've been forgiven the things that we shouldn't have been forgiven. Like we didn't deserve that. We didn't deserve this new life that we get to live.

[00:20:32] this Intrinsic outpouring that is Christ right through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. We get to live this. And so we get to freely give that as well. And man, that's a whole lot easier to say than it is to actually walk out. For instance. a couple Of days ago, I blew up in, in my house on my wife and kids, [00:21:00] and, I wasn't compared to the person 20 years ago.

[00:21:04] It was amazing. it was Awesome. at the same Time. If compared to Christ, it was ridiculous and absurd and sinful and wrong. And so then I found myself moments later, confessing that to them, asking them for forgiveness, right? Walking out this gospel message that has been given to me, walking it out in these moments when I screw it up.

[00:21:31] And then asking. Christ to forgive me. And then knowing that forgiveness is a snap of a finger. It's right there. It's happening all of the time. because W it's not that Christians, don't sin, right? It's that we know what to do with our sin. It's not that Christians miss the mark is a better way of putting it, right?

[00:21:51] that's what the word sin Means. Exactly. It's That we know what to do when we miss the Mark. We know that we have to confess. We know that we have to make amends. [00:22:00] And we know that sometimes there's going to be downline consequences for the missing the mark choice that we made. And that has nothing to do with our forgiveness that has to do with just natural consequences that are built into this incredible world that we live in.

[00:22:14] So I don't know if that helps, but it's this intrinsic outpouring where you're going, it's going to be noticeable when this person. has truly submitted to this person that is Christ to include in especially their sins. And then Repentance, meaning turning from that missing of the mark and turning to what, turning to who it's God, right?

[00:22:42] You're turning to God. And now we're walking in line with that. And so then how odd our life how should it look? how ought to How should we live? This is how we live with this entrance. And then when we screw it up, we can recognize that. [00:23:00] And then we can confess that and ask for forgiveness.

[00:23:03] and Also accept the consequences of

[00:23:06] Scott Maderer: that. And even that word repent which penchant is the root word, which means to submit. Notice it's repent, which is to submit again. So literally in the word repentance is an inherent understanding that you've already screwed it up at least once.

[00:23:28] You had to be submitted once and now you have to do it again, which means you've already screwed it up at least once, that's right. So I actually think that's a powerful word when you understand it, because that's where I think a lot of times, as Christians we can. We can not do ourselves any favors.

[00:23:49] I guess I'll put it that way. in, in the Way we treat nonbelievers or even a believer of a different flavor [00:24:00] and that could be another Christian denomination that could be another faith background, whatever, just somebody who is on their own journey. And, we have a tendency to come across sometimes as Almost, almost aggressively arrogant, I guess is how we should put it.

[00:24:21] And it's not a matter of whether it's right or wrong. It's also that recognizing that somebody else is on another journey. And they're at the point that they're at and how can we come beside them and walk with them, not push them away and judge them and beat them up, kind of thing. and I don't Think we do ourselves any favors sometimes with that one.

[00:24:45] Aaron Guyett: Yeah, no, yeah, 100%. Yeah, we're constantly well, and I'm specifically, and I think you're specifically alluding to adults. It's yeah, you're an adult, but you're still on, on your journey. And we [00:25:00] ought to. No truth confront people with truth, but we need to do that in love.

[00:25:06] And so some of that is like forgiving, forgiving ourselves, forgiving them, and understanding, that we aren't God. And I think a lot of Times that's the mess up is all of a sudden we've done the same thing that we did before. Before we were saved, or maybe if you grew up and you just can't remember a time where you didn't believe and confess and submit to Christ in your life, which is amazing that the glory the glory of no testimony or, is pretty awesome.

[00:25:40] unfortunately I have the glory of a. Beaten and battered testimony. I

[00:25:47] Scott Maderer: think there's more, I think there's more of us at that club. But

[00:25:50] Aaron Guyett: so then remembering that it's no, I'm not God. I can't Condemn or make them saved or make them unsaved or, anything I [00:26:00] can merely come alongside them.

[00:26:01] Like you said. Ask really good questions, give them, Hey here's the truth as I see it and understand it, but doing so humbly, it's this is how I see it. And I understand it. and you Should own the truth. that you Believe in like you should own that. You shouldn't be like, I don't know if it's actually true or not.

[00:26:21] no, you Should know with certainty if that is the case, right? Again, some complete submission, To, to that truth that you can understand at that time, but then know that, Hey, maybe they're not ready for that yet. Maybe they haven't been prepared for that yet. and It's the, I think A lot of times Yes, I'm talking mainly about adults there, but bringing it down to, when we're parents and even then we're still not God, we do have a position of authority, but not that position of authority. I tell people my My, one of my favorite expressions is, that one's not my [00:27:00] decision. It's about my pay grade, cause somebody will ask me if I believe somebody is going to.

[00:27:06] Scott Maderer: going to hell. And I'm like, Not my place to make that decision. I'm really happy. It's not my Place to make that decision because yeah, I don't want that responsibility. So when we're looking at it as parents, you talk about rites of passage and the need to raise the children up with that structure.

[00:27:25] Talk a little bit more about what you mean by a rite of passage and what, especially now in the modern world, because I think that was more common, 50, 100 years ago than it is today.

[00:27:40] Aaron Guyett: Yeah. and so I do to Point out that we have these, really crappy versions of rites of passage. Exactly.

[00:27:49] I hate to say it, but we Do, It's Oh, you passed kindergarten, Oh, you graduated high school. Oh, you got a driver's license. Oh, you can buy cigarettes now. [00:28:00] And like all these kinds of, But none of them, with the exception of maybe your high school diploma. you have to do Something, but a lot Of times, the expectations, I went to public school so I can speak at least of my experience in public school, and then juxtapose that with the experience of my kids in private school, and then in also now home school, and the expectation level is just dramatically different, and so I breezed, and not because I'm some, you I'm not dumb, but I'm not some crazy whiz either.

[00:28:35] I'm not some genius or something. I'm average Probably, And intellect, I don't know. There's tests that probably could tell you that I'm below average or whatever. But, but it wasn't really that hard. Like I just needed to attend, right?

[00:28:51] Scott Maderer: Join us next week where Aaron takes an IQ test live on there.

[00:28:55] Sorry. That's where my mind went. Oh man. Yeah.

[00:28:59] Aaron Guyett: [00:29:00] 100%. We won't do that. We won't do that. Oh man. How do you fail these things? How do you fail an IQ test? Yeah, no. yeah, But you didn't really Earn anything. And it wasn't that like for me, it wasn't that memorable. So if it was really memorable, if I look forward to the ceremony, instead of just looking forward to partying afterwards or something like that, it's that just shows one where my values were to where my worldview was.

[00:29:26] but three What system was Presented to create this right and a right is a ritual, right? R I T E is short for ritual. it's a Ritualistic. Passage that you go through. And usually it's connected to the phases of development, right? And so we can see this in scripture and we can see this in essentially any tribe and any group of people throughout history, that there's some sort of at least one, if not multiple rites of passage that we go through [00:30:00] and women.

[00:30:01] they have a Natural one that they automatically earn and it's really through pain which is a bummer but it's also really beautiful right? and that's their puberty and Then getting their period, right? Whereas men, it's not really the same.

[00:30:18] And so typically men, we typically are missional and women typically are more maternal, right? And so with that, yeah. The rites of passage can exemplify that and honor those things that, that just are right. That this is just part of our phases of development, part of, just our life's journey.

[00:30:40] For me, even my own daughters, I wanted them to actually have to get ready, train for something that they could indeed fail. That could indeed Actually injure them or be at least some sort of risk, that they [00:31:00] had to take, that it that's fraught with the things that the world is going to give them anyways when they leave from outside of my household, outside of my household.

[00:31:10] Domain outside of my dominion outside of my control where I can right now I can protect them if I want to protect them I can make them I can push them out and make them vulnerable right and give them in security I can give them security I have the opportunity to provide this as God has given me these.

[00:31:29] incredible beings to steward for a certain period of their life. And so why not for me, take that seriously and then give them something that they can earn. So then they start to get a little bit closer to being able to handle what's going to be on the other side of leaving my protection, of leaving the household, whether it's leaving and cleaving.

[00:31:51] in marriage or leaving and journeying in academia or leaving and journeying in the workforce. I want them to be as [00:32:00] prepared as possible and rooted as much as possible in truth because no child is born into a vacuum that then you just get a. Give them this crazy download before they leave your house and then they're fine.

[00:32:14] All of the Time, children, kids, from babies to, the young adult they're sponges, right? and even adults in their Later human existence are still, can still be sponges. We can still learn, right? And know new things. And so why not take that opportunity when, You can have the most impact to give them strong foundational truths.

[00:32:43] And for me, if God created the world, sustains us in being, that's going to be the strongest foundation. And then it's going to be in and founded in his special revelation. But then there's going to be all this occupational skills techniques. Understanding logic, right? [00:33:00] All of these other pieces that help them decipher is this thing false that I'm being told?

[00:33:05] Is this thing true? Is this thing real? Is this thing not real? is this a good healthy Relationship? Is this a bad toxic relationship? So why not prepare them when they ought to be prepared when they're young and you can do it in a way that provides a protected way of risk, a protected way of failing, right?

[00:33:26] A protected way of learning so that they're not completely stripped of their humanity or lost in a nihilistic spiral like I was, right? I just think that Is the right thing to do as a parent. And so I've got three rites of passage. one is 12 year old where They. Become an adolescent.

[00:33:48] Now they have newfound responsibility, which gives them newfound freedom, right? and with that Freedom just like Viktor Frankl said, the [00:34:00] Statue of Liberty should be balanced on the West Coast with a statue of responsibility right? And so giving that to them in proper doses dosages for their phase of development, and then, I call it dependent adulthood, right?

[00:34:18] Where they still are under your household, still under your care and cover and security, but they've now. Achieved this adulthood at 16 years old, right? and they can start testing some Of this adulthood, but still come back to the safety and protection of dad's house, dad's financial stewardship right?

[00:34:36] All of these things. And then, independent adulthood at 18. And that doesn't mean necessarily that, Oh, I'm booting them out of the house and whatever. you know that, but they are going to Now have a lot more independence in their ability to. Make choices and have failure happen in their life. I just think that, yeah, that's a huge piece that's missing from boys to [00:35:00] men specifically, and especially, but still also girls to women.

[00:35:04] And we see it because, all we have to do is look on social media and see these babies, these children that are 30 years old, acting like immature children, still doing all sorts of immature, ridiculous things, but I think a lot of those transitions to like, I work with a lot of, parents and in the financial realm as a financial coach, that's one of the areas that people come to me for help with.

[00:35:30] Scott Maderer: and More often than not, the things we're talking about, they're like, Oh, I wish I would have learned this when I was a kid, and I always point out to him great. So what are you doing to teach your kids this? Because if that's your thought, You got a kid at home right now. What are we doing?

[00:35:49] so like actually right Now I'm meeting with one of my clients, 18 year olds. I'm meeting with her about once a Month and helping and I'm [00:36:00] reinforcing the lessons that they've been teaching her, but I'm, they brought me in from outside and said, here, meet with this guy.

[00:36:07] and it, and it was Reinforcing and and don't get me wrong. She's one of these she's, yeah. 18 going on 35 But and I did the same thing with my son, like what you're talking about, like at 16, we actually took what we had budgeted for a school clothes, gave it to him and said, this is your money for school clothes.

[00:36:29] Now we're mom and dad. We still get veto power. you have to dress decent. We're not going to let you wear, things that we don't approve of, but you get to go shopping if you spend all of this money. That's what you have for school clothes. If you managed to do it, all of a sudden he discovered thrift stores.

[00:36:46] Yeah. I would admit he got to keep a little Extra money. He's I'm going to Salvation Army. I'm not, forget the name brand stuff, just Okay. So it changed their behavior. So even [00:37:00] little things like that, sometimes we neglect to recognize how it can begin to make them think about the rest of their life.

[00:37:08] Like you said, when there's still some backup and some safety

[00:37:11] Aaron Guyett: around it. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. and it shows, this A level of wisdom. That's why, you said 18 going on 35, it shows a level of wisdom that she, she could refuse to meet with you, but she's actually meeting with you.

[00:37:24] and then it shows a level of Wisdom, even for the parents to include a community of mentors and teachers that. That are, Hey, this mentor, this teacher is a little bit above my pay grade in this particular realm. And I've done the same thing in the Rites of passage. It's like the community is going to come and celebrate when they succeed.

[00:37:47] And it's because it's the community that's going to help train them and help me as a parent and my wife, as a parent. They're going to come alongside and help shape this child's journey into adolescence and this [00:38:00] adolescence child, or this adolescence journey into adulthood, right? Dependent adulthood and independent adulthood.

[00:38:06] So yeah, it's, it shows wisdom there for sure. and I know there's

[00:38:09] Scott Maderer: a lot to it, but can You unpack a little bit of, take one of those transitions, and I'll leave it up to you, which one's your favorite or, which one you'd like to, and just unpack a little bit more, what, what does a rite of passage actually look like or what components make it up?

[00:38:29] Aaron Guyett: Yeah. Yeah. And so I'll try to wavetop it. And so essentially, one, I walk through, in launched series, I do 12 week series. I have a free course that you can go check out DiscipledInChrist. org, for rites of passage and you could see mine. but mine isn't necessarily the One that You're going to use or the one that, another parent is going to use, and so I want, these to be personalized, but what I get the parent to do and what I did [00:39:00] is reverse engineer.

[00:39:02] what is A qualified Christ centered adult look like? What does cast that vision? Look at that. see what that's like. Okay. Are You doing all the things necessary on the foundational steps for that to even appear? And if you're not, okay. Like you said, if if good financial sense at the end, But they're not even doing the basics of understanding how money can be saved or invested or budgeted. there's no sense in Like you got to start there. And so I've reverse engineered it. And so the adult one looks a lot more like adult ish type things where they're, taking certain tests for academia they're learning a trade, they're doing some short term missions trips, they're doing some political understanding, by actually visiting the nation's capital and the state capital and learning on the county level what that looks like, right?

[00:39:58] And so [00:40:00] They're getting their sort of arms around what it's going to be like when they become an actual adult. But prior to that, to prepare them, they're going to have to do some challenging things. So the dependent adulthood is they're going to run. So my, my daughter, Hannah is excited. and she hasn't even, she'll Do her first rite of passage this next summer.

[00:40:21] but she's already excited about this one. It's a 10 day backpacking trip in the mountains that she has to train the family for. She has to budget for, she has to coordinate the drop off of supplies and all of that, and she has to learn all of the skills needed to be able to lead her family from point A to point B at the very end of this 10 day journey, and all of the points in between, and choose good, places to camp and Choose better trails and navigating, all of these things.

[00:40:53] And then of course, weather and mountains and all of that are going to provide stress, plus it's going to be with their family. So we're going to provide [00:41:00] stress. So then there's communication issues. There's all of this stuff, That creates upheaval that she's going to have to navigate, but that's going to show her that she can in fact lead, right?

[00:41:10] She, when she has a sphere of influence, even if. and I think we look down on This. but this is exactly Opposite. even if her sphere of influence is only the Children that she has with her husband, right? In the future, which to me, that is the most impactful place, right? That any parent could.

[00:41:31] Could possibly put their investment into is into their children and then out into the workforce and all of that stuff. but yeah, so that's the 16 year old one And that's wave topping it. Of course, there's a lot more that goes into it, but then the 12 year old one is how do you prepare them for that 16 year old?

[00:41:48] so they've got to learn basic survival. They've got to learn Basic medical. They've got to learn basic swim skills. They've got to learn. basic human things for Survival if they didn't have this wonderful home and this [00:42:00] wonderful infrastructure that the government has, helped us, create, right?

[00:42:04] And we've paid taxes to, to help generate. but then also basics of Logic, right? And so they, they learn the nine rules of logic and then they have logical arguments for God's existence, but then they also learn. Memorize scripture. And so there's all sorts of other things. and then the basic scientific method and right.

[00:42:22] And so some of the basics to give them a robust worldview in which now they can lead from as a, a dependent adult As a 16 year old. And so the. The 12 year old rite of passage is just a five day ordeal, but each day has a physical component, that is also coupled with an intellectual and an emotional and spiritual component.

[00:42:51] And then at the end of each one of those, then there's This great community and church celebration where then we bestow on them gifts, and [00:43:00] then we pray over them and then we affirm them into the next stage that they're going to, walk out or step into.

[00:43:10] Scott Maderer: So I've got a few questions that I like to ask all of my guests, but before I go there, is there anything else about, the rites of passage or the work that you do that you'd like to share with the listener?

[00:43:21] Aaron Guyett: Yeah. the Thing that I've left out in all of this is all of this is cornerstone with the cornerstone, right? That the builders rejected Jesus Christ and discipleship in Christ. obviously that's my Worldview and that's where I'm teaching from. So if somebody isn't a believer in Christ, then it's going to be.

[00:43:43] Quite difficult for us to, for me to help walk them, out in this. So there's other places that you could probably go to help build these rites of passage. but if you are a Christian, then the first thing I, I'm trying to help the parents with, as well as help the [00:44:00] children is their discipleship in Christ and the parents obviously lead that.

[00:44:04] And I, that's my thing is how is your discipleship in Christ? And so we have, Free courses on disciple in christ. org that are also, it's a hundred day discipleship journey and it's, again, it's giving a way of discipleship, which I mentioned a little bit at the very beginning.

[00:44:22] but I, the way I see it is if you could Do something. For a hundred days, then you'll do that for the rest of your life. And so building a habit, turning that habit into a routine, turning that routine into a lifestyle, and then committing that lifestyle to Christ, which brings me all the way back to the very beginning.

[00:44:38] So you're not just Christian in name only. You're, you not only know. What it, what the truth is, but you show what the truth is and you show that by your actions, which is going to first be your discipleship, your submission to Christ. And then we do that through worship scripture prayer. Journaling, [00:45:00] exercise and love, right?

[00:45:01] And loving God and loving your neighbor right as yourself. yeah, I just wanted to add that in there That is a component, whether that's a component that starts with the rite of passage personalization, or it's just a component that that would need to. premise or come before that, that rite of passage walk, because yeah if you're not there, it's going to be really hard to own some of the basic hard skills and soft skills that are necessary for this, for these stages of development.

[00:45:35] Scott Maderer: Yeah, that, that makes sense. So my brand is Inspired Stewardship. And I run things through that lens and that word of stewardship, and yet that's one of those words that I've discovered over the years means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. so when you hear the word stewardship, what does That word

[00:45:53] Aaron Guyett: mean to you?

[00:45:55] yeah, and I would say it's right Relationship [00:46:00] with the things that are in your spheres of influence. and so right relationship Means if it's relational If it's my children if it's you, if it's my wife, if it's God, if it's my work, that I'm pursuing that. As if I am worshiping the Lord.

[00:46:26] So even in my work that there's a Right relationship in the work that I'm doing in that I'm doing it to the glory of God, in parenting that I'm doing it to the glory of God that I'm not, that I'm not doing it selfishly. I think oftentimes, and really seems to me that the opposite of stewardship would be selfishness, right?

[00:46:46] you're actually, you're doing things Only to serve yourself. whereas stewardship, I'm doing this to Serve the Lord, and so I want whatever that human being [00:47:00] is, or whatever that action is, I want it to shine God's glory as much as it, it should have when it was done. Thanks. or to reflect the imago Dei, The image Of God, As much as it possibly can which is, that's why it's, that's why all of this is created to glorify God. And yeah, to me that is stewardship. It's right relationship with our spheres of influence.

[00:47:28] Scott Maderer: So this is my favorite question that I like to ask everybody. Imagine for a moment that I could invent this magic machine.

[00:47:36] And with this machine, I was able to pluck you from where you are today and transport you into the future, maybe 150, maybe 250 years. And through the power of this machine, you were able to look back and see your entire life, see all of the ripples, all of the connections, all of the impacts you've left behind.

[00:47:53] What impact do you hope you've left in the world?

[00:47:58] Aaron Guyett: So I used to [00:48:00] say to, when I would envision this, this future, I used to think quantitatively. but Jesus Christ in the way He ministered and stewarded his time, left me realizing that actually quantity, is not necessarily quality. And so it's that there was enough it's, generational impact that it, it truly changed from and was passed down then from generation to generation and not that it has to be, this particular rite of passage or this particular way of discipling in Christ, but that Christ and our obedience to him and our, and our submission to his authority was something that was the through line into each [00:49:00] next generation.

[00:49:01] and if that is in fact the Case, So if I'm able to affect even just a few people, but affect them in a way where they're not looking to remember Aaron Guyette and all that he did, they're looking to Christ and wow, that is truly transformative for my life, it truly changes my entire worldview.

[00:49:27] And now I'm. truly living a new life in Christ, that be, that there be generational impact. and so then my hope is that there's also. Great human flourishing. and so then it compounds And in 150 years, that can be now we can actually change quantity, but it wasn't changed by trying to reach more people.

[00:49:53] It was changed by trying to impact the people that, that I. Was able to reach right. And so however many that [00:50:00] is, I don't know that's up to God. but I pray that the impact right For Christ, the impact for the glory of God is what matters. So what's coming next?

[00:50:11] Scott Maderer: What's on the roadmap as we continue into

[00:50:13] Aaron Guyett: 2024?

[00:50:15] Yeah, more of these personalized rite of passage. It's like a 12, 12 week course. I'm, the Growth of. And the impact of Discipled in Christ, which is also an app. you can download it on your phone, Apple Or Android doesn't really matter. You just look up Discipled in Christ. You could download the app.

[00:50:38] It's absolutely free. The courses in there are absolutely free. so the flourishing of that to the glory of God And then speaking it would be incredible to be able to

[00:50:55] impact a church, to realize, Hey, there's a You know, [00:51:00] we've been coming and doing this club thing. We've been Christian in name only. We want to own this, by, and by owning it, we want to submit to the one, the only one that's worthy of submission, and then watch that discipleship ripple, right?

[00:51:17] That generational impact, happen. and whether, again, whether it's in front of churches or it's In front of organizations, I've already spoken, in front of churches and in front of organization and done retreats and done conferences and all of that stuff. but that is what I'm seeing on the Horizon.

[00:51:35] That is what I'm pursuing on the horizon is to be able to have more opportunities like this, on your show and more opportunities at churches and in organizations where I can continue to bring glory to God by pointing out, hey, he said, I have authority over. All of heaven and all of earth right now, presently, when he said that in, [00:52:00] 35 AD So then go and disciple nations right?

[00:52:05] baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to obey all that I've commanded you. and I hear that loud and clear, and I just want to Walk that out to the glory of God. You can find

[00:52:19] Scott Maderer: out more about Aaron Guyette over on his website, DiscipledInChrist.

[00:52:23] org. And of course, I'll have a link to that over in the show notes as well. Aaron, anything else you'd like to share with the listener?

[00:52:31] Aaron Guyett: number one, Scott, I just wanted to say thank you so much for the Opportunity to share, with the listeners and yeah, I know it would just be, yeah, check it out, kick the tires.

[00:52:42] if you're not certain if you are in this Nihilistic spiral if you're feeling, in despair or in this Sort of desolate spot that I was in, yeah, I would just encourage you, challenge you crack open the Bible, attend a local [00:53:00] church, get a solid spiritual mentor where you can see that, man, Christ has really impacted him.

[00:53:07] I can see that in his children. I can see that in her, family. I can see that in her occupation and, and learn from these people. and pursue Christ, continue to Pursue your discipleship in Christ. Thanks so much.

[00:53:30] Scott Maderer: Thanks so much for listening to the Inspired Stewardship Podcast. As a subscriber and listener, we challenge you to not just sit back and passively listen, but act on what you've heard and find a way to live your calling. If you enjoyed this episode please do us a favor. Go over to inspiredstewardship.

[00:53:53] com slash iTunes rate. All one word, iTunes [00:54:00] rate. It'll take you through how to leave a rating and review and how to make sure you're subscribed to the podcast so that you can get every episode as it comes out in your feed. Until next time, invest your time. Your talent and your treasures develop your influence and impact the world.

[00:54:29] ​

In today's episode, I ask Aaron about:

  • Why he focuses on developing a rite of passage for his kids... 
  • How you can do the same...
  • How his faith helped him develop this outlook...
  • and more.....

Some of the Resources recommended in this episode: 

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To create this rite, and a rite is a ritual.  It’s a ritualistic passage that you go through and usually it is connected to the phases of development. – Aaron Guyett

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About the Author Scott

Helping people to be better Stewards of God's gifts. Because Stewardship is about more than money.

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