Episode 1204: Saying Yes Too Much?

[00:00:00] Scott Maderer: Thanks for joining me on episode 1,204 of the inspired stewardship podcast. I'm Bob

[00:00:07] Bob Brumm: Braum. I challenge you to invest in yourself, invest in others, develop your influence and impact the world by using your time, your talent and your treasures to live out your calling. Having the ability to find the positivity in life is key.

[00:00:21] And one way to be inspired to do that is to listen to this. The inspired stewardship podcast, my friend Scott Maderer.

[00:00:28] Scott Maderer: And they end up blocking somebody who has a natural gifting in that area who could be doing it. But who doesn't feel that they can because this other person is already doing it. They end up blocking the ability of others who really are called to do that because they're taking it on as an obligation instead of it, their calling.

[00:00:53] Welcome and thank you for joining us on the inspired stewardship podcast. If you truly desire to become the [00:01:00] person who God wants you to be, then you must learn to use your time, your talent and your treasures for your true calling in the inspired stewardship podcast, you will learn to invest in yourself.

[00:01:12] Invest in. And develop your influence so that you can impact the world

[00:01:19] in today's episode about investing in others, through stewarding your talent. I talk with you about why we often say yes to the wrong things, way too much. I share eight reasons why we may say yes too much. And I talk about how this can lead to having others control your life. You've heard me talk about developing your talent and one of the best ways to do that is through books.

[00:01:44] But if you're like most people today, it's hard to find the time to read. And that's why today's podcast is brought to you by audible. Go to inspired stewardship.com/audible to sign up. And you can get a 30 day free trial. [00:02:00] There's over 180,000 titles to choose from, and you can pick one and listen your way to developing your talents via audible.

[00:02:10] That's inspired stewardship.com/audible to get your free trial and listen to great books the same way you're listening to this podcast. Way too often. I think we end up saying yes to things that we really don't want to. Saying no can be really difficult, especially when you've been in the habit of saying yes.

[00:02:33] And then when you do say yes, instead of saying, no, we have this weird feeling of letting ourselves down of not holding true to our own ideas and values. And we often resent the very person that we said yes, We end up feeling mad at them for putting us in the situation of saying yes. When in reality. You are the one that said, yes it was your [00:03:00] decision, your choice.

[00:03:01] You have that power to say yes or no, but we often forget that we have that power. We forget that we can say no to a request that falls outside of our bounds outside of our area of control, outside of what we really want to. Now, by the way, I'm not trying to say that you should say no to every single request that comes in or that you should only focus on your own self, but at the same time, if you say yes to every single request, that's bad.

[00:03:33] And if you say no to every single request, that's bad instead it's about finding that balance, finding that harmony where yes, you can help others. And. Other people get their goals and get what they want, but you can also have good boundaries so that you have the time and energy to also take care of yourself.

[00:03:54] Some of the reasons that we end up saying yes, whenever we really wanna say no, include [00:04:00] a desire to please this idea of what will they think of me if they say no, I know it'll make them happy. If I say. Sometimes we have a fear of hurting someone. We don't wanna disappoint others. We don't wanna hurt their feelings.

[00:04:17] Sometimes it's out of a sense of guilt. I feel selfish if I say no, I feel like I'm only focusing on myself, so I can't turn them down. Sometimes it comes out of a sense of surprise. Because you haven't thought about what you can and cannot do because you haven't got a firm grasp of your own boundaries, values and schedule you end up saying yes, because they surprise you with the request instead of asking for more time or asking for some space to think about it.

[00:04:48] Sometimes we'd say yes, out of a deference to authority, we'll say yes to our boss or to someone in a position of authority over us. They have a position of authority and that [00:05:00] balance of power that imbalance keeps us from saying no. Sometimes we do it out of a sense of reciprocation because we may need future help from this person or because they've helped us in the past.

[00:05:13] We feel that we owe them, which leads us right to sometimes we have a sense of duty. That's the should'ves I should do it. I ought to do it. I owe it to this person. This is someone. That I owe in some way. And sometimes we do it out of our own sense of a need of power, because if we said no, then this person may think we're overwhelmed or we can't handle ourselves.

[00:05:40] Or maybe by saying, yes, we can get a favor from this person later. The truth is that all of this is out of a sense. Of not having clear boundaries around ourselves. We let others dictate who and what we are and the decisions we make, and that can [00:06:00] lead to increased stress, less energy, resentment, all of these sorts of negative feelings that dampen our own energy, motivation and creativity.

[00:06:10] Again, I'm not suggesting you say yes to everything and I'm not suggesting you say no to everything. It's about finding those boundaries. Those non-negotiables. the things that you're going to stay true to because at the end of the day, if you end up saying yes to everything, what we're really doing is giving control of our lives and our decisions and our choices and our power over to other people.

[00:06:38] We often end up becoming somebody that seeds control we give up and indulge others, controlling behavior in some. it becomes a habit to allow others to make that decision for us. We begin to think about the world in terms of what we have to do instead of what choices we [00:07:00] have. It becomes a subconscious habit to allow others to have that sense of control over us.

[00:07:08] We began to neglect self care. We began to give up opportunities. To have control of our own time and our own boundaries. We begin to give up our decision making ability and allow others to make those decisions for us. All of these things allow others to look into our life. And instead of us being able to live out what we are called to do, instead of us being able to do what we are put on the planet to do, including help and serve others.

[00:07:42] But. All the time, not every request. It's about making sure that you're doing the things that are in alignment with your gifting all too often. I see people saying yes to requests because no one else will do it. I have to be the one that [00:08:00] does it. And they end up blocking somebody who has a natural gifting in that area who could be doing it, but who doesn't feel that they can because this other person is already doing.

[00:08:11] They end up blocking the ability of others who really are called to do that because they're taking it on as an obligation, instead of it's their calling. If we would all be able to focus into the areas of the most strength that we have, it allows everyone to live out their calling and it allows everyone to say yes to the right things and no to the right things as well.

[00:08:40] Thanks for listening.

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[00:09:13] Or if you're in the us, you can text 4, 4, 2, 2 talent tips. That's talent tips to 4 4, 2, 2, 2, and get those tips until next time. Invest your. Your talent and your treasures develop your influence and impact the world.