Join us today for an episode about the need to defeat the mindset of perfectionism...
Today's episode is focused on recognizing how perfectionism is the cult of more...
In today’s episode about investing in yourself through stewarding your talent, I talk with you about perfectionism. I share what perfectionism looks like. I also share some of the best ways to let go of perfectionism.
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Episode 1159: Do You Have to Be Perfect?
[00:00:00] Scott Maderer: Thanks for joining me on episode 1,159 of the inspired stewardship podcast.
[00:00:08] Raven Harris: I'm Raven in Paris. I challenge you to invest in yourself, invest in others, develop your influence and impact the world by using your time, your talent and your treasures to live out your calling. Having the ability to lead yourself and others is key.
[00:00:25] And one way to be inspired to do that is to listen to this, the inspired stewardship podcast with my friend, Scott Maderer.
[00:00:34] Scott Maderer: If perfectionism is running your life, then you're constantly on a hamster wheel. Just trying to go chasing goal after goal, after goal, after goal, and never being satisfied with where you are. You're not enjoying the trip. You're constantly chasing the destination and it's constantly. Movie welcome. And thank you for joining us on the [00:01:00] inspired stewardship podcast.
[00:01:02] If you truly desire to become the person who God wants you to be. Then you must learn to use your time, your talent and your treasures for your true calling in the inspired stewardship podcast, you will learn to invest in yourself, invest in others and develop your influence so that you can impact the world.
[00:01:23] In today's episode about investing in yourself through stewarding your talent. I talk with you about perfectionism. I share what perfectionism looks like. And I also share some of the best ways to let go of perfectionism. You've heard me talk about developing your talent and one of the best ways to do that is through books.
[00:01:44] But if you're like most people today, it's hard to find the time to read. And that's why today's podcast is brought to you by audible. Go to inspired stewardship.com/audible to sign up and you can get a 30 day free trial. [00:02:00] There's over 180,000 titles to choose from. And you can pick one and listen your way to developing your talents via.
[00:02:10] That's inspired stewardship.com/audible to get your free trial and listen to great books the same way you're listening to this podcast. Ah, perfectionism, you know, I like to talk about this topic because it's one that I struggle with. There's a lot out there about perfectionism and what it is, and I've talked about it before.
[00:02:35] A lot of times perfection shows up in those voices in our head that are asking when will, what I do be enough. When will I be enough? When will I be truly happy? Or am I just settling? When I'm constantly striving for more, more money, more stuff, more, whatever, more beauty, more brains, more [00:03:00] awards, more recognition, more social media followers.
[00:03:03] More likes about my podcast. More listeners, more this, more that if you think about it, we can very easily tr fall into that trap of constantly striving for the more. But what's funny is when you get there, when you suddenly look up and you've got more followers or you've got more money or you've got more stuff or more awards or more beauty or more brains or more, whatever you discover that you're still not happy.
[00:03:35] It's like the target continuously moves down the road. It always goes a little further out. There's always more, more that you can want. There's always another more to chase. Perfectionism can sneak up on you when you're making decisions, when you're interacting with others, or even in those quiet moments in your [00:04:00] own mind.
[00:04:02] It's, it's that feeling you get when you expect things from yourself that you would never expect from others? It's that working to exhaustion because you're hoping that if you work that hard, you'll find the point where you finally feel whole, you finally feel worthy. It's looking to external things to bring you happiness.
[00:04:28] And then recognizing that, that means you've always got something to prove it's built on guilt on burnout. A lack of self worth or even self hate sometimes it's that whip inside yourself that says if I screw up even a little bit, then it's time to beat myself up because I'm afraid that if I make a mistake, then it'll show up and others will finally know that I'm not worth.[00:05:00]
[00:05:00] and let's face it. When you're operating out of a place of fear, you don't do your best. You don't make the best choices. You don't act in the best way. And that's what perfectionism looks like. If perfectionism is running your life, then you're constantly on a hamster wheel. Just trying to go chasing goal after goal, after goal, after goal, and never being satisfied with where you are.
[00:05:26] You're not enjoying. Trip. You're constantly chasing the destination and it's constantly moving. And if you think about it, there's a lot of culture that puts that on us that says, this is what you should do. If you don't make enough money, then you're not good enough. If you don't live in a nice enough house or driving nice enough car, if you didn't go to the right schools.
[00:05:53] if you don't act or look in a certain way, most of which require consuming things, [00:06:00] then you are not worthy. Perfectionism shows up and it's deceptive because it actually can show up even other people and their actions and their choices can sometimes make you suddenly decide that you're not worth. As well, because if we're constantly looking for acceptance and approval from others, then inevitably you'll end up feeling like no matter what you do, you've never done enough.
[00:06:32] But there are other things you can do. There are ways that you can begin to let go of perfectionism. Each of these could easily be an hour long thing, but I want to talk about a few, most of which we've talked about in different ways before on the podcast. So if you go back and listen to past episodes, you'll hear these ideas showing up time and time again, the idea.
[00:06:58] To let go of perfectionism. [00:07:00] You have to develop a strong sense of self and self worth. You need to begin by examining your mindset, looking at your views and your values and the things that you believe are true about life. What are those voices in your head saying? And where did those voices come from?
[00:07:20] Because you need to focus on the fact that your percept. Is in a very real sense, what creates your reality. And therefore, if you constantly believe that you never have enough and you're not worthy, then that will become your reality. You need to work on the skills of self-reliance. That doesn't mean you isolate yourself and you never talk to others, but you need to recognize that you need to make decisions about your life based on what you believe.
[00:07:53] And. what you value, what the people closest to you supports [00:08:00] you in. And if they're not supporting you, then there's questions. You need to ask about that as well, because the more you do for yourself, the more confident you become. And then the more you recognize that you don't have to be perfect. You just have to be making progress.
[00:08:17] As part of that, you need to learn to let go. You need to use therapy or other things to recognize that what's happened in the past. Doesn't have to be true in the future. You have to recognize that yes, the choices and decisions and actions and events that have happened to you and that you have happened to, and things that have happened in your past.
[00:08:38] They're there, they're real. They've added to where you are today. But that doesn't mean that they determine your future. Either. This is tied up in recognizing that you have to make decisions for yourself, not let other people make decisions for you because you have to accept [00:09:00] yourself for who you are.
[00:09:01] And if you have disdain hate anger at yourself, you can't. Hate yourself into accepting yourself. You can't hate yourself into loving yourself. You have to understand that you could have failed in the past, but that doesn't make you a failure. You have to work to make progress. And as part of that, you have to recognize that the journey, the now the moment the present is all you can live.
[00:09:36] You can't live in the future. You can't live in the past. You can learn from the past and you can act in the present to make things better in the future, but you can't actually live in the past or in the future. You can only live in the present now. And if that's true, then in a very real way, [00:10:00] you can never.
[00:10:01] Arrive at the destination, you can never be perfect. You can never have enough or do enough to be worthy. Instead you have to enjoy the trip. You have to enjoy the journey. You have to be present in the now. Thanks for listening.
[00:10:21] Thanks so much for listening to the inspired stewardship podcast. As a subscriber and listener, we challenge you to not just sit back and passively listen, but act on what you've heard and find a way to live your calling. If you like this episode on the stewardship of talent, you can go over to inspired stewardship.com/talent and sign.
[00:10:48] For our five week series on the stewardship of talent, or if you're in the us, you can text 4, 4, 2, 2, 2 talent tips. [00:11:00] That's talent tips to 4, 4, 2, 2, and get those tips until next time, invest your time, your talent and your treasures. Develop your influence and impact the world.
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In today's episode, I talk with you about:
Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life. – Anne Lamott
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