Join us today for Part 3 of the Interview with Jerry Fu, conflict coach for Asian-Americans...
This is Part 3 of the interview I had with speaker and coach Jerry Fu.
In today’s interview with Jerry Fu, I ask Jerry for his best questions to ask as a Leader. I also ask Jerry how he would suggest you build your influence. Jerry also shares some tips on public speaking.
Join in on the Chat below.
Episode 1106: Develop Your Influence - Interview with Leadership Coach Jerry Fu â€“ Part 3
[00:00:00] Scott Maderer: Thanks for joining me on episode 1,106 of the inspired stewardship podcast.
[00:00:08] Jerry Fu: I'm Jerry Fu. I challenge you to invest in yourself, invest in others, develop your influence and impact the world by using your time, your talent and your treasures to live out your. Having the ability to understand and resolve conflict is key.
[00:00:25] And one way to be inspired to do that is to listen to this, the inspires stewardship podcast with my friend, Scott made her
[00:00:33] you're good at what you do, right? That's the first prerequisite pull your weight don't just meet expectations, exceed them. And it sounds easy. It sounds that makes sense, but obviously there's, this seems to be a disconnect between what people agree to when you say, oh yeah, that's a good thought.
[00:00:50] And then actually living it out. Sometimes it may mean staying later hours just to make sure a project is done correctly. Welcome and thank you for joining us on the [00:01:00] inspired stewardship podcasts. If you truly desire to become the person who God wants you to be, then you must learn to use your time, your talent and your treasures for your true calling and the inspired stewardship podcast.
[00:01:14] Scott Maderer: We'll learn to invest in yourself, invest in others and develop your influence so that you can impact. In today's interview with Jerry Fu, I asked Jerry for his best questions to ask as a leader. I also asked Jerry how he would suggest you best build your influence. And Jerry also shares some tips on public speaking.
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[00:02:26] Jerry Fu is a conflict resolution coach for Asian American leaders. He started coaching in 2017 to help other Asian American professionals deal with the challenges they encounter at work with their families and within themselves prior to starting his coaching business, Jerry worked as a pharmacist and began facilitating leadership workshops in 2012.
[00:02:48] Today, Jerry offers a range of coaching services, which includes individual cases. Group workshops and keynote presentations in his free time. Jerry enjoys travel, trying new [00:03:00] restaurants and lots of salsa dancing. Welcome to the show. Jerry
[00:03:04] Jerry Fu: Scott, thanks for having me.
[00:03:07] Scott Maderer: So over the last few weeks, we've talked a lot about leadership, but leadership is one of those words that I've learned over the years.
[00:03:15] Everybody kind of defines a little differently. So how would you actually define the word.
[00:03:21] Jerry Fu: Mad. Yeah. Great question. I think leadership is, I think one definition I'll work with is inspiring people to go places where they couldn't imagine themselves going. And I mean that in a good way, right?
[00:03:39] Like helping them realize their full potential and then acting on that potential in a way. That leads to an impact, not just on their personal selves, but also for the people around them. Because at the end of the day, leadership is a combination of influence and inspiration and impact. So what are some of the questions [00:04:00] that you believe that leaders should learn and utilize and having their toolbox?
[00:04:06] Scott Maderer: Oh
[00:04:06] Jerry Fu: man. Yeah. Some of the best questions come from a book by Michael Bungay, Stanier called the coaching habit. And some of the questions I use from his list include what's the real challenge here for you? That's a fun one because it allows people to tell you what's really going on instead of the surface level thing, problem that they usually come to you with.
[00:04:29] Some of the other questions I use or what have we learned. When something goes wrong you just ask what's the lesson here. And then another fun question is what's the next action because it's forward-thinking and it's active. So those are some of the better questions to use.
[00:04:45] Other questions can say something like what else can we try? It can be that simple. They, it doesn't have to be overly profound. It just needs to get people to think another thing is what's your biggest takeaway from our time together? [00:05:00] So it was somewhat to the learning question, right?
[00:05:02] Another one is, yeah, what's your solution. And so now people are cutting out complaining, right? That's a fun one city. You have to, you have to cut that out immediately because people can complain. And then that's when you ask this question what's the solution what's your next action.
[00:05:16] Some questions to use. I like bill Burnett mentioned a question that he uses or is a combination of questions. One will, this one is what's going on here. And then they tell them, and then they say something okay, what's really going on here. That's okay, now that you told me a surface level assessments.
[00:05:33] Okay. Let's peel back that layer and see, okay. What's underneath the hood. So does this,
[00:05:38] Scott Maderer: I liked the question what's what else? Or tell me more because. People will always tell you more if you ask them.
[00:05:47] Jerry Fu: Yeah. What does success look like? That's another one. Just okay. I've like back to our conflict resolution tactics that we talked about. Yeah.
[00:05:55] Scott Maderer: So why do you think. Why do you think it is that know, you just [00:06:00] rattled off eight or 10 questions and I started rattling off two or three. Why is it that I think a lot of leaders go into these situations and don't think about questions to ask, but instead think about statements to make.
[00:06:13] Jerry Fu: Yeah. A lot of it comes from this perception that a leader has to know every. That's what I bought into is I get to be a leader because now I get to boss people around. I know what's best. I need to lead this team. So I'm going to tell them what needs to be timed. And there are times in place.
[00:06:31] There's a time and place for that in terms of directives, mainly in crisis situations, where people just want that seven step action plan. They don't want to worry about what am I feeling right now? This is during a fire evacuation
[00:06:44] feeling right now. I'm feeling overheated and there's smoke and dah.
[00:06:48] And so I'll give a quick example with this, because this was something I had to learn. What was funny was with my current team, when we first started off. The pharmacy and we're trying to build up business and relationships and [00:07:00] cashflow is tripping instead of running. And so just a lot of fires to put out.
[00:07:06] And I would try to ask my team these questions because I was very much into coaching questions at this point. And they said, Jerry we don't have time to really talk through this and develop this. Just tell us the solution. I said, okay, that's what we need to do. Then that's what I'll do.
[00:07:21] If this is what you're telling me, you need, I am not going to insist on my ways best until we got out of the crisis and business stabilized a bit. And then unfortunately I started on my days off or on vacation, I was still get phone calls because every time they were used to, Jerry tells me what to do now.
[00:07:38] And so I get calls on my days off and they said, okay, This is unacceptable. So another question that I told them to ask themselves is how dairy handle this before you ever pick up the phone, just asks, what would Jerry do? What would Jerry do WWJD. And but it cut down on it significantly.
[00:07:57] And then that would give them parameters to say, okay, if you can solve this [00:08:00] patient's problem with less than $30, then just do it. You don't need, you can tell me later, but you don't need me to sign off. Small initiatives every single time thousand dollar solutions. Yeah. Give me a call. We'll make sure everything's set to go.
[00:08:13] And you are stronger than to the point where you don't need me holding your hand every time, because I've been guilty of that. Like when I got scared, but yeah. So the transition from the irony is that these texts at one point wanted me to tell them. Even as they defied some of the things, some of the boundaries that they would have to tell them.
[00:08:29] And so it's just I can't win with you all sometimes. Can I? But yeah the best leaders understand and can suss out their team and feel the pulse of the team. Okay. Is this something that I need to ask a question around, and that's something you can do to try to check yourself right.
[00:08:45] To say instead of, oh, I'm about to jump in and tell something. You could ask yourself, what kind of questions should I be asking you? And that's a good, that's a good stop. And then you can think, okay, how can I frame this as a question? Not as a leading question, but just to draw more solutions and more perspectives that you might not have [00:09:00] uncovered otherwise.
[00:09:00] Yeah. No, no one would respect a doctor who simply told you what you need to do without identifying the problem first. And in a way, this is the same thing. Like you have to take time to learn what the problem is before you can say something. So yeah.
[00:09:15] Scott Maderer: So if somebody is out there and they're wanting to build their influence, what are some of the tips or resources or advice that you would have for them?
[00:09:24] Jerry Fu: Yeah. Ask yourself. What's the value of integrity why do you trust certain people in your life? What are some of the common characteristics of the people you trust in your life? As a punctuality, do they honor their promises? Do they communicate proactively in a way that says, Hey something came up and we're gonna have to reschedule the appointment.
[00:09:47] Can we reschedule? And yeah, be good at what you do that's the first prerequisite pull your weight don't just meet expectations, exceed them. And it sounds easy. It [00:10:00] sounds, that makes sense. But obviously there's, this seems to be a disconnect between what. People agree to when they say, oh yeah, that's a good thought.
[00:10:07] And then actually living it out. Sometimes it may mean staying later hours just to make sure a project is done correctly. Sometimes maybe you offer a patient free, overnight shipping or free same-day shipping just to really show them, Hey, your situation is urgent or it doesn't matter what it costs.
[00:10:25] We're going to take care of you. When people show you really care when you show it that you are authentic. That thing that seems to be a big word nowadays is authenticity. People feel like you are who you say you are that's then they know they can trust you. Yeah.
[00:10:38] So work hard on our promises live consistent with the beliefs you set for yourself. When. Tell my employees, I need people who are focused and efficient and punctual and communicative and coachable. I need to exhibit those same qualities, right? No one likes hypocrisy, even as it keeps coming up.
[00:10:57] I'd say in terms of influence, [00:11:00] those are that's where I would say.
[00:11:00] Scott Maderer: So you've had an opportunity to do workshops and do public speaking and various things like that. Do you have any tips for folks that are maybe I that's one of those areas that a lot of people want to do, but most people back to what we talked about earlier, that fear mindset of terrified to do it.
[00:11:19] What are some of the tips that you would share with folks that want to get into or get better at speaking?
[00:11:25] Jerry Fu: Yeah. I think find the local Toastmasters club would say, I'll be happy to plug Toastmasters. I was in a Toastmasters club growing up and and it's a definitely reliable brand. One of the one I'll give a fun example for one of the ways they help people get better.
[00:11:43] Whenever people use excessive stutters or or one chap that used the bell every time someone said Bing and just the thinking that has to stop, I have to stop saying these things, right? Some people don't like that negative reinforcement to [00:12:00] say if you stop saying them, then the Bellville stall, so stop, but it is very effective.
[00:12:07] Scott Maderer: part of it is that you're not conscious of the fact that you're
[00:12:09] Jerry Fu: saying exactly. Yeah. And it makes it generating awareness is always a good thing. Other things you can consider. Find a non-profit that, you know, and learn their challenges, right? It's not hard to start volunteering with a nonprofit, building those relationships and finding out what the challenges are and then just designed to do some PowerPoints, and say, Hey, would you sounds the guys it sounds like you guys are struggling with this topic. Would you like me to do maybe a 15 or 20 minute presentation on this topic so that we can all learn? Rarely will they say no to a volunteer that takes that kind of initiative. I'll give other examples.
[00:12:50] Yeah. Just look for situations or opportunities where you realize that failure is not going to cost you money or a reputation. For instance, at one point I [00:13:00] would leave worship for celebrating. And up until that point, I was very self-conscious of myself as a guitar player. I just felt like I was content just to play guitar in my room.
[00:13:11] And I was afraid that if I messed up in front of people, this would be an MBA be embarrassing. But then you go into a setting where they're just happy to have live. The cop you dinner, there's not a lot in your reputation. It's not on the line. And next thing you're getting the reps. You need to get comfortable playing in front of people and you gets some pizza in the process.
[00:13:31] Great. So same thing with this, look for situations where failure is not fatal. I'm still learning this myself. Hey, you know what, if you post a Lebanon. And charge something. Don't just do a free webinar necessarily because people like free stuff, but they don't respect free stuff.
[00:13:49] See, who's actually willing to put skin in the game, but Charles something we'll have five or $10, just to see who bites and then yeah. Worst thing that happens there, they say, no, this was a waste of my [00:14:00] time. I want my money back. You'd get back $10, big deal. Yeah. Look for situations where you can help where people.
[00:14:06] Need help and maybe can't afford like professional consulting or things like that. And then just give of yourself, give of your experience. And that's when you put yourself in a situation where a failure won't kill your reputation, then it takes the distinct way. Same thing with cooking.
[00:14:22] If I cook for myself, And it goes poorly. I can't say I'm embarrassed because no, one's around to be like, your food is terrible. You just try again. So it's not the failure. That's the problem is that if the perception of shame from other people's opinions.
[00:14:38] Scott Maderer: Oh, and that's usually where the fear of public speaking actually comes from is people aren't actually afraid of getting up in front of people and talking.
[00:14:44] Yeah. They're afraid of everyone ostracizing them and calling them out,
[00:14:49] Jerry Fu: And that's a good thing to come back to because yeah. You had a couple of friends over and say, Hey, I'm running through a presentation. Can I just buy some piece of for y'all and you give me feedback on the thing, right? And these are [00:15:00] friends and you're just like, I can just have fun and be loose with this and take the feedback.
[00:15:04] Cause I know like I don't have to impress them. They're my friends. And the irony is that when you let go of trying to impress people, you actually become more of yourself than you are enjoying able to enjoy yourself in the moment as you're giving it. Instead of just worrying about whether or not you'll get the job after having given this PowerPoint.
[00:15:20] Scott Maderer: You can follow Jerry on LinkedIn as Jerry Fu or find him on his firstname.lastname@example.org. Of course I'll have links to those over in the show
[00:15:31] Scott Maderer: as well. Jerry, is there anything else that you'd like to share with the listener?
[00:15:36] Jerry Fu: Yeah, sure. Yeah. When you go to the website, there was a free download.
[00:15:41] We may have mentioned this earlier in the previous episode about yeah. Free download on a framework to handle. Difficult conversations. You can also schedule a complimentary 30 minute call just to share your story or a challenge. You need some help with no strings attached. You can also find my free book blog where I discussed [00:16:00] interesting and useful leadership literature.
[00:16:01] Summarize it for you, give you some key takeaways. So if you don't have time to read this, check out the blog post, and hopefully that's enough to get you going, or it's inspire you to read the book yourself and see what kind of dialogue that leads to other things on. Or available, I have a monthly book discussion.
[00:16:14] It's just 10 bucks a person the first Wednesday of every month. We do some networking. I'll give you a book summary and then there's some facilitate discussion. So it's a great opportunity to network, get some insights and even stay in touch and keep each other accountable with whatever next actions you want to take.
[00:16:28] After having heard the book.
[00:16:29] Scott Maderer: Thanks so much for listening to the inspired stewardship podcast, as a subscriber and listener, we challenge you to not just sit back and passively listen, but act on what you've heard and find a way to live your calling. If you enjoy this episode. Please do us a favor. Go over to inspired stewardship.com/itunes rate.
[00:16:58] All one word [00:17:00] iTunes rate. It'll take you through how to leave a rating and review and how to make sure you're subscribed to the podcast so that you can get every episode as it comes out in your feed until next time, invest your time. Your talent and your treasures develop your influence and impact the world.
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Be good at what you do. Pull your weight. Don’t just meet expectations exceed them. It sounds easy but there is a huge disconnect between what people agree to and what they do. - Jerry Fu
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