Episode 1104: Filter the Opinions

[00:00:00] Scott Maderer: Thanks for joining me on episode 1,104 of the inspired stewardship podcast.

[00:00:07] Jennifer Luzato: I'm Jennifer Lozado, author of inheriting chaos with compassion. I encourage you to find the ways to be loving with your family both before and after you pass. And one way to be inspired to do that is to listen to this, the inspired stewardship podcast with my friend, Scott.

[00:00:25] Scott Maderer: Then it's almost impossible to make that decision and you end up working for 50 years in a job that you enjoy, but it's not really what you were supposed to do. And we all know those people that have done that. They've lived out someone else's dream for them, and they end up at a point in their life where they regret.

[00:00:45] Welcome and thank you for joining us on the inspired stewardship podcasts. If you truly desire to become the person who God wants you to be, then you must learn to use your time, your talent and your treasures for your [00:01:00] true calling in the inspired stewardship podcast. We'll learn to invest in yourself, invest in others and develop your influence so that you can impact the world.

[00:01:12] and today's episode about investing in others through stewarding your talent. I talk with you about how everyone has an opinion about your life. I talk about how you need to recognize that you don't have to accept everyone's opinion. And I also share why that also doesn't mean you have to ignore others opinions.

[00:01:31] You've heard me talk about developing your talent and what are the best ways to do that is through books. But if you're like most people today, it's hard to find the time to read. And that's why today's podcast is brought to you by audible. Go to inspired stewardship.com/audible to sign. And you can get a 30 day free trial.

[00:01:53] There's over 180,000 titles to choose from, and you can pick one and listen your [00:02:00] way to developing your talents via audible. That's inspired stewardship.com/audible. To get your free trial and listen to great books the same way you're listening to this podcast. One of the things Jerry said on Monday's episode is this idea that everyone has an opinion about your life.

[00:02:21] And I think it's really true at the end of the day that the people around you, whether they're people who care about you or even sometimes total strangers, often have an opinion about your life. They have a direction that they think you should be going. They feel like you should act a certain way or say certain things.

[00:02:41] And when you study psychology, you recognize that we often have opinions about other people's lives. That's really driven by our opinions about our own life. If we have a life that we love, we tend to look for opportunities for others to [00:03:00] have a life that they love. If we have a life that we hate, we tend to push people towards doing things that maybe we feel would make our life.

[00:03:11] We tend to have an opinion about other people's lives, oftentimes, because it's really hard to be honest about our opinion of our own life. It's easier to direct that towards other people. And when you recognize that you begin to realize that all of the people around you, whether these are people who care deeply about you or whether these are total strangers, they have an opinion about your life.

[00:03:41] And it's not that you need to accept their opinion at face value. In fact, you need to always filter the opinions you need to think about. What's behind the opinion, what's the motivation behind it. And I don't necessarily mean motivation in a negative [00:04:00] way either. Again, this can be people who sincerely care about.

[00:04:05] Oftentimes the people who love you the most will give you a push towards quote, playing it, safe, doing something that they see as the safe option, because they don't want to see you getting hurt. That's their motivation to protect you because they love you. They care about you. They don't want to see you get hurt, but sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is take away.

[00:04:28] Do something that yes, it may end in getting you hurt, but you will learn something in that experience that moves you forward in life. So you don't have to accept everyone's opinion, even the people that love you the most. And for sure, you don't have to accept the opinion of people that are looking at you and judging you and perhaps don't have your best interest at all.

[00:04:54] Whether that's something like being in an abusive relationship or controlling relationship, or whether that's [00:05:00] something as simple as someone who's jealous or frustrated or angry with you, having an opinion about who and what you are, and don't get me wrong. I'm not just saying, ignore everyone else's opinions and do your own thing and never think about how it impacts others.

[00:05:16] If you've listened to this show for more than five minutes, you know that I have a. Service minded direction to the show. The idea of serving others is integral to what I talk about. So it doesn't mean just ignore their opinion and don't listen to what other people say it means filter it. It means, think about what's behind the.

[00:05:40] Think about what your own opinion of the situation is for sure. Seek advice for sure. Seek mentorship, for sure. Go to people that maybe have been there before or done it before. If you want advice on marriage, I don't suggest going to the person that's been divorced five times. I suggest going to the person that's been married [00:06:00] 75 years happily and has lots of kids and grandkids and all of these other things that you will.

[00:06:06] If you want to get an opinion from somebody that has value, look for somebody who's done it before, but make sure that you're recognizing that they have a reason behind their opinion and seek that reason out. Don't just take the opinion at face value. Don't just accept it blindly, but also don't just ignore it blindly.

[00:06:28] And I see both of those extremes happening to me. I see people who want to live out what other people have told them is their direction for life. And I see people who ignore everyone's opinion and don't ever listen to advice or talk to others about what's going on, who also get themselves in trouble because the truth is both of those extremes are wrong, but it's important to recognize that.

[00:06:56] Have a process and a criteria by which [00:07:00] you seek out opinions, but then you also filter them through your own experience over time. And it's a learning process. It's a process, not an event. It's not something that I would say is easy to do, especially when those opinions come from people that you trust and that you love.

[00:07:17] Oftentimes those are the hardest opinions to feel. And you need to communicate about that. You need to sometimes have that conversation. That really hard conversation of, I know you want to protect me. I know you want to keep me from getting hurt and I understand your opinion. I've heard it. I really accept that you value this and that.

[00:07:38] I value you and I value your opinion, but I'm going to need to do something different for me. This is the direction I'm going to go. Back when I quit my day job, I got a lot of opinions from people about how it was foolish. It was the wrong thing to do. When I started my own coaching business and [00:08:00] left my day job, I left a day job where I was very highly compensated.

[00:08:05] It was a job that I loved in many ways. I talked about all of the things that I loved about it. And people said, why would you give that up to go start your own business? But the things that I love about doing the coaching. We're bigger than the things that I loved about my day job. And that's how I look at it.

[00:08:27] What is it about the choice that moves me in the direction that I'm living more authentically to what I feel that God has put me on this planet? Now you may have a different criteria for your decision-making. You may run that through a different filter, but the idea is you've got to have a filter.

[00:08:48] You've got to have a criteria by which you can decide something. Otherwise when you get to those tough decisions, like leaving a great job to go do something that's really unknown [00:09:00] that you have no idea whether it's going to work out or not. Then it's almost impossible to make that. And you end up working for 50 years in a job that you enjoy, but it's not really what you were supposed to do.

[00:09:14] And we all know those people that have done that. They've lived out someone else's dream for them, and they end up at a point in their life where they regret that. And it's not have no regrets. Regret is a powerful emotion, one that we need, but it's a. Figuring out what that emotion is trying to teach you so that in the long run, you can minimize those regrets and move towards being more authentically what your called to do and living out those opinions, not just the opinions that people have for you by default.

[00:09:52] Thanks for listening.

[00:09:54] Thanks so much for listening to the inspired stewardship podcast as a [00:10:00] subscriber and listener, we challenge you to not just sit back and passively listen, but act on what you've heard and find a way to live your call. If you liked this episode on the stewardship of talent, you can go over to inspired stewardship.com/talent and sign up for our five week series on the stewardship of talent.

[00:10:25] Or if you're in the U S you can text 4, 4, 2, 2, 2 talent tips. That's talent tips to 4 4, 2, 2, 2, and get those tips until next time. Invest your time. Your talent and your treasures develop your influence and impact the world.