Episode 1004: Dealing with Imposter Syndrome

[00:00:00] Scott Maderer: Thanks for joining me on episode 1004 of the inspired stewardship podcast.

[00:00:07] Myles Wakeham: I'm miles waken. I challenge you to invest in yourself, invest in others, develop your influence and impact the world by using your time, your talent, your treasure is to live out your calling. Having the ability to live an unconstrained life is key.

[00:00:21] And one way to be inspired to do that is to listen to this. The inspired stewardship podcast with my friend Scott Miller.

[00:00:29] Scott Maderer: The truth is it's not a justified feeling. And yet it's a feeling that most of us have. And what happens when we have it is because we have it. We begin to hide ourselves. We begin to withdraw. We begin to procrastinate and put things off. Less done and less important things done. We began to no longer do the work because we're afraid we'll be found out.

[00:00:57] Welcome. And thank you for joining us on the [00:01:00] inspired stewardship podcasts. If you truly desire to become the person who God wants you to be, then you must learn to use your time, your talent and your treasures for your true calling in the inspired stewardship podcast. We'll learn to invest in. Invest in others and develop your influence so that you can impact the world.

[00:01:23] And today's episode about investing in others through stewarding your talent. I talk with you about what is imposter syndrome. I share why it's not really justified. And I also share some specific things you can do so that you can deal with that feeling. You've heard me talk about developing your team.

[00:01:44] And what are the best ways to do that is through books. But if you're like most people today, it's hard to find the time to read. And that's why today's podcast is brought to you by audible. Go to inspired stewardship.com/audible to [00:02:00] sign up and you can get a 30 day free trial. There's over 180,000 titles to choose from.

[00:02:07] And you can pick one and listen your way to developing your talents via. That's inspired stewardship.com/audible to get your free trial and listen to great books the same way you're listening to this podcast. Behind closed doors whenever you're on your own. And in your own mind, do you ever feel like a fraud and imposter?

[00:02:31] Do you ever feel like as soon as people figure it out and figure out that I really don't know as much as it seems like I do it, that I'm not as good as people think I am. That as soon as. Find it out and find out my lack of abilities, then I'll be exposed and everyone will know, and I won't be a success anymore.

[00:02:55] That's what imposter syndrome is. And almost [00:03:00] everyone has some degree of imposter syndrome from time to time. At least regularly has those feelings. A lot of folks, even very successful folks, I've worked with a lot of clients who have high net worth, who run successful businesses and who yet still feel like I really just don't belong as soon as they figure out that I don't know what I'm doing, that I'm just getting through as best I can.

[00:03:26] Then it's all going to come tumbling down around. Yeah, I've had that feeling from time to time. I think all of the coaches that I work with have that feeling from time to time. So I've seen it show up over and over again. This is a weird cognitive distortion. That can hold us back from success.

[00:03:50] So the truth is that there's a degree to this, that comes in around first having what they would call the imposter cycle. [00:04:00] You have this need to be the best or to be recognized as excellent. You have some aspect of superhero ism around it. You have a fear. Failure. You constantly deny your own competence and push away praise, and you have some sense of fear and guilt about success.

[00:04:21] These are the characteristics that are found that are in common around imposter syndrome. And yet it's really never a justified feeling. Stop and think for. Usually what's happening is because you've had some degree of success. You're afraid that you've pushed beyond your ability that your success isn't real.

[00:04:49] It is. That's why you're seeing it as success. It's this feeling of you've got to be the perfect one, but nobody else expects you to be the [00:05:00] perfect one. It's the feeling of, you've got to be the superhero. You've got to be the one that solves every problem and fixes everything. And yet nobody else expects that of.

[00:05:11] The truth is it's not a justified feeling. And yet it's a feeling that most of us have. And what happens when we have it is because we have it. We begin to hide ourselves. We begin to withdraw. We begin to procrastinate and put things off. We begin to get less done and less important things done. We begin to no longer do the work because we're afraid we'll be found out.

[00:05:39] And what's funny is then oftentimes things come crashing in and so it becomes almost a self fulfilling prophecy of now we failed. See, it was true all along instead. What you need to do is step back and go through a couple of simple steps, identify their feeling, recognize that [00:06:00] yes, this feeling exists. I am feeling like an imposter.

[00:06:05] Then, except that feeling, but also recognize whenever someone praises you, whenever someone calls out your success, whatever someone points out, something you've done well, instead of pushing it away, say thank you, recognize that they're calling out your success. Work to give up the idea of having to be perfect, having to be the superhero, having to be the one that solves every problem and recognize that nobody else is putting that on you.

[00:06:35] You're probably putting it on yourself, begin to recognize and reaffirm your own self worth, work on understanding, truly understanding and accepting your skills and your abilities, your strengths, and your weaknesses. Recognize that it's not about knowing everything and it's not about being perfect, but there are things that you are [00:07:00] good at.

[00:07:01] There has to be. That's how you got to where you are. You may need to spend some time in therapy or counseling. You may need to spend some time with a coach or another professional working on it, but the truth is there is worth the. And the course beginning to work on things like relaxation and meditation exercises can help as well.

[00:07:24] I, those talk about all the time, because they show up in so many things because that's how we become self aware of our own feelings. The truth is imposter syndrome is a very normal response to success. It's one that I've seen, like I said, from the ultra successful to people that are struggling. I see it show up time and time again, because it's so normal, but just because it's normal, doesn't mean it's something you have to accept and it becomes the state that you will live in.

[00:07:58] Instead you can [00:08:00] actually learn. How to deal with imposter syndrome, how to make it better, how to get to the point where you no longer have that feeling, or at least not as often and where, when you do have the feeling, it doesn't cause you to stall out and procrastinate and not get anything done. And it doesn't lead to bigger problems down the road.

[00:08:25] Thanks for listening.

[00:08:26] Thanks so much for listening to the inspired stewardship podcast, as a subscriber and listener, we challenge you to not just sit back and passively listen, but act on what you've heard and find a way to live your calling. If you like this episode on the stewardship of talent, you can go over to inspired stewardship.com/.

[00:08:52] And sign up for our five week series on the stewardship of talent, or if you're in the us, you can [00:09:00] text 4, 4, 2, 2, 2 talent tips. That's talent tips to 4 4, 2, 2, 2, and get those tips until next time. Invest your time. Your talent and your treasures develop your influence and impact the world.